Enough, the Podcast

What can you do as a parent to help raise your kid with a robust sense of good-enoughness? I asked today's guest, clinical psychologist, Dr Anne Lane, for some tips.

Find out what to try when your child comes home with a poor test result, and they're feeling down on themselves. This tip rocked my world!

Learn how to help your kid cultivate a healthy body image in an age of airbrushed social media.

And finally get Dr Anne's tips on how to relax into your parenting – especially if you're trying to do it perfectly.

Join us!

Dr Anne Lane's new book, Nurture Your Child's Emotional Intelligence.

Her website.

When you've got no idea who you are or what you want, it complicates the heck out of intimate relationships.

But, erm, maybe if you're nice enough – meaning you become whoever a possible partner wants you to be – you'll get the connection and sex you're looking for, right?

Unlikely.

Today's guest is coach and therapist Dr Sasha Mitrofanov, a man intimately acquainted with the role of "I'll be whoever you want me to be."

Sasha shares his experience of growing up disconnected from his own needs, and how that showed up in his relationships. Clueless about how to meet women, Sasha joined the Seduction Society.

But real change only happened once he began the deep work of connecting with himself and shedding his nice guy persona.

In this poignant and practical episode, Dr Sasha shares the tools that ultimately helped him to feel good enough – and that he uses with the anxious, "nice guy" (and "good girl") clients he works with.

Join us!

Dr Sasha's website: https://www.drsasha.co.uk

Brandon Bays' book, The Journey

Neil Straus's book, The Game

John Gottman's book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Kristin Neff's book, Self Compassion

This short, fast-paced episode is about how doing good (a win in itself) can also hoist you out of grumpiness, self-pity, and jealousy (ding, ding, ding, another winner!)

An act of kindness can be a beautiful, perspective-recalibrating way of reminding yourself that you are part of something bigger.

It's a declaration that shouts, I choose connection over nit-picking and self-criticizing.

HA, inner critic! Jog on.

You'll get ideas for acts of kindness from some of my previous guests. And I'm hoping you can also bask in these fun, feel-good stories in the festive season and beyond.

Join us for this final episode of 2021.

Alexandra Franzen's article on more acts of kindness: http://www.alexandrafranzen.com/2013/09/05/50-ways-to-be-ridiculously-generous/

In this 13-minute episode, I share a mini practice that's having mega impact so far. Instead of waiting till I'd mastered it, I'm sharing now, as I'm experimenting myself. It's a simple, free thing I do every morning, and – for me anyway – the timing of it is key.

If you're shedding old habits too, and are feeling a bit discombobulated in the meantime, GREAT! Coming off autopilot with old, ingrained habits and beliefs can have that wonky-fying effect. This technique can help.

Do I regularly forget to do this? Yep.

Do I sometimes roll my eyes and feel a bit jaded and cynical about it? Uh huh.

Do I keep doing it anyway? YES! Because there's something to the lost art of consistency, instead of next-ing through all the advice in gazillions of self-help books (and then saying this shiz doesn't work).

Ready for the big reveal? Hit play. Let's roll.

Let's talk wakeup calls. Maybe it was an illness. Or a divorce. What's on your list of (probably ghastly) moments that made you question your BS beliefs of not-enoughness and start to LIVE?

Sometimes growth is all fluffy bunnies and harp music.

But mostly, face palms and ugly crying are involved.

Today's theme was inspired by Farida D, a gender researcher and poet. Her Instagram profile pic is a phrase: "The List of Sh*t that Made Me A Feminist."

Her "List of Sh*t" got me thinking about some of those ghastly experiences that forced/shocked/invited me to reclaim my own worth and power.

I share three situations and three learnings from different seasons of my life. I invite you to listen with your own "list of sh*t" that helped you to reclaim some of yourself.

In my experience, these insights often solidify in hindsight – and often with the help of a prompt, which I'm hoping this mini-episode will be.

Enjoy.

Farida D. on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/farida.d.author/

Mandy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mandylehto/

QUIZ: What's at the root of your Good Girl behavior? https://mandylehto.com/quizzes/

How do you "do" enoughness? What are the steps to come back to wholeness? Is it as simple as chanting a mantra on repeat?

I am enough

I am enough

I am enough

How's that working for you?

Yeah, me neither.

If you know me at all, you know I like practical. This episode is for the do-ers.

Allison Crow is our guest.

She's a brilliant transformational coach, but I didn't invite her on as an expert today.

I'm curious about the practices that other thought-leaders do for themselves.

What modalities are they using?

What are their rituals?

And what can we learn from them?

Allison is IN the messy work of being in relation with all the parts of herself — especially the ones that nobody claps for.

She shares her experience of Internal Family Systems, a modality she's currently immersed in. Important note: She's not teaching or talking as a practitioner, but as a woman on her own journey.

I wanted you to experience the realness of someone in the work, and what that might bring up for you, as you listen.

Hit play. See you on the other side.

Show time, 18 min.

Allison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allison_crow/

Website: https://allisoncrow.com

Mark Silverman seemed to have it all – the career, the family, the car, the home. He was the squeaky-clean guy who everybody loved.

The reality was different…

Mark's chronic people-pleasing and nice-guy-ness were learned behaviours that allowed him to stuff down trauma and fear of confrontation.

Eventually, he couldn't uphold his golden boy status, and his perfect life imploded.

How did Mark come out the other side of sex addiction, shame and suicidal thoughts? How did he reconcile the complexity of himself?

Join us and find out.

You'll learn:

• How "nice guys" can set boundaries
• Mark's one big shift that changed everything
• The daily practice he calls "my cheapest therapist"
• Shifting rules in a romantic relationship, where you've been the nice guy

Press play. Let's dive in.

Mark's website: https://www.markjsilverman.com

Mark on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark22102/

Mark's podcast episodes featuring me: https://masteringmidlife.libsyn.com/size/5/?search=lehto

Luisa Molano grew up in a strict religious home.

Girls were seen and not heard. They didn't show their knees or elbows. They didn't wear makeup or cut their hair.

When Luisa was seventeen, her church pastor said he'd received a message from God. Luisa was to marry a member of the congregation – a man eighteen years her senior.

At first, she felt honored to be chosen, like all her good-girl-ness had finally paid off. But as the wedding approached, Luisa couldn't go through with it. She didn't love him. She ran away, having brought "disgrace to the family, the congregation, and God." (I mean, no biggie there, right?)

Now, at the age of 40, Luisa shares how she reinvented herself after smashing the Good Girl paradigm she was raised in.

We discuss the daily practice of inventing ourselves anew, and the technique she uses to create a more powerful alternative reality than the autopilot behaviours she knew growing up.

She shares her three powerful realizations that'll be a torch on your own journey.

This conversation is tender, practical, and empowering.

Press play and join us.

Website: https://www.luisamolano.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luisamolanocoaching/

I'm not a good enough mother.

Ever said this to yourself?

Hang on a minute. Good enough according to whom? Your friends? Your own mother? Someone you follow on social media? Good Housekeeping magazine?

In this episode, I want to bust some of the supermom beliefs that you might be depleting and flagellating yourself with. Spoiler alert: The standards you're holding yourself to are ridiculously high – and they're probably not even YOUR standards.

Ready to blow up some exhausting, outdated beliefs? *Mandy rubs palms and smiles mischievously*

Cue Dr Sophie Brock, Motherhood Studies Sociologist, who explains – in a very accessible way – where these beliefs, "shoulds" and expectations around motherhood come from, and what you can do to free yourself.

If you're ready to say ENOUGH to doubting your parenting, comparing yourself to other mothers, and to quit the insidious Guilt-Resentment-Explosion cycle, press play. We've got you.

Show time 34 min.

Sophie's website: https://drsophiebrock.com

Sophie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsophiebrock/

There's nothing like facing your mortality and chronic uncertainty to clarify what's important, and what no longer serves you. Like, erm, overcommitting yourself with shiz you don't really want to do, because you feel awkward saying no. Done. With. That.

Today's short, radically practical conversation is about how we can use this pivotal point in our lives to quit doing things that are JOY SUCKS.

Our guide today is my girl crush, Christina Glickman, who's a mom, TEDx speaker, best-selling author, and new puppy owner of the achingly cute, Humphrey.

You'll learn:

• How to worry less about what people think
• The ICK TEST, Christina's highly-effective way to say no (without feeling like a jerk-wad)
• Her Sunday method for creating more spaciousness in the diary

Are her techniques simple? YES!

Are they easy? NO! But it's work worth doing, because JOY.

Ready to start reclaiming your life? Let's go…

Follow Christina on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/christinaglickman/

Join her community or coaching: Xtra: The Membership Program https://xtra.mykajabi.com/

Buy her book, Xtra: The Art of Being on amazon: bit.ly/xtrabook