For some people, sexual desire shows up totally spontaneously and out of the blue. But that’s not the case for this week’s listener, who wants to have sex with their girlfriend, but isn't feeling the same excitement as they did at beginning of the relationship. Emily introduces the science of responsive desire, which is not only totally normal and healthy, but also a more common way of experiencing desire.

You can take Petra Zebroff's Questionnaire for Turn-on Initiation Preferences here.

 If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557‬ or send a voice memo to [email protected]. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show. 

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A man is embarrassed about his curved penis, and his partner doesn’t know what to say to him because she’s not sure if the curviness is normal. Emily serves up some real talk about sexual anatomy and explains that we all have the same basic genital parts, regardless of the sex we were assigned at birth. Plus, Emily and her producer, Mo, discuss how to combat poisonous cultural messages about what kinds of bodies are "normal."

If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557‬ or send a voice memo to [email protected]. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The pandemic is really killing the mood and making it hard to prioritize pleasure. A listener calls in about losing the motivation to have sex, even with herself. To help answer the listener's question, Emily introduces groundbreaking research known as the "dual control model" and offers a simple but radical shift in the way we think about horniness. 

If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557‬ or send a voice memo to [email protected]. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show. 

SHOW NOTES: 

Check out Emily’s free worksheets on her website to start applying the science of the dual control model to your own life.

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In this prelude episode, educator and author Dr. Emily Nagoski argues that pleasure is the bedrock of sexual wellbeing. Emily is joined by writer and organizer adrienne maree brown, who offers advice on how to reconnect with pleasure and make it a lifelong practice.

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Sex educator and bestselling author Emily Nagoski answers questions about sex with the latest science. Along the way, she busts cultural myths and teaches you what's true with the help of groundbreaking research. Come As You Are will guide you towards a life with more confidence, pleasure, and joy.

Coming November 16 from Pushkin Industries and Madison Wells.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.