You can’t wait to meet HIM. The ONE. He’ll be attractive and put together and communicative, self-assured but also safe. But here’s the thing; if you’re holding him to high standards, chances are he’s holding you to the same.

So are you in a place to accept his healthy affection? Are you in a place where you can meet the same standards you have set for him? Are you prepared to enter into a relationship with confidence? In this episode we’ll look closer at: 

• How finding something and holding something are very different
• How standards for him are also standards for you

A decent man expects you to be able to communicate with a healthy side of vulnerability as needed. Acting out to test boundaries? Nah. Avoiding conflict because it makes you uncomfortable? He doesn’t dig it.

He’s not here to be your father, just like you’re not here to be his mother. You both want equal partners. This is why the relationship is healthy and balanced, but also why you’re expected to communicate in healthy and productive ways.

Join my signature 12-week program, The Connected Woman. If you’re ready to go from anxious & insecure in your relationships to setting boundaries, healing yourself and living your dream life, sign up here: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

EPISODE RESOURCES:

Take the Attachment Style Quiz: https://www.attachedthebook.com/wordpress/compatibility-quiz/

Well, well, well. If it isn’t the blessed 50% of the population. You lucky, securely attached bastards. You think you’re cooler than the rest of us? I mean, you’re not wrong. But, the truth is, you’re the goal. And we can allll reach that goal. It’s just gonna take a little work. In this episode I go more into:

• What being securely attached actually means
• How securely attached people show up in relationships 

Basically, because they were actually raised as autonomous persons and their emotions were honored, they grew up feeling heard and learned to trust with discerning inhibition (lucky). If you aren’t blessed enough to fall into this category, it can seem like a daunting task to try and achieve such a confident way to relate to others. But I promise it’s very possible.

You can love and be loved the way you want. You can get over your fear of intimacy without sacrificing self-preservation. 

You deserve all of that and more, and building off of everything that got you here with more awareness and self-love will go a long way. And to all of you securely attached people, there’s still some work you could be doing too. But you’ll have to go listen to find out what ;) 

No matter your attachment style, we all have a little work to do. Strengthen your relationships, enjoy vulnerability, heal yourself and live your dream life, sign up for my program The Connected Woman here: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

EPISODE RESOURCES:

Take the Attachment Style Quiz: https://www.attachedthebook.com/wordpress/compatibility-quiz/

Oh, you fearful-avoidant unicorns. You are a small percentage of the population. So small, but mightily terrible. I’m so sorry. Let’s break down your particular cross to bear.

Yet again, we’re going up against a traumatic childhood, however, this one is mainly fear-based trauma.  You likely had parents who loved to overshare (resulting in parentification of you, the child), when they felt like it. So now, you’re a commitment cretan who can’t decide if you want connection or to run for the hills. In this episode we’ll talk:

• About more tendencies of the fearful-avoidant 
• How to overcome 

You can love and be loved the way you want. You can get over your fear of intimacy without sacrificing self-preservation. 

You deserve all of that and more, and building off of everything that got you here with more awareness and self-love will go a long way. 

If you’re ready to go from void of emotion and avoiding connection in your relationships, to enjoying vulnerability, healing yourself and living your dream life, sign up for my program The Connected Woman here: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

EPISODE RESOURCES:

Take the Attachment Style Quiz: https://www.attachedthebook.com/wordpress/compatibility-quiz/

And we’re back, analyzing new ways our parents meant well but ultimately set us up for failure… Did you have parents who made sure you were physically fine, and then blatantly neglected you for the other stuff?

Maybe they thought they were making you independent, maybe they were relating to you the only way they knew how, but now here you are, stuffing down all your feelings and straight-up avoiding real connection. 

Yep, we’re going to talk about dismissive avoidant attachment: 

• How and why you became an avoider
• How to stop avoiding, heal, and truly enjoy personal connections

And no, it’s not going to be an all-out verbal brawl against your parents, they did their best. But their best might have had unintentional fallout that is affecting you and your ability to relate to people (as well as date them). 

So we have to acknowledge and process that before we can even start to move forward. Meet yourself where you’re at, and let’s get to work.

If you’re ready to go from void of emotion and avoiding connection in your relationships, to enjoying vulnerability, healing yourself and living your dream life, sign up for my program The Connected Woman here: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

EPISODE RESOURCES:

Take the Attachment Style Quiz: https://www.attachedthebook.com/wordpress/compatibility-quiz/

Oh, mommy (and daddy) issues. They did their best, they really did, but the cold hard fact is that if you were raised with parents who gave you inconsistent support, you probably have anxious attachment issues now.

When you’re taught that your own thoughts and feelings are “too much” you begin to censor yourself; you try and make yourself palatable to the world around you. And you also begin to distrust your own intuition. F*ck.

Well, we’re going to go more into this on today's episode when we talk about:

• Signs you’re repeating anxious attachment patterns with partners
• How to overcome and heal from anxious attachment trauma

The journey to self-respect and self-trust may seem perilous, maybe impossible… But if you cultivate a support system of friends (my program, The Connected Woman, is a great place to start!) and learn to slowly share bits of who you really are with people who love you, eventually you’ll come out on top.

And by “on top” I mean you’ll no longer assume everyone around you has ill intent and plans on saying they love you to your face before disappearing off the face of the planet, as you dissolve into a needy, weepy, codependent mess.

Totally not speaking from experience, not at all. Nope. 

And if you’re ready to go from anxious & insecure in your relationships to setting boundaries, healing yourself and living your dream life, sign up for my program The Connected Woman here: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

EPISODE RESOURCES:

Take the Attachment Style Quiz: https://www.attachedthebook.com/wordpress/compatibility-quiz/

Online dating. So much potential. So much danger. In order to make sure you’re not matching with people who are wildly inappropriate for you (hold onto your butts here, I’m about to blow your mind) you have to actually be honest about what you want and who you are. 

Ugh, vulnerability. Why is vulnerability always the answer? Sorry kid, but in order to find “the one” you’re going to have to try and be honest instead of the “cool girl” — not that you’re not cool, but when you try to force it the authenticity just isn’t there. We’re humans, not male-authored characters in a fantasy series.

In this episode we’ll take a closer look at:

• Why honesty is the necessity in your dating profile
• Why mental games serve no one in a relationship

You’re gonna get there, friend, but in order to do so you have to stop standing in your own way. Whether that’s catering your personality to be palatable for men, or playing games to hold the upper hand, you’ve got to stop (Do you want to be a girlfriend or a Bond villain?). And learn to embrace and proudly present the truest, most authentic version of you from the very beginning of your entrance into the dating scene. 

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

Join my signature 12-week program, The Connected Woman. If you’re ready to go from anxious & insecure in your relationships to setting boundaries, healing yourself and living your dream life, sign up here: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

Stop. Putting. Him. Up. There.

On today’s episode of the Unf*ck Your Relationships podcast, we’re talking about pedestals and why you shouldn’t put men up there (but girl, we can understand the urge to do so).

No one is perfect, and if all you focus on is the good and build it up to mean more than it does, you’ll never make a genuine connection.

On this episode, I’ll explain in detail:

• Why we pedestal men
• What happens when we do

HINT: Nothing good

You can’t genuinely know or love a person if you can’t be yourself around them. 

Please stop shrinking your soul so his can shine.

And remember, he’s a human with human flaws. He farts. He pees. He gets the stomach flu. He probably wore puka shells in the early years when he believed that they were “the in thing.” 

All the good qualities you love in him, are in you.

Find someone who wants to enhance them, not overshadow them. And most importantly, make sure you remain true to what you need & desire most in your relationships, while continuing to embody your purest form of what makes you, you!

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

Join my signature 12-week program, The Connected Woman. If you’re ready to go from anxious & insecure in your relationships to setting boundaries, healing yourself and living your dream life, sign up here: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

On today’s episode of the Unf*ck Your Relationships podcast, we’re talking about how to give up the ghost — of a relationship, that is.

