“There’s a freedom in not auditioning for your life anymore.”

What happens when you’re no longer living by someone else’s playbook and finally start telling your own story? This week on Hotter Than Ever, we sit down with Julie Golden, reality TV producer, screenwriter, stand-up comedian, and creator of The Big D, a heart-forward and hilarious dating show for divorced singles.

Julie opens up about her own midlife transformation: from shaping other people’s stories in Hollywood to taking the mic and telling her own. She shares how grief, motherhood, and divorce led her to comedy, how she stopped waiting for permission to create, and why midlife is the most creatively and emotionally free chapter yet. Join us, as we dig into:

• What it means to stop “auditioning for your life” and finally choose yourself at work, in love, and in every creative pursuit
• How building community and producing her own shows helped Julie reclaim her voice, empower other women, and make comedy a space for healing and honesty
• Why authenticity beats approval every time and how midlife can be the most creative, connected, and joyful chapter yet
• What really goes on behind the scenes in reality television and how empathy can change everything
• How the hormonal shifts of midlife actually liberate women from people-pleasing and open the door to deeper self-trust
• Why post-divorce dating isn’t about looking for someone to “complete” you, but finding someone who’s additive

OUR GUEST: Julie Golden is a former film executive turned screenwriter, reality TV producer, and stand-up comic whose career has spanned every corner of storytelling. Drawing on her love of comedy, matchmaking, and human behavior, she created The Big D, a heart-forward comedy dating show for divorced singles that’s as much about laughter and connection as it is about second chances. A single, divorced mom herself, Julie brings authenticity, empathy, and humor to everything she creates, building a community where people can show up as they are, one laugh (and awkward flirt) at a time.

Want more Julie? Learn more about “The Big D” at https://www.thebigddatingshow.com/ and follow her and her work on Instagram at @juliegoldengirl

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Have you missed us? We’re thrilled that Hotter Than Ever is back after an unplanned summer hiatus. Not only did Erin sell her house and move, but she’s also in the midst of launching a new business while solo parenting—no big deal. We’re returning with a bang and more real talk than ever, as Erin gets radically honest about navigating massive life transitions in midlife: letting go of old definitions of “success,” reimagining what home means, and choosing growth, even when it’s messy, expensive, and terrifying.

Then, Erin sits down with relationship coach, non-monogamy educator, and founder of Passport to Pleasure, Ally Iseman, to explore how to live and love on purpose. In this episode, Ally helps us unpack the rules of monogamy women grow up with, and asks: what if, instead of defaulting to the one-size-fits-all model, we designed our relationships on our own terms? Join Erin and Ally as they discuss:

• The journey from serial monogamy to expansive, intentional relationship design
• Compersion, jealousy, and why feeling joy for your partner’s joy can be a gamechanger
• The differences between boundaries, rules, and agreements and why most of us were trained to get them muddled
• What happens when you actually talk about your needs (spoiler: intimacy gets real!)
• Exploring play parties, and what they reveal about consent, courage, and community
• How to find your people and build community, whether you’re single, partnered, monogamous, or in the delicious unknown
• Choosing adventure, whether it’s relocating to Europe, reframing “failure,” or falling in love with yourself at 40+

OUR GUEST: Ally Iseman is a writer, TV  host, NCSF-registered Kink Aware Professional relationship coach certified by The Consent Academy, and Founder of the educational platform Passport2Pleasure.com. She has been a speaker, community organizer, and non-monogamy educator and practitioner since 2016. A sought after podcast guest, Ally is also a featured subject matter expert for The New York Times, Cosmo, Well+Good, Romper, PureWow, and Yahoo! and others and a contributing writer for Sexual Health Magazine.

Want more Ally? Find her and her work online at www.passport2pleasure.com and access her free tools at the links below:

• Relationship Ratio: www.passport2pleasure.com/ratio
• Big Why: www.passport2pleasure.com/bigwhy

 Follow her and Passport to Pleasure on:

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@passport2pleasure 
• Substack: https://allyiseman.substack.com 
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passport2pleasure  https://www.instagram.com/allyiseman 
• Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@passport2pleasure 
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61554151163099 
• LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/passport2pleasure  www.linkedin.com/in/allyiseman 

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“Having a fantastic relationship is a learnable skill.”

So many of us crave deeper connection, more spark, and a sense of feeling not just content, but truly alive, decades into love and relationships. But what if your desire has dulled, your partnership feels stuck on autopilot, or you’re no longer even sure what you want, let alone how to ask for it? Enter Dr. Alexandra Stockwell, “The Intimacy Doctor”, a physician, relationship coach, author, and podcast host, whose mission is to help women and couples create conscious, erotically vibrant partnerships in midlife and beyond.

