That's Where I'm At

In this empowering episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura sits down with Heidi Bee, the Divorce Comeback Coach, to explore the emotional journey of rebuilding life after divorce.

Heidi Bee is a certified and trauma-informed divorce coach and somatic breathwork facilitator. Through her 3-month Comeback Course & Coaching Community, she helps women navigate their "new normal" by providing the roadmap, resources, and relationships needed to move forward with confidence. She's also the host of the Divorce Comeback Coach podcast, where she shares truth-telling conversations and practical guidance to help women take their next best step toward the life they deserve and desire.

In this heartfelt conversation, Laura and Heidi open up about:

• The feelings of isolation, grief, and identity loss that often follow divorce — especially after long-term or toxic relationships.
• The importance of self-care, setting healthy boundaries, and rebuilding community during recovery.
• How embracing vulnerability and self-compassion can lead to powerful transformation and growth.

Together, they remind listeners that while the road to healing may be difficult, it is also filled with opportunities for renewal, empowerment, and rediscovery of one's true self.

Key Topics & Timestamps

Heidi's Divorce Story and the "Divorce Ditch" (00:03:06) Heidi shares her personal experience of feeling lost and stuck after divorce, describing it as the "divorce ditch."

Coping Mechanisms and Avoidance (00:06:41) Heidi describes unhealthy coping mechanisms she used to avoid pain, such as overworking and numbing behaviors.

Shame, Stigma, and the Need for Conversation (00:08:28) Exploring the shame and societal stigma around divorce, and the importance of open conversations.

Coaching, Dreaming, and Finding Your Voice (00:17:28) Laura and Heidi discuss the role of coaching in helping women dream again and reclaim their voices.

Relationship with Uncertainty and Healing (00:25:45) Learning to manage uncertainty, calm the nervous system, and develop new tools for emotional regulation.

Attracting Healthy Relationships Through Self-Love (00:31:37) Heidi shares how self-love and authenticity attract healthier relationships, both romantic and platonic.

Protecting Emotional Energy and Reclaiming Space (00:40:48) Heidi emphasizes protecting your emotional landscape and reclaiming energy from unhealthy attachments.

Making a "Shit List" and Tracking Emotional Impact (00:44:52) Using a list to remember the negative impacts of an ex and tracking emotional responses to avoid repeating pain.

Heidi, 'I didn't want to admit I was depressed, but I was grieving and resisting it.'

Heidi, 'I woke up one day thinking, I don't even know who I am anymore.'

Laura, 'You deserve to trust your gut again. Spoiler alert: you were never the problem.'

Laura, 'I started my podcast and realized no one ever let me talk.'

Heidi, 'Recovery is self-discovery, and I forgot to continue to decide who I was going to be.'

Heidi, 'It's more about trusting yourself, trusting that no matter what happens, you can handle it.'

Heidi, 'I want people to know you don't have to be afraid of not knowing who you are. All that is, is uncertainty.'

Heidi, 'The more I let go of things that no longer serve me, the more I have space to receive what is.'

• COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
• SELF WORTH RESET MINI COURSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/minicourse
• YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE
• MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE
• FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com

• WEBSITE: https://divorcecomebackcoach.com/
• INSTAGRAM: @DivorceComebackCoach
• TIK TOK: @DivorceComebackCoach
• Freebies & More: https://linktr.ee/DivorceComebackCoach
• Divorce Comeback Coach Podcast - Spotify / Apple

"The more you let go of what's gone, the more space you create for what's meant for you."

Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com

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In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura sits down with Kate, a nurse of more than 20 years and a personal development coach, to talk about sobriety, self-worth, and healing after narcissistic relationships. Together, they explore how alcohol, food, and limiting beliefs can leave women vulnerable to toxic dynamics—and how breaking free requires courage, boundaries, and a new story.

Kate shares her personal journey of getting sober, healing from toxic relationships, and reclaiming her power through coaching and self-discovery. With a focus on mental health and sobriety in her nursing career, Kate now runs a private practice helping women move past numbing behaviors and self-defeating patterns so they can step into their divine purpose.

This heartfelt conversation offers practical strategies, hope, and encouragement for women ready to rewrite their narratives, reclaim their worth, and create healthier, more authentic lives.