While it’s probably gone on forever, these days the term for disappearing when dating is termed ghosting, and it can really throw you for a loop. Dating is hard enough without wondering why you and a dude couldn't stop texting one minute and the next he’s nowhere to be found. What gives?!

On this episode we’ll get into:

• Potential reasons for the ghosting (hint: not your fault)
• How to deal and grow from ghosting
• Knocking down that pedestal we put men on

Dating is like the Wild West. It’s confusing, lawless, thrilling, and frustrating. But I’m here to hopefully make it a bit more bearable when a guy goes radio silent on you. 

Confusing? Yes, but it’s actually a commentary on him, not you. Stop internalizing his bad behavior, and remember that as long as your relationship with yourself is strong, you can process and grow from anything he (or the universe) throws your way.

If you have enjoyed this episode of the podcast, take a screenshot, head on over to my Instagram and share it on your IG stories and tag me, @michellepanning

And if you love what you learned, be sure to hit that follow button so you never miss a future episode, and leave a review to help me reach more passionate women just like you who want to heal their relationship patterns so they can have REAL intimacy with men. 

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

Join my signature 12-week program, The Connected Woman. If you’re ready to go from anxious & insecure in your relationships to setting boundaries, healing yourself and living your dream life, sign up here: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

On today’s episode of the Unf*ck Your Relationships podcast, we’re talking about how to deal when you get your heart broken. Whether you were the initiator, on the receiving end, or the series finale was a mutual decision; breakups are tough to handle.

All the questions, self-doubt, and paranoia invade your brain, in between pints of cookie dough ice cream and “Legally Blonde” viewings... tears in your eyes, yearning in vain for the power Elle Woods wielded in the laptop scene (RIP fun Macbooks). But guess what, that can be you!

Here are a few things we cover in this episode:

• How processing the hurt and anger is how you heal
• How to cultivate a better relationship with yourself
• How to reframe and see what you can learn from it

If this episode finds you going through a breakup in real time, I hope it offers some hope and comfort. And I hope that even if you’re happily committed, it helps you remember that ultimately, your most important relationship is with yourself. 

If you have enjoyed this episode of the podcast, take a screenshot, head on over to my Instagram and share it on your IG stories and tag me, @michellepanning

And if you love what you learned, be sure to hit that follow button so you never miss a future episode, and leave a review to help me reach more passionate women just like you who want to heal their relationship patterns so they can have REAL intimacy with men. 

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

Join my signature 12-week program, The Connected Woman. If you’re ready to go from anxious & insecure in your relationships to setting boundaries, healing yourself and living your dream life, sign up here: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships Podcast, I’m getting vulnerable. Like, really vulnerable. Here’s the deal; I have herpes. And you know what? It’s actually not the clusterfuck your high school health teacher warned you about. I still have fulfilling intimate relationships, and it’s even taught me to be in tune with my body’s needs in a new way. Am I endorsing you going out and intentionally getting yourself some syphilis tomorrow? No. But I am telling you if you have or contract one, STIs are common,  manageable, and in no way life (or love) ending.

Here’s what we’ll cover:

• How to approach STIs with a partner without making them run for the hills. 
• Remember that you’re not a human biohazard just because you have an STI.

Stigma and shame can steal so much from your life if you let it. Let’s remind each other that we are powerful, beautiful women who have nothing to apologize for, even if we’re  living with an STI. Don’t let that shame take a potentially fulfilling relationship from you, because you deserve to have everything you want no matter what! 

If you have enjoyed this episode of the podcast, take a screenshot, head on over to my Instagram and share it on your IG stories and tag me, @michellepanning

And if you love what you learned, be sure to hit that follow button so you never miss a future episode, and leave a review to help me reach more passionate women just like you who want to heal their relationship patterns so they can have REAL intimacy with men. 

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

EPISODE RESOURCES:

STI Educator - Emily L. Depasse: https://instagram.com/sexelducation

Join my signature 12-week program, The Connected Woman. If you’re ready to go from anxious & insecure in your relationships to setting boundaries, healing yourself and living your dream life, sign up here: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman