In this conversation, "I got scammed!" we explore the concept of grandiosity in narcissism.  I discuss how grandiosity manifests in narcissistic individuals and the overlooked aspect of intolerable suffering.  I illustrate how intolerable suffering plays out in the case of someone who was scammed. We look closely at the connection between grandiosity and the timeshare scam, highlighting the rejection of anything good and the delusional structure of the grandiose sense of self. The conversation concludes with a focus on the challenges faced by individuals with narcissistic characteristics and the importance of helping them develop the capacity to take in something of value.

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here

Next Meeting: March

Contact me Directly with observations, questions or comments:

[email protected]

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com

What is Depression? 
In this episode, we discuss the  role of aggression and  'bad introjects' in depression.  We  explore the origins of the critical and aggressive inner voice in depression, which often stems from early caregiver relationships.  I emphasize how  "bad" introjects develop and later in life the impact they have on fueling depression.  A review of several pathways to depression is discussed and I highlight the detrimental effects of ineffective coping mechanisms.  Effective treatment techniques that lead to lasting change are detailed before I conclude with a brief review of previous episodes that delve into the complexities of depression, including shame, emotional detachment, narcissistic merger fantasies, and maladaptive coping mechanisms.

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here

Next Meeting: March

Contact me Directly with observations, questions or comments:

[email protected]

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com

In this episode, I discuss a recent paper I presented on adolescent depression. I highlight the urgent need for understanding depression and effective treatment interventions for this growing mental health issue. I explore the role of "exclusion" and separation in healthy development and how, if not resolved, these painful feelings play a significant role in adolescent depression. Using a case study,  I delve into the experience of depression in adolescence. Finally, we look at treatment interventions and the importance of exploring  and subsequently resolving adolescent omnipotence and grandiosity.  

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here

Next Meeting: March

Contact me Directly with observations, questions or comments:

[email protected]

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com

Takeaways

·         Self-other differentiation is critical in understanding narcissistic relationships.

·         Narcissistic relationships thrive when narcissistic needs are met.

·         The preference for illusion over reality can lead to destructive dynamics.

·         Embracing differences and engaging in genuine discovery  of the "other" is essential for healthier relationships.

·         Confronting and mourning lost fantasies is a challenging but necessary process in the journey toward loving relationships.

 

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here

Next Meeting: March

Contact me Directly with observations, questions or comments:

[email protected]

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com

In this episode, we discuss how to relate to a narcissist in your life without sacrificing your own well-being.  We explore the dynamics of dealing with constant accusations, suspicion and invasive  tracking measures.  I emphasize the importance of taking these accusations seriously and understanding the projection and splitting that may be occurring. I suggest and give clear examples of how to not label your partner's behaviors but instead the goal is to focus on describing what is happening in the present moment. I also highlight the significance of embracing loss and different perspectives, as well as the hope that can be found in confusion and curiosity.

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here

Next Meeting: March

Contact me Directly with observations, questions or comments:

[email protected]

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com

This episode explores the links between anxiety and narcissism. It begins by discussing shame stress and the inner critical (angry) voice as significant causes of anxiety. The conversation then delves into the necessity for a flawless self-image and how it triggers anxiety. The connection between anxiety, narcissism, and exclusion is explored through examples of individuals who feel the center of attention. The episode also provides guidance on how to exist with someone with anxiety and narcissism, emphasizing the importance of questioning and softening the critical inner voice. The underlying issues that contribute to anxiety, such as unprocessed emotions, are addressed. The episode concludes by highlighting the relationship between anxiety, aggression, and narcissism.

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here

Next Meeting: March

Contact me Directly with observations, questions or comments:

[email protected]

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com

In this episode, we explore the connection between perfectionism and anxiety, highlighting how the inner critical voice fuels feelings of inadequacy and fear of judgment. I discuss the role of anger as a driver of anxiety and explain how the critical inner voice originates from early relationships with overly critical  parental figures.  I emphasize the importance of recognizing and addressing the critical voice to achieve lasting change. I conclude by discussing anxiety as another facet of narcissism and invite listeners to continue exploring this topic  with me in the next episode.

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here

Next Meeting: March

Contact me Directly with observations, questions or comments:

[email protected]

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com

In this episode,  we explore the complex relationship between anxiety and shame stress. I highlight how shame stress often goes undetected and untreated in individuals dealing with narcissism. The manifestations of anxiety, including perfectionism, procrastination, and self-destructive thoughts are described and I emphasize how traditional approaches to anxiety only treat the symptom and not the underlying cause. I introduce the concept of "shame stress" and its role in driving anxiety.  I share a case study to illustrate how shame stress can manifest in social situations and  I demonstrate the tools and techniques that I use to foster lasting changes.  I conclude by  highlighting the need for us to further consider the relationship between the shame stress and one's "critical voice." 

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here

Next Meeting: March

Contact me Directly with observations, questions or comments:

[email protected]

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com

In this episode, we tackle common parental challenges like tantrums, defiance, and risky behavior. Traditional solutions often fall short, but by understanding the underlying causes—the impact of affective misattunement and rupture in the parent-child bond—we can foster healthier relationships. Rather than focusing solely on behavior, we explore tools and techniques to address the underlying emotional needs and re-establish a strong and loving connection.

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here

Next Meeting: March

Contact me Directly with observations, questions or comments:

[email protected]

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com

In this episode I explore the concept of narcissistic deflation and its potential misdiagnosis as depression. I highlight the importance of detecting and properly treating narcissistic deflation, which often goes unnoticed without the expertise of a trained professional in personality disorders. Shame states are identified as a key factor in this phenomenon, with examples provided to illustrate their impact on individuals. The connection between excitement, disappointment, and shame is explored, emphasizing the role of misattunement in triggering shame. I discuss the importance of regulating shame and developing self-regulation skills to prevent narcissistic injury.  Finally, I offer a treatment approach focused on long-lasting change and “robust” self-regulation, and provide further resources and support for those struggling with these issues.

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here

Next Meeting: March

Contact me Directly with observations, questions or comments:

[email protected]

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com