SOLVED with Mark Manson

Imagine if you could sit down with one of the world’s leading happiness researchers and ask her, one by one, what actually makes people happier and what doesn’t?

Well, that’s basically what I did.

In this episode, Sonja and I get deep into the subject of happiness. One by one, we conclude which of life’s simple and not-so-simple pleasures are underrated or overrated. Some of the answers will definitely surprise you.

Do yourself a favor—watch, like, and share the happiness.

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If you’ve ever been stuck working some BS desk job thinking there’s got to be more to life, then you were right. There’s travel.

High-quality, intentional travel is one of the most transformational experiences a person can have. Without a doubt, my 10 years living abroad made me more confident, more self-assured, and ultimately more educated about the world and the people in it.

It also informed a lot of the philosophy that I've written about over the past 10 years—the counterintuitive approach that so many people have come to love.

This episode dives into the key takeaways I got from my years of traveling. I can’t be sure, but I think they might inspire you as much as they have me. Enjoy.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction
• 00:01:42 How it all began
• 00:04:18 Lesson #1: Everything is a trade-off
• 00:08:48 Lesson #2: Happiness is cheap, dignity is expensive
• 00:16:52 Lesson #3: Solo travel is great for personal development
• 00:22:07 Lesson #4: Most people are good
• 00:28:27 Lesson #5: Some cultures produce better outcomes than others
• 00:36:32 Mark’s travel tips

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People are becoming increasingly lonely and are unable to relate to one another. Yet we have more access to more people than ever before. What's going on? Is it technology? Is social media replacing our sense of community with the empty calories of the sweet, sweet For You feed? Or maybe it’s the deterioration of the nuclear family — fewer kids are being born and being raised by fewer parents. Or is it the lack of religion in public life? Or the geographic exodus from small towns and communities towards big anonymous cities? Or the economic inequality and complete loss of work/life balance? These are questions that I, and renowned journalist and author David Brooks, unpack together as we nose dive into the social and emotional disconnect of millions of people.Need lessons on how to talk to the barista making your coffee? Looking to build a better relationship with Gary from across the fence? This episode won’t make you a master of communication overnight, but it’s a fascinating conversation packed with useful insight from beginning to end.Listen to it.

David Brooks on Twitter @nytdavidbrooks: https://twitter.com/nytdavidbrooksDavid Brooks’ column: https://www.nytimes.com/column/david-brooksDavid's new book “How to Know a Person:” https://www.amazon.com/How-Know-Person-Seeing-Others/dp/059323006X

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction
• 00:02:46 Why we’re in a social crisis
• 00:05:55 The harsh judgment of social media
• 00:08:06 The growth of distrust
• 00:10:57 The decline of the traditional family
• 00:15:14 On communitarian cultures
• 00:16:24 Making America more “relationalist”
• 00:18:19 The Scandinavian and Israeli success
• 00:20:33 Is this success replicable in a diverse society?
• 00:23:32 The vice of today’s generation
• 00:29:19 David’s take on politics
• 00:32:11 Mark on the evolution of self-help
• 00:33:57 The recession of religion
• 00:38:33 Friction is the point
• 00:39:46 The “second mountain”
• 00:46:42 What we’re really motivated by
• 00:49:55 Can we go straight to the “second mountain”?

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It’s 2024 and hopefully you haven’t already given up on your goals for the year.

Today, we’re going to talk about the best and worst ways to set goals. We’ll talk about the factors that make you more likely to achieve your goals, why you lose motivation by week three, and the most common error everyone makes when deciding to change themselves for the better. We’ll also be sharing some of our personal goal disasters along the way to learn what not to do.

We’d also like you to share your goals with us! Details on how to do that are here.

Happy New Year.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 | Introduction
• 00:01:07 | Mistake #1: Aiming too high
• 00:03:01 | Mistake #2: Doing everything at once
• 00:09:29 | Mistake #3: Neglecting systems
• 00:13:26 | Mistake #4: Not making it fun
• 00:16:19 | Mistake #5: Making it too easy
• 00:17:13 | Mistake #6: Doing it for others
• 00:25:12 | Extrinsic vs intrinsic motivation in goal setting
• 00:30:18 | Mark’s 2024 goal
• 00:34:43 | Drew’s 2024 goal
• 00:41:32 | Your 2024 goals

⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠

⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠

FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠
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LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠
YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

It’s easy to assume that the hustle culture or “the grind” is all about pain and suffering. But as you’ll learn today, this simply isn’t true.

In today’s episode, I’m talking to Ali Abdaal, a former medical doctor turned YouTuber and author of the new book, Feel-Good Productivity. Ali has attracted millions of global followers to his ideas on productivity and working because he’s managed to do what others have not: actually make it fun. It turns out that finding ways to make your work fun doesn’t just make you hate your life less, it actually makes you more productive.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 | Introduction
• 00:03:38 | Our biggest misconception about productivity
• 00:05:38 | Emotions and productivity
• 00:08:47 | Mark’s epiphany on book writing
• 00:10:12 | Compounding returns on productivity
• 00:12:09 | Should we have zero distractions?
• 00:14:38 | Skills behind Ali’s success as a doctor and YouTuber
• 00:18:12 | What happens when you stop having fun
• 00:19:15 | “It’s all creative work”
• 00:22:26 | Making fitness fun
• 00:27:07 | The two types of productivity advice
• 00:32:55 | Can work-life balance get you to success?
• 00:35:27 | How to “feel good” in productivity
• 00:39:21 | The problem with caring too much what others think
• 00:42:52 | Experimentation as Ali’s way of life

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FOLLOW MARK
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Do you worry that you might be wasting your life? That you’re doing things that don’t feel important? Are you constantly anxious about your to-do list?

Is your mind blown that it’s 2024 already?!?

This week, I’ve enlisted the help of my friend Oliver Burkeman, author of the bestseller Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, to help us get a handle on using time wisely.

In this episode, we’re going to look at how our perception of time shapes our self-image, how it’s often advantageous to choose to be bad at something, why people-pleasing doesn’t actually please people, and a whole lot more.

Oliver Burkeman is a renowned journalist and author, known for his unique ability to seamlessly blend philosophy and psychology to bring a fresh and counterintuitive take to classic self-help subjects.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 | Introduction
• 00:03:22 | Our relationship with time
• 00:05:49 | A better way of looking at time
• 00:07:32 | “Strategic underachievement”
• 00:11:16 | How to stop people-pleasing
• 00:14:58 | Being a net positive at social events
• 00:18:45 | “Don’t try to change the world”
• 00:21:01 | Our toxic relationship with time and the art of “being present”
• 00:30:41 | “Effortless action”
• 00:32:53 | Buddhist influences on Oliver’s work
• 00:37:51 | Our primary misconception about time management
• 00:39:01 | Oliver’s final word of wisdom

⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨

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Some of the most important truths in life are found in paradoxes. Paradoxes seem like opposites on the surface, but once you look deeper beneath what are seeming contradictions, there are real grains of wisdom that emerge.

In this episode, I cover some of the most life-changing paradoxes I’ve ever come across, and discuss how they can improve how you approach your life.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 | Introduction
• 00:00:49 | Paradox #1: The more choices you have, the less happy you will be
• 00:07:25 | Paradox #2: Hard choices, easy life
• 00:11:45 | Paradox #3: What you hate in others, you’re avoiding in yourself
• 00:17:35 | Paradox #4: The more afraid you are of failing, the more likely you are to fail
• 00:21:48 | Paradox #5: The more something makes you uncomfortable, the more you should do it
• 00:26:15 | Paradox #6: The more connected we get, the more isolated we feel
• 00:31:10 | Paradox #7: The more afraid you are of death, the less you will enjoy life

⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠

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In 2021, Matt from Yes Theory, one of YouTube's biggest channels, revealed he was quitting the platform.Despite being an internet celebrity, Matt's story is a common one—about someone who gave away too much of themselves to be liked by others, and now desperately trying to get themselves back. In this episode, Matt and I unpack this familiar dilemma, as well as covering topics like codependence, managing success, dealing with parasocial relationships, determining when vulnerability goes too far, and much more.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction
• 00:01:59 Why Matt’s giving up his dream
• 00:09:00 The challenges fame brings
• 00:14:14 How to mature in the spotlight
• 00:17:45 The incredible story of Yes Theory
• 00:21:53 Losing boundaries in the world of fame
• 00:26:54 Performing, not living
• 00:27:58 How much of yourself to share as a creator
• 00:35:44 Matt’s top tip for being a creator
• 00:37:29 Intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation in creative work
• 00:43:52 Matt’s biggest takeaway from his career
• 00:48:06 How Matt went from hating to loving his book
• 00:51:56 What makes the Yes Theory team work
• 00:53:54 What’s next for Matt
• 00:57:28 Fuck, Marry, Kill

⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠

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FOLLOW MARK

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YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

A comprehensive list of lessons you shouldn’t wait too long to learn.

In this episode, I’m sharing 7 important lessons I learned far too late in life. I’m doing this so that you don’t have to live through as many clusterfucks as I did to find a bit of peace in life.

Some of these lessons you may already know, some may surprise you. But they’re all guaranteed to help you live a better life.

This is your one and only chance to not repeat my godawful mistakes. So get into it.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction
• 00:00:36 Lesson #1: People respect you only as much as you respect yourself
• 00:06:02 Lesson #2: You give power to those you blame
• 00:10:40 Lesson #3: The quality of your relationships dictates the quality of your life
• 00:17:31 Lesson #4: People aren't thinking about you as much as you think they are
• 00:23:39 Lesson #5: Nothing meaningful in life is easy
• 00:28:38 Lesson #6: Love occurs in proportion to your willingness to get hurt
• 00:34:36 Lesson #7: Be slow to judge. Everyone is doing their best

⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠

⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨

FOLLOW MARK
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YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Do I exist if I’m not on social media? Can I fake it till I make it? What’s the secret to a good life?

In this week’s episode, I enlist my old friend and host of the wildly popular The Psychology Podcast, Scott Barry Kaufman, PhD. to dissect our psyche in the social media age.

Reflecting on his personal experience and drawing on a wealth of psychological research, Scott asks—and answers—questions that might reveal aspects of yourself you never knew were there, and set you on the path to a better life.

We’re going to dive deep and get existential. We’re going to talk neurodiversity, vulnerability, and Batman. What more can you ask for?

Exactly. Go get it.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction: From Special Ed to the Top 0.05%
• 00:02:22 Breaking Out: The Teacher Who Changed Everything
• 00:05:36 The Problem With Standardized Testing and IQ
• 00:07:54 Neurodivergence: When a Term Loses Its Meaning
• 00:10:12 The Identity Crisis Generation
• 00:13:43 Confident Vulnerability vs. Lowercase vulnerability
• 00:18:57 Social Media and the Anxious Generation
• 00:20:56 Do You Exist Without a Social Media Presence?
• 00:24:10 The Legibility Problem: When Status Games Go Public
• 00:27:16 Scott's Twitter Break and Living Without the Algorithm
• 00:28:46 Mastery Goals vs. Performance Goals
• 00:31:58 When Psychological Concepts Get Watered Down
• 00:34:37 Healthy Authenticity: Four Components That Matter
• 00:36:13 Fake It Till You Make It: Does It Actually Work?
• 00:39:18 Behavioral Activation: Act First, Think Later
• 00:44:28 Just Get in the Arena
• 00:46:56 The Victimhood Mentality Across All Groups
• 00:50:28 The Self-Help Industry's Dirty Secret
• 00:51:49 Fuck, Marry, Kill: Psychology Edition
• 00:55:25 The Truth About Therapy Effectiveness

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FOLLOW MARK
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