The Loving Truth

How do you navigate divorce when you have a strong faith (and a strong desire for the “traditional” family)? What happens when you divorce “the nice guy” and become the villain? 

Today on the podcast, I’m speaking with special guests Noam Raucher & Leeron Tal, co-hosts of The Jewish Divorce Podcast, about their personal journeys through divorce, plus the different ways men & women interpret confrontation and “fighting,” why we so often feel unprepared for the reality of marriage, and the additional pressures of marriage (and divorce) when you have a strong faith.

You’ll also hear us talk about what makes a marriage “successful” (besides longevity) and what Noam and Leeron wish they’d known before going through divorce… 

“As a Rabbi, I have to remind myself and the people I serve: Our ‘mistakes’ make us more human.” - Noam Raucher

You'll Learn:

2:44 - “Everything in my life was great… except my marriage.” 
6:45 - Her a-ha moment happened when she realized: Her kids were scared 
11:31 - Marriage felt like his next “right” step
15:01 - He was surprised when his ex asked for a divorce
17:02 - Men & women perceive confrontation (and fighting) differently 
21:02 - What it feels like to “wobble” in your decision
26:16 - The pressure of marriage & divorce when you have a strong faith 
30:55 - When you’re going through divorce & it feels too hard to talk with other couples
34:10 - We need a new ‘success’ marker than longevity… 
37:01 - What do Noam & Leeron wish they’d known before divorce
39:54 - More information about The Jewish Divorce Project podcast (& more!)

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

How can he have an affair if he truly loves me? Should I tell my best friend about his betrayal? Why do men cheat (and what defines cheating)?

In this episode, I’m answering these questions (and more) from real listeners who’ve recently discovered their partner’s betrayal. 

I cover everything from how both partners can get support to what’s required if you choose to stay together - plus the reason I think every married couple should have a conversation about betrayal (even if there hasn’t been one yet).

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

Every woman I know has felt some level of shame for showing emotion… and on every end of the spectrum. Deep grief, anger, even pure joy. 

In this episode, I’m talking about the importance of understanding your emotions for a healthy, intimate relationship. 

You’ll learn about the wide range of emotions we have access to (but why we’re only familiar with a handful), how your avoidance of emotion is keeping you stuck in indecision about your marriage, plus the two options you have when it comes to uncomfortable emotions - including heartbreak.

What You'll Learn:

1:10 - From positive to negative emotions… where’s your “home base” emotion?
5:01 - Why we avoid emotions & shame people who show them
7:06 - Your emotions offer important guidance about what’s for you… and not for you
10:00 - What this means for your most intimate relationship
13:24 - Are you trying to avoid heartbreak? (Is that possible?)
15:03 - You have two options
17:09 - THIS is the price of a life well-loved

Mentioned In This Episode

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

“My kids are so lucky [that I] have Sharon [...] I would never have done this [so peacefully] without her.” - Tania

I have something extra special to share with you this week… Three of my long-time members from inside The Decision are sharing their real-life stories from the other side of divorce.

Charles, Rachel, and Tania have been part of my membership program for more than three years, and together we have an important conversation about the opportunity for personal growth after an affair, what it’s like to “nest” with your ex-partner, and how to care for & develop yourself through the process of divorce - and after! 

This is a beautiful conversation (originally ONLY offered as a *bonus* call with other members inside the program!) But I invite you to listen to this candid back-and-forth to hear what it might be like from the other side of what you’re considering right now… 

Please Note: This episode was originally recorded as a *bonus* call inside The Decision. Charles, Rachel, and Tania agreed to share their stories publicly on the podcast. Enjoy!

Mentioned In This Episode

The Decision Membership program :: https://thedecisionmembership.com/

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

Love is pain… and if you don’t want to feel pain, you should just give up on love, right? 

In this episode, I’ll explain where this line of thinking comes from and what happens when our expectations of love and marriage don’t match the reality.

I’ll walk you through the ways that I’ve learned to think about love and marriage relationships, answer the question, “Does the ‘perfect’ soulmate partner exist?” and tell you what to give up on - instead of love.

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

0:55 - I’m never going to tell you to give up on love, BUT… 
3:33 - Does the “perfect” partner exist?
5:10 - I think about love & marriage like this
7:39 - Instead of giving up on love, give up on this… 
9:22 - The reality of loving someone well

Mentioned In This Episode

On Love: A Novel by Alain De Botton

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

I get it: You don’t want to regret the choice you make (and you don’t want to make your life worse).

But what happens when we dig into what’s really behind your fear of making a “wrong” decision about your marriage? What happens when you challenge the general opinion that there is a right and wrong step forward - toward deepening your marriage or ending in divorce? 

In this episode, we’ll find out! I’m talking about the safety net of indecision, regrets and “what if” thinking, plus the uncomfortable back-tracking that sometimes happens, even after you decide. 

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

1:32 - Indecision might be less scary, BUT…
5:49 - What’s “right” and “wrong” for YOU?
7:35 - “WHAT IF… I have regrets later, and I can’t go back?”
9:07 - The most important thing about making a decision…
12:59 - You don’t know what will happen… until you decide

Mentioned In This Episode

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

The current legal process for divorce is complicated - not to mention expensive. That’s why I invited Erin Levine, Founder of Hello Divorce, to join me today on the podcast. 

She’s here to demystify the legal details of separation and explain her 3-step alternative for a simpler, kinder, and less stressful divorce.

We talk about the problems with bringing your divorce to court, how to navigate divorce when you don’t trust your ex, and the “divorce math” you should consider (i.e. it’s not just financially draining). Erin also explains why she’s determined to NEVER again litigate a divorce, plus the most-used service within Hello Divorce - and how it can save you money (and tears!)

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

2:09 - Top 3 problems Erin witnessed within the divorce courts… and what led her to create another option
7:47 - “Conscious Uncoupling” isn’t just hype from Gwenyth Paltrow
12:31 - Remember: the system is set up for lawyers… it’s not designed to support families
20:04 - When the spirit of “making things peaceful” mixes with DISTRUST
23:12 - Hello Divorce breaks down the divorce process into 3 parts
32:51 - Divorce Math: Consider the emotional toll this process takes
37:47 -  Your lawyer is not your life coach… but you need additional support! 
45:02 - Erin’s advice for keeping the divorce peaceful (even when your spouse isn’t focused on that)

About The Guest: 

Erin Levine has more than a decade of experience litigating complex family matters in court, but when she saw the need for a kinder, easier, and more affordable pathway through divorce, she set out to revolutionize the broken divorce legal system and founded Hello Divorce: a venture capital-backed and tech-enabled platform that helps separating spouses reorganize their lives and finances with less stress and mess. 

Erin is on a mission to help everyone design a better life after divorce. She’s already helped thousands of Americans reorganize their lives and families through the Hello Divorce framework that levels the playing field between spouses, so they can sort things out fairly, avoid missteps, and reimagine their next and best chapter.

Learn more about Erin Levine and Hello Divorce at hellodivorce.com (and on Instagram @hellodivorce).

Mentioned In This Episode

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

If you want to be truly adored and cherished in your most intimate relationship (as though you are the Queen of his world!) this episode is for you…

Often we say that we want to be treated like a queen… but when it doesn’t happen, we get angry and place blame (or give up the dream).

In this episode, I’ll give you 3 important things to consider if you desire Queendom within your marriage - because it’s possible with a few vital adjustments! I’ll share the first question you need to ask yourself, how you can keep your expectations high (no, really!) - PLUS the 1 thing you need to stop doing to your husband.

Tune in for a quick, deep dive episode for the Queens among us!

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

1:47 - People will meet you at your level of expectation, BUT…
4:49 - If you want to be treated like a Queen, consider starting here
7:42 - Because THIS is the real problem… and a solution!

Mentioned In This Episode

Truth & Clarity Session with Sharon

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

“What is not Love is always Fear.” -from A Course In Miracles, scribed by Helen Schucman

In other words, the opposite of love is not hate… it’s fear. And we unconsciously live within fear-based decisions when we misunderstand our options!

We have only two: LOVE or FEAR.

So how do we know if we’re making choices based in fear… or with love? 

This choice shows up most prominently in our marriage relationships, and in this episode I’ll explain why - plus the question to ask if you’re unsure where your own decisions stem from (and how to do things differently).

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

1:09 - Fear is sneaky, because it’s often unconscious
3:16 - Here’s why it shows up most obviously in our marriages
4:20 - You think it’s love… but is it based in fear? 
5:34 - This is everyone’s deepest fear…
6:06 - Why the motivation behind your action is important
7:57 - Here’s what I ask myself when I’m unsure about a decision

Mentioned In This Episode

Truth & Clarity Session with Sharon

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

Many of my clients come to me saying, “I no longer feel desire for my partner… even though I want to! Intimacy used to feel so different. What’s wrong?” 

And well, it’s probably not what you think.

In this episode, I invite you to discover how the thrill of novelty and the excitement of the unknown are essential to your long-term marriage, plus how you can realistically bring these elements back to life, starting today.

Because maybe it’s less about what’s “wrong” with your relationship… and more about what you can do differently.

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

0:59 - You might think THIS is the problem (it’s not!) 
2:49 - Here’s the real problem - and it happens to all of us
6:01 - Imagine what it looks like to re-incorporate spontaneity into your marriage
9:25 - But here’s the worst time of day to begin… 
11:16 - Here’s what I do to keep desire alive with my husband
12:29 - Why non-sexual touch is vital to revamping desire

Mentioned In This Episode

Truth & Clarity Session with Sharon

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.