Heather is back in the studio in LA and more unhinged than ever! Today we are discussing the role Heather was meant to play, why people who wear glasses are really just liars, and reminiscing on stories from the tour. Buckle your seatbelts folks and dont forget - your'e lying to yourself if you dont think you need therapy.

 

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Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is back in California drinking Wine with the Kardashians. Fresh off a 3 show run in Dallas- She breaks down the funniest shit that happened in the Lone Star state and explains why every nail salon owner wears slippery Nikes. Did you also know Texas dip their chips in butter? 

 

You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save FIFTEEN DOLLARS OFF your first month’s subscription -- this is their best offer ANYWHERE and it is only available to US customers for a limited time.

 

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Less money, less worries, MORE beach. Book today at CheapCaribbean.com.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast Heather raises some mild suspicions that an older generation of first class passengers have it in for her. She can't tell if they are trying to intimidate her back to coach or if she is really in the wrong. Fresh off a wonderful weekend touring she's hitting the hotline with all of your issues! 

 

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Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely.

 

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Right now, you can get 20% off your first order when you go to Blueland.com/absolutely.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews her dear friend Jorge Collazo, about his years in the hotel biz and what it's like to date on a tiny island. Ever wondered what Grindr in the Caribbean has to offer? Don't you worry- Jorge has done the work for you! There's lots of giggles and some endearing reminders to put your feet in the sand and not take life so seriously! 

 

Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY and turn healthy habits into a Ritual.

 

Go to Framebridge.com and use promo code ABSOLUTELY to save an additional 15% off your first order.

 

Less money, less worries, MORE beach. Book today at CheapCaribbean.com.

 

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the absolutely not podcast Heather is back from a tryst with Santa and hopped up on supplements & a hope and a prayer. Everyone is panicked about the dumpster fire of the beginning of this year- but here we are holding on for dear life, full of acid reflux and optimism, damnitt! 

 

Go to Squarespace.com/ABSONOT for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code ABSONOT to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

 

Refresh your rest with the comfort essentials from Brooklinen. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot for $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100.

 

Visit talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month when you use promo code absolutely at sign up. 

 

What are you waiting for? Join the Movement and get 20% off your first 4 orders when you go to IMPERFECTFOODS.COM and use promo code ABSOLUTELY.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this final episode of the Absolutely Not podcast of 2021- Heather ends the year strong- on an emotional rollercoaster of barely holding her shit together. It's obvious all of the listeners are fully spiraling as well - like the High School Musical says "were all in this together". Whether you're fighting omicron or just fighting with your family, Heather takes to the Absolutely NOT line to set the record straight! 

 

Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely.

 

Go to getcanopy.co today and use code ABSOLUTELY10 for an extra 10% off at checkout. Your skin will thank you!

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's the end of the year and Heather is filled with all the warm fuzzies! Tune in for her year in review - she's talking gratitude and getting real about coping with the pressure of the industry. Plus, were chatting poultry, UHauls and parental dating on the Absolutely Not Line! 

 

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Get $10 off your first product order of $50 or more on italic.com with code ABSOLUTELYNOT. 

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is answering all of your questions on the Absolutely Not line and noticing a common theme- That white trash scammer named Trish. Turns out she is bugging everyone  this year with her antics while she smokes menthols outside of the Buick enclave. She's a scammer, a lover and loves raw meat. You'll understand when you take a listen... 

 

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We’ve worked out a special deal for my listeners. Receive 20% off PLUS Free Shipping SITE WIDE. I recommend trying one of their best selling variety packs, it’s a great way to try all of their delicious flavors. Go to JUNESHINE.com/ABSOLUTELY or use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout to claim this deal.

 

Match with a licensed therapist when you go to talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month with the promo code ABSOLUTELY.

 

Don’t miss out, Brooklinen’s biggest sale of the year is here! Listening after the sale? You can still save. Visit Brooklinen.com and use Promo code absolutelynot for $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this special bonus episode, Robin joins Heather to discuss her goals for 2022 and why she should be running a youth detention center. On the voicemails we are talking bad wedding guests, kissin' cousins and unfortunate tattoos. The holidays are upon us and the Absolutely Not's are more unhinged than ever!

 

Go to getcanopy.co to save $25 on your Canopy Humidifier purchase today when you opt into a replacement filter subscription. You’ll receive a replacement filter every 6 weeks (right when it’s time for a new one) PLUS, you’ll receive a free aroma kit to be used with Canopy Humidifier’s built-in aroma diffuser.

 

Go to athleticgreens.com/absolutely for a fee 1 year supply of immune supporting Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh from her tour of the Florida and Carolina coasts. It was a wild weekend of live, laugh, lovin. Heather remembers  growing up as an organic kid looking for their chemical fix. There are lots of trigger warnings in this episode from the sweaty kid in PE to a bitch not letting you drink red wine at her wedding. Buckle up and don't listen if you're easily offended.   

Get 20% off your first order by visiting foriawellness.com/ABSOLUTELY OR use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.

 

Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY25 and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY25” at checkout for 25% off your order

 

Go to Thepillclub.com/ABSOLUTELY, to get your first birth control care package and donate to help more women in need of affordable birth control.

 

Get 20% off your first mani system when you use promo code ABSOLUTELY at oliveandjune.com

 

Produced by Dear Media.     

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.