The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast

Covert narcissists are the most cunning, conniving and difficult personalities to detect. They are gifted chameleons who are socially skilled and capable of expressing a convincing pseudo empathy. Most people are fooled and disarmed by the covert narcissist. 

Here are some examples of how they operate:

1. Covert narcissist use secrecy and stealth to control yoour emotions and weaken you emotionally and psychologically.

Covert narcissists demeans and humiliate you when you are the most vulnerable.

Covert narcissists convince others they are good people who can be trusted and are worthy of your respect.

The covert is obsessed with ultimate control over others, especially those closest to him or her.

Covert narcissists constantly plot and plan how to manipulative and exploit their competitors.

Learn how to recognize the covert narcissist by studying his hidden traits, baits and snares. They play the "good person" or the "martyr" roles to the hilt. They are like fine method actors. If you don't recognize them at first, don't blame yourself. They are so clever and smooth with their psychological camouflafe they are very difficult to detect. 

Pay close attention to the intuitive cues that youa re receiving and don't wae them off as irraional or insignificant. Embrace these insights.

Develop a egular practice of psychologal, emotional and nebttak ggriybdubg, This includes your for of meditation, prayer, quiet time iwth Nature and other forms of activity that are calming and restorative. Part of the practice is instilling a sense of firm respect for your personal psychological boundaries. As you move through each day, develop deep appreciation for your unique authentic true self.

Click below to view my current print book: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist on Amazon:

https://tinyurl.com/2p92ymam

Click below for Shows of Podcasts and Podcasters on every facet of Mental Health on the magnificent Mental Health News Radio Network. I am deeply honored that my show: The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is on this great  network. 

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Covert narcissists are so verbally adept. Know that when they call, something is up. They rehearse their lines. Actually, they have been deceptive for so long that trying to get the best of you is ntural to them. Covert narcissists can be so subtle that if you tell someons else that you are being worked over by one of thes vipers in didguise, they won't believe you. Don't wait to get agreement or even support from many people. I hear from those who have been chronically victimized and shoved around psychologically by covert narcissits. 

 Covert narcissists are control obsessed. They are masterful at the art of conversation, especially if they are trying to impress you or if they want something from you. If you catch them off-guard, the conversation can be very ugly. They happily feed  off of others. 

Dont become a victim of victime of the covert narcissist. 

The covert narcissist controls those in his/her golden circle The members of this special group look to the covert narcissist as the leader and authority figure. 

Regardless of their charm, their golden words and the favors they do for you, always remember that they are narcissists---cold, calculating, ruthless, completely lacking empath, deceptive, clever liars, very secretive, exploitative. 

Put the emphasis on your own psychological and spiritual (as you define it) development. Expand and deepen your creative gifts. Pay close attention to your invaluable intuition; it is the source of truth. You will find individuals who have good characters and are seeking the truth. Be kind to yourself and appreciate your authenticity, perseverance and creativity. 

Click below for my papaerback book on Amazon: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist

https://tinyurl.com/2p92ymam

Click below for the magnificent shows, podcasts and podcasters of the Mental Health News Radio Network. I am honored that my show: The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is on this tremendous Network.

www.mhnrnetwork.com

High level narcissists create, build and maintain their Image, essential to their delusional reality. The narcissist's outer shell--the elaborate perfect facade is what he/she projects in the world. This image is priceless to him. From the time most narcissists were very  small they developed a false sense of self. This can encompass many atttributes: attractiveness, confidence, drive, no sense of limits, the abiity magnetize, manipulate and control others.

I am speaking about a personality that is based solely on the thin veneer of the Image. There is no room here for the inner self that introspects, is capable of lauthentic loving relationships, empathy--the capacity to understand and feel on a deep level what someone else is experiencing, the alleviation of the emotional pain of others through kindness, the ability to perceive oneself clearly--the positive and the negative and make changes that move toward inner personal growth. 

The high level nrcisist comes to us as a beautifully wrapped package. When you unwrap it, going through the layers, you find more image not substance. Narcissists convince most people that what they are seeing and experiencing in them is real. They believe and are taken in by the elaborate series of personas . In the beginning of a "relationship" with a high level narcissist most people are dazzled by this person's charm, their powerful personality vibration, the way they are fixated on you. They pay constant attention to you that is flattering and often spell binding. They have been studying youand know how you think and what you most desire. They know your weaknesses and impulsivities. They intend to becom unforgettable to you. High level narcissists are inclined to ossess those whom they choose to be part of their inner circle. We want to believe that we are the most important person in the world to this irresistible individual. We all want to be "the One." That is a deep desire within us as human beings. If we take this elaborate bait and are carried up and give ourelves to the narcissist we are becoming prt of his/her world. We feel giddy with this level of attention and the feeling that we can have anything we want. When we are finally seduced and joing the narcissit through marriage or partnership, we share his/her life on their terms. That's the agreeement. High level narcissists make deal not true relationships. 

After being married to or partnered with a high level narcisisist we notice significan cracks in the too good to be true image. There are bursts of rage that come from nowhere. We are criticized for something we didn't do; the narcissist verbally picks at us incessantly, putting us down with cruel comments and hateful glances. We try to please him. Nothing works. What you are experiencing is the dark core of the narcissist behind the mask--that prt of the self that is seething beneath the surface. Those who live with him when the doors and windos are shut are subjected to the Jekyll/Hyde treatment. It is an ugly and frightening experience. Mr. Hyde is out, glowering up close at your face; projecting his psychological sputum on to you. The screaming starts and never seems to end; accusations fly defamations spew; threats charge the air. How much more of this re you willing to take. Hopefull, you can say to yourself: "I will not put up with this raw abuse any longer. I have had more than enough." 

This is your moment of awakening, clarity, discernment--the truth!  Through this insightful opening you come forth again as a unique individual--independent, strong, grounded.  You are moving forward along your own pathways. The winds are at your back; the day is fair and clear.  

Click below to view and purchase my print book: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist on Amazon:

https://tinyurl.com/2p92ymam

Click below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, a  tremendous group of  shows: podcasts and podcasters on every facet of Mental Health. I am deeply honored that my show: The Narcissist in Your Life Podcas is on this magnificent network

www.mhnrnetwork.com

Divorcing A covert Narcissist is replete with many challenges: psychological, emotional, financial.

I have great respect for those who have been married to covert narcissits and are now facing the battles, the subterfuges, psychological ambushes, the deep cruelties that are involved in divorcing a narcissistic personality.  Particularly with the covert narcissist, this is a thorny set of issues. The overt grandiose narcissist, so obviously self absorbed, over the top, boorish, loud, in your face is obvious. We know who we are dealing with. 

Divorcing any narcissist is highly problematic. Divorcing a covert narcissist is complicated by the believeable phony personas that they use so skillfully to make most people think that they are individuals of fine character, deep caring, kind, fair, empathic.

Those who are divorcing a covert narcissist have had a tough time througout the marriage recognizing the true nature of their marital partner. So successful is the facade worn by the covert. This is one reason why partners hesitate to divorce these individuals since they spent years rationalizing that their spouse was a good preson and they were to blame for everything that went wrong with the marriage. It can take decades for a non narcissistic partner to recognize that he or she has been psychologically and emotionally abused by these highly psychopathological individuals.

It is important to understand the covert narcissist's cold, aggressive thinking. They do everything possible to wear you down, to break you emotionally, psychologically and financially.

They are determined to make you the villain, the uncooperative one, the person who is psychologicallyimpaired and uncooperative. 

The covert narcissist is determined to rattle your nerves at all times by calling or texting you, even late at night. 

The covert applies constant stress and pessure by refusing to negotiate or settle the divorce. They are known to drag out the process. This allows them to make you weaker and therefore to manipulate and control your feelings of fear and desperation. This is done to get you to capitulate to their will of getting everything that they want.

Getting through the divorce process---Winning the marathon.

Choose an attorney who is your true advocate: knowledgeable, fine character, easily available. The attorney must have an understand of highly manipulative, lying deceitful individuals. 

Keep detailed records of all assets including, properties, trusts, bank accounts, cash, investments, expenses. 

Know that you are going to get through this long race and that you will be victorious. 

Practice consistent self care: good sleep, rest when you can, nourishing food, good hydration, exercise that works for you, expressive writing, time in Nature, creative activities that are rewarding. Spend time with friends you trust. 

Give yourself tremendous credit for running and winning the full divorce marathon from a covert narcissist spouse. 

Click below for my new print book of Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist on Amazon

https://tinyurl.com/2p92ymam

Click below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, a high quality and comprehensive group of shows of podcasts on every facet of mental health. I am honored to have my show: The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast on this magnificent network. 

www.mhnrnetwork.com

The high level narcissists is always boiling over with rage at some level. One incident real or invented takes him/her over the top and the malevolent projections begin.  They are directed mainly at his spouses and children. These unconscious projections cause their recipients great emotional pain. Volley after volley come out of their mouths. They are unstoppable. Fulminating is one of the narcissist's frequen activities. Being the child of a high level narcissist unsettles every nerve in your body. You are living in a war zone. Bombardments of volcanic rage are coming at you. Living under these circumstances as a small child is bewildering and traumatizing.

Along with the chronic rage is the high level narcissist's restlessness. The minds of these individuals are never still. They jump from one activity to th enext, conjuring their plots and plans to make sure that they remain superior to everyone else. When they are not scheming, they ar running about these individuals are never still. They jump from one activity to the next, conjuring their plots and plans to make sure that they remain superior to everyone else. When they are not scheming, they are running about buying, spending acquiring power and material largesse. 

You become the newest source of narcissistic supply: adulation, praise, social status. You make them look so good. 

There is a time of deep insight for you in rediscovering the pathways of the true, original, creative self. Practice self care each day.  You are moving forward with the winds of transformation and creativity at your back. 

Click below for my print book: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist on the Amazon page:

https://tinyurl.com/2p92ymam

Click below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, a comprehensive and excellent group of podcast shows on every facet of Mental Health. I am honored to have my show, The Narcissist in your Life Podcast on this great Network. 

www.mhnrnetwork.com

"In nrcissistic personalities the experience of emptiness is most intense...In these cases, emptiness, restlessnesss and boredom constitute...a baseline of pathological narcissistic experience." Otto Kernberg, M.D.

The personalityof the high level narcissist is built on a false grandiose self that begins when this individual is very young. This is particularly the case if he or she is a golden child, that person who is celebrated as perfect by the narcissist parent. This child is like a second coming, a time of triumph for the parent who is convinced that this baby is perfect, amost like a small god. The parent(s) projects his deepest wishes and needs onto this child who in many ways is considered a kind of royalty.

The child is treated differently from the other famil member. Brotheres and sisters of the golden one aren not given the lavish attention, a kind of adoration that is directed at this child. 

The chosen child is never corrected or admonished for bad behaviors, rather rationalizations and excuses are made for him.her. 

The budding narcissist grows up as a false self with an outward rsona that is boorishly self confident, even cocky. Along with these attributes, this golden child is never wrong, at fault never makes mistakes and takes full advantage of others. When the foundations of the peronality are based on the false self, the individual iis incapable of being psychologically grounded ortrue. The false elf rules these personalities. Beneath the surface in the unconscious of the golden child narcissist, the foundation is rocky, empty, lacking psychic roots or genuineness. This personality is ungrounded in reality and as a result the high level narcissist lives in a state of denial along with the use of many degense mechanisms: projection, repression. 

Those who are partnered with, married to or children of these false self narcissists cannot change them since this is a fixed personality constellation.  

At a point of insight and due to your research you recognize that you must choose to move forward and leave the narcissist.  You decide to choose yourself first, your individuality and your many creative gifts. You will no longer be controlled and intimidated by the faslse selves, the projections, multiple lies, rages, humiliations of the high level narcissist. 

Give yourself tremendous credit for your decisions to put yourself first, to heal and restore your true individual self. 

Click below for my current print book, Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist on Amazon.

https://tinyurl.com/2p92ymam

Click below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, an excellent series of shows by podcasters on every facet of Mental Health. I am honored that my show: The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is on this magnificent network.

www.mhnrnetwork.com

Caligula, Attila the Hun, Genghis Khan, Naaapoleon Bonaparte

Absolute control is an obsession with this particular narcissist. They are dictators who don't accept your individuality, independent thiking, psychological and emotional security. 

Verbal threats flow freely when you are dealing with the aggressive predatory narcissist. They never let down, not for a moment. Some of them are like whirling dervishes, moving manically from one activity to the next.

They are drivn to compete without mercy. Everything about them is superior and they let you know how deficient you are. 

Being their partner, spose or child puts one in the far reaches of the sympathetic nervous system mode - the deep well of fear, dread, doubt. 

Be part of the triumph of your individuality--the original self. 

Click below for my currrent paperback on Amazon - Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist

https://tinyurl.com/2p92ymam

Click below for the magnificent Mental Health News Radio Network. I am honored to have my show on this network: The Narcissist in your Life Podcast

www.mhnrnetwork.com

High Level Narcissists crowd our world today. They ar spouses, ex-spouses, relative, bosses, co-workers, spiritual mentors, acquaintances. Our society rewards narcissists handsomely with praise, adulation, celebrity and social status. The high level narcissist's raison d'etre is winning. 

High level narcissists weave grand visions of success that are designed to lead them to stashes of power, prestige and control. Winning electrifies the narcissist; it is the engine, the fire that keeps him/her going. 

High level narcissists are often big picture virtuosos who leave the details and hard work to others. They take advantage of their assistancts by underpaying them and overpromising while they carefully maintain their elite lifestyles. 

Above all, the high level is deceptive in all of his relationships and transactions. He bends the truth with automatic ease. 

Some narcissistic dreams go astray. When the ride gets bumpy or the high level whimsically decides to change course, offices are closed, employees are dumpted without warning, bills, loans and leases are left unpaid. Many are left in severe emotional and financial pain. The high level narcissist is unmoved. He doesn't lose sleep over his debacles. He steps forward and pivots toward his next grand project. 

Protect yourself from becoming enmeshed in the narcissist's destructive web. Learn to identify the highlevel narcissist. 

Remember who you really are. Respect your personal values. Practice self care each day: rest, sleep, nourishing food, hydration, unedited writing, your special music, your creative activities, Nature's beauty, use of your creative gifts. 

Click below for my print book on Amazon, Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist:

https://tinyurl.com/2p92ymam

Click below for the great Mental Health News Radio Network of shows: podcasts and podcasters.  My show The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is on this Network:

www.mhnrnetwork.com

You can wave to them, speak with them at work, have brief social interactions---but narcissists cannot be your friends. Friendship requires trust, time and empathy. Many of us keep giving narcissists more chances despite their self self absorbed, manipulative, deceptive behaviors. Narcissists can be very charming and compelling. They learned early to become a kind of method actor at pretending taht they cared about another individual. This skill serves them very well. Narcissists always want something from you. They are seeking narcissistic supplies: property, valuable social/business connections, monetary largesse. With a narcissist it is all take and no give. You have been discarded by the narcissist and they think nothing of moving on with someone else. You don't deserve this kind of treatment. 

Put your energy into authentic relationships where there is a balance of attention, genuine communication and commitment. You deserve to have friends who respect your individuality, care about your feelings, listen, give you their time and encourage your dreams and creativity and with whom you can be spontaneous, silly, laught, playful, creative, innovative---be your true self. 

Click below for my print book on Amazon: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist

https://tinyurl.com/2p92ymam

Click below for the Mental Health News Radio Network. This is a magnificent group of podcasters on every facet of Mental Health. I am honored that my podcast: The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is one of the shows on this Network:

www.mhnrnetwork.com

Are you or have you been at the mercy of an individual who constantly screams, threatens, demens,humiliates, brags and shames you. Likely, you are dealing with an aggressive overt high level narcissist. They can be described as an obsessive maelstrom of activity. Maelstrom refers to violent turmoil. The literal meaning is "a poerful whirlpool in the sea of a river."

These cruel, highly charged individuals are self obsessed, without conscience, predatory without psychological boundaries---corrosive characters who do not change.

Each day you are existing in the fight or flight, sympathetic nervous system---your adrenaline rushes through, your cortisol runs high, especially when you are trying to sleep. 

Growing up with a narcissistic parent, you never felt safe; you couldn't let down. There was neither privacy nor calmness; no possibility of solitude or a quieting of your nervous system to parasympathetic mode. 

A recent study by the University of Montreal indicates that some individuals are born more aggressive than others. This research indicates that "aggression isn't only learned, but inborn and one's environment can worsen or improve this behavior as one ages." 

The following represents the many manifestations of the high level aggressive narcissist that you have endured: threats, incessant bragging, grandiosity and hubris, winning for self at the expense of others, humiliation as a tool of submission, restlessness, mindlessness, infantile, regressive two year old temper tantrum mode, 

You and other family members are his possessions and under the control of this dictator.

After years of research and insights and the accumulation of excessive psychological and physical stress you make the decision to leave the high level narcissist and take back, renew, restore, transform your true authentic creative self. 

Click below for my print book on amazon: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist

https://tinyurl.com/2p92ymam

Click below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, A series of magnificent shows by podcasters that encompass every facet of Mental Health. I am honored to have my show: The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast on this great network.

www.mhnrnetwork.com