Key Topics & Timestamps

Alcohol, Vulnerability, and Narcissistic Relationships (00:03:14) Kate explains how heavy drinking made her vulnerable to narcissistic partners and losing her sense of self.

Drinking's Impact on Women (00:06:33) Discussion on how alcohol affects women differently and the societal normalization of drinking.

Boundaries and Coaching Women (00:14:42) The importance of boundaries, self-sabotage, and how Kate coaches women to recognize and address these issues.

Gaslighting and Reclaiming Sanity (00:19:44) Laura and Kate discuss gaslighting in narcissistic relationships and the importance of trusting your gut.

Losing and Gaining Friends in Sobriety (00:28:48) Kate and Laura talk about losing old friends and gaining more authentic connections after getting sober.

Love Bombing, Alcohol, and the Nervous System (00:37:19) How love bombing and alcohol both create emotional highs and lows, destabilizing women in toxic relationships.

Coaching vs. Therapy: The House Painting Analogy (00:41:51) Kate explains the difference between coaching and therapy, using the analogy of missing a spot while painting.

Kate's Coaching Practice (00:49:33) Kate describes her coaching services, approach, and how women can work with her for personal development and sobriety.

"Nobody plans on being an alcoholic; it's a very insidious drug that creeps up on us." - Kate

"Give yourself permission to question your relationships when you get sober." - Kate

"Alcohol only fuels your anxiety, and your superpower is getting really clear." - Kate

"Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated." - Kate

"A lot of healing has to do with just discovering our own power through sobriety." - Kate

• COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
• SELF WORTH RESET MINI COURSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/minicourse
• YOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HERE
• MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE
• FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com

• https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program
• https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61577139306055
• https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/
• https://www.tiktok.com/@rewired.sober
• https://www.youtube.com/@rewiredsober
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-vitela-carn-nc-bc-a9240721/

Sobriety is where self-worth begins, and healing truly takes root.

Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com

Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of That's Where I'm At, Laura and guest Allison K. Dagney share their experiences of healing after covert narcissistic relationships. They explore the challenges of recognizing emotional abuse, navigating divorce, and rebuilding self-worth through therapy, journaling, and supportive communities. Together, they offer hope and practical tools for women on their own healing journeys.

Allison is a best-selling memoirist and emotional abuse recovery coach who helps women rise above toxic cycles and reclaim their strength. After nearly 20 years in a covertly abusive marriage, she transformed her trauma into triumph, later sharing her journey in her books When Tears Leave Scars and Radiate and Rise.

Key Topics & Timestamps

Laura's Divorce & Realization (00:04:08) Laura recounts her divorce, discovering her ex's infidelity, and the clarity that followed about narcissistic abuse.

Leaving a Narcissist: Planning & Survival (00:12:29) They discuss the importance of secret planning, survival mode, and the challenges of leaving an abusive relationship.

Financial Abuse & Legal Strategies (00:20:56) Alison explains legal strategies like "status quo" to maintain financial stability during divorce.

Finding Peace & Adjusting to Freedom (00:28:06) They discuss the unfamiliar feeling of peace and freedom after leaving an abusive relationship.

Writing & Healing: Books and Podcasts (00:33:10) Laura describes her book's structure, the non-linear nature of healing, and the importance of sharing personal stories.

Identity Loss & Rediscovery (00:40:23) They explore how abusive relationships cause loss of identity and the process of rediscovering personal interests.

Quality Over Quantity in Relationships (00:58:11) They reflect on the value of having a smaller, higher-quality support network after leaving abuse.

"I didn't know the depths of hell that a narcissist can do to you." - Alison

"I had to choose me. I'd never chosen me, so I had to choose me.' - Laura

"I cried because I was good at something I was never allowed to try, and someone was saying something nice to me." - Laura

"I totally did not know what self-love was or how to love myself." - Alison

"You have to take the first step, even if you don't see the whole staircase." - Laura

"The key to me is boundaries, but you're not going to get there without self-love." - Laura

"I am changing in a very good way, but that causes people to walk themselves right out of my life. I don't need those kinds of people anymore." - Alison

"People are out there. Your tribe is out there. Unfortunately, you have to let go of the rest to find them." - Laura

• COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
• YOU'RE NOT CRAZY, RECLAIMING YOUR SANITY AND SELF-WORTH AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE ebook: GET IT HERE
• MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE
• FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com
• PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/

• WEBSITE: www.radiatenrise.com
• BOOKS: www.allisonkdagney.com

Your past may shape you, but it does not define your future.

Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com

Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura welcomes Dr. Tina, a holistic brain health practitioner and survivor-turned-guide specializing in recovery from narcissistic abuse. Dr. Tina received her Ph.D. in Neuroscience from the University of Rochester and completed postdoctoral fellowships in psychiatric and nutritional epidemiology at Johns Hopkins and Tufts University. Drawing on both neuroscience and medical intuition, she helps sensitive souls address root causes beyond relationships, surroundings, or symptoms.

Together, Laura and Dr. Tina discuss the challenges of toxic relationships, the importance of boundaries, and the path toward self-love. Dr. Tina shares her personal journey of once feeling like a magnet for toxic people, the strategies she developed to reclaim her power, and how those discoveries shaped her 7-Step UPLIFTS Program—a powerful framework to help clients heal from narcissistic abuse and learn to love again.

Throughout the conversation, she offers practical tools such as somatic practices, mindfulness, and energy protection techniques, while Laura reflects on her own healing journey and advocates for women to share their stories. Known as a dynamic speaker who inspires hope in those navigating chronic health challenges and toxic relationships, Dr. Tina brings wisdom, compassion, and encouragement to anyone ready to reclaim their voice and their power.

Key Topics & Timestamps

Dr. Tina's Personal Journey & Becoming a Practitioner (00:02:33) Dr. Tina shares her experiences with toxic people and how it led her to specialize in this field.

Understanding Boundaries and People-Pleasing (00:03:52) Discussion about the importance of boundaries, people-pleasing, and how these patterns attract toxic individuals.

Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Trauma Release (00:07:14) The role of trauma responses and subconscious work in healing from abuse.

Gray Rock Method & Emotional Detachment (00:10:16) Explanation of the gray rock method and its effectiveness in dealing with narcissists.

Self-Love and Healing Journey (00:13:35) The importance of self-love, inner work, and the ripple effects of personal healing.

Who Should Seek Dr. Tina's Help (00:39:28) Description of ideal clients and readiness for healing or relationship change.

"Never too late. Why not live the life you want, right?"

"People with a lot of trauma can have very, very thick heart walls. I had a lot."

"I grew up with narcissists and then I had a narcissist that destroyed my career."

"I like that idea of celebrating your personal best because I think that's so important. It really makes me happy to think about where I was and now where I am."

"I like to tell people, don't try hard. Try easy. Releasing subconscious barriers is the easiest and fastest way to get to where you want to go."

• COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
• YOU'RE NOT CRAZY, RECLAIMING YOUR SANITY AND SELF-WORTH AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE ebook: GET IT HERE
• MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE
• FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com
• PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/

• https://tryholisticbrainhealth.com
• https://www.facebook.com/tryHolisticBrainHealth
• https://www.facebook.com/tina.huang.353
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/tinalhuangphd
• www.youtube.com/@TinaHuangPhD
• 5 Powerful Strategies to Quickly Get Grounded: https://tryholisticbrainhealth.com/grounded-and-safe/
• Listeners might find this useful: https://tryholisticbrainhealth.com/how-to-deal-with-bullies-trolls-and-haters/

Boundaries aren't walls—they're bridges back to yourself.

Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com

Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura and her guest, Gabi Garland—her podcast producer and close friend—discuss Laura's healing journey after divorcing a narcissistic ex-husband. They explore the challenges of setting boundaries, overcoming shame, and breaking generational cycles of trauma. Laura shares how creating the podcast has empowered her and built a supportive community for survivors. The conversation highlights the importance of vulnerability, self-love, and storytelling in healing, offering hope and practical advice to listeners navigating their own paths to recovery and self-discovery.

Key Topics & Timestamps

Celebrating Two Years & Laura's Transformation (00:01:56) Producer reflects on Laura's growth from fearful to empowered over the past three years.

The Impact of Abuse on Self-Belief (00:09:53) How abuse rewires beliefs and the importance of doing deep inner work.

Support Systems & Newfound Family (00:11:58) The importance of supportive friends and chosen family during healing.

Celebrating Successes & Achievements (00:17:05) Laura's milestones: media appearances, bestselling books, and learning to celebrate herself.

Podcast Growth & External Recognition (00:22:58) Reaching top podcast rankings, media invitations, and the impact of authenticity.

Accountability & Choosing to Heal (00:53:07) Encouragement to seek therapy, question inherited identities, and choose change.

Generational Healing & Family Reconciliation (01:04:46) Changing generational patterns, healing with her children, and doing it for future generations.

The Power of Telling Your Story (01:16:26) Encouragement to share your story, as it may be the key to someone else's healing.

The Worth of the Healing Journey (01:19:00) Reflecting on the value of the healing process and excitement for the future.

"If it feels hard, that doesn't mean it's wrong. The wrong people are leaving, and there's room for the right ones."

"Gaslighting isn't just a buzzword—it's the sick, spiraling feeling when they say, 'You're too sensitive.'"

"You're never going to get to boundaries if you don't love yourself."

"The only person we're protecting when we stay silent is the abuser."

"There's a woman who was me three years ago—if I don't tell my story, she's going to die."

"It's never too late. Please hear this—you can change."

• COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
• YOU'RE NOT CRAZY, RECLAIMING YOUR SANITY AND SELF-WORTH AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE ebook: GET IT HERE
• MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE
• FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com
• PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/

• WEBSITE: https://www.resilientvoicemedia.com/
• INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/gabi.garland
• FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/gabrielle.anaya.5?mibextid=LQQJ4d
• TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@gabi.garland?_t=8qZEJ4HMlmY&_r=1

The moment I broke my silence, I found my strength.

Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com

Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura interviews Michal Spiegelman, a certified professional life coach, Reiki master, spiritual mentor, medical intuitive, and social worker, about healing from abuse and trauma, especially for women. Michal shares her journey from social work to holistic healing after her own trauma, emphasizing that true recovery involves body, soul, and spiritual work—not just talk therapy. The conversation explores practical tools like soul journaling and guided visualization, the importance of self-worth, and setting boundaries. Listeners are encouraged to seek holistic healing approaches and connect deeply with their inner selves for lasting transformation. Michal is the author of 'Becoming Soulful: Six Keys for Profound Transformation in Your Therapy, Coaching, or Healing Practice,' and is passionate about elevating consciousness in the world, one soul at a time. She empowers women and healing professionals alike to become soulful and shine in their personal and professional lives.

Key Topics & Timestamps

The Limits of Talk Therapy (00:03:17)Michal discusses the limitations of traditional therapy and the importance of integrating body and soul work.

The Role of the Soul in Healing (00:05:05)Michal explains the importance of connecting with one's soul for deep, sustainable healing and guidance.

Soul Journaling and Practical Practices (00:11:50)Michal describes practical exercises for connecting with the soul, such as soul journaling and intentional rituals.

Patterns from Past Trauma (00:14:10)Laura and Michal discuss how childhood patterns and beliefs influence current relationships and healing.

Kindness vs. Tolerating Abuse (00:14:34)Michal highlights the common confusion between being kind and tolerating abuse, especially among spiritual women.

Self-Love and Breaking Patterns (00:18:50)Laura and Michal discuss the necessity of self-love and worthiness to break cycles of abuse and attract healthier relationships.

Not All Healing Means Divorce (00:21:50)Michal notes that not all clients end up divorcing; some transform their relationships through inner work.

Laura, 00:18:50, 'The biggest thing for me was learning how to love myself and that I had value.'

Michal, 00:19:01, 'Until you feel that you're worthy and until you really learn to love yourself, that's why many women attract relationship after relationship with abuse.'

Laura, 00:20:58, 'I have value, I have worth, and he was unwilling to participate in our life.'

Michal, 00:22:01, 'If we get a divorce and we don't do the inner work, then we just bring the same patterns into the next relationship.'

Michal, 00:22:51, 'To know and to remember that the trauma is stored in the body.'

• COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
• YOU'RE NOT CRAZY, RECLAIMING YOUR SANITY AND SELF-WORTH AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE ebook: GET IT HERE
• MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE
• FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com
• PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/

• WEBSITE: https://www.beaconsofchange.com/
• GET HER BOOK: https://a.co/d/hjWAur2

Healing begins when you remember your worth.

Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com

Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura sits down with Marla Bollak, an Interpersonal Relationship Coach and Certified Sacred Depths Coach trained in NLP, neuro-coaching, and trauma. Marla's mission is to empower professionals to clear blocks from within themselves and from toxic relationships in the workplace or family. Her holistic approach integrates the body, mind, emotions, and energetics. She specializes in working with highly functioning, successful professionals who have read all the books, attended all the seminars, tried all the things — with some success — yet the problem remains.

Together, Laura and Marla explore:

• Healing from narcissistic abuse and how childhood trauma affects adult relationships
• How trauma responses like fawning develop and why nervous system regulation is essential
• The power of an empathetic witness in healing
• How healing shifts your energy, helping you break free from toxic cycles
• The role of vulnerability and compassion in long-term growth and recovery

Whether you're on the path to healing or supporting someone who is, this episode offers practical tools, hope, and encouragement.

Key Topics & Timestamps

Marla's Background and Healing Journey (00:02:58) Marla shares her childhood experiences, her healing journey, and her motivation for coaching others.

Why People Don't Intervene (00:08:28) Marla and Laura discuss conflict avoidance, enablers, and the challenges of getting support from others.

Clients' Experiences and Trauma Responses (00:09:24) Marla describes common issues clients face, trauma responses like fawning, and the importance of nervous system regulation.

The Role of the Empathetic Witness (00:12:31) Marla explains the importance of having an empathetic witness in healing and how memories can be changed.

Growth Through Healing and No Longer Attracting Bullies (00:15:49) Marla and Laura talk about using adversity for growth and how healing changes their reactions to toxic people.

Energetics and No Longer Attracting Abuse (00:17:06) Marla explains how energetic shifts mean toxic people no longer affect or are attracted to you.

Triggers, Healing with Family, and Vulnerability (00:17:59) Laura shares about being triggered, healing with her children, and the importance of vulnerability in family healing.

Excuses vs. Reasons for Trauma Responses (00:19:09) Marla reframes "excuses" as reasons for trauma responses, encouraging self-compassion.

Powerful Quotes from the Episode

Laura, 00:00:34, 'Keeping secrets will make you sick, and they always come to light in the end.'

Marla, 00:04:07, 'Don't give up on yourself.'

Laura, 00:07:17, 'I spent 33 years with someone who made me feel like I was the problem every time, no matter what.'

Laura, 00:07:17, 'You deserve to trust your gut again. You deserve to trust you.'

Marla, 00:06:20, 'People would see me being abused in full daylight and nobody stood up for me. They acted like it was normal.'

Laura, 00:12:13, 'What I found was that I wasn't being loved the way I needed to be loved.'

Laura, 00:19:02, 'We've had a lot of good healing and it's taken a lot of vulnerability to get there.'

• YOU'RE NOT CRAZY, RECLAIMING YOUR SANITY AND SELF-WORTH AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE ebook: GET IT HERE
• MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE
• FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com
• PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/
• COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura

Website: https://marlabollak.com/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marla/

Healing takes vulnerability — but it leads to deeper connection.

Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com

Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura and guest Dr. Jill Rosenthal, an award-winning Harvard and Stanford educated physician who retired after a 35+ year career and became certified as a wellness and mindset coach, share their personal journeys through trauma, loss, and healing. Dr. Rosenthal's extensive experience and training, coupled with her own transformation from a stressed, overworked, unhealthy physician, wife, and mother into a happy, healthy, thriving coach, make her uniquely equipped to help others release unconscious thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that hold them back, so they can create their dream life. Together, Laura and Dr. Rosenthal discuss the impact of emotional and psychological abuse, the challenges of rebuilding self-worth, and the importance of processing difficult emotions. Through candid conversation, they highlight the power of storytelling, community, and self-compassion in overcoming adversity and reclaiming one's life after trauma.

Introduction & Coping Mechanisms (00:00:00) Discussion on comfort habits, dopamine hits, and how people push away uncomfortable feelings.

Podcast Introduction & Guest Bio (00:00:40) Laura introduces the podcast, shares her mission, and presents Dr. Jill Rosenthal's background and transformation.

Dr. Jill's Personal Journey (00:02:16) Dr. Jill summarizes her life challenges, including loss, illness, and her shift from medicine to coaching.

Impact of Trauma & Feeling Stuck (00:03:30) Exploring how trauma, stress, and feeling stuck affect decision-making and self-worth.

Coping with Trauma & Childhood Programming (00:05:41) Discussion on trauma responses, childhood experiences, and how they shape adult coping mechanisms.

Effects of Emotional Abuse & Decision Paralysis (00:06:45) Laura and Dr. Jill discuss the impact of long-term emotional abuse on the ability to make decisions.

Gaslighting & Narcissistic Abuse (00:09:09) Laura explains gaslighting, shares her experience, and introduces her book on healing from narcissistic abuse.

Overcoming Conditioning & Taking Action (00:10:22) Dr. Jill describes the process of relearning decision-making and removing internal barriers to action.

Overwhelm & Temporary Distractions (00:11:37) Conversation about overwhelm, avoidance behaviors, and why people turn to distractions for comfort.

Pushing Away Feelings & the Bop Clown Analogy (00:12:20) Dr. Jill uses the bop clown metaphor to explain how suppressed feelings resurface and the importance of feeling them.

Healing After Abuse & Setting Boundaries (00:14:23) Discussion on the necessity of healing emotional wounds, developing self-worth, and setting healthy boundaries.

Patterns in Second Relationships (00:17:25) Exploring why unresolved trauma can affect new relationships and the importance of inner work before moving on.

Feeling Safe After Abuse (00:18:54) The difference between rational understanding and truly feeling safe in new relationships.

Conclusion & Resources (00:19:27) Closing remarks, Dr. Jill's website and free gift, encouragement to connect, and final thoughts on healing and community.

Laura, 00:00:40, "I believe keeping secrets will make you sick, and that they always come to light in the end. As women, we're often told to be quiet, don't share your story, don't talk about the things we go through. It's making women sick, sad, and suicidal. We don't have to be on the other side to share our story."

Dr. Jill Rosenthal, 00:02:29, "I went through a two and a half year period where I lost both my parents, managed their care from two to three thousand miles away, had foot reconstruction, my husband went into assisted living and now memory care for Alzheimer's disease, and I had breast cancer—surgery, radiation, chemotherapy. There was so much that would make your average person just run screaming from the room. But Jill 2.0 is thriving and happy despite all of the stuff that's going on. There's still stuff going on—my husband is in memory care and doesn't know who I am the last couple of weeks. I'm getting called every other day because he's hitting, kicking, and punching the staff. So I have things to deal with, but it doesn't have to take me down."

Dr. Jill Rosenthal, 00:03:30, "My treatment for my cancer eventually led to a disability retirement from my 35-year medical practice. It was sad, because I loved my patients, I adored my team, I loved what I did, and it was probably killing me with stress. We're so used to taking that—the stress accumulates. We're like the frog in boiling water. Although I was not in a marriage of abuse, my first husband wasn't great to me emotionally, but not like what a lot of people are dealing with. I get what happens when you feel like you have no choices, when you feel stuck in a situation and you can't get out, and when it impacts and changes your thoughts and feelings. You just sort of go, 'Oh, woe is me.' I get that."

Laura, 00:05:41, "I remember towards the end, when you're in psychological and emotional abuse, your brain—I just remember my brain was mush. It had been 33 years. My brain was mush. I couldn't make any choices because, exactly, every choice was wrong. So I did feel stuck in a lot of ways, even just making simple decisions. I remember even after leaving my marriage, talking to my therapist and her saying, 'Just say yes to some good things and see if you like them.' Because I'm like, 'I don't know.' I call myself Laura 2.0. I think it's great, but it's so true. We're not dead, so we're not done. There's still time to do what you want to do. But I just remember going, 'I don't know what's next.'"

Laura, 00:09:09, "I spent 33 years with someone who made me feel like I was the problem for everything that was wrong in our lives."

Laura, 00:12:14, "I need sunshine. I am a houseplant. I need oxygen and sunshine and some water."

Dr. Jill Rosenthal, 00:15:49, "Unless you heal this, you're still carrying it around. It's on your shoulders, it's in big, heavy suitcases—the old ones, not the ones with the spinner wheels that you just kind of roll. Unless you heal it, it's still there, and it's still talking to you, and you're still feeling it. So you take it everywhere you go."

Dr. Jill Rosenthal, 00:16:44, "If you've been in a relationship where somebody has really beaten you down like that, you have to heal the damage that's been done to your psyche, and you have to heal that feeling of self-worth. You have to learn to get better boundaries, but you have to be able to do it in a way that is constructive."

Laura, 00:20:53, "I have a heart for helping women because I felt so alone after my divorce, and I don't want anybody to feel that way."

Laura, 00:21:02, "This is why we do these things, right? We didn't want anybody else to feel the way that we did."

• YOU'RE NOT CRAZY, RECLAIMING YOUR SANITY AND SELF-WORTH AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE ebook: GET IT HERE
• MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE
• FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com
• PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/
• COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura

• WEBSITE: https://drjillrosenthal.com
• INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/drjillx/
• FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/jill.rosenthal.75
• GIFT FOR YOU: https://drjillgift.com/recovery

What are Two Things you could do to improve your relationships? Perhaps you've heard the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. You see, your mind doesn't know the difference between past, present, and future. Changing how you think and feel about emotionally stressful times in your life can shift everything! Dawn works to help people find and maintain their ideal relationships. Dawn has Board Designations for Hypnosis & NLP Training & Coaching. She also is an Accredited Certified EFT Practitioner and EFT Relationship and Intimacy Coach.

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura and guest Dawn, a relationship and intimacy coach, discuss healing from past relationship trauma. They explore the impact of past experiences on self-worth, the importance of sharing stories, and practical healing methods like EFT and hypnosis. Dawn shares insights on recognizing unconscious beliefs and setting healthy boundaries, while Laura reflects on her own healing journey. Together, they encourage listeners to prioritize self-care, seek supportive connections, and embrace personal growth on the path to healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Transition from Massage Therapy to Emotional Healing (00:02:25) Dawn describes her journey from massage therapy to emotional release and mind-body healing techniques.

The Body's Response to Stress and Trauma (00:03:15) Discussion on how the brain and body hold onto stress and trauma, affecting physical and emotional health.

Unconscious Mind and Relationship Patterns (00:04:26) Dawn explains the unconscious mind's role in shaping relationship behaviors and reactions.

Clearing Emotional Blocks and Beliefs (00:05:27) Dawn details how she uses tapping, hypnosis, and other techniques to clear limiting beliefs and emotional blocks.

Adjusting to Healthy Relationships After Toxic Ones (00:06:17) Conversation about how healthy relationships can feel "boring" after chaos, and how to identify and accept positive traits.

Self-Worth, Value, and Gaslighting (00:08:49) Laura discusses the impact of gaslighting and the importance of reclaiming self-worth after narcissistic abuse.

Personal Story of Lost Self-Worth (00:10:08) Dawn shares her experience of losing self-worth in an abusive relationship and the journey to regain her power.

Unpacking Childhood Beliefs and Patterns (00:12:45) Dawn explains how early childhood experiences shape beliefs and how hypnotherapy can gently address these patterns.

Setting Goals and Somatic Therapies (00:14:43) Dawn emphasizes individualized healing journeys, the value of somatic therapies, and creating permanent change.

Overcoming Fear of Being Alone (00:16:38) Discussion on helping clients who fear being alone, and how to find safety and self-worth outside of relationships.

Recognizing Red Flags and Elevated Self-Value (00:18:32) Laura and Dawn discuss how self-work makes it easier to spot red flags and walk away from unhealthy relationships.

Letting Go for Healthier Relationships (00:19:01) Dawn explains the importance of releasing relationships that aren't right for both parties' growth.

• YOU'RE NOT CRAZY, RECLAIMING YOUR SANITY AND SELF-WORTH AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE ebook: GET IT HERE
• MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE
• FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com
• PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/
• COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura

LINKS: https://linktr.ee/unifiedmind

WEBSITE: https://UnifiedMind.info

TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@relationshipmechanics

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/therelationshipmechanic/

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/dawn.bennett.5055/

Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com

Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this powerful episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura sits down with J Lumen, a certified Life Transformation and Empowerment Coach who knows firsthand what it means to feel completely trapped in life. J's story takes a shocking turn when what started as feeling stuck in the wrong relationship and wrong job escalated to a terrifying night that ended with her ex-boyfriend's arrest for attempted murder—her attempted murder. This life-altering experience became the catalyst for J to stop tolerating her life and start truly living it. Through her "Unknown Bucket List Approach," J teaches others how to make "micro shifts" that lead to major life transformations. This conversation dives deep into overcoming the fear of judgment, recognizing the power of "mini moments," building what J calls a "force field of resilience," and learning to live without regret. J shares practical strategies for those feeling trapped by circumstances, guilt, or doubt, showing how to break free from the cycle of tolerance and step into a life worth celebrating.

J Lumen is a certified Life Transformation and Empowerment Coach who understands intimately what it means to feel trapped in the wrong life. After years of being stuck in an unfulfilling relationship where she knew she'd say no if proposed to, and a job she hated but felt financially obligated to keep, J made the difficult decision to pay for her boyfriend to move over 1000 miles away to live with his family. Two months later, he returned unexpectedly, and the night ended with his arrest for attempted murder—her attempted murder. This traumatic wake-up call became the turning point that transformed J from someone who was merely surviving to someone truly thriving. She created "The Unknown Bucket List Approach," a methodology focused on making "micro shifts" and collecting "mini moments" to create meaningful life changes. J is passionate about helping others stop tolerating their lives and start living without regret, teaching that you don't have to wait for major life upheavals to begin creating the life you want. Her philosophy centers on the belief that "if you're not dead, you're not done" and that everyone deserves to live a life they don't regret.

• From Trapped to Taking Action: Feeling stuck in the wrong relationship and wrong job, and the difficult decision to change her circumstances
• The Attempted Murder Wake-Up Call: How surviving a life-threatening situation became the catalyst for complete life transformation
• The Unknown Bucket List Approach: J's methodology for identifying overlooked achievements and leveraging them for future growth
• Micro Shifts vs. Major Overhauls: Why small, intentional changes are more sustainable and effective than waiting for big life events
• Mini Moments That Matter: Learning to recognize and celebrate small achievements that build momentum for larger goals
• Overcoming Fear of Judgment: Strategies for dealing with criticism from family, friends, and colleagues when making life changes
• Building a Force Field of Resilience: Creating strong boundaries that protect your energy and maintain your progress
• The Tolerance Trap: How society teaches us to "suck it up" and why this mindset keeps us stuck in unfulfilling lives
• Living Without Regret: The philosophy of making decisions based on what you'll regret least, not what others expect
• Collecting Your Past Wins: How to look back at your life and recognize achievements you've been dismissing as insignificant
• The Balance of Time: Living like life is both short and long—urgent enough to take action, patient enough to build sustainably
• Redefining Success: Moving from external validation to internal satisfaction and authentic self-expression
• Supporting Others vs. Self-Care: How to maintain relationships while prioritizing your own growth and boundaries

"Life happens. And it's good or bad. It's unexpected, random, unplanned... And then we have to react. And that's what shift happens."

"We don't have to wait for that shift to happen before we start living the life that we don't regret."

"If you're not dead, you're not done."

"It's just about living a life that you don't regret because it is yours. So you should live the one you want without fear or influence."

"If you are wanting to do this and also this, then you decide which one you're going to regret the least. And you do that."

"You can look back at your life and you can start seeing all the things that you've done and that you've experienced and you can basically uncover the bucket list of your life that you've been living."

"Most people would not even give themselves enough credit... But those are the little mini moments that I'm talking about."

"Once your way of thinking has been shifted, you'll never go back."

"We're taught as adults that we have to suck it up and tolerate so many things... No, so who? That's a story."

"Live like life is short and live like life is long. And it's about finding the balance in between."

Host Laura's Resources:

• YOU'RE NOT CRAZY, RECLAIMING YOUR SANITY AND SELF-WORTH AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE ebook: GET IT HERE
• MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE
• COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
• PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/

J Lumen's Resources:

• Website: The Unknown Bucket List - stop waiting and start living
• Free Life Assessment: https://resumeyourlife.com/
• LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jlumen8
• Instagram: @theunknownbucketlist
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theunknownbucketlist/
• TikTok: @theunknownbucketlist

• Follow the Podcast: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com
• Host: Laura, podcast host and author focused on healing from narcissistic abuse
• Mission: Sharing stories with women in the middle of the mess, showing up bravely as they heal
• Community: Creating space for women to learn, grow, and heal together through shared experiences

Loved this episode? J's story proves that our worst moments can become the catalyst for our greatest transformations. Her journey from feeling trapped and tolerating life to creating a methodology that helps others thrive shows that "shift happens"—and we don't have to wait for tragedy to start living the life we deserve. Sometimes the most powerful changes begin with the smallest shifts, and every mini moment matters in building the life you won't regret.

Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com

Contact us for expert podcast production and support.