Dear Dr. Tracy

In today’s episode, Dr. Tracy delves into how early childhood experiences shape our adult relationships with Dr. Kate Truitt, an esteemed clinical psychologist and neuroscientist known for her expertise in trauma and resilience. Dr. Truitt, founder of the Truitt Institute and CEO of the Amy Research Foundation, shares insights from her memoir, Keep Breathing, highlighting the powerful role of the amygdala—"Amy"—in shaping our responses to safety, lovability, and belonging. Their discussion covers the positive and powerful impact that showing personal vulnerability as therapists has had on their client relationships, the importance of connection, and the difference between codependency and trauma bonding. Dr. Kate expresses that while our past influences us, we have the power to choose healthier paths and that self-compassion is a key to healing and growth. Tune in to discover how understanding these dynamics can lead to deeper self-awareness and stronger, more fulfilling relationships. 

Be sure to keep up with Dr. Kate on Instagram and visit her website here.

Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here! 

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It’s safe to say that "mommy brain" is due for a rebrand! In this episode, Dr. Tracy sits down with Dr. Nikki Pensak, a clinical psychologist, TEDx speaker and author of "Rattled," to discuss the challenges and opportunities of motherhood, particularly during the postpartum period. Dr. Nikki shares her journey from academia to becoming a mother, emphasizing the mental health needs of mothers often overlooked. They discuss the transformation of the maternal brain during matrescence, the pressures of social media, and the reality of baby bonding and breastfeeding challenges. Dr. Nikki rebrands "mommy brain" as a brilliant adaptation to motherhood's demands and advocates for early postpartum mental health care. They explore three pillars for thriving postpartum: mental health treatment, understanding motherhood, and thriving beyond birth trauma. The episode flips the narrative on motherhood, viewing it as a profound opportunity despite its challenges. Dr. Tracy concludes with actionable tips: self-compassion, incorporating movement, and practicing present-moment connection. 

Be sure to keep up with Dr. Nikki on Instagram @drnikkipensak and grab a copy of her book here!

Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here! 

A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!

Cozy Earth - Visit cozyearth.com and use code SHRINK at checkout for an exclusive 35% off.

Loop - Visit loopearplugs.com and use code LOOPXDRTRACY for 10% off of your order.

Links:

Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions! 

Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!    

You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!   

Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop      

Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this mini session, Dr. Tracy talks with Rini and Shaun Frey about overcoming difficult periods in their relationship. Together, they discuss how anger and passive-aggressiveness can lead to disconnection and the importance of initiating early communication before things blow up. Despite eight months of built-up emotions, therapy helped them learn to talk openly and brought them closer. Rini shares her struggle with vulnerability and the expectation that men should take the first step, while Shaun recalls initiating reconciliation after a major fight. They highlight the importance of humour, managing egos, and learning repair strategies, encouraging parents to model these behaviours for their children.

Be sure to keep up with Rini and Shaun on Instagram @ownitbabe and @ownitdad

Listen to the full episode here:

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Greg, AKA, Dr. Tracy's favourite co-host and hubby is back this week to discuss strategies to de-escalate disagreements. In this episode, they emphasize the importance of understanding how escalation occurs and how to effectively de-escalate before diving into the deeper and necessary conversations. They share insights from their own relationship, highlighting how childhood experiences shape behaviour in relationships and the impact of perpetual conflicts. Dr. Tracy and Greg discuss the physical sensations of escalation, common negative communication patterns, and the importance of self-awareness, acknowledgment, and making agreements with your partner to take breaks and return to conflicts with a calmer mindset. They also cover practical techniques for self-regulation and co-regulation and answer a listener's voicemail about navigating loss and its impact on relationships. 

Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here! 

A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!

Cozy Earth - Visit cozyearth.com and use code SHRINK at checkout for an exclusive 35% off.

Loop - Visit loopearplugs.com and use code LOOPXDRTRACY for 10% off of your order.

Links:

Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions! 

Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!    

You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!   

Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop      

Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s mini-session, Dr. Tracy addresses coping with anxious attachment in relationships. She explains that it’s not your fault and stems from unmet needs in the past. Dr. Tracy emphasizes self-soothing with affirmations like “I am loved, I am enough, I am worthy” and highlights the importance of looking inward for acceptance. Understanding triggers, practicing self-compassion, and clearly communicating your needs and struggles to your partner are key strategies. Self-compassion involves acknowledging suffering, recognizing it as a human experience, and offering yourself grace.