Join us for a candid and empowering conversation with Dr. Stockwell on breaking the cycle of compromise, rediscovering your desires, and bringing more pleasure into your life… and your bedroom. We dive into why:

• Great relationships and intimacy are built through intention and skill, not just chemistry or time
• Desire alone isn't enough to sustain relationships and the importance of reflecting on how deeply you truly want something
• Many women discover deeper pleasure and connection later in life
• Uncompromising intimacy, rather than compromise, is the real secret to a nourishing, fulfilling relationship
• Everyday interactions shape long-term intimacy just as much as what happens in the bedroom
• Curiosity and asking open-ended questions can reignite emotional and sexual intimacy with your partner
• Vulnerably sharing how something made you feel creates more connection than placing blame

OUR GUEST: Alexandra Stockwell, MD, “The Intimacy Doctor”, is a relationship and intimacy expert who helps high-achieving couples create emotionally connected, erotically vibrant partnerships. A physician-turned-coach, she’s the bestselling author of Uncompromising Intimacy, host of The Intimate Marriage Podcast, and creator of the Aligned & Hot Marriage program. Married for 28 years with four children, Dr. Alexandra teaches that the key to lasting passion isn’t compromise, it’s authenticity. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, Rolling Stone, Cosmopolitan, and more.

Want more Dr. Stockwell? Find her online at https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/ and listen to her podcast, “The Intimate Marriage Podcast”, using the link below or wherever you get your podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-intimate-marriage-podcast-with-intimacy/id1548060690 

Follow her on: 

• IG: @intimacydoctor  
• FB: @Intimacydoctor  
• Youtube: @intimacydoctor  
• Tiktok: @intimacydoctor  
• LinkedIn: alexandrastockwell  

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“Adolescence isn’t the end of your close relationship with your child, it’s the beginning of the best one you’ve ever had.”

For so many parents, the teenage years loom like a storm cloud, fraught with anxiety, conflict, and the fear of losing connection. But what if everything you think you know about adolescence is dead wrong? What if it’s not a time to dread or simply get through, but an invitation to lifelong closeness and understanding with your kids?

In this episode we sit down with Megan Saxelby, founder of Wild Feelings, veteran educator, and reformed “middle school monster” on a mission to radically reframe how we all understand and approach adolescence. Drawing from 17 years in middle school classrooms and her pioneering work in dignity-based conflict resolution, Megan shares how these pivotal years can unlock the best, most meaningful relationships we’ll ever have with our kids. We discuss:

• Why the “doom and gloom” narrative about teens does everyone (kids and adults alike!) a massive disservice, and what actually happens when we expect more from them
• The powerful science behind adolescent brain development (hint: ages 11–17 are just as crucial as birth to five—and why we need to stop checking out right when it matters most)
• How dignity-based conflict resolution can transform peer relationships, empower young people to speak up, and bring empathy and accountability into every hard conversation
• The number one thing teens want: to truly MATTER, to belong, and to have agency—along with simple, actionable shifts you can use to support them (no matter whose kid they are)
• Real talk about parenting through change: whether that’s divorce, growing up, or just learning how to be your child’s anchor, not their peer
• Practical ways to help teens (and yourself) meet the chaos of growing up, especially in a world that makes belonging and inclusion feel more urgent (and more fraught) than ever

OUR GUEST: Megan Saxelby is on a mission to reframe adolescence as a time of growth and connection—not chaos. A veteran educator and founder of Wild Feelings, she brings 17 years of classroom experience and cutting-edge research to her work with parents. Megan has collaborated with thought leaders like Rosalind Wiseman and Dr. Donna Hicks, and helped develop core curriculum for #halfthestory, a leading digital wellness nonprofit. Through Wild Feelings, she offers practical, evidence-based tools that help parents navigate the teen years with confidence and compassion.

Want more Megan? Find her online at https://www.wildfeelings.co/ and check out her parenting course here: https://www.wildfeelings.co/parents/ 

Follow her on Instagram at @wildfeelings.co and on Substack https://wildfeelings.substack.com/ 

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Dating in today’s world can feel confusing, lonely, and (thanks to the apps) a lot like a part-time job with no benefits. But what if finding a connection isn’t about chasing elusive chemistry, endlessly scrolling, or pretending to be someone you’re not? Enter Dr. Frankie Bashan: a clinical psychologist, longtime connector, and pioneering LGBTQIA+ matchmaker whose mission is to help every person find authentic love, no matter what boxes they check.

In this conversation, Dr. Frankie joins Erin to share her personal story and lift the veil on what really works (and what doesn’t) when it comes to finding partnership in midlife, especially for those outside the hetero dating mainstream. We dive into:

• Turning your strengths and superpowers into a career
• The power and success that come from finding your niche in business and serving underserved communities
• Why dating apps are designed to keep you wanting, not finding, and how matchmaking flips the script
• Why chasing the “fireworks” in dating chemistry can be a trap and not a path to a healthy, sustainable relationship
• How your “list” might be holding you back, and why letting go of overly specific criteria in favor of three core dealmakers can open you up to real connection
• How matchmaking for the LGBTQ+ community is different and what straight daters can learn from queer dating wisdom

OUR GUEST: Dr. Frankie Bashan is a clinical psychologist, sex therapist, and founder of Little Gay Book, the leading LGBTQ+ matchmaking service in the U.S. With over 20 years of experience supporting queer individuals and couples, she combines emotional intelligence, intuition, and a personalized approach to help clients find meaningful, lasting love. Known for her emotional intelligence and trauma-informed approach, Dr. Frankie boasts an 85% matchmaking success rate to support clients around the world. She also co-hosts MTV’s Are You The One and offers coaching globally via Zoom.

Want more Dr. Frankie? Find her and her matchmaking services online at https://littlegaybook.com and follow her on Instagram at @littlegaybookmatchmaking 

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Divorce is often treated as the end of the story, but what happens after the separation, when the real work of navigating co-parenting begins? In this episode, we sit down with Christina McGee, renowned divorce parenting expert and author of Parenting Apart: How Separated and Divorced Parents Can Raise Happy and Secure Kids. With over 20 years of experience supporting families through change, Christina reminds us that divorce doesn’t make you a bad parent, it simply means you’re a parent navigating a tough chapter. 

Join us for an honest and deeply practical convo of what it means to redefine “family” when the old scripts of custody battles, “my time,” and visitation as a commodity, no longer serve us or our children. Erin and Christina dig into:

• Why terms like “custody” and “visitation” turn parenting into a transaction and how shifting to “parenting time” can center kids and reduce emotional strain
• How kids come to take on the emotional burden of divorce, especially when parents get stuck on splitting time "equally"
• Why 50/50 custody isn’t one-size-fits-all and how to build a parenting plan that actually works for your child
• What to do when your values clash with your co-parent’s discipline style and how to respond with empathy instead of reactivity
• Concrete strategies for holding space for big feelings, validating your kid’s emotions, protecting their right to love both parents, and avoiding the blame game
• How to lean into your co-parent’s strengths (even if they’re not your strengths) so your child feels supported from all sides

OUR GUEST: Christina McGhee is a divorce-parenting expert who believes divorce doesn’t make you a bad parent—just a parent going through a tough time. For over 20 years, she’s helped families and professionals keep the focus on what matters most: the kids. She’s the author of Parenting Apart: How Separated and Divorced Parents Can Raise Happy and Secure Kids, creator of the Co-Parenting Specialist™ Certification Program, and Education Director for the SPLIT Outreach Project, which produced the acclaimed Split documentary films. Learn more at divorceandchildren.com or coparentingspecialist.com.

Want more Christina? Find her online at www.divorceandchildren.com and www.coparentingspecialist.com. Check out her Book: “Parenting Apart: How Separated and Divorced Parents Can Raise Happy and Secure Kids” on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2MK4Mya    

Follow her on: 

• IG: @divorceandchildren 
• Facebook: @divorceandchildren 
• Linkedin: @christinamcghee

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“ We don't choose what turns us on… but we get to play with it.”

Too often, women move into adulthood (and even marriage) without a real roadmap for understanding their own desires, let alone the conversations that bring intimacy to life. In this episode, we’re exploring how putting yourself at the center of your erotic life can transform not just your sex life, but your confidence, creativity, and sense of empowerment in every area.

Our guests, Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman, are co-founders of the Somatica Institute, known for their pioneering, hands-on approach to sex and relationship coaching. They don’t just teach theory—they teach the real-world skills we all wish we’d learned in school, like tolerating awkwardness, negotiating desires without guilt, and sitting with the sometimes-uncomfortable tension of wanting different things to create deeply fulfilling relationships.

In this candid, powerful episode, Erin, Danielle, and Celeste unpack:

• Why so many people enter adult relationships without the tools to express feelings, ask for what they need, support a partner, or handle emotional tension
• The importance of women learning to re-center themselves (over others!) in sex, relationships, and life
• How to sit with discomfort and why it’s essential for creating healthy, lasting relationships
• Why most of us are taught to downplay our own pleasure and how to finally unlearn it
• Creating a “pleasure menu”: how getting specific about your unique turn-ons and needs can transform sex and relationships
• Why a wide range of sexual fantasies can be a healthy part of your erotic life when explored consciously and consensually
• Why we don’t get to choose what turns us on, but we can choose how we play and interact with those feelings in the bedroom, with agency and empowerment
• How building a “village” of emotional support (friends, therapists, community) can take the pressure off your romantic relationships

OUR GUESTS: Danielle Harel, Ph.D., and Celeste Hirschman, M.A., are pioneers in intimacy, sexuality, and relationship coaching. Co-founders of the Somatica® Institute, they’ve transformed how love and connection are taught through their experiential, science-based Somatica Method. Together, they’ve trained over 1,000 coaches and helped countless individuals and couples embrace vulnerability, rediscover desire, and create deeply fulfilling relationships. Authors of three influential books—Making Love Real, Coming Together, and Confidence—Danielle and Celeste blend authenticity, humor, and bold honesty to inspire transformation. Their relatable insights into intimacy and connection make them captivating guests, offering audiences practical tools to enhance relationships and live passionately.

Want more Danielle and Celeste? Find them online at https://www.celesteanddanielle.com/ and https://www.somaticainstitute.com/ 

Follow them on 

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/somatica_institute/  
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SomaticaInstitute 
• FB: Somatica Institute: https://www.facebook.com/somaticainstitute 
• FB Celeste and Danielle: https://www.facebook.com/celesteanddanielle  
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somatica.institute 

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“You are not alone.”

We hear this phrase often—but truly feeling less alone is something else entirely. Real connection begins when we share our stories, speak our truths, and let ourselves be seen. Few people champion this idea more powerfully than today’s guest, Dr. Jessica Zucker. Jessica is a psychologist specializing in reproductive and maternal mental health, and is the author of “I Had a Miscarriage: A Memoir, a Movement”. After experiencing her own miscarriage, Jessica launched the now-viral #IHadAMiscarriage campaign—a deeply personal yet universal invitation for women to speak their truths on their own terms.  Her next book, “Normalize It: Upending the Silence, Stigma, and Shame That Shape Women's Lives”, is out on April 22nd.

In this episode, Erin and Jessica explore the silence, shame, and societal expectations around grief, body image, motherhood and many other fundamental aspects of women’s lives—and how sharing our stories can help dismantle them. We discuss:

• Why storytelling is an act of liberation—and how speaking openly about miscarriage and other stigmatized experiences builds healing and connection
• How silence around common women’s experiences like infertility, illness, menopause, and abortion perpetuates shame and isolation
• The problem with comparative suffering—and why women often minimize their pain by telling themselves “others have it worse”
• How girlhood teaches us to self-silence and be “good,” and the long-term impact this has on authenticity and self-expression
• Why it’s essential to talk to kids early and openly about bodies, sexuality, and emotions
• The cultural cost of silence—and how creating space for women to share their whole truths can shift the narratives we’ve been taught to hide

OUR GUEST: Jessica Zucker is a Los Angeles-based psychologist specializing in reproductive health and the author of the award-winning book I HAD A MISCARRIAGE: A Memoir, a Movement. Jessica is the creator of the viral #IHadaMiscarriage campaign. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, New York Magazine, Vogue, and Harvard Business Review, among others. She’s been featured on NPR, The Today Show, and Good Morning America and earned advanced degrees from New York University and Harvard University. Her new book, NORMALIZE IT: Upending the Silence, Stigma, and Shame That Shape Women’s Lives, is out April 22nd!

Want more Jessica? Find her online at https://www.drjessicazucker.com/ and check out her books “I Had A Miscarriage” and “Normalize It” at the links below:

• https://www.drjessicazucker.com/i-had-a-miscarriage 
• https://www.drjessicazucker.com/normalize-it 

Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ihadamiscarriage/ 

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“ You can't say the wrong thing to the right person.”

Modern dating can feel like a chaotic mess—swiping fatigue, societal pressures, and outdated patriarchal norms make it seem more like a minefield than a path to love. But what if dating could actually be joyful, empowering, and aligned with your values? Enter Lily Womble, a feminist dating coach, author, speaker, and founder of Date Brazen, which is on a mission to help women create dating lives that feel extraordinary and authentic.

In this episode, Erin and Lily break down the biggest myths about dating and offer powerful, actionable strategies to help you approach love on your terms. Whether you’re feeling disheartened by the process or just need a fresh perspective, this conversation will leave you ready to date with confidence. We discuss:

• Why dating is still stuck in the dark ages and how to reclaim your power & joy in the process
• Dating as self-care— prioritizing boundaries, agency, and pleasure over