The Loving Truth

Things were different then.

When you first met your spouse, you were looking for a certain something. Now that you’re years (perhaps even decades) into your marriage, that search has evolved into something else.

In this episode of The Loving Truth podcast, you’ll learn about how what you’ve sought from your relationship has changed since its beginning. I’ll also teach you why this unfolding process can sometimes lead to looking for something outside of your relationship (in the form of an affair).

0:27 - What you’re really looking for at the beginning of a relationship

1:52 - How your relationships resemble Maslow’s hierarchy of needs

5:47 - What we reach for next in a relationship once we have what we want (and why it isn’t wrong)

9:28 - Can your relationship evolve into this?

Mentioned In What You Wanted Since the Beginning of Your Marriage Has Changed

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Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

In the coaching world, some ideas can seem a little out there. For example, the idea of creating a conscious relationship may feel a little airy fairy to you.

I mean, it sounds like a good idea. But what exactly does it mean? What does a more conscious relationship look like, and how do you create one?

In this episode of The Loving Truth podcast, you’ll learn what it takes to create a more conscious relationship. I’ll show you what it looks like to be a more conscious partner with examples of how it benefits your marriage.

1:04 - Defining the word conscious and what it means as far as your relationship

2:49 - How to become a conscious watcher of your relationship

5:49 - The piece that makes you easier to be in a relationship with

9:40 - The unpleasant (on the surface) piece that offers you an opportunity

12:19 - Ways in which growth can appear in a conscious relationship (and a quick recap of the three pieces)

Mentioned In Three Pieces You Need to Create a More Conscious Relationship

Stay or Go? How to Find Confidence and Clarity So You Can Fix Your Marriage, or Move Forward Without Regret by Sharon Pope

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

It’s that time again! In this episode of The Loving Truth podcast, I’m doing another Q&A about your greatest relationship challenges. And today, you’ll hear my answers to the following voicemail questions from an anonymous caller and Jennifer:

Is it normal to want to know all the details of my husband’s affair in order to process and get over it? Am I wrong to want to leave my husband of 23 years (who I’m still with out of guilt) so I can find love and be happy again someday?

In the process, you’ll learn what you’re actually looking for when you want to know all the details about an affair (and why you should be careful what you ask for), the line you don’t want to cross to remain in a relationship, and why asking if you’re right or wrong to end your marriage doesn’t have a wrong answer.

I’ll also reveal the danger of over-functioning for other people in your life and why you shouldn’t concern yourself with what others think about the ending of your relationship.

1:00 - Why wanting to know all the details about an affair is a form of self-abuse

5:43 - Why it can be difficult to get past the details once you know them

9:53 - The choice between placing your focus on feeling good or heaping on more trauma

14:16 - Unpacking several things in Jennifer’s multifaceted question

22:02 - How Jennifer can ease the guilt she feels about ending her marriage and what she can expect going forward with a divorce

26:13 - The best and healthiest thing Jennifer can do for her and her husband’s 21-year-old child 

Mentioned In The Dangers of Over Functioning & More of Your Relationship Questions

Book a Truth & Clarity Session

Have a Question? Leave Me a Voicemail Message at 727-537-0359.

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

Are your conversations with your husband stale, awkward, or practically non-existent these days? Maybe you talk about the same things over and over because it’s “safe,” or you’ve just gotten stuck in a routine.

Regardless, you no longer feel as close to him as you used to. So, how do you get back to having normal, interesting discussions after work, on the couch, around the dinner table...or on a date?

In this episode of The Loving Truth podcast, you’ll learn why the interest has fizzled out when you try to talk to your spouse, why you need to show interest in each other’s interests, and how to put some pizzazz back in your conversations. I’ll also share a few questions you can use as starters to help re-spark curiosity in each other and your marriage.

1:02 - Two reasons why you might struggle to feel close when speaking with your spouse

3:33 - The perspective that keeps curiosity intact in a long-term relationship

5:36 - Why you shy away from talking about the bad stuff (and why you shouldn’t)

7:58 - Two reasons why you’ll want to show interest in what your partner is interested in, even if you don’t share it

12:49 - Questions to help normalize conversation between you and your spouse when it starts to wane

Mentioned In Help! My Husband & I Have Nothing to Talk About!

TableTopics® 

Living Like Roommates

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

“We need to talk.” Do those four dreaded words sound familiar? They usually lead to defensive feelings and another argument with your spouse.

But you two have been stuck in limbo for a while now. You really need to sit down and have that difficult conversation you may have been putting off about moving forward (or not) in your marriage.

So, how do you approach this much-needed conversation without it turning into the same old argument? The key is asking the right questions--for yourself and your partner.

In this episode of The Loving Truth podcast, you’ll learn how to generate information beyond just the surface level of your relationship when you need to talk, whether you decide to stay together or call it quits. I’ll give you questions to ask yourself and your partner so you can get better-quality answers that’ll actually help you make better decisions about your marriage.

3:14 - Why you need to be aware of the quality of the questions you ask your spouse

9:17 - How to change the way you show up in a difficult conversation with your partner

13:08 - Questions to ask yourself (before the conversation) and your spouse (during the conversation)

16:16 - Asking more generative questions to move the process forward (whether you stay or go)

20:38 - Better questions to ask if you’re trying to make your marriage work but aren’t optimistic about your chances

26:07 - Better questions to ask if you’ve decided to end your marriage

29:51 - The difference between investigative versus detective questions

Mentioned In How Quality Questions Lead to Better Decisions About Your Marriage

Book a Truth & Clarity Session

Episode 38: Change Destructive Patterns in Your Marriage

We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle: “215. The Bravest Conversation We’ve Had: Andrea Gibson” 

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

If you’ve been with someone for a while, you have certain ways you typically engage with one another. While some of these patterns of engagement are helpful and work for you, others can be destructive.

Having the same destructive patterns re-occur creates greater disconnection and dysfunction in your relationship. Once you are aware of them, though, you can change them.

But how do you become aware of and change a destructive pattern in your marriage? There’s one I see all the time, and it’s triggered by what I call “the four dreaded words.”
In this episode of The Loving Truth podcast, you’ll find out the words and the pattern, why it happens, and how you can disrupt it and create a new, healthier pattern between you and your partner.

1:45 - The destructive pattern I see every day triggered by these four words
4:42 - What you need to do to break this pattern and receive what you want
7:46 - How you can disrupt this destructive pattern and create a better one
9:40 - Why it isn’t necessary for both of you to be working together to change the pattern
11:52 - An alternative if it feels too scary to do this with your partner right now

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage? Book a Truth & Clarity Session.

Want even more tools to navigate a disconnected marriage?
Join me on social media: Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube

If you have a suggestion for a future episode or a question you’d like me to answer on the show, email us.

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

You’ve seen those TV or radio shows with experts taking calls, right? They answer questions from people about their financial issues, parenting problems, and other topics.

Today, for the first time, I’m doing my own version of that and taking calls to answer your questions about your greatest relationship challenges. In this episode of The Loving Truth podcast, you’ll learn the answers to the following questions from Betsy, Karen, and Julie:

After a betrayal, when can you feel like you’ve asked enough questions of him and feel well enough to move forward?

Why can you have a hard time accepting your husband’s love (after unfaithfulness on your part), and how can you fix the situation?

How do you get past the guilt of moving on from a relationship (even if it was a toxic, abusive one)?

1:57 - The difference between helpful and unhelpful questions to ask after infidelity

3:56 - Why the “why” question is so important for you to understand

7:59 - Why moving on from an affair takes longer than you think

11:13 - Why an affair is like a drug

14:45 - How do your thoughts create your feelings about your marriage

19:29 - Why you might find it difficult to move past the guilt of leaving a long-term relationship

Mentioned In Q&A: Answering Some of Your Greatest Relationship Challenges

Episode 26: “Your Brain on Drugs (oops...I mean Affairs)”

Stay or Go? How to Find Confidence and Clarity So You Can Fix Your Marriage, or Move Forward Without Regret by Sharon Pope

Have a Question? Leave Me a Voicemail at 727-537-0359

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

Marriage is forever...or so you’ve been taught.

You can change (or end) other things like jobs and even other relationships, but marriage is “sacred.” And because you’ve been indoctrinated with this, the notion of ending your marriage can carry all kinds of bad feelings--sadness, guilt, feelings of failure, and so on.

But what if you accepted the idea that relationships are meant to be impermanent? In this episode of The Loving Truth podcast, we’ll dive a little deeper into this indoctrination (specifically regarding your decision to stay or leave) and why there might be an impermanence to your decision to stay.

1:40 - Why this one person hasn’t made a decision about her marriage yet

4:20 - The impermanence of making the decision to stay married

6:06 - The nature of relationships

8:09 - Owning the choice you make

Featured On The Show:

• Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage? Book a Truth & Clarity Session
• Want even more tools to navigate a disconnected marriage? Join me on social media: Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube
• If you have a suggestion for a future episode or a question you’d like me to answer on the show, email us.

Enjoy the Show?

• Don’t miss an episode!  Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe to The Loving Truth podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

Love what you’re hearing? Leave a rating & review on Apple Podcasts!

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

You’ve made the decision to divorce your spouse. Perhaps you’ve already had the first difficult conversation about it.

But then...you get stuck. You stall and don’t file the papers. This can last for weeks, months, or even years!

People tend to think getting a divorce is a straight-lined process. And when they discover it isn’t and go into stall mode, they can beat themselves up over it.

It’s not uncommon to get stuck in the divorce process, though, and there are a couple of places that make it easy to do so. In this episode of The Loving Truth podcast, you’ll learn where you might stall, why you might not be moving on with the divorce you say you want, and how to get yourself unstuck to proceed forward.

1:21 - Places where the divorcing process can break down

6:15 - The tricky in-between period of life called separation and what to do about it

11:24 - My theory for the biggest reason why we get stuck (and how to get unstuck)

15:25 - The question to ask yourself if you’re not taking the next step toward the divorce you want

18:04 - The Rings of Fire and Peace and two things to help you move through the divorce process

Featured On The Show:

• Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage? Book a Truth & Clarity Session
• Want even more tools to navigate a disconnected marriage? Join me on social media: Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube
• If you have a suggestion for a future episode or a question you’d like me to answer on the show, email us.

Enjoy the Show?

• Don’t miss an episode!  Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe to The Loving Truth podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

Love what you’re hearing? Leave a rating & review on Apple Podcasts!

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

“Why isn’t my husband invested in making our marriage feel good? Why is it always on me?”

This is something I hear from women all the time! It’s something I’ve asked myself.

In this episode, I’ll decipher this very real phenomenon and explore ways you can work to change this dynamic in your own marriage. 

Be prepared to dive deep… We’re going to consider the very real foundations of society’s unequal expectations for men and women (and what we’re willing to do about it!) 

If you’re struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer, book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

What You’ll Learn In This Episode:

• 2 reasons women are more invested in relationships than men 
• Why you cannot avoid this conversation around expectations  
• Why your man SHOULD change… (and why you should, too)

Featured On The Show:

• Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage? Book a Truth & Clarity Session
• Want even more tools to navigate a disconnected marriage? Join me on social media: Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube
• If you have a suggestion for a future episode or a question you’d like me to answer on the show, email us.

Enjoy the Show?

• Don’t miss an episode!  Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe to The Loving Truth podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

Love what you’re hearing? Leave a rating & review on Apple Podcasts!

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.