Communication, healthy conflict, emotional triggers, attachment styles, and healing after divorce are at the heart of this conversation with licensed psychotherapist and author Colette Fehr.

Colette is the author of The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations That Create Secure, Lasting Love, a powerful guide to understanding what happens when we suppress our needs instead of communicating them—and how to break those patterns.

In this episode, Erica and Colette talk about:

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways

• Why healthy conflict can save a relationship instead of destroying it.
• How attachment styles and nervous-system responses influence the way we communicate.
• Why our triggers aren't always about our partner—and how to respond instead of react.
• The importance of inner child healing and self-responsibility in healthy relationships.
• How suppressing needs and avoiding hard conversations can create resentment and emotional distance.
• Why clearly communicating your needs can create secure, lasting love.

🌟 Resources & Links

Join The Club for community, support, and resources for navigating life, relationships, divorce, and everything in between.

https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com/theclub

Connect with This Week's Guest: Colette Fehr

Learn more about Colette, her work as a licensed psychotherapist, and her relationship resources.

https://www.colettejanefehr.com

The Cost of Quiet

Get Colette Fehr's book and learn how to have the hard conversations that create secure, lasting love.

https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

Insights from the Couch

Colette's podcast covering relationships, divorce, midlife, reinvention, perimenopause, menopause, and more.

Love Thy Neighbor

Colette's relationship podcast featuring conversations about love, relationships, pop culture, and different perspectives on modern relationships.

✨ Stay Connected

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe to the podcast, share it with someone who needs to hear it, and join The Club.

And remember: healing your relationship patterns starts with learning to understand yourself, communicate your needs, and respond instead of react.

Astrology can be more than a horoscope or a prediction about your future.

In this episode of The Crazy Ex-Wives Club, Erica explores how she uses astrology as a tool for self-awareness, curiosity, and navigating hard seasons—without giving away her power or free will.

After moving through an intense eclipse season, Erica looks at what her own chart helped her understand about exhaustion, visibility, work, relationships, and the feeling of being stuck in the mud when you're actually in the middle of something being built.

The planets don't control you. You still get to drive the bus. Astrology can simply offer another perspective on the energy, pressure, and themes that may be showing up in your life.

🔑 What You'll Learn

• Why astrology doesn't have to be about predicting your future or controlling your choices
• How understanding your personal chart can help you recognize patterns and stop judging yourself for them
• Why Erica uses astrology for curiosity, not control
• How the moon became a grounding rhythm for navigating difficult seasons and creating a natural monthly reset
• The difference between feeling like a victim of your circumstances and getting curious about what a season is asking you to learn
• How to use the energy of the new moon and full moon to reflect, reset, celebrate, and move forward
• Why sometimes the “mud” you're fighting through isn't failure—it's the foundation being built

🌟 Resources & Links

Join The Wild Woman: The Wild Woman is your space to define who you are becoming and move closer to her each month. Every month you get two guided practices delivered straight to your inbox. https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com/wildwoman

Snag Karla's 7 Figure Business blueprint - Your Million Dollar AI Business Coach at your Finger Tipshttps://www.karlamaree.co/a/2148105783/TncuVWtD

✨ Ready to Move Forward?

If this episode made you curious about how you can use the planets as a tool for greater self-awareness, Erica invites you to join The Wild Woman for September.

It's a monthly container designed to help you get clear on what's getting in the way, focus on one piece of your life at a time, and keep moving forward through the hard seasons.

And because it's Erica's birthday month, September members get something extra: a live call with Erica, beginning with a guided meditation and grounding practice, followed by an open Q&A where she'll stay until everyone's questions have been answered.

You can join for the month, stay as long as you want, and leave whenever you feel complete.

Join The Wild Woman:

https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com/wildwoman

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share it with a friend, and come hang out with us in The Crazy Ex-Wives Club.

What can Dolly Parton teach us about divorce recovery, reinvention, authenticity, and becoming who you were always meant to be?

In this solo episode, Erica reflects on Dolly’s unapologetic approach to life and shares 10 powerful lessons for women rebuilding after divorce or any major life transition—from finding yourself and doing it on purpose, to paving a new road, growing deeper roots through the storms, embracing what you love, and extending grace to yourself along the way.

This is your invitation to stop letting other people define your next chapter, own your story, find joy in the little things, and live fully and unapologetically.