Listen to the full episode here:

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Trigger warning: Traumatic birth experience  

In today’s session, Dr. Tracy sits down with Dr. Mona Amin, a board-certified general pediatrician, online parenting educator, wife and mother. She shares her mission to provide relatable content for parents, aiming to instill confidence and calm in their parenting journey. In this episode, Dr. Mona candidly opens up about her traumatic birth story, the subsequent health challenges her family faced, how it affected her marriage, the importance of self-advocacy and the key role therapy played while navigating her postpartum reality. As a recovering perfectionist she also shares how she's learned to get comfortable in being uncomfortable and trust the healing process. Together, Dr. Mona and Dr. Tracy explore how traumatic experiences can shape relationships, the ongoing, unpredictable journey of parenthood, the need to prioritize therapy and how to maintain hope in the face of uncertainty.  

Be sure to keep up with Dr. Mona on Instagram @pedsdoctalk and visit her website www.pedsdoctalk.com 

Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here! 

A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!

Cozy Earth - Visit cozyearth.com and use code SHRINK at checkout for an exclusive 35% off.

Loop - Visit loopearplugs.com and use code LOOPXDRTRACY for 10% off of your order.

Links:

Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions! 

Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!    

You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!   

Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop      

Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this mini session, Dr. Tracy and Dr. Becky discuss the impact of growing up with parents who, despite their best efforts, did not validate certain emotions. This creates an intergenerational legacy where unvalidated feelings become triggers today. They highlight the importance of changing the script for our children's future and our own mental health. By showing kindness, compassion, and curiosity to ourselves, we can model these behaviours for our kids. They challenge the outdated belief that emotions are "soft" and emphasize that feelings are primary, reacting before we think. Ignoring emotions leads to negative outcomes, and addressing them is essential for effective change.

Listen to the full episode here:

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Be sure to keep up with Dr. Becky on Instagram @drbeckyatgoodinside

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Tired of always being the initiator in your relationship? This week, Dr. Tracy addresses the common issue of "my husband doesn’t plan date nights," a struggle many listeners have shared. She discusses the prevalent belief in heterosexual relationships that men should instinctively know and plan for their partner's needs, emphasizing that healthy relationships require intentional effort and open communication. Dr. Tracy highlights the importance of recognizing different seasons in partnerships, acknowledging bids for connection, and separating self-worth from a partner's actions. She offers practical advice on creating a system for planning date nights, balancing the division of labor, and appreciating each partner's contributions. By understanding and communicating needs effectively, couples can improve their connection, intimacy, and overall relationship satisfaction. 

Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here! 

A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!

ZocDoc - Go to Zocdoc.com/INYS and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated therapist, psychiatrist, or psychologist today.

Links:

Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions! 

Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!    

You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!   

Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop      

Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected  

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this week’s mini session, Dr. Tracy and Dr. Jen Douglas, a clinical assistant professor at Stanford University, licensed psychologist, and mental wellness speaker, tackle mom burnout and perfectionism, highlighting the pressures modern mothers face. They discuss how today’s moms spend twice as much time on parenting compared to 1965, coupled with the demands of being constantly available to employers. This has led to unrealistic expectations of being a hands-on, super-present mom. They emphasize the importance of allowing yourself to just "be," as taking a moment to relax doesn’t diminish your worth as a mother. The session calls for reevaluating perfectionist standards and giving yourself grace in the journey of motherhood.

Listen to the full episode here:

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Be sure to keep up with Dr. Jen on Instagram @drjenofficial

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The dynamic duo is back together! This week, Dr. Tracy welcomes back her fellow Canadian sister, Renee Reina, host of the top-ranking podcast The Mom Room, for an open and honest discussion about handling visitors after giving birth. Renee shares her personal experience and how her perspective on postpartum visits shifted after having her son, Milo. They distinguish between true support people and visitors, highlighting the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing the mother's comfort and needs. The conversation covers cultural expectations, the challenges of navigating in-laws, and the guilt often associated with saying no to visitors. Through engaging listener voicemails, they tackle real-life scenarios, offering practical advice on setting expectations and advocating for one's needs. This episode is a must-listen for all the soon-to-be and new mom's out there! 

Be sure to follow Renee on Instagram @thereneereina and listen to The Mom Room and Insufferable wherever you get your podcasts!

Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here! 

A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!

ZocDoc - Go to Zocdoc.com/INYS and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated therapist, psychiatrist, or psychologist today.

Links:

Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions! 

Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!    

You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!   

Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop      

Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected  

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices