Does it feel impossible that you will ever be able to let your guard down after you have experienced an abusive relationship?

The aftermath of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse, especially if you continue to experience post-separation abuse can leave you feeling hopeless.  And, I am here to tell you that there are some ways to slowly start taking some breaks so that you are not always feeling hypervigilant and like you need to be doing something all the time.

In this episode, you will learn some of the reasons why our hypervigilance sticks around and why it can be anxiety-provoking to give yourself a break.  Listen to hear tips to relax if it feels extremely anxiety-provoking to take a break from monitoring your security cameras or checking your co-parenting app for new emails or documenting every little thing your ex is doing and the resulting behaviors of your child.  

Reconditioning your brain to find times when it is safe to feel safe and remembering that you are doing all the things you need to do already can be extremely helpful in allowing yourself time to let your guard down.  And we discuss the importance of having the right support around you so that when something goes wrong or you are extremely triggered, you know exactly where to go for help.

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
Rising Beyond Facebook
Rising Beyond LinkedIn
Rising Beyond Pinterest

If you're interested in guesting on the show please fill out this form - https://forms.gle/CSvLWWyZxmJ8GGQu7

Enjoy some of our freebies!

• Choosing Your Battles Freebie
• Canned Responses Freebie
• Mic Drop Moments Freebie
• ...

It is absolutely possible to heal and overcome domestic violence.  This is even true for those who have experienced extreme physical violence including gun violence.

In this episode of The Rising Beyond Podcast, I have a conversation with Chantelle Mitchell, a woman who has overcome childhood abuse, sexual abuse, and was stalked and shot by an abusive ex-partner 8 months after the relationship ended.  Chantelle shares her story in order to educate and offer hope so that other women and men do not find themselves in a near-death situation as she did.

We discuss why the common misperceptions around “just leave and you’ll be safe,” what a victim of domestic violence looks like, and that domestic violence only constitutes physical abuse cause victims to remain stuck in these abusive situations.  Chantelle also shares what was most influential on her healing journey in order to help others start this process.

Chantelle was born in Charleston, SC.  She is a motivational speaker, youth advocate, mentor, author, certified life and family coach, and most importantly a mother.  As a young child, love was shown in the most toxic manner and it was the physical, emotional, and sexual abuse that she experienced that set the tone for poor choices and decisions about relationships in her adulthood.  She realized that these decisions did not only affect her but her children as well.  As an “overcomer” of abuse, Chantelle is passionate about educating others on understanding what trauma looks like and how important it is to heal from it.

Where you can find Chantelle:
LinkedIn
Facebook
Instagram 

Show Links:
Power and Control Wheel
Continuum of Violence
Post-separation Abuse Wheel

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
Rising Beyond Facebook
Rising Beyond LinkedIn
Rising Beyond Pinterest

If you're interested in guesting on the show please fill out this form - https://forms.gle/CSvLWWyZxmJ8GGQu7

Enjoy some of our freebies!

• Choosing Your Battles Freebie
• Canned Responses Freebie
• Mic Drop Moments Freebie
• ...

There are so many ways in which victims and survivors of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse are silenced.  And this silence is one of the barriers for true change in our world to happen.

In this episode, we look at the different ways in which victims of domestic violence are silenced within their abusive relationship and by the myths and misconceptions that are still promoted by our media and uninformed professionals.  I address the ways in which the larger system and court system silences victims.  And we look at the gravely sad statistics on the ultimate silencing of victims of domestic violence, the murder of women by their intimate partners.

We end the episode with a look at some of the things that can be done to start breaking the silence and offering a place where survivors can find their voice and support.

Show Link:
https://www.unodc.org/documents/data-and-analysis/statistics/crime/UN_BriefFem_251121.pdf

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
Rising Beyond Facebook
Rising Beyond LinkedIn
Rising Beyond Pinterest

If you're interested in guesting on the show please fill out this form - https://forms.gle/CSvLWWyZxmJ8GGQu7

Enjoy some of our freebies!

• Choosing Your Battles Freebie
• Canned Responses Freebie
• Mic Drop Moments Freebie
• ...

There is a misconception that the abuse ends after you leave a domestic violence relationship.  Unfortunately, this is not the case, especially when you share children with them.  Your life will be affected in ways you may not have realized until you face a specific situation.  

One of the issues that comes up for separated families is not knowing how to manage the holiday season as a separated family.  This can be difficult for any family who is recently divorced or separated but can be extremely difficult when you have separated or divorced an abusive partner.  It is typical in domestic violence relationships that the abusive partner will find a way to ruin important events, especially if the attention is drawn away from them and if the event or holiday is really important to you.

Originally in recording this episode, it was an interview with a momma who has been out of her abusive relationships for years, and I thought we would be able to play it straight through as I typically do.  We were thrown a wrench in the situation and her abusive ex filed a motion a few days after we recorded which would make airing the episode in full potentially dangerous for my guest and her family.  And, my guest, we’ll call her Rachel, still wanted to share her experience and important information from our conversation.  So, we were creative and changed what we needed to change so that you can find ideas and inspiration in creating a special holiday time with your children while also keeping her safe.

I hope you enjoy this episode.

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
Rising Beyond Facebook
Rising Beyond LinkedIn
Rising Beyond Pinterest

If you're interested in guesting on the show please fill out this form - https://forms.gle/CSvLWWyZxmJ8GGQu7

Enjoy some of our freebies!

• Choosing Your Battles Freebie
• Canned Responses Freebie
• Mic Drop Moments Freebie
• ...

How often have you wondered if your narcissistic partner can change? 

In this episode, you will gain some insight and perspective to relieve this confusion, doubt, and other difficult feelings when your abusive ex-partner seems to have an amazing and healthy new relationship.

You find out through Facebook stalking or when your ex-partner shows up to grab the kids for their parenting time and they are in another relationship.  And the relationship, from the outside, looks amazing and perfect.

You might think, “there must be something wrong with me if they can have the relationship they promised me with this other person.”

You think back to all of the things that you tried to fix the relationship and to support your ex-partner.  And it causes a lot of confusion and doubt about who you are and your level of blame for the abuse and the end of the relationship.

Is it possible that their picture-perfect relationship is not as it seems?  Can they actually change?   

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/
https://www.instagram.com/risingbeyondpc/
https://www.facebook.com/risingbeyondpowerandcontrol
https://www.linkedin.com/in/sybil-cummin-lpc-acs-50537791/
https://www.pinterest.com/RisingBeyondPC 

Our FREE Download:

Free Roadmap to Communicating with your Narcissistic Ex https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/free.html 

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
Rising Beyond Facebook
Rising Beyond LinkedIn
Rising Beyond Pinterest

If you're interested in guesting on the show please fill out this form - https://forms.gle/CSvLWWyZxmJ8GGQu7

Enjoy some of our freebies!

• Choosing Your Battles Freebie
• Canned Responses Freebie
• Mic Drop Moments Freebie
• ...

After experiencing domestic violence or narcissistic abuse, women typically feel completely beat down, broken and scared.  The idea of empowerment may not even seem possible.  And, my guest, Jaime Hobbs has worked with countless victims of domestic violence and other violence and has seen women become more confident and empowered in a single day.

Jaime shares her experience with us as a self-defense and self-empowerment instructor including things like situational awareness and listening to our gut in order to stay safe.  Jaime also shares some tips in speaking with law enforcement after an abusive incident based in her experiences as an on-scene victim advocate for local law enforcement.

Jaime was born and raised in Kansas City, Missouri and has made Colorado home since 2002. In addition to over a decade in Emergency Communications (911), trained in active shooter response, crisis negotiations, sexual assault response, and more, Jaime is also an on-scene Victim Advocate for two other local police departments and has a background in rape crisis and domestic violence assistance. Jaime co-owns Paragon Defense and has been teaching women's safety and self defense in both the private and public sector since 2012.

Find More of Jamie Here:
Website - https://www.paragonselfdefense.com/
FaceBook - https://www.facebook.com/paragondefensecolorado
Instagram - @paragondefense

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
Rising Beyond Facebook
Rising Beyond LinkedIn
Rising Beyond Pinterest

If you're interested in guesting on the show please fill out this form - https://forms.gle/CSvLWWyZxmJ8GGQu7

Enjoy some of our freebies!

• Choosing Your Battles Freebie
• Canned Responses Freebie
• Mic Drop Moments Freebie
• ...

As you heal from domestic violence or narcissistic abuse it is common to start reevaluating the relationships in your life.  You may start to notice that there are others in your world that are abusive to you in different ways which may cause a lot of hurt and anger.

In this episode you will get some ideas on how to assess your current relationships and how they either positively or negatively affect your life.  With this new information, you will then be able to decide what role these people will get to play in your life and the lives of your children.

We discuss the difference between going no-contact and having a detached contact in your relationships and will offer different strategies for making this decision and how to hold firm to your decision.  Some of the strategies for maintaining a detached relationship are:

• Asking yourself what support you will need to maintain emotional distance while being in the presence of the person
• Identifying and challenging your cognitive distortions
• Learning to regulate your nervous system and trauma responses
• Managing your expectations
• Using radical acceptance

Show Links

Book: Healing From Hidden Abuse by Shannon Thomas

https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Hidden-Abuse-Recovery-Psychological/dp/0997829087/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2MPSD4CEYN4W0&keywords=healing+from+hidden+abuse&qid=1665419749&qu=eyJxc2MiOiIyLjQyIiwicXNhIjoiMS45NyIsInFzcCI6IjEuODgifQ%3D%3D&sprefix=healing+from+%2Caps%2C177&sr=8-1

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
Rising Beyond Facebook
Rising Beyond LinkedIn
Rising Beyond Pinterest

If you're interested in guesting on the show please fill out this form - https://forms.gle/CSvLWWyZxmJ8GGQu7

Enjoy some of our freebies!

• Choosing Your Battles Freebie
• Canned Responses Freebie
• Mic Drop Moments Freebie
• ...

It can be extremely difficult to set boundaries after you have experienced domestic violence or narcissistic abuse.  Your partner crossed every boundary you have ever tried to set and conditioned you to give up your boundaries with them altogether.  

And, boundaries are an important part of the healing process from relationship abuse and can help prevent you from being taken advantage of in the future.  

In this episode, you will learn the importance of setting firm and compassionate boundaries for your future life and relationships and how setting boundaries positively affects your self-worth.

This episode will provide tangible tips for setting boundaries that you can use immediately to help you feel more confident during this process.  These tips are:

• Slowing things down
• Becoming Aware
• Making a list of priorities
• Staying on topic
• Planning ahead
• Maintaining realistic expectations
• Practice, practice, practice
• Setting and following through with consequences

Show Links:

Boundaries of Steel: A Workbook for Managing and Recovering from Toxic Relationships
https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Steel-Workbook-Recovering-Relationships/dp/1734571438/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3GYF97PYGE8MD&keywords=boundaries+of+steel+by+cathy+wilson&qid=1665419079&qu=eyJxc2MiOiIwLjAwIiwicXNhIjoiMC4wMCIsInFzcCI6IjAuMDAifQ%3D%3D&sprefix=Boundaries+of+s%2Caps%2C178&sr=8-1

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
Rising Beyond Facebook
Rising Beyond LinkedIn
Rising Beyond Pinterest

If you're interested in guesting on the show please fill out this form - https://forms.gle/CSvLWWyZxmJ8GGQu7

Enjoy some of our freebies!

• Choosing Your Battles Freebie
• Canned Responses Freebie
• Mic Drop Moments Freebie
• ...

Bringing home a new baby is hard and can cause a strain on your relationship with your partner.  But is the strain and conflict normal in your relationship or is it abusive?

If there is domestic violence or narcissistic abuse in your relationship, you will not only experience the “normal hard” of bringing a baby into your family, you will likely experience a significant increase in abuse and lack of help in taking care of your new child.

Christie and I discuss what the “normal hard” looks like, some steps you can take to improve your relationship with your partner, what abuse may look like in this situation, and what you need to look for to make decisions about remaining in your relationship.

Christie Sears Thompson, LMFT
As not only a therapist but also a wife and mother, I have seen first-hand the importance of a strong family foundation. My main goal in forming The Partnerhood coaching program and working with couples in my private practice is to help couples achieve genuine connection, communicate more effectively, and create the relationships they want to have so this foundation can carry them through the storms that life will inevitably throw at them.

Websites:
www.thepartnerhood.com
www.tradewindstherapy.com

The Partnerhood Workbook

https://www.amazon.com/Partnerhood-Workbook-resources-knowledge-successful/dp/B08QBPSBDF/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1AY59OIIKH9TG&keywords=The+partnerhood+workbook&qid=1662222198&sprefix=the+partnerhood+workbook%2Caps%2C156&sr=8-1

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
Rising Beyond Facebook
Rising Beyond LinkedIn
Rising Beyond Pinterest

If you're interested in guesting on the show please fill out this form - https://forms.gle/CSvLWWyZxmJ8GGQu7

Enjoy some of our freebies!

• Choosing Your Battles Freebie
• Canned Responses Freebie
• Mic Drop Moments Freebie
• ...

Shame is the bread and butter of a narcissistic and abusive partner.  It prevents you from leaving the relationship by decreasing your self-worth and maintaining the secrecy of the abuse.

Our lizard brains are constantly looking out for signs of danger vs safety and will have us behave in ways to maintain as much safety in any given situation, even if it doesn’t feel congruent with your value system.  As a way to manage the state of cognitive dissonance, your brain may also focus on the positive times with your partner rather than the abuse.  So, the behaviors we do make sense in the situation and may not feel positive to you now that you are out or as you are evaluating your role in the relationship.

In this episode, you will learn ways to start to decrease the shame you hold that is stalling your healing process.  

• Stop comparing your current self that understands how abusive relationships work with the before you
• Start challenging your shameful thoughts 
• Reframe the behaviors that feel shameful as survival strategies
• Sharing your shame stories with safe people

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
Rising Beyond Facebook
Rising Beyond LinkedIn
Rising Beyond Pinterest

If you're interested in guesting on the show please fill out this form - https://forms.gle/CSvLWWyZxmJ8GGQu7

Enjoy some of our freebies!

• Choosing Your Battles Freebie
• Canned Responses Freebie
• Mic Drop Moments Freebie
• ...