Enough, the Podcast

Former litigator (and firefighter) Shannon Sedlacek is back by popular demand. She featured in episode 53, one of the most downloaded episodes of the year. She's back to share what happened to her identity when she was forced to leave her impressive job. She shares how her sense of self shifted so dramatically, that at one point, she didn't even want to be alive.

She also shares the two things that helped her transcend those difficult times. You'll hear a cameo from a previous guest. You'll also hear what I learned from a man in burgundy robes that messed with my thinking. If you're highly identified with your job, but know deep down that you have a tough choice ahead, this episode is for YOU.

Links:

Shannon Sedlacek's website.

Gelong Thubten's book.

Jessica Maguire's website.

Nicole LePera's workbook.

Mandy Lehto on Instagram.

If you've ever downplayed your success at work, felt like you didn't belong, or attributed your career wins to luck, you've likely experienced Imposter Syndrome. Stats show that 70 per cent of us have experienced its wily grip at some stage of our careers. In this fast-paced solo episode I share three key things that might be causing imposter syndrome in your life. We'll also explore what might be GOOD about it, and what three-step technique you can try when you're feeling it. I'm also curious if the term itself is outdated (it originated in the 1970s). Oh, you're wondering about the banana. You'll hear how a banana kicked off a shame cycle for me. True story.

Links:

Mandy's imposter syndrome QUIZ.

How the Queen would eat a banana.

YouGov stats on Brits and imposter syndrome.

Stats 70 per cent have felt imposter syndrome.

KPMG research.

Emma Reed Turrell on podcast (refers to Visibility, Novelty, Minority).

Stylist article with MIT prof quotes.

HBR article: Stop telling women they have imposter syndrome.

If you've ever been labelled too loud, too intense, TOO MUCH, this episode is for you. I'm in conversation with two guests who, for years, felt the need to shrink themselves to be more acceptable for others.

You'll meet Karen Goldfinger Baker, who had a stellar career in fund-raising, and now coaches pro athletes and executives at organizations such as Apple and Disney. You'll also meet Dr Sarah Madigan, author and clinical psychologist, who leads coaching groups that look ridiculously fun.

Both women share where their too-much beliefs came from, and how they've learned to relate to that belief differently, letting their authenticity shine through. You'll learn techniques from Sarah with her clinical psychologist hat on in case you've been holding back, worried about being too much.

Trigger warning: There is mention of childhood sexual abuse, and the death of a baby.

Dr Sarah Madigan's website.

Karen Goldfinger Baker's website.

You've spent decades making sacrifices and pushing yourself towards success. You love the thrill of the chase. But lately you noticed that you're just not that into it. The bonuses, shiny things and lures of more status and power leave you flat, and you can't explain it. You're a little bored, maybe even burnt out. How do you get your spark back? That niggle in your gut is telling you to pay attention, but you're afraid to listen to it. In this solo episode, I put my coach hat on and offer three invitations to recalibrate your thinking. Big change can feel terrifying, so let's start smaller, by thinking through some foundational questions that might jiggle loose a new perspective.

Links:

Arthur Brooks' book

David Brooks' book

A More Exciting Life

Sahil Bloom's newsletter

Article on growth without goals

Episode 46 of Enough, the Podcast

Mandy on Instagram

Anger feels like the baddie of emotions. Many of us deal with anger by numbing it, or pushing it down, hoping it'll magically disappear. But it's still there, trapped in the body. Instead of stuffing it down, let's talk about anger, and learn a more effective way of processing it.

Today's guest is Dr Caroline Boyd, Chartered Clinical Psychologist and author who is frequently quoted in the press on women's rage and maternal anger. We focus more generally on anger in this conversation, whether or not you're a mom (or even a parent). You'll learn how our complex relationship to anger starts early. You'll learn practical ways to manage those 'flip your lid' moments, and why you're encouraged to start turning TOWARDS your anger, instead of pushing it away (counterintuitive and brilliant!) Join us.

Links:

Dr Caroline Boyd's website.

Caroline's Workshop

Caroline on Instagram.

Dr Dan Siegel explains flipping your lid.

Guardian article (including Rage Rooms).

Soraya Chemaly's TED talk.

Are you addicted to the buzz of work — the pace, the adrenaline, the excitement? The insidious thing about work addiction is that it's often praised by others, giving it a very different "feel" than being addicted, say, to cocaine or pornography.

In today's episode, you'll learn how we become addicted to work — is it the result of childhood trauma, for instance? How do we know if work has become an addiction? And if it has, what can we do about it?

My guest is Dr Anna Lembke, professor of psychiatry at Stanford University. She's a world-leading expert on addiction, and is also the author of the New York Times bestseller, Dopamine Nation: Finding balance in an age of indulgence. Practical and thought-provoking. Join us!

Anna's book, Dopamine Nation.

"I just need to get through this project, and then I'll slow down." Who knows that lie?

You can love your job AND still be exhausted by it. Today I'm talking about the exhaustion during those ultra-intense periods when we push down the red flags from our body.

My guest is former Disney executive, Dr David Yudis. Disney is the happiest place on earth. It's a place with no limits – as he discovered.

In his early 40s, David was living the dream in that buzzy, chronically exhausted state. "I just need to get through till the holidays…and THEN, I'll recover." David's body had other plans.

In this episode you'll learn about the hot little motor burning underneath David's relentless drive (I did not see that one coming!)

You'll get three takeaways from David's experience that you can apply to your own life right away. Join us.

Links:

Book: On Self-Hatred (School of Life)

David Yudis' website

Mandy Lehto's website

Author and psychotherapist Katherine Morgan Schafler and I dig into self-criticism, judgment, and comparison.

I share a real-life scene from a "Wild Woman" retreat, and what a cringey conversation (involving a sarong and hand-held mirror) taught me about how I handle challenging situations. I suspect this will be a useful insight for you too.

How do you speak to yourself when you're WAY out of your comfort zone? If you're listening to this podcast, I suspect your inner voice ain't exactly Mary Poppins. If you're critical of yourself and others, what can you do? Katherine shares a technique that you can action right away. I've been trying it all week. Solid gold!

Links:

Katherine Morgan Schafler's website.

Katherine on Instagram.

Mandy on Instagram.

Mandy on LinkedIn.

Have we got perfectionism all wrong? Is it something that we need to eradicate?

Today's guest is Katherine Morgan Schafler, psychotherapist, and former on-site therapist at Google. In her new book, The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control, Katherine says we don't need to "recover" from perfectionism to be happy and successful. We need to learn how to be with it in a way that empowers us. You'll learn to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy perfectionism (and how to course correct, when it's the latter). You'll also learn about the five types of perfectionists, and which one you might be. This is part one of my two-part conversation with Katherine.

LINKS

Types of Perfectionist Quiz

BBC article

Katherine Morgan Schafler's website

Katherine on Instagram

Mandy on Instagram

Sarah Norrad episode

Mandy Lehto's website

Maybe you're purchasing status markers, like red-bottomed shoes or the latest gadgets to signal your success (and hey, no judgement! I do it too!) Maybe the title and the pay reaffirm your identity. You tell yourself that "one day" you'll arrive at a certain paygrade or career milestone, and THEN you won't need the validation anymore. THEN success will feel different. Less empty and fleeting. Uh huh.

I'm in conversation with Shelley Paxton, ex-Chief Marketing Officer of Harley Davidson, and Tracy Yates, ex-CEO of an 8-figure marketing agency, serving brands like Google and Amazon. They were success-FULL but felt hollow inside. What does it look like to start redefining success, decades into an established career? And how do you start weaning yourself off of external validation?

You'll learn how both women did the inner work and loosened the grip of external validation. The best part? You can start playing with their ideas right away, without leaving your job.

Links:

Shelley Paxton's book, Soulbbatical.

Shelley's TEDx talk.

Shelley's website.

Shelley on Instagram.

Tracy Yates' website.

Tracy Yates on Instagram.

Brené Brown's VALUES sheet.

Arthur Brooks' article on satisfaction.

Arthur Brooks' article on choosing specialness over happiness.

Mandy Lehto's website.

Mandy on Instagram.