Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma Healing

On today's episode Alana and Amie discuss how hold onto your unchanging identity while healing through trauma. 

When you really start latching on to this new world of learning and understanding your trauma and addiction, finding safe circles and safe people and really start to put the puzzle pieces together it starts to create this level of understanding awareness and safety, and It becomes this huge relief!

Women who don't have any identity outside of their trauma or their identity is so linked to the trauma, or so linked to their husband and what he is or isn't doing, or so linked to their children and what they are doing or not doing, or their religion, what we see sometimes is the healing work gets so linked to all of these external pieces that women just really struggle to find who they are at their center. 

So learning how to hold onto your center, who you really are, so you will not get lost in the sometimes deep trenches of trauma work is critical.

Join our discussion today, feel free to share on your story for those who may need this.

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AMIE

ALANA

CHOOSE RECOVERY

Upcoming courses and groups:

Elements of Abuse with Amie Woolsey and Kimberly Day

UnleashingYour Power with Alana Gordon 

Healing After Divorce with Amie Woolsey

Self Betrayal is saying “yes” when you want to say “no,” self sabotaging, ignoring basic needs and self care, lying to yourself, not taking accountability for your actions, and pretending to be something other than your authentic self.

We all do it, but are we AWARE that we do it, and how often? Join the conversation today and Alana and Amie tackle this tough topic.

Trauma brings up big emotions and so there are lots of emotional needs to be. Met. But the more we suppress them the more we are in that self betrayal. So how does self betrayal show up from trauma? That’s what we discuss today.

To register for the Elements Of Abuse Course with Amie and Kim Day that was discussed in this episode click HERE

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Joining the conversation today is style consultant Kristen Watson. Kristen works with women all over, of all ages, stages and sizes. One of the things she notices the most is how often women feel they not only have no idea what their style even is anymore or feel overwhelm when they go shopping which often leads right to self hate, body hate and we stop looking at ourselves. Women have more negative self talk in the dressing room than any other place we go!

We invited Kristen to talk with us about the topic BEING SEEN. Kristen helps women see their strengths and their potential and not your past. We all so badly have wanted to be seen in our relationships and often when women haven't been seen, it's scary to start seeing ourselves first.

As Kristen has worked with Amie in her own personal life it's been another element of healing that has helped Amie to mend the old automatic thoughts that have been around for years. Losing yourself in trauma and feeling betrayal can alter the way you look at yourself even more than you already did. 

You stop seeing what you need, and who you are. You stop looking in your eyes, looking at your body and going through life ignoring yourself. Kristen helps women not just see that they actually can create their own beautiful style but helps women to see themself as beautiful no matter what. 

If you'd like to work with Kristen she has put together a special package for our listeners! Here is her website H Street Chic

For Choose To Be listeners check out her facebook live on January 25th!

Follow Kristen on Instagram HERE

Today's conversation we discuss one of those essential tools as you heal through your trauma. GROUNDING!

But honestly, every human needs this tool! Grounding is so important to practice as trauma throws EVERYTHING off. 

Learning to recognize when you are NOT grounded, centered and in the present is half the battle. This can be difficult to do at first, so no self judgement here! Being aware of how this shows up for you is the first step. We discuss some common signs that can give us this warning. 

Our goal is to stay in this, 'Window of Tolerance', so that we can see reality, make better decisions and move forward. To see the visual worksheet that  shows this concept of the window of tolerance click HERE.

We also talk about some ways to ground that perhaps work for you, but as always, this is your journey and so listen to your own body and create your own grounding rituals. It will absolutely help in your healing and recovery. 

Elements Of Abuse Course with Amie Woolsey and therapist Kimberly Day

Starting February 13th, 20th & 27th

Today we welcome our guest therapist Jody VanDrimmelen MSW, LCSW to discuss how trauma effects the brain and the body. 

There is such a huge impact from betrayal trauma and there are so many that are still learning about how this has effected them. Wherever you are at in your journey, todays episode will definitely add to your understanding and knowledge.  

We will discuss what trauma Is and the triggers that come because of it. So many women struggle to make sense of this and are trying to learn to recognize how their own mind and body responds to their triggers. Everyone will experience this differently so it's important to not compare your trauma to other people trauma.

Trauma responses such as fight, flight and freeze are discussed today, and Jody introduces two more responses that studies have found to also show up as a response to triggers caused by trauma. 

Post traumatic growth is also something that we will talk about and would love for each of you to be able to feel the hope that can come from betrayal trauma and your own healing. Healing IS possible.

In todays episode Alana and Amie have a conversation about what it looks like to thrive and step out of victim mentality. 

When you have been a victim of someone else's choices that created chaos and pain in your life. Sometimes undesirable pain, it's understandable how it feels powerless and overwhelmingly paralyzing. Sometimes the term victim takes on a negative connotation, and so it's a place we can often judge ourselves in. 

There are so many subtle ways that we, often subconsciously, keep ourselves in victim mentality and yet are trying so hard to move forward and can't figure out why it's so difficult. Stepping in to your power and seeing what you do have to move forward, one step at a time, will help you not just survive, but thrive!

Join us today, leaving your own self judgment aside, and with curiosity see what your next move is to step into THRIVING!

Karpman Drama Triangle was referenced today 

Choose Recovery Services

Today Amie shares a brief message during this Christmas season. 

Trauma can bring many nights that are not silently filled with peace. I had so many nights where my mind just wouldn't stop thinking and thinking of all the things that were wrong and could go wrong.

So many things that where going on around me that where not holy, calm or bright. Where peace was absent and filled with chaos and turmoil and there was no sleeping in heavily peace. In fact there was no sleeping.

But we have been shown a way to ground and have been given a baby who eventually shows us how, to have a silent night of His peace. Today I share some thoughts that hopefully will give your heart a moment of grounding and perspective, hope and peace. 

Merry Christmas to you all, we hope you enjoy this mini episode

ONE SPOT LEFT for Alana and Amie's women's retreat! Click HERE for info and to register!

Joining our conversation today are two of Amie's clients, Jeanine and Jori, who talk about their healing journey after divorce. Each of these women were In a place where they wanted to know how to get to that next level of healing and that included dating again. They first did the work to understand themselves and learned to love themselves fiercely. Each of these women overcame their fears of rejection enough to date again and have been able to trust again which has brought incredible joy to their lives and has made all the work they have done worth it!

We hope that wherever you are at in your own healing, even if you are not getting a divorce, as you listen to how they did the work for themselves first, you will be inspired to continue to do your own work. 

If you'd like to join Amie's coaching program that starts January 5th, click the link HERE to register. 

Everyone at Choose is dedicated to your healing journey, check out our team HERE

Today Amie and Alana continue their conversation to those who have loved ones that are trying to understand more of what you, the betrayed, are experiencing. Sometimes it's hard to put into words when you yourself are still trying to figure it out! So we hope that this episode also helps you too. 

Todays episode comes with gratitude for the great feedback we have received from last episode on the topic, yet we had a response from a loved one who has some additional concerns to this topic, and so we thought we would address those In todays episode as there are perhaps more out there who have these same concerns. 

We continue to encourage you to share these episodes with your loved ones to better understand and have empathy for the complexity of the healing that comes with betrayal trauma and the effects of abuse. However their response, please remember that your healing is YOURS and whether people you love support or understand does not have an effect on your ability to heal. 

For individual help please go to Chooserecoveryservices.com and check out our team. 

This episode is specifically for all those who are the family or friends of those suffering from betrayal trauma. When you are the betrayed partner, It's so hard to explain to others what exactly you are or have been experiencing. Often times others might not believe you or know how to help you in your trauma. This can feel very lonely and frustrating. 

Today Alana and Amie have a message to family and friends in hopes to bring more understanding to the seriousness of this experience, as well as offer some ideas on how to help them in healthy ways. We hope that family and friends will be open to hearing more about what you are experiencing and perhaps know how to assist you in your own journey to healing. 

So share this episode with those who are safe and who you want to be apart of your healing.

For more information visit us at Chooserecoveryservices.com