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In this episode, we tackle the topic of dealing with confusion and complex emotions when an abuser suddenly does a complete 180 in behavior. The goal is to shed light on how to process these emotions, find clarity, and regain control over your feelings.
I discuss how survivors of abuse often find themselves in a state of confusion, questioning their own perceptions and emotions. The circular conversations, gaslighting, and manipulation during the relationship create even more confusion when the abuser's behavior shifts dramatically after a breakup or separation.
Subconscious Beliefs: I emphasize the importance of examining subconscious beliefs that contribute to confusion. Phrases like "maybe it's me" or "maybe it wasn't that bad" are subconscious beliefs disguised as questions. Reframing these beliefs and replacing the "maybe" with confident statements helps regain control over one's thoughts and emotions.
To counter confusion, survivors should remind themselves of the evidence and proof of the abuser's true nature.
I address the common belief in hope for change and the dangers it poses. Clinging to hope can lead to further confusion and disappointment. Recognizing that "I hope" statements are often indicators of subconscious beliefs allows survivors to challenge and change those beliefs, paving the way for clarity.
To overcome confusion when an abuser changes behavior, survivors must examine and challenge their subconscious beliefs. By reframing thoughts, recalling evidence, and letting go of false hope, survivors can regain clarity and control over their emotions. I encourage listeners to focus on their own emotional well-being and provide resources for further support.
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Formerly The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast