Absolutely Not

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather tries her best to understand what the absolute fuck is going on- but it's pretty much all a big Absolutely NOT. She hits the hotline to see if y'alls problems are any better.. news flash- they aren't. We've got peeping toms, angry tennis coaches and ex's who won't leave us alone!

Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to Modern Fertility dot com slash absolutely.

Match with a licensed therapist when you go to talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month with the promo code ABSOLUTELY.

Upgrade your bra today and get 20% off your first order today at ThirdLove.com/absolutley

Less money, less worries, MORE beach. Book today at CheapCaribbean.com.

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Heather sits down with Harvey Guillen to talk about the struggles of working in the industry and their hilarious Bone, Marry, Bury picks.

Make sure to check Bone, Marry, Bury anywhere you can find podcasts.

Head to Squarespace.com/ABSONOT for a free trial when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code ABSONOT to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Don’t sleep on savings. Brooklinen’s Presidents’ Day Sale is happening now. Listening after the sale? Get the deals of your dreams at Brooklinen.com with promo code absolutelynot

You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save FIFTEEN DOLLARS OFF your first month’s subscription -- this is their best offer ANYWHERE and it is only available to US customers for a limited time.

Daily Harvest makes it easy to feel good about what I’m doing for myself and the planet. Go to DailyHarvest.com/absolutely to get up to forty dollars off your first box!  

Right now, Embark has a limited time offer on their Breed and Health Kit and Purebred Kit for our listeners! Go to EmbarkVet.com to get free shipping and save $50 with promo code [ABSOLUTELY].

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Heather is back in the studio and joined by the Georgia Law Lady herself, Ashley McMahan. And as usual when these two get together, hilarity ensues.

Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY and turn healthy habits into a Ritual. 

Foria is offering a special deal for our listeners. Get 20% off your first order by visiting www.foriawellness.com/ABSOLUTELY OR use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.

Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Less money, less worries, MORE beach when you book at CheapCaribbean.com

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Heather is joined by fellow comedian Ali Kolbert to talk all things comedy, and the real tea about being a woman in the industry. Prepare for many laughs ahead! 

Check out The Ali Kolbert Show anywhere you get your podcasts to hear more from Ali. 

Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely.

Go to catalinacrunch.com/ABSOLUTELY for 15% off your first order— plus FREE shipping!

Right now, you can get 20% off your first order when you go to Blueland.com/absolutely.

Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Heather is back in the studio in LA and more unhinged than ever! Today we are discussing the role Heather was meant to play, why people who wear glasses are really just liars, and reminiscing on stories from the tour. Buckle your seatbelts folks and dont forget - your'e lying to yourself if you dont think you need therapy.

Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot for $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100.

Visit Talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month when you use promo code absolutely at sign up. 

To make it easy, Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/absolutely.

What are you waiting for? Join the Movement and get 20% off your first 4 orders when you go to imperfectfoods.com and use promo code ABSOLUTELY.

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is back in California drinking Wine with the Kardashians. Fresh off a 3 show run in Dallas- She breaks down the funniest shit that happened in the Lone Star state and explains why every nail salon owner wears slippery Nikes. Did you also know Texas dip their chips in butter? 

You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save FIFTEEN DOLLARS OFF your first month’s subscription -- this is their best offer ANYWHERE and it is only available to US customers for a limited time.

Go to DAILYHARVEST.com/absolutely to get up to forty dollars off your first box!

FORIA is offering a special deal for our listeners. Get 20% off your first order by visiting foriawellness.com/ABSOLUTELY OR use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.

Less money, less worries, MORE beach. Book today at CheapCaribbean.com.

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast Heather raises some mild suspicions that an older generation of first class passengers have it in for her. She can't tell if they are trying to intimidate her back to coach or if she is really in the wrong. Fresh off a wonderful weekend touring she's hitting the hotline with all of your issues! 

G to Squarespace.com/absonot for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code ABSONOT to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely.

Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/absolutely.

Right now, you can get 20% off your first order when you go to Blueland.com/absolutely.

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews her dear friend Jorge Collazo, about his years in the hotel biz and what it's like to date on a tiny island. Ever wondered what Grindr in the Caribbean has to offer? Don't you worry- Jorge has done the work for you! There's lots of giggles and some endearing reminders to put your feet in the sand and not take life so seriously! 

Right now Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY and turn healthy habits into a Ritual.

Go to Framebridge.com and use promo code ABSOLUTELY to save an additional 15% off your first order.

Less money, less worries, MORE beach. Book today at CheapCaribbean.com.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the absolutely not podcast Heather is back from a tryst with Santa and hopped up on supplements & a hope and a prayer. Everyone is panicked about the dumpster fire of the beginning of this year- but here we are holding on for dear life, full of acid reflux and optimism, damnitt! 

Go to Squarespace.com/ABSONOT for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code ABSONOT to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Refresh your rest with the comfort essentials from Brooklinen. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot for $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100.

Visit talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month when you use promo code absolutely at sign up. 

What are you waiting for? Join the Movement and get 20% off your first 4 orders when you go to IMPERFECTFOODS.COM and use promo code ABSOLUTELY.

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this final episode of the Absolutely Not podcast of 2021- Heather ends the year strong- on an emotional rollercoaster of barely holding her shit together. It's obvious all of the listeners are fully spiraling as well - like the High School Musical says "were all in this together". Whether you're fighting omicron or just fighting with your family, Heather takes to the Absolutely NOT line to set the record straight! 

Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely.

Go to getcanopy.co today and use code ABSOLUTELY10 for an extra 10% off at checkout. Your skin will thank you!

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.