Enough, the Podcast

When you've spent years in survival mode at work, your body starts perceiving this as normal. A recent article in Forbes mentions a new profile of burnt-out employees, the 'engaged-exhausted.' They continue to function at the highest levels, but inside they're highly stress and have mixed feelings about their careers. Why do some people continue to push themselves to breaking point?

I'm in conversation with Tatiana Poliakova, ex-Managing Director at Nomura, an investment bank. Tatiana was addicted to success and adrenalin, but her body started sending up flares. You'll also meet Consultant Clinical Neuropsychologist, Dr Antonia Kirkby, who explains why someone who is highly identified with the status and the buzz of the job, can lose touch with red flags from their bodies. Join us. Your nervous system will thank you.

Links:

Tatiana Poliakova's website.

Forbes article on the "engaged-exhausted."

Dr Antonia Kirkby on Instagram.

Jessica Maguire on Instagram.

Mandy Lehto on Instagram.

What happens to your sense of self when you leave an important job at an iconic brand? It can feel like a loss of identity when the corporate perks and the business card are gone. There can be grief, relief, and a cocktail of other emotions. In today's episode, you'll hear from three women who left big jobs at Nike, Rothschild, and IBM. You'll hear their unfiltered truths about the discombobulation they faced, and what the mess of figuring out next steps felt like. You'll also learn some techniques to try if you're on this journey of separating your sense of self from what you do.

LINKS:

Dr Neil Talkoff's quote in the HBR. See also for Difficult Conversations book.

Megan Carle's book.

Find Alina Addison.

Sahil Bloom's deathbed regrets exercise.

Mandy Lehto's website.

Mandy Lehto on IG.

Mandy Lehto on LinkedIn.

You've spent years pursuing a career, and it's been tough. Then again, so are you. You're exhausted, and your mental health is fraying. But you can't even contemplate upending your life now that the money's good and you've got status and titles. Sound familiar? Today's guest, Shannon Sedlacek, was a litigation attorney whose career looked enviable from the outside. On the inside, she was barely holding it together. She tells her powerful story of (literally) falling off the career ladder, and the insights that bubbled up during her forced reflection time as she recovered. You'll learn how she dealt with her over-achiever and feelings of not-enoughness as she navigated into her next, very different career. You'll also hear her advice for YOU if you're on the golden gerbil wheel, wondering how long this can go on. Poignant and practical. Oh, and there's some spicy language, so headphone up and join us.

Links:

Shannon Sedlacek's website.

Mandy Lehto on Instagram.

School of Life book that Mandy reads from.

Black. Gay. Christian. Shermain Melton spent much of his life hiding his sexual orientation and not feeling good enough. In this powerful 26-minute episode, you'll learn how Shermain spent years trying to push down his truth so that he'd fit in. One day he returned home to find his room upside down, bed flipped, drawers turned out, and he knew his truth was out.

Shermain faced his biggest fear (tune in to hear how it went!) Learn how he took the powerful lessons of owning who he was, including his fears and vulnerabilities, and how he leads from this messy, imperfect place. Moving and highly practical. Join us.

Links:

Article referring to University of Southern Illinois research.

Shermain Melton's website.

Mandy Lehto on Instagram.

Why is it so hard to put yourself out there? – especially if you're prone to feelings of imposter syndrome and perfectionism.

Before I share some tips and tricks from today's expert, let's go deeper on what might be influencing your feelings around visibility. What social, cultural, and familial aspects might be at play? This bit was a game-changer for me. You too, I hope!

Then I invite Darrah Brustein, business coach and strategist, to get radically practical. She shares some techniques you can action right away at work.

If you're new here, welcome. I'm Dr Mandy Lehto, executive coach, and recovering perfectionist and overachiever. This is a show for anyone whose life looks shiny and successful from the outside, but inside, you're burnt out and wondering how long this can go on.

So back to today's episode…

*Cue up the Olivia Newton John vocals: Let's get visible. Visible. I wanna get visible.

Sorry. I had to.

The episode is serious, I promise. Press play and join us!

Darrah Brustein on IG.

Anita Feron Clark on IG.

Kanchan Prinsloo on LinkedIn.

Reshma Saujani's TED talk.

Lisa Olivera's article.

To celebrate my 50th episode, we're having a quick but deep-n-real conversation about how some of the changes in middle life might be stirring up feelings of not-enoughness. If your self-identity is based on your appearance, your heroic work ethic, and success after dazzling success at the office, what happens when those pillars start shifting? I share why Jennifer Lopez inspired this episode, and why perfectionists and success addicts can have a particularly challenging time in mid-life. We end on a high note, when I reveal what truly makes a life well-lived. It's not status, promotions, or money…Join us to find out more.

Mark Hyman's podcast with Robert Waldinger.

Jennifer Lopez article in Vogue.

Arthur Brooks' website.

Sarah Normandin's episode, (she's the Imperfection Specialist).

Today's guest is Darrah Brustein, a coach and business strategist who has interviewed the likes of Seth Godin, Bobbi Brown, Adam Grant, Jen Sincero, and Shaquille O'Neal. She's also one of my coaches!

We do the conversational equivalent of the Christmas Cracker, a festive custom in Britain, dating back to Victorian times. A modern-day cracker usually contains a ridiculous paper hat, a corny joke, and something useful, like a key ring, or dice.

Darrah and I share our wisdom of 2022 – a learning with "bang," something useful we've onboarded or purchased, a discussion (paper hats on, of course) of how to take ourselves less seriously, and our best Christmas jokes for you to inflict on your own holiday gathering. Delight your teens!

The cracker theme is a fun wrapper for a deep, yet light, conversation to help you reflect on your year. Take a nourishing break from the merry-making to join us for this final episode of Enough, the podcast, for 2022.

Darrah's website.

Darrah on Instagram.

Arthur Brooks' website.

Goodbye 2022 Hello 2023 Guided Journal.

Mandy on Instagram.

You dream of reconnecting with the things you once loved. Erm, what were those things again? For years, it's been all about work, and managing an array of things and other people. You've all but disappeared. You're busy and getting busier. Something's got to give, and you're afraid it might be you.

That's what happened to today's guest, Paden Hughes. She was a CEO navigating the pandemic, with two small kids in tow. She shares how she went from face planting of exhaustion and burnout on her kitchen floor, to creating a life that's no longer built on the hustle and grind.

Prepare to have your thinking challenged around creating spaciousness, no matter how busy and important you are. No fairy tale godmothers were involved.

Join us!

Paden Hughes' website.

Paden on Instagram.

Mandy Lehto on Instagram.

Mandy Lehto on LinkedIn.

Dr Mark Goulston's episode.

Charlotte Fowles' episode.

You're an overachiever. Maybe you're often referred to as a badass. Everyone's in awe of how much you get done, and how in control of life you seem to be – and admittedly, that admiration feels good. In fact, you live for it. What almost nobody knows is that you're fizzling with anxiety, up at night ruminating on things, quick to anger, and you struggle to relax.

We're discussing High Functioning Anxiety (HFA). It's not an officially recognized diagnosis, because the person continues to function – quite well, in fact. That doesn't mean the struggles with anxious thoughts and feelings aren't real, or even debilitating.

My guest is adventurer and coach, Charlotte Fowles, who is no stranger to overachieving and busy-ness addiction. Charlotte experienced a decade of trauma, including divorce, depression and cancer, which meant she had to change her overachieving ways. She now helps executives and leaders to manage their own inner challenges, including HFA.

Sidebar: We also debunk the concept of badassery as looking like you've got everything together. So fun!

Join us for this thought-provoking and radically practical conversation.

Daisy Goodwin's article on HFA in the Times.

Ellen Hendriksen's book: How to be yourself.

Brené Brown's Atlas of the Heart.

Charlotte Fowles' website.

Charlotte Fowles on IG.

Mark Silverman's episode.

Mandy Lehto on IG.

This is an experiment! I'm bringing together some key moments from a selection of episodes in the show. These clips were chosen based on listener feedback or moments that made me think, wow, that was something special.

I'll guide you through some heart-opening stories and wisdom drops that'll hopefully make this a feel-good episode, and a self-compassion refresher.

You'll get the gist of episodes you may have missed, and even if you've heard every single one, you'll be reminded of a few key things: How to worry less about messing up and what people think about you; remembering that you are not broken; and understanding that wholeness is not about perfection.

Mostly, I'm hoping you'll feel freer, more okay with yourself, and less alone as you listen to these shares today.

Once you've listened, let me know if you like this format, which I'm thinking of adding now and again ([email protected]).