Absolutely Not

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather Breaks down what's been happening these past two weeks. It's a RAW AND REAL episode full of zero medical advice, lots of sweating and saying the F* word as many times as humanly possible. If you hate honesty, keep scrolling.    

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Go check out their website at www.usualwines.com and use my discount code “ABSOLUTELY” for $8 off your first order and try your first glass on us!

 

Receive 25% off ​your entire first purchase or Super Coffee. To claim this deal go to DRINKSUPERCOFFEE.com/​ABSOLUTELY​ or use code ​ABSOLUTELY ​at checkout.

 

Head over to WOO More Play and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off! 

 

Get key nutrients–without the B.S. Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off during your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY to start your Ritual today.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ask and you shall receive! This week, Heather is responding to YOUR voicemails on the Absolutely Not Line. Buckle up, hunker down and get ready to laugh your tush off! 

 

Check out Olipop and get 20% off PLUS Free Shipping​ on their best selling variety pack. This is a great way to try all of their delicious flavors. Go to DRINKOLIPOP.com/​ABSOLUTELY​ or use code ABSOLUTELY ​at checkout to claim this deal.

 

For a limited time, Spanx is offering Absolutely Not listeners 10% off their order on spanx.com. Use the code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.

 

Make your home healthier this new year. For a limited time, when my listeners go to Grove.co/ABSOLUTELY you will get a FREE Mrs. Meyer’s gift set plus free shipping with your first order - a $30 value!

 

Head over to WOO More Play and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20 percent OFF your order of WOO Vibez today.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is chatting with her sister, the GA Law Lady about vax'n their mom, basic childhood trauma and finding their inner animal. Ashley is pissed her episode got basically erased last time they recorded so she is coming in extra hot with that fiery attorney energy. This episode is honestly so sisterly silly, so good to luck to ya. 

 

Go to DRINKSUPERCOFFEE.com/​ABSOLUTELY​ or use code ​ABSOLUTELY ​at checkout for 25% off and free shipping! 

 

To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com or download the app. Make sure to use the code ABSOLUTELY to get $100 off of your first month and show your support for the show.

 

Head over to WOO More Play and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20 percent OFF your order of WOO Vibez today.

 

Go to FunctionofBeauty.com/absolutely to take your quiz and save 20% on your first order.

 

Check out the Palmer's Hemp Oil Skincare Collection. You can find these products In Store and online at Walmart, Target, Walgreens or Amazon.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather spins her New Years Wheels straight to crazy town. She has no fucking idea what is happening in the world and is trying to give you sage advice even though her asshole is clenched tighter than a cocaine smuggler from the 80's. The vibe is tense but the jokes are flowing, we've got voicemails and more! 

 

Go to www.blenderbombs.com and receive 20% off your order by using the code ABSOLUTELY.

 

Go check out  www.usualwines.com and use my discount code “ABSOLUTELY” for $8 off your first order and try your first glass on us!

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast Heather sits down with her favorite comedian and BFF Benny Drama to discuss their major glow-ups. Benny is the king of impressions and he gives Heather the in's and outs of who hates him and which Kardashian is on board. lol. He's hilarious and keeps things raw and real! 

 

You deserve to know what’s in your multivitamin. That’s why Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off during your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY to start your Ritual today.

 

Make your home healthier this new year. For a limited time, when my listeners go to Grove.co/ABSOLUTELY you will get a FREE Mrs. Meyer’s gift set plus free shipping with your first order - a $30 value!

 

Go to get getcanopy.co today and use code ABSOLUTELY10 for an extra 10% off at checkout. Your skin will thank you!

 

For a limited time ButcherBox is offering new members their Ultimate Keto Bundle for free when you sign up today at ButcherBox.com/absolutely. That’s up to ten pounds of free meat, including one pork butt, 2 lbs of ground beef and 3 lbs of bone-in chicken thighs all in your first box by going to butcherbox.com/absolutely.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is majorly concerned with Kate Winslet's wellbeing and whereabouts. She answers your insane End of the Year Voicemails and has a slight bit of optimism for the new year... just a tiny bit.  

 

Experience The Purple Grid and you’ll sleep like never before! Go to Purple.com/absolutely10, and use promo code absolutely10. For a limited time you’ll get 10% off any order of $200 or more!

 

Go to getcanopy.co today and use code ABSOLUTELY10 for an extra 10% off at checkout. Your skin will thank you!

 

Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order and free shipping in the US.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Heather is joined by Arielle Lorre, host of The Blonde Files Podcast to talk all things self care, motivation, wellness and how she overcame personal challenges to get to where she is today. She is also a plastic surgery and beauty guru and answers every question you could possibly have about keeping it right and tight! 

 

To check out all my Spanx picks and for 10% off your order plus free shipping and returns, visit spanx.com/absolutely.

 

Experience The Purple Grid and you’ll sleep like never before! Go to Purple.com/absolutely10, and use promo code absolutely10. For a limited time you’ll get 10% off any order of $200 or more!

 

Get your hands on some of GoMacro’s delicious MacroBars by going to gomacro.com and using promo code ABSOLUTELY for 30% off plus free shipping on all orders over $50!

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews dear friend, host of The Bitch Bible Podcast and CYA next Tuesday companion, Jackie Schimmel. And trust and believe they are throwing everyone under the bus.  They have no time for your holiday sympathy but are fully expecting you to show up to their funerals looking FRESH AF! That and more!    

Head over to ​www.blenderbombs.com​ ​and use the code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your first order.

 

Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutely to get 10% off your first order and free shipping.

 

Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order and free shipping in the US.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Heather Sits down with one of her oldest and dearest Delta Gamma sisters, Elizabeth Howard, to discuss the trials and tribulations of online dating with her single sister. SHE IS APPALLED and shocked to find out that men will message you wanting to know about your dental work. NOT OK. They discuss surviving life in college and trying to make it out of 2020 alive!     Go to Framebridge.com and use promo code to save an additional 15% off your first order.  

Give your loved ones the gift of spending time together, wherever you live, with StoryWorth. Get started right away with no shipping required by going to StoryWorth.com/absolutely. You’ll get $10 off your first purchase!

 

Get 20% off your order of DHM Detox and free shipping in the US. Just head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather breaks down the age old question.... "Why exactly does Jeff sleep with tape on his mouth AND still works in New York?" We survived Thanksgiving by the skin on our Turkey Trails and it's clear by the Voicemails that y'all aren't doing so hot either. Someone's lost a leg, others are getting bamboozled.... it's a shit show. That and more!

 

Get 30% off your order and free shipping in the US by heading over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY30 and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY30” at checkout.

 

As a listener of this podcast, you get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com or download the app. Make sure to use the code absolutely to get $100 off your first month and show your support for the show. That’s absolutely and talkspace.com.

 

You can find the Palmer's Hemp Oil products In Store and online at Walmart, Target, Walgreens or Amazon.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.