Enough, the Podcast

Have you ever pushed down parts of yourself to fit in? I'm guessing we all have.

What if you're a person of colour? How does that complexify the story?

Today's guest is executive coach Kanchan Prinsloo.

You'll hear how Kanchan learned to fit in, because true belonging didn't feel accessible to her – neither in society, nor in her own family.

Kanchan learned to "perform" vulnerability, connection and belonging.

She created a "second self" that felt acceptable and believable. Maybe then she'd feel enough.

But pushing down her truth (and the secret she was hiding) felt too much, and Kanchan realized that true belonging meant exploring who she REALLY was, under the façade of the performer and the "fitter-inner."

Now in her mid-50s, Kanchan is owning her story – much of it for the first time, here on the pod. She's still in the mess of the process, which is precisely why I invited her to speak to us. She offers practical tips for "women of culture" to help navigate their own explorations.

Poignant and thought-provoking. Join us.

Kanchan Prinsloo's website: https://kapriconsulting.ca

Kanchan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kanchanprinsloo/

Resmaa Menakem's website: https://www.resmaa.com

This episode is for anyone who manages their image during intimate moments. Maybe you aren't fully in your body. Or you're more concerned about being good enough (sexy enough, skilled enough…) than you are about dropping into true (often messy and unpredictable) intimacy.

The "I must perform and be good at everything I do" includes sex and intimacy for overachievers and perfectionists.

Today's guest is Catherine Topham Sly, a coach and therapist. She says, 'Good sex is not a performance.'

You'll learn about why so many of us perform intimacy.

You'll hear Catherine's definition of sex (game changer!)

You'll learn why it's so challenging to be in our bodies, and what you can do about it.

You'll get ideas on how to rekindle some ooh-la-la if sex has become an item on your to-do list.

Tender, thought-provoking and practical.

Join us!

Catherine's website: https://insightconnection.uk

Catherine on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/insightandconnection/

Not mentioned, but a great read: Esther Perel and Mary Alice Miller article https://www.estherperel.com/blog/intimacy-and-your-5-senses

Can clothes and accessories help us to get to know ourselves better? Can style be an experimental tool for how we create and embody our sense of self in this season of our lives?

Today's guest, international stylist Anita Feron Clark, didn't grow up feeling good enough. She was mercilessly bullied at school and criticized at home for being "too dark and too round." In her late 20s, she said "ENOUGH," and experimented with style to find her own look – and she's never looked back.

Nowadays Anita has helped more than 5,000 men and women to express their authentic selves in how they dress.

Sidebar: How we look on the outside, of course, has precisely zero bearing on our wholeness and good enoughness. From that perspective, it doesn't really matter if you live out your days in sweats.

But the right clothes can help us lessen the gap between knowing we're enough, and actually feeling it. Need a little more strut in your life? More sass? More "Oh yeah, that works…"?

Press play…We've got you.

Anita Feron Clark's website: https://feronclarkstyle.com

Anita on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/feronclarkstyle/

Christina Glickman on IG: https://www.instagram.com/christinaglickman/

Iris Apfel on IG: https://www.instagram.com/iris.apfel/

You push yourself too hard, too regularly, for too long. You're use harsh inner self-talk to motivate yourself because, hey, it works and feels familiar. You're incredibly successful, but you're tired. Like bone tired. You secretly wonder how long this can go on…But you don't think about it much, because day after day, you're sucked into the vortex of your diary.

Today's highly practical episode is about how you can learn to better regulate your stressed-out mind and body.

You'll learn about why stress gets stuck in the body, leaving you in that fried, spacey state.

You'll learn how to motivate yourself with self-compassion, instead of harshness.

You'll learn practical ways to get stress out of your system, including a kissing technique you've gotta try.

My guest is Sarah Norrad, a coach and mindfulness guide who's certified in MBSR — that's mindfulness-based stress reduction. Her other accolades include reiki master, yoga teacher, and trauma-informed educator. You're in good hands.

Let's dive in...

Sarah Norrad's website: https://www.sarahnorrad.com

Sarah Norrad on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarah.norrad/

Emily and Amelia Nagoski's book: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.ca/books/592377/burnout-by-emily-nagoski-phd-and-amelia-nagoski-dma/9781984817068

Thais Sky's comprehensive podcast episode on the nervous system (this is on her own podcast): https://www.thaissky.com/podcast/174

Andrew Huberman on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hubermanlab/

Mandy Lehto on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mandylehto/

Subscribe to my microblog: https://mandylehto.com/subscribe/

How does a confident, highly experienced senior executive end up in a hotel room, laying in the bathtub all night, fully clothed, having dragged the desk behind the door because she's sure someone's coming to hurt or kill her?

This episode is about what it's like working for a boss who's a bully — and the effects that can have on our self-esteem, feelings of enoughness, and on our mental and physical health.

Today's guest, Megan Carle, who had a 30-year career at Nike — her last role being the Head of Basketball for North America.

Megan's story is so important and so eye-opening because her instinctive response was to try and fix the situation by people pleasing and working harder (Spoiler alert: It didn't work).

Find out what happened when the bullying took Megan to the brink of her mental and physical health.

Gripping, thought-provoking, and practical. Join us.

Megan Carle's website: https://www.megancarle.com

Megan Carle on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meganmcarle/?hl=en

Mandy's website: https://mandylehto.com

Trigger Warning: This episode makes reference to severe childhood trauma

Perfectionism is a typical addiction pattern, says today's guest, Dr Shoshana Garfield.

The pattern goes like this: If I can just do or get (fill in the blank with your chosen item or accomplishment), THEN I'll be happy. Or at least less unhappy.

The tragedy is that the fix, once achieved, never truly satisfies. It's a moving target. Sound familiar?

In this episode, you'll learn how to start extricating yourself from the addiction pattern that's obscuring your wholeness and magnificence underneath.

• Learn how Shoshana recovered from the four addictions that developed on the back of her childhood trauma.
• Understand the difference between buying items from a place of perfectionism vs from a healthy place of enjoyment.
• Learn a powerful practice to bring you back to wholeness in this moment.

Moving and highly practical.

Join us!

Dr Shoshana Garfield's website: https://shoshanagarfield.com

Mandy's microblog, The Juice: https://mandylehto.com/subscribe/

Mandy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mandylehto/

Do you have the next-ies? Erm, the what?

Say you've just aced a work project, and instead of pausing and reflecting how well you did, you're already onto the next thing.

Or you've just published a book. And you're already outlining the next book, feeling flat that this one wasn't an overnight New York Times best-seller. THIS one will be, for sure.

The inability to feel that anything you've achieved is enough, or is worth celebrating, is its own special kind of hell.

In this short, radically practical solo episode, you'll learn why you might be a next-er (spoiler alert: It's a neurotransmitter), and 3 things you can try to alleviate that chronic feeling of never quite arriving.

I'm experimenting right alongside you. Hit play. Let's go.

Dan Lieberman's book: https://www.amazon.com/Molecule-More-Chemical-Creativity_and-Determine/dp/1948836580/ref=sr_1_1?crid=29AQI29NM4XS4&keywords=the+molecule+of+more&qid=1645445288&sprefix=the+molecule+of+m%2Caps%2C158&sr=8-1

BJ Fogg on Ted:

https://ideas.ted.com/how-you-can-use-the-power-of-celebration-to-make-new-habits-stick/

Suzy Reading's new book: https://www.amazon.com/Breathe-Journal-Self-care-Suzy-Reading/dp/1783254831/ref=sr_1_4?crid=U5MGVEVZ0KGK&keywords=suzy+reading&qid=1645448637&sprefix=suzy+reading%2Caps%2C149&sr=8-4

If you have excessively high expectations of yourself, and you're struggling to practice self-compassion (or slow down), this episode is for YOU.

Today's guest is Suzy Reading, psychologist, self-care advocate and author. I asked Suzy to create a tool kit for anyone who's languishing right now, feeling depleted

–though still trudging forward. Must. Keep. Going.

She shares some exceedingly do-able methods to give yourself some grace.

You'll learn how to:

• Administer self-tenderness (without rolling your eyes)
• Habitualize self-insight when planning your day
• Regulate your nervous system
• View goal setting in an intriguing new way
• Practice self-forgiveness

Join us.

Oh! And listen for the book giveaway of Suzy's beautiful new book, And Breathe: Self-care Journal.

Suzy's website: https://www.suzyreading.co.uk

Her latest book: And Breathe: Self-care Journal

If you're ridiculously hard on yourself, and deep down, you know it's got to stop (but you don't know how), today's 17-minute episode is for you.

I dig deeper into the concept of Minimum Viable Productivity (MVP) from last week's episode with Dr Erin Baker.

**Person at the back raises hand** ("Erm, I didn't listen to Dr Erin yet. Will I be lost?") Nope. This solo episode can stand alone. But, since this is a podcast for overachievers, I'm sure you'll go back and listen anyway, superstar.

If you're accustomed to constant doing, that feels safe. It's STOPPING the whole hustle culture that feels unsafe, right? Your inner critic goes ballistic with worst case scenarios (from irrelevance to homelessness to bad hair).

In this episode, you'll learn how to give your body the memo that it's safe to rest and do less. It's safe to turn in work (now and again) that's "good enough." Nothing terrible happens. And if you're not ready to take the steps I share, even thinking about it can start to create a shift.

Press play. Let's get this MVP party started.

Last week's episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/episode-26-your-natural-state-of-achievement-with-dr/id1573562560?i=1000548496046

Calling all overachievers! Ever wonder if your exceedingly high work ethic is your authentic way of functioning?

Like really, really?

Maybe it's a series of beliefs that you internalized along the way.

Maybe your whole system for "doing" is based on someone else's fears – a parent's, perhaps, who said things to you like, "You'll amount to nothing with those grades."

Enter Dr Erin Baker, social psychologist, transformational coach, and rad human.

They were an anxious child who grew up with overachieving parents, both professors.

Erin shares how they became a burnt-out overachiever (whose Facebook job looked shiny and impressive on the outside), and what finally made them stop driving themselves to exhaustion.

AND (*this bit is super exciting*) they share how they're doing productivity from a place that feels aligned – and sustainable. It IS possible, folks!

You'll learn:

• How to dialogue with your achiever
• How to figure out what you really want
• Explore MVP, minimum viable productivity

Press play and join us!

Dr Erin Baker on Instagram

Erin's website

Laziness Does Not Exist, by Devon Price

Allison Crow

Internal Family Systems