🔑 Key Takeaways

• Find yourself—and do it on purpose. Your next chapter is yours to create.
• Pave a new road. Stop letting other people’s expectations define what’s possible.
• Let the storms deepen your roots. Hard seasons can build resilience, strength, and self-trust.
• Own what you love. Embrace the parts of yourself you’ve been afraid to show.
• Give yourself grace and honor your story. Your past helped shape the woman you’re becoming.

🌟 Resources & Links

The Selenite Sleep Ritual + Stone

Sleep evaded me for years during my divorce. This simple practice helped my mind and body reset for the night and shift out of survival mode.

Selenite Heart Stone - ETSY

✨ Your Invitation

Take one Dolly lesson with you today.

Which one hit you the hardest?

Ask yourself: Am I actually living this—or am I still holding myself back because of what someone else might think?

You don't have to become Dolly. You get to become more fully you.

Subscribe to The Crazy Ex-Wives Club, share this episode with a woman who needs the reminder, and join The Club for more support as you rebuild your life on purpose.

What if you could consciously uncouple—even when your ex refuses to participate? In this episode of The Crazy X Wives Club, Erica explores what it really means to move through divorce, co-parenting, grief, and conflict from a place of values instead of wounds.

Drawing from a deeply triggering experience in Hawaii, Erica shares how she spiraled, processed the anger and grief, rewrote the story, and ultimately chose to take her power back. Because conscious uncoupling doesn't require two people. It only requires you.

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways

• Conscious uncoupling can be a choice you make alone. Your ex doesn't have to agree, participate, or even know that's what you're doing.
• Pause before you react. When you're triggered, give yourself space to feel everything before deciding what deserves to be said or done.
• Get the ugly truth out somewhere safe. Write it down, journal, or record a voice memo—but don't necessarily hand your rawest emotions to someone else and fuel the spiral.
• Rewrite the story without judgment. Once the emotion settles, challenge the assumptions, blame, and “us vs. them” thinking. Ask what is actually true and what your values would have you do instead.
• You can rise above without giving up your boundaries. Choosing compassion doesn't mean letting people walk all over you. You can hold your ground while responding from care rather than hurt.
• Put your child's well-being ahead of your personal pain. Co-parenting may require you to carry difficult emotions without allowing them to spill onto your child.
• Stop waiting for your ex to change. Your healing and your identity after divorce are not dependent on whether your ex apologizes, validates your perspective, or becomes a better person.
• Your rebirth has to become a priority. Healing means learning your own heart, understanding where your wounds came from, and intentionally rebuilding the life and identity you want.

🌟 Resources & Links

The New You Blueprint is a 90-minute guided experience designed to help you:

• Get clear on who you're becoming
• Release grief that's still sitting in your body
• Identify what needs to change
• Create a plan for rebuilding your life
• Decide what—and who—needs to come with you into your next chapter

Use code FRIENDS for $100 off the New You Blueprint.

https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com/blueprint

https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com/blueprint

https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com/blueprint

Connect with Erica, take her freq quiz or submit an episode topic at www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com

What if 50/50 custody isn’t always the same thing as doing what’s best for your kids? In this episode of The Crazy Ex-Wives Club, Erica gets real about custody arrangements, 2-2-3 schedules, transitions between homes, and the emotional toll divorce can take on children.

After living through the realities of co-parenting herself, Erica shares why she ultimately chose a custody arrangement based less on what felt “fair” and more on what gave her son stability, predictability, and the support he actually needed.

The goal isn’t to tell every family what their custody schedule should look like. It’s to help parents step back, put ego aside, and ask a harder question: What arrangement works best for my child?

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways

• Equal time doesn’t automatically mean equal benefit. A 50/50 schedule may work beautifully for some families and create unnecessary stress for others.
• Reduce transitions when you can. Constantly moving between two homes can be difficult for young children. A predictable schedule with the same days each week may provide more stability.
• Make custody schedules predictable. A simple visual calendar can help children understand where they’ll be, what’s coming next, and when they’ll see each parent.
• Parenting time should reflect reality. If a parent consistently isn’t available during their scheduled time, it may be worth reconsidering whether the schedule actually serves the child.
• Separate what you want from what your child needs. Fighting for equal time because it feels fair is different from advocating for the arrangement that genuinely supports your child.
• Custody arrangements can evolve. What works for a toddler may not be what works for a school-age child or teenager. Keep paying attention to what your child needs in each season.
• Help kids through transitions instead of trying to eliminate their feelings. Give them language for the sadness, anger, or resistance that can come with moving between two homes.
• The quiet nights matter, too. Time away from your kids can be painful, but it can also become an opportunity to heal, rebuild your identity, and strengthen your internal authority.

🌟 Resources & Links

If the quiet nights feel too long, the emotions feel too big, or you’re struggling to find yourself after divorce, The Wild Woman is a monthly container designed to help you rebuild your relationship with yourself and develop your internal authority.

https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com/wildwoman

You've done the work to heal after divorce. You're finding your confidence, rebuilding your identity, and finally starting to feel like yourself again. Then one interaction with your ex leaves you feeling like you've lost all of that progress.

If you've ever wondered, "Why do I become a different person around them?" this episode is for you.

In this episode, Erica explains why healing after divorce happens in two layers: discovering who you are and learning how to stay rooted in that identity when old triggers, co-parenting dynamics, and emotional patterns show up. You'll also learn a simple practice that helps you stop giving your power away and start protecting the woman you've become.

🔑 What You'll Learn

• Why healing after divorce is about more than finding yourself.
• The two layers of post-divorce growth—and why both matter.
• Why your nervous system pulls you back into old patterns around your ex.
• How to stop letting someone else's behavior determine how you feel.
• The "pre-paving" practice to help you stay grounded before difficult interactions.
• Why every interaction is an opportunity to strengthen your identity instead of losing it.

🌟 Resources & Links

The Wild Woman

Your monthly support to claim who you are and let go of what is in the way. Stop waiting for time to heal your wounds and start doing the work to move forward.

https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com/wildwoman

https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com/wildwoman

https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com/wildwoman

Have you ever been told, "You just know" when you've met the right person?

After divorce, that advice can feel less comforting and more confusing.

In this episode, Erica unpacks why that phrase can actually make healing harder—and how to rebuild trust in yourself without confusing fear, trauma, and intuition. If dating after divorce feels like an emotional roller coaster, this conversation will help you understand what's really happening inside your nervous system and how to make decisions from a place of peace instead of panic. 

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways

• Why "you just know" can be damaging after divorce.
• The difference between intuition and a trauma response.
• Why your "picker" isn't broken—your nervous system is simply trying to protect you.
• How fear creates doubt even in healthy relationships.
• Erica's four-step process for making calmer, healthier relationship decisions.
• Why removing the pressure of "forever" creates more emotional safety.
• How healing allows you to trust yourself again.

🌟 Resources & Links

The Club is a private membership for women who are ready to stop letting divorce define their lives and start building a future they're genuinely excited about. Through live coaching, nervous system healing, practical tools, and a supportive community of women who truly get it, you'll learn how to stop spiraling, rebuild your confidence, and create your comeback—one step at a time. Because divorce may be part of your story, but it doesn't have to be your identity.

https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com/theclub

The Wild Woman is your monthly lifeline back to yourself. Through guided rituals and nervous system practices, you'll quiet the constant second-guessing, reconnect with your inner wisdom, and release what's keeping you stuck. It's a simple monthly practice that helps you regulate your emotions, hear your own truth beneath the noise, and build the life you truly want—one month at a time.

https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com/wildwoman

Divorce isn't just an emotional transition—it's one of the biggest financial decisions you'll ever make. In this episode, Erica sits down with Certified Financial Planner®, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, and author Melissa Murphy-Pavone to unpack the costly mistakes many people make during divorce and how to avoid them.

Melissa explains why equal numbers on paper don't always translate into equal financial outcomes, why your attorney shouldn't be your only advisor, and how building the right support team can save you time, money, and unnecessary stress.

Whether you're quietly considering divorce, actively negotiating a settlement, or rebuilding afterward, this conversation will help you make informed decisions with confidence.

🔑 Key Takeaways

• Why fear around divorce is usually rooted in the unknown.
• The five financial numbers everyone should understand before negotiating.
• Why "equal" asset values are often anything but equal.
• The hidden tax consequences that can dramatically impact your settlement.
• Why "I just want to be done" can become one of the most expensive decisions you'll ever make.
• The difference between financial advisors and Certified Divorce Financial Analysts (CDFAs).
• Why your divorce team should include more than just an attorney.
• How mediation can reduce conflict, time, and legal expenses.
• What every woman should know before deciding whether to keep the family home.
• Why preparing financially doesn't mean you've decided to divorce.

🎙️ Meet this Week's Guest: Melissa Murphy-Pavone

Melissa Murphy Pavone is a highly respected financial expert specializing in collaborative divorce.

As both a Certified Financial Planner (CFP®) and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®), Melissa offers a unique blend of expertise that empowers individuals to make informed financial decisions during one of life’s most challenging transitions.

https://mindfuldivorcepartners.com

Divorce by Design: Order your own copy of Melissa's book and learn how to build your divorce dream team.

Divorce Prep Workbook: Not ready to file the divorce, but curious to understand your finances? Download Melissa's prep workbook.

🌟 Resources & Links

The Wild Woman:

Unleash your inner Wild Woman so that your past no longer controls your future. A powerful monthly ritual to help you get clear on what you want and release what is in the way - for less than your therapy co-pay.

https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com/wildwoman

The Club:

Your monthly membership to connect with real women navigating divorce and get the support, clarity and help you need to know how to move forward.

https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com/theclub

Connect with Erica:

https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com

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FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/thecrazyexwivesclub/

TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@thecrazyexwivesclub

If today's conversation helped you feel more informed or empowered, please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who may need it. And if you're navigating divorce yourself, join The Crazy Ex-Wives Club for support, education, and a community of women rebuilding stronger than ever.

Are you confusing codependency with love?

After divorce, it's easy to believe that anxiety, constant togetherness, or always needing reassurance are signs of love. But what if they're actually signs of codependency?

In this episode, Erica shares how healing after divorce helped her move from anxious attachment to interdependence, rebuild trust, and reconnect with herself.

Learn the signs of codependency, how your nervous system shapes relationships, and practical steps to create healthier, more secure love.

Together, we'll unpack what codependency really looks like, why healthy relationships can initially feel unfamiliar, and how learning to trust yourself changes everything. If you've ever lost yourself in a relationship or wondered why secure love feels so different, this episode will help you understand what's happening beneath the surface.

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways

• The difference between codependency, independence, hyper-independence, and interdependence
• Why calm can feel uncomfortable after years of survival mode
• How betrayal and divorce can reinforce old attachment wounds
• The surprising ways we unknowingly abandon ourselves inside relationships
• Why quality time isn't the same as emotional dependence
• How your nervous system influences the stories you tell yourself about love
• Practical ways to become curious instead of reactive when old fears resurface
• Why healing isn't about finding the "right" partner—it's about becoming the healthiest version of yourself

🌟 Resources & Links

The Wild Woman is the monthly space where we practice this work together. Through intentional rituals, nervous system healing, coaching, and a community of women committed to growth, you'll learn to quiet the noise, trust yourself again, and become the woman you were always meant to be.

https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com/wildwoman

Divorce conflict is inevitable—but constant fighting doesn't have to be. In this episode, Erica sits down with therapist, divorce coach, mediator, and co-parenting expert Jill Kaufman to share practical strategies for reducing conflict, communicating more effectively, and protecting your children during and after divorce.

If conversations with your ex leave you feeling triggered, frustrated, or emotionally exhausted, this episode will help you understand why—and give you simple tools to respond differently.

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways

• Why conflict is normal—but escalation is optional.
• The biggest emotional triggers that keep exes stuck in unhealthy cycles.
• Why your brain literally goes into "fight, flight, or freeze" during conflict.
• How emotional regulation changes every conversation.
• The communication habits that reduce unnecessary arguments.
• Why email is often better than texting during high-conflict co-parenting.
• How to stop taking your ex's behavior personally.
• Practical breathing and visualization techniques to calm your nervous system.
• Why choosing your battles leads to healthier co-parenting.
• The small shifts that can completely change your relationship over time.

🌟 Resources & Links

Join The Club: The Club is your private space to find yourself and your confidence again, stop second guessing every decision, build a badass post-divorce life you’re actually excited to wake up to.

https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com/theclub

The Shift by Komuso

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Meet This Week's Guest: Jill Kaufman

Jill Kaufman is a Therapist, Divorce Coach, Mediator & Co-parenting Expert. After going through her own difficult divorce, she made it her life’s mission to make the process less overwhelming for others.

Her book, online course and transformational group coaching program help parents navigate the overwhelming process of divorce both emotionally and strategically with less stress, more confidence and a greater sense of peace.

Jill also co-founded Divorce Network Pro, a directory of divorce professionals committed to a low-conflict, family-focused approach.

www.divorcecoachjill.com

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