Help Me Be Me

Everything we live is either a bad habit or a good habit. What are you rehearsing feeling?

This is for remembering a sense of limitlessness, and by that I mean the perspective of openness and optimism. We all have days like that – when we can see “wow, anything is possible and I am capable of anything!” When we feel our best, most confident and we feel strongly that the universe is on our side. Yet we can also fall into grooves of feeling small, limited and put upon. But the good news is we can jump out of that energy by reminding ourselves that the former exists. It’s a memory of reality that we can resume.

So my hope with this episode is that you wilk really remember how that feels – to live in an awareness of your own limitlessness.

For more of my work and to make a donation head to Yay With Me! xo

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This is about codependency and how it can make it hard to choose right. This is aimed at changing the goal you have in your search for love.

This is for anyone who has a habit of choosing bad relationships and therefore they feel like they cannot be happy. Maybe you have a pattern of super meh relationships and you don’t really know if you like the other person, or maybe you have a pattern of really legit terrible relationships where you are chosen by that other person and they adore you, but you find again and again they are a mess and your job is to clean them up and beg for tiny crumbs of getting your needs met.

A lot of the time when we grow up with dysfunction and chaos, we find that we are unable to judge the other people we meet because we don’t have a connection to our inner compass. And we are struggling to feel safe, so we constantly focus on the others around us. As we get older we are still in this state of reacting to everything around ourselves. And as a way to get relief from our anxiety, we help and soothe others. We build them up, fix them and make them our project. When someone sees beauty and greatness in us and we share a connection, the pain goes away and we fall deeply in love. But this is a love that depletes us – we are constantly trying to come back to that feeling of intoxication: the moment when we were seen, loved unconditionally, and the other person made all the pain go away. But instead, we find that we are still working and working for crumbs.

If this sounds like you – and perhaps you are aware of it, and sick of it, and thinking you cannot ever find love, know that that thinking is not helpful or functional.  And it’s not true. It’s just where you are right now, but that can change. You have to actively want to change that – to see the issue at the root and work on it from there.

This one’s for Aubrey.

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LifeMD is the simplest way to get the healthcare you need, where and when you need it. Become a LifeMD member today for on-demand video visits with a doctor, unlimited messaging with your LifeMD care team, and so much more. Membership plans start at a little more than a dollar a day, so don’t wait.

Visit lifemd.com/HelpMeBeMe to get started, and experience the difference of virtual healthcare.

To make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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This is about growing comfortable asking for what you want, and also comfortable when someone else does not give that to you. Really stepping back in that moment and accepting that at face value. Not taking another person personally and also not getting pulled into inner narratives around their response can result in a total night and day outcome in how you experience your life. This is also about setting healthy boundaries in relationships specifically in how you demand good treatment for yourself. I would say this episode may resonate more with those who consider themselves recovering codependents, like myself.

Standing up for yourself and your needs is an important habit to keep, so you can keep yourself and your relationship safe. I don’t mean that everything has to be a fight– this is not about focusing on the bad things over the good things. This is really about taking the stigma out of bringing up how you’d like to be loved and cared for so you can continue to be healthy in your relationship.

Many issues that come up in our intimate relationships are co-created by the fears and unmet needs of our past. This episode will also give you some awareness around taking in the other person’s response, so you don’t take it personally if/when they respond badly to voicing personal issues. Because often half of what another person perceives is their projection of their own past unmet needs.

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Sign up for a free trial today and discover the joy of speaking Spanish, French, Italian, German, Japanese, Chinese, and many more languages like a local. Use the promo code HELPMEBEME to get up to $200 off on any language.

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This is an episode all about tuning into your authentic self, the practice of play and having fun for the sake of strengthening your creative muscles.

You can curate an inner state that allows you to tap into your creativity, intuition and joyful presence so you can channel your authentic creative voice. This is a reservoir that exists at all times, and you can draw upon it if you exercise these muscles and make it a consistent practice. This is also about creating an inner hierarchy in that it enhances the way you look at the world and everything in it.

We create the world and future we want to see. What are you inviting? And follow-up question, is it hindered by unconscious fear and resistance? SO much of what stops us from success in areas we want to pursue are unseen blocks. Old fears that we think don’t mean much to us but in our behaviors they do.

We very much want the average of our life to be made up of things that are excellent and inspiring. When all that we take in is creative, inspiring, and artful, this becomes the platform from which we launch. It’s our “raw material.”

We create a world for ourselves with not only what we choose to focus on, but also the energy and perspective we curate, the people we surround ourselves with, the content we ingest, and the level we hold ourselves to in our personal bar. Never forget that you can boost that world and make it reflective of all that you love.

This is dedicated to Rick Rubin - we are preaching a lot of the same messages. Love your new book and I recommend it to everyone!

To get the amazing book by Rick Rubin:

The Creative Act

To support this week’s sponsors:

Native Sunscreen

Give your skin the protection it deserves with Native’s mineral Sunscreens! Go to NativeDeo.com/HelpMe, or use promo code helpme at checkout, to get 20% off your first order!

LifeMD

LifeMD is the simplest way to get the healthcare you need, where and when you need it. Become a LifeMD member today for on-demand video visits with a doctor, unlimited messaging with your LifeMD care team, and so much more. Membership plans start at a little more than a dollar a day, so don’t wait. Visit to get started, and experience the difference of virtual healthcare. LifeMD.com/HelpMeBeMe

For more of my work and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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What is the most important ingredient for living a happy life? Knowing what you want. This is an episode aimed at giving you awareness and intention: making the space to be able to tell how you feel while you live your life.

This is for burnout. Exhaustion. And not being sure you’re happy with where you are and what you’re doing. Know that the little maneuvers go a long way: changing how you invest 5 minutes here and there can alter how you feel about your entire life. Once we have an awareness of what we value, space opens up for those things to flower with simple honesty and intention.

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Songfinch.com

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Headspace.com/HelpMeBeMe

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RocketLanguages.com

Sign up for a free trial today and discover the joy of speaking Spanish, French, Italian, German, Japanese, Chinese, Korean and many more languages like a local. Use the promo code HELPMEBEME to get up to $200 off on any language.

Visit rocketlanguages.com to get started today!

And to see more of my work or make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Remember that everyone feels a sense of self-doubt and that can actually be a sign you’re pushing yourself to grow. We can help ourselves to curate an inner reservoir of “I got this” by using thought-hacks and mental work-arounds. This is how we choose to widen or our locus of control: it’s a subtle shift toward feeling we are riding the wave versus being pummeled by it. It’s all about mentally moving ourselves to the top of the wave that is life and fear.

My goal is for you to leave this episode with an increased sense of risk tolerance and have a few work arounds in the moments you suffer from a feeling of lack/imposter syndrome. Never forget – some of the most outwardly successful people in the world are utterly miserable. Happiness and self-love are things we curate from the inside and they emanate outwards. They’re not created from outside conditions. It all starts with a choice – to make the inside be the truest metric of success.

I invite you to ask yourself – “How do I want to feel?” Inspired. Confident. Self-loving. Self-forgiving. I want to be always okay, no matter what anyone else says, and no matter what I have “won” in my life. I am enough as I am.

Sending so much love friends.

And to support this week’s sponsor, please check out Native Sunscreen!

Give your skin the protection it deserves with Native’s mineral Sunscreens! Go to www.NativeDeo.com/HelpMeBeMe or use promo code helpmebeme at checkout, to get twenty 20% off your first order.

For more of my work you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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The energy inside creates what you see outside. What are you putting out to the world with your energy? That’s coming right back into you, creating your life experience. Something I’ve been doing lately to really self-examine and rise about my own smallness, is what I’ll call turning inward. When I hate on something or criticize a person in my mind, I do a turnaround: I look at that reaction and examine it like it is targeted at myself, so I can feel what I am creating. If you find yourself being critical, it’s usually coming from fear and judgement in you that is hurtful all-around. The reason to do this process of turning things inward is everyone wins! You win: your life and happiness benefit but also the world wins. Not to mention, it creates a totally different world via your perception.

This is an episode for anyone who wants to grow in the direction of more whole, less needy and less insecure. Growth is a great project to have, and one that is lifelong. It’s something we can do incrementally – with super tiny but deliberate thought-hacks. Regardless, make sure you’re always giving yourself mental space to focus for yourself for growth. In your capacity, in your compassion, in your maturity.

Sending love to all of you and if you’d like to support our sponsor this week while becoming a better person, check out Headspace!

Headspace has helped me and more than 100 million people worldwide. They can help you too! For a limited time, all of you can try Headspace free for 30 days by going to Headspace.com/HelpMeBeMe

You won’t find this offer anywhere else! This is not something they normally do. Check out Headspace.com/HelpMeBeMe

The Byron Katie book I mentioned in this episode can be found here:

https://amzn.to/3FXc53G 

And to find more of my work or make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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This is an episode that creates a very gentle initiation of a change in your life. A change of lifestyle, a change of perspective, a change of overall bar, and ultimately a change of epic and wonderful proportions. It’s all about getting on the level with yourself and then getting all the ducks in a row. I look at this as the first stage of building momentum toward something big and great like a paradigm shift.

This is about getting literal about something you want to change: really visualizing it while also letting go of the energy of struggle. Struggles that result from fear or the struggles that result from impatience and muscling toward a goal.

This is aimed at allowing you to set (a seemingly) lofty goal and then “getting right with yourself.” By that I mean really looking at where you are and what needs to be done.

When you can state an intention from a place of truth and full transparency, everything aligns. The key in this is really meaning and letting go of how it will happen or if it will happen. Just saying “I choose this.” It starts with that. What will you choose? 

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Here’s the quit smoking book "Alan Carr’s Easy Way" – if you’re addicted to something, read it or any of the other Alan Carr editions. If you already read it and didn't quit, read it again! I had to read it a few times.

https://amzn.to/3TvFsjv

And here are the episodes I mentioned on boundary setting:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000535368733

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000532339844

And here’s a great book all about staying curious and pursuing your own excellence – I can’t stop recommending it!! It’s “The Artist’s Way.”

https://amzn.to/3FkuaIM

For more of my work or to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Never forget that change is possible and at any point in time. This is an episode for anyone who is feeling a bit stagnant or perhaps uninspired, so-so, bored, or stuck. I think sometimes when we get depressed we don’t even notice. Because in your conscious mind, you can easily distract and get into your phone, the limitless options on streaming, or busy yourself with work. If you’re unsure, you can look to your behavior as a way to discern whether or not you are happy and thriving. Are you not interested in doing much? Are you neutral on many things? Do you feel like a blank piece of paper? If you are happy and thriving, you will feel your aliveness: you feel energized and ready to go when you wake up. It’s like a feeling of excitement for life. If you’d like to get more of that, this is an episode for you.

With this episode, I really wanted to paint the picture of how change can happen. It can happen today. It doesn’t need to be hard, but when we get into grooves of feeling hopeless we think that it’s too hard. We start to focus on the wrong things – suddenly we are looking down at our feet saying, “I don’t like where they’re standing.” This kind of thinking is just wasted energy. Look at where you want to go.

Let’s tune the engine!

To support of sponsor this week, please checkout and download Headspace! The best meditation app ever! You can go to www.headspace.com/helpmebeme to get Headspace free for 30 days!

For more of my work and to make a donation you can go to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Roles! What do I mean by that: I mean unspoken hierarchies, relational patterns, engrained and felt archetypes that our family, friends and coworkers reinforce and we reinforce in how we interact with them. This episode is a bit meta. What do I mean by that? It looks at implied and non-verbal communication that creates a lot of the feelings and manifestations in your person via your relationships. So much of communication is non-verbal and implied with tone, delivery, physical cues, subtext, or plays off contextual meaning. We are reading our “place” in a particular situation at the same time as we are dictating our place by how we set boundaries, what we tolerate and how we react to others. This episode is not about dissecting how those situations occur – it’s more a reflection exercise for you to examine the role you have taken on in any given relationship and consider whether or not you want to shift it. We control so much with how we choose to dance in a set of given rhythms.

So this is an invitation to examine the relationships in which you play a role that is not bringing out your best, most joyful and positive self. Maybe it’s in your family of origin. Maybe it’s at work with your coworkers. Maybe it’s in your new family unit. Or a friend group. Regardless we can change everything just with how we covet and respect ourselves!

To read more about how family systems work/manifest, you can check out these books:

https://amzn.to/3IlYDYW

https://amzn.to/3lD7igt

For more about setting boundaries you can check out

https://amzn.to/40NADoG

For some studies around eating disorders and the interactivity of family dynamics you can check out

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5633277/

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.02046/full

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/when-food-is-family/201204/issues-in-attachment-may-contribute-eating-disorders

For more of my work and to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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