Help Me Be Me

Think of this episode as a memory to be conjured. A memory of the truth of yourself: your power and goodness, and that you feel more present on the ride that is your life. It’s easy to live out a perspective fixated on what you haven’t done right or what is just out of reach. To reduce life to transactions versus a felt sense of magic.

This episode is kind of “hippy” in that it’s got some guided imageries. Reason being, a lot of us don’t see the greatness in ourselves unless we are given a powerful mirror. Someone who has witnessed the path we have walked and all that we have grown to become. Often it takes an experience with this kind of person or getting outside of our bubble, to jog this deeper memory of self. A compliment from the right person has the power to inspire us and move us. Through these glimpses, we see a different truth and a more positive version of the world. I wanted to try some visualizations with you today that tap into that knowing, deliberately.

Unless we curate a deeper perspective of ourselves and humanity, we can miss it for years at a time. We get conditioned into reaching toward stuff, or we get stuck in a powerful current of work that leaves us in an energy saving mode. My goal is that you tune into a sense of fullness with this episode and a deeper connection to the person you have become.

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This is about having a loving mindset as we move through our life. What does that mean? It means feeling complete and having an inner sense of safety. From here we do not feel lack when we interact with others. Nothing is “at us” and even when someone does mean us harm, it does not land. This is the energetic state where we can be the most effective, creative, wise. So really the question becomes – how do we deliberately CURATE this state in our lives? I have some tuning exercises for this in particular as well as some reflection exercises.

When we can embody love and kindness, we can light up the world, we can create limitlessly, we can see all potential.

In this episode, I’m going to be talking about these two things that seem in opposition: coming from an energy of wholeness and fullness–tuning yourself to that. And then also shoring up what I call the holes in the boat, or checking what might need boundary work in your life. In other words, making sure you are being deliberate in designing a life that is conducive to a life full of love and peace. Byron Katie calls this “loving what is” – which is EXACTLY what it’s like! Fully embracing and welcoming the truth of what is, including what supports you and makes you feel safe, and also accepting what does not. From here we can build a life that is in accordance with our values.

Sending so much love! To support the show, you can make a donation at YayWithMe.com or visit me on Patreon.

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There are many phases to a long-term partnership – many moons. When it comes to long-term partnerships, we are traveling through a human existence which includes dealing with that pain of our own identity. That pain then interacts and affects our partner, which can define the kinds of conflicts we perceive are happening.

This is about how to humanely deal with the pain of miscommunication and unmet needs in long-term, intimate relationships. Many relationship issues don’t have “correct” solutions. They result from being different people with different needs and different styles of communication. The goal then becomes to act humanely as we deal with that fact – including toward ourselves. This episode is about having that goal of doing no harm and also being able to step back from our own programming. Whereas when we are choosing a partner we must be incredibly stringent in our standards, once we have chosen one, we can become accountable enough to challenge ourselves. We can practice acceptance of who the other person is and also look at how we choose to change.

This is for about working with our own ego wounds as they occur, and also stepping back from old chain reactions. It’s a reminder that marriage can be hard and often the best we can do is come from love and respect, for ourselves and others.

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So much of our ability to enjoy and live a rich life comes down to our frame: how we interpret the ingredients and recognize “what is.” We also expect a TON from ourselves: We are constantly lamenting what we didn’t do, the thing that we failed at, how we fucked up this or that thing in our life, where we are still falling short. We have a very inhumane set of expectations around what we ask of ourselves: I am talking about overworking, overscheduling, overdemanding. At the cost of…happiness.

A lot of people believe they are supposed to continue to chase and muscle through work all the time. And that work will always come first and SHOULD always come first.

Like everything else should be scheduled in between all that striving and it will always come at a much lower priority. Work-first is a cultural norm that many have unconsciously accepted without considering whether or not that supports your truest goals. This is an episode aimed at asking what your authentic hierarchy is and then placing time and emphasis on those things.

So it’s for taking note of what is meaningful and then consciously putting time, focus and more energy toward those things. Which includes fighting against the current that is our natural energy saving tendencies. Because we are so inundated with stuff, it’s really hard to stay focused on what we really actually want to do! It’s harder than shutting off. So hopefully this will help with that as well.

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Blueland

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If you have a sense of ambivalence or blah–like you’re staring at a white wall, but on an emotional or spiritual level. I wanted to write an episode that reminds us all of our humanity and what that feels like and looks like. This is about regrowing and regenerating our vitality by listening inward and channeling our creative, original voices. Allowing yourself to be “original” and not what everyone else wants you to be. Often we lose sight of who that person is, as we grow into adults and we do all the things we “should” for a very long time.

I think a lot of us either grow numb or we feel a pervasive sense of dread and exhaustion when we move through a routine set of adult functions, day after day. It can start to feel like we just need to be better at swallowing it or medicating it versus tuning in to see what is starving us. I am really talking to my type-A friends out there and also my creative friends out there.

Something I notice is that many of us feel a sense of anxiety over all that we have on our plates and the neverendingness of it. And what we often do to deal with that anxiety is take meds to allow ourselves to do more of it. Like this will fix that pain. But that is not a positive, holistic or long-term solve. What I am inviting you to do with this episode is try rewarding that inner self and seeing how that improves all factors in your life – creative, calmness and also clarity.

This process of reconnecting with that inner self takes time and commitment but it IS important! It’s important in how it corresponds to the vastness and scale that is the quality of your life. If we were to stand at the end of your life, how colorful is it? (Not from a stuff and literal places you’ve travelled perspective – but in a depth of self, kind of way?) Like the way you talk and write about your experiences – the way you report them to others: are you skimming the surface and checking boxes? Or do you feel fully alive and like you are savoring this ride? Let’s fucking savor, man. Let ourselves be based on who we would like to be and not who everyone else seems to be on social media. I for one, forgot who that self was for a long time. And I was in a routine of checking boxes.

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This is for anyone who is feeling professionally or creatively stuck, like you have no prospects and like you don’t have anything going for you. It’s also for if you don’t feel mentally or emotionally shiny which adds to a sense of inaction. This episode is mostly tools for kicking off a change in that mental state. Maybe you’ve been laid off and you are feeling the lack of traction/prospects as a reflection of your talents/merits. If that’s true for you, know that a lot of people are looking for work right now and there are lots of weird effects from the pandemic and also the strikes.

This is really about creating an energy shift – a way to change your relationship to life and all that’s in it. This is how we can see the same room anew. Doors and windows open all the time based on our energy. So how do we get the ball rolling on all that energy shifting? Especially when we are in a rut. Sending energy and love!!

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Better Help

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at BetterHelp.com/helpmebeme and get on your way to being your best self. Visit BetterHelp.com/HELPMEBEME today to get 10% off your first month!

Ritual

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EveryPlate

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Mix all together and then bake at 350 degrees F for just under 1 hour. And smile.

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This is my yearly new year reflection style episode where we take stock and celebrate what we have accomplished in the year prior as well as start this year off on the right foot. In this episode I will ask you to ponder - What would you like to change? What would you like to let go of? And what would you like to invite forth as you move through the year?

As you listen to this episode please take note of where you are energetically and respect that season. I am in a winter state, coming out of sickness. All stages are good and valuable in how they set a stage in our cycle: all supports our greatest form of thriving.

My wish for you this year is that you are more able to enjoy your life and live it authentically. We are so primed to be searching for something: “I need X. I should post about X. What are other people doing? Should I be doing that, too?” We are almost automated by our devices and technology to do so. This ordinary stuff of life is pretty great and wonderful, just as it is. If you can tune into the simple moments with your energy: stop that busy searching loop and step outside of it. Maybe quiet life is relaxing and lovely and we should enjoy all that we have, right now.

Sending love to you all and happy new year!

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This episode is my invitation to reset as you move through holiday functions. What does that mean? Not getting sucked into family drama and also keeping your eyes on what’s important: feeling a sense of gratitude and being able to savor all that you have.

Holidays can be heavy for a lot of people. I want to invite you to tune into joy and optimism. As you move through the end of the year, this is an episode with tools for grounding and setting boundaries. It’s also for journaling and recalling what is most important and what is actually a total waste of time.

I’d call this episode a meditation or reflection of sorts in that it’s about resetting how we think about life and what we prioritize. And also just feeling grateful. Never a bad time to do that! Sending so much love! And to check out the book by Rick Rubin, here is a link!

Support this week’s sponsors!

Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Get 40% off your first month for a limited time at Ritual.com/HELPMEBEME

This offer is only available through January 31st. Start Ritual or add Essential For Women 18+ to your subscription today. That’s Ritual.com/HELPMEBEME for 40% off.

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This is for anyone who is holding onto a regret or pain that affects their identity in the present: something that you do not want to take into the new year. When something is bugging us about the past, we are really just pausing a part of the present and living through a warped memory. Sometimes that is because we feel that this will somehow give us what we deserve, like an unconscious act of penance. And sometimes it’s because we are twitching around this thing– almost like a muscle spasm. When we just can’t seem to face a regret in an objective and open way, we cannot process and release it.

So this is my invitation to release the spasm! Pop that zit! Let’s break open that thing whatever it is and work it out so that we can release it. A lot of the time these things will inform the next steps and that will be a gift. Don’t fear it, welcome it, it actually sets us free. I say that because SOOO many of the things that scare us from the past are actually really old fears that are not current or do not belong to the present. Like they are the fears of a 9-year-old self. Or the fears of a very sad child. Which takes me to an important caveat: approach this episode safely. I don’t want to make you triggered, overwhelmed or unstable. The holidays are already a big and heavy season because of that recurring marker that is this time of year.

For you I want to remind you of therapy– a great resource to process sadness and grief caused by the echo of unprocessed loss. Often our bodies are in a static state of “but I don’t want this to be true.” And this is just an echo of that- like a splinter that now has formed scar tissue over it.

For all of you I say walk toward the conflict within and let it be seen as a gift of insight and growth. It will be if you choose to see it as an opportunity.

For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo

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This is for anyone who is looking to be inspired and get closer to their unconscious goals as an artist and creator. I am trying to move closer to my artist self which has been a beautiful process of reuniting with the child that lives inside. One aspect of that process involves really letting go of what other people think is right and asking instead, “what do I have to say?” Removing the measures that pressure your ego to strive in ways that feel in opposition to who you are. I have some practices in this episode for you that are hopefully going to tune your being toward the best form of your creative projects that are ready to be expressed. I highly recommend you practice a meditation of some sort before you begin any creative work- for me it's incredibly helpful!

This episode is aligned with the teachings of The Artist’s Way, Rick Rubin’s new book The Creative Act and Inner Work. Putting links to them because I love them so!

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