The Loving Truth

How do we move forward together after the discovery of an affair? How do I know he won’t cheat again? What if there’s more sexual indiscretion I just don’t know about (yet)? 

In this episode, I’ll share a story from one of my clients: She’s 59 and just discovered her husband’s long-term sexual indiscretion. Now she’s trying to understand what went wrong and how to move forward. 

I’ll talk about how we can get introspective (without taking responsibility for something that’s NOT our fault), the importance of being “chosen” by our partners (not merely tied together by convenience or fear), plus the Loving Truth about what’s possible on the other side.

Please note: This is a tender, sensitive topic for those of us who’ve experienced sexual indiscretion within an intimate relationship. When deciding whether to listen to this episode (or select another), I encourage you to keep this in mind and take good care of yourself.

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

1:16 - She’s 59 and just discovered her husband’s sexual indiscretion
4:22 - When you’ve been cheated on, you need these 2 important things 
6:39 - Here’s where he needs to start
13:07 - What does it mean to get “introspective”?
16:18 - Are you brave enough to consider this, too?
20:18 - This is what can happen on the other side!
23:17 - And here’s the loving truth…

Mentioned In This Episode

Truth & Clarity Session with Sharon

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

Heather has been married to her husband for eight years, but they’re rarely intimate. Following a hidden ED diagnosis and an affair, her husband is finally initiating sex… but she’s no longer interested. 

Now Heather wants to know, “Is there a way back to each other… after I’ve lost desire?”

In this episode, we’ll get into some sensitive topics, including - what to do when sex feels like an obligation, how to face the reality of your relationship’s problems, and what it means that you BOTH have a say in the future of your marriage (plus the fact that there’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ decisions here).

Listen in as I answer Heather’s question, and see what you might apply to your own situation.

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

0:31 - She’s been married for 8 years, but intimacy has always been limited
4:16 - Can you start by giving yourself grace?
5:06 - The question of having a child… or getting divorced
7:35 - You need to tell yourself the truth
10:04 - He gets to choose for his life… and you get to choose for yours
13:17 - Is there a way back to each other… after all this? 
16:57 - Is he on ‘good behavior’ right now? 
19:10 - There’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ decision here. But the decision is yours

Mentioned In This Episode

COURSE: Disconnection to Desire

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

If you understand this, your marriage will automatically become so much easier…

The differences between males and females in relationship starts with the brain - and it starts before we’re even born.

In this episode, we’re digging into the science behind our natural differences, plus how our different brain development impacts our male/female relationships as adults - based on Dr. Louann Brizendine’s research, laid out in her book: The Female Brain.

You’ll discover the neurological reasons behind our distinct ways of communication and emotional processing, plus how this shapes our marriage relationships and male/female interactions.

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

3:37 - Our differences begin before we’re even born
7:58 - Baby girls are born knowing how to “read the room”
10:55 - The physiological differences in male/female communication
13:23 - Why women are the 1st to notice disharmony in relationships
18:40 - Why your marriage *feels* different to you… than to your husband

Mentioned In This Episode

Truth & Clarity Session with Sharon
The Female Brain by Dr. Louann Brizendine

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

How do we get more comfortable talking about sex? Is it “okay” to add sex to our schedules… or should it only be spontaneous? What if one of us is never in the mood?

In this episode, I’m detailing FIVE things that passionate couples do differently - taken from the teachings of Esther Perel. I’ll explain the concept of “responsive desire” (and how to be intimate when you’re not in the mood), what to do if it feels like your partner is only ever “taking” from you, and the importance of consistency with physical intimacy - for both partners! 

Listen in if you’re ready and wanting to ignite deeper passion inside your most intimate relationship.

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

2:36 - I rarely want to work out… but I never regret it
5:50 - When it feels like all he wants to do is take from you
9:07 - You cannot punish your partner for this!
10:41 - Your relationship needs physical intimacy (consistently)
13:40 - Maintenance sex v. Spontaneous sex

Mentioned In This Episode:

Truth & Clarity Session with Sharon

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

Could your marriage be the cornerstone to success in every other part of your life? In this episode, I invite you to consider the potentially transformative concept of placing your relationship above even your children and career… 

I explain why many of us naturally prioritize other aspects of life (kids, work, etc.) and the subtle-yet-profound impact this could be having in our marriages. This is a divisive topic, so I invite you to tune in and consider what this means for you!

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

2:49 - Can your marriage be the foundation… for everything else in your life?
4:18 - Most of us love our kids unconditionally. What about our life partners?
6:22 - What else can thrive… when your marriage thrives?
8:04 - But prioritizing your marriage shouldn’t feel like a chore
11:20 - What’s ONE thing you can do to prioritize your marriage?

Mentioned In This Episode:

Truth & Clarity Session with Sharon

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

If you feel stuck in indecision about whether you should stay in your relationship or leave it… you likely don’t have enough information to make your decision (yet).

That’s the problem my client was facing: Her marriage had been struggling for years, and now she found herself deep inside an affair - no longer in love with her husband but undecided about what to do next. 

In this episode, I walk you through the 90-day strategy we used to help her come to clarity, plus the difference between thoughtful decision-making and “convenient” decisions. If you feel stuck in indecision about your marriage, this episode is for you!

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

2:09 - What do you want? (What don’t you want?)
5:18 - What are your reasons WHY?
7:21 - The 90-day ground rules for success
9:20 - But the goal is NOT “wedded bliss in 90 days!”
12:23 - Ask this question if you’re feeling stuck

Mentioned In This Episode:

Truth & Clarity Session with Sharon

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

Who am I, and why should you listen to me? 

The work of relationship coaching is personal, and today I want to share more about who I am, personally and professionally - so you can see behind-the-scenes of my life and work.

In this episode, I share my personal story of a first marriage that ended in divorce, how I’ve been on all sides of affairs, and why my second marriage is thriving. You’ll also hear about what led me to relationship coaching, the work I did previously, and how I finally discovered peace and happiness - using my own life coaching tools!

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

1:58 - The simple reason I married my first husband
6:51 - I thought the answer was to find the right person…
8:20 - Why my second marriage is thriving 10 years later!
11:46 - This is what I did for work, prior to relationship coaching
16:09 - The first time I felt my heart leap out of my chest
21:08 - Who are my people? What matters to me? Where am I from? What do I believe in? 
29:27 - How I finally discovered peace

Mentioned In This Episode:

Truth & Clarity Session with Sharon

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

Oh, the age-old dilemma in nearly every marriage… One partner needs emotional connection before physical intimacy; the other requires sex to feel connected. 

Both partners require both types of connection. But which comes first? 

In this episode, I take a stand on which type of connection *must* come first, plus why we need different things to feel connected, what to do if you feel like your partner is only ever ‘taking’ from you, and how you might be exacerbating the disconnection in your marriage. 

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

1:07 - We need BOTH emotional & physical connection… which comes first?
4:05 - The dilemma: I’m not meeting your needs, because you’re  not meeting mine
5:47 - But this is what HAS to come first - no matter what
8:00 - Your partner is not trying to take something from you…

Mentioned In This Episode:

Truth & Clarity Session with Sharon
Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life by Vanessa & Xander Marin

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

When one of my clients discovered her husband’s betrayal, she consciously chose to stay in the marriage… but she also struggled to know how to move forward from there.

Would his past behavior determine their success or failure? Could new patterns of behavior “save” their marriage?

In this episode, I’m talking about the problems with ONLY looking to the past for predictions of the future, plus how we can start trusting ourselves and move forward after a marriage upset.

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

2:10 - The best predictor of the future is the past, unless… 
7:05 - How new patterns of behavior *change* your relationship
10:07 - You can’t have one foot in the past & one foot in the future…
13:08 - Here’s how you can start trusting YOURSELF

Mentioned In This Episode:

Truth & Clarity Session with Sharon

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

If you can get better at this one thing… every single relationship in your life will get better! 

Most relationship issues can be traced back to problems with communication, right? There might be a lack of communication, a handful of miscommunications, a lack of understanding… the list goes on. 

But here’s what I want you and your partner BOTH to consider: Are you as interested in what your partner has to say… as you are in being seen & heard?

In this episode, we’ll dig into this question, and I’ll share 5 practical tools to help you get better at both listening and being heard.

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

01:10 - You know what it’s like to feel unseen & unheard (so does your partner…)
04:53 - It gets harder when your identity is wrapped up in the conversation
07:35 - When it’s time to “close your mouth & open your ears”
08:31 - Most people do not have practice being fully present…
13:15 - Are you listening to him, too?

Mentioned In This Episode:

Truth & Clarity Session with Sharon

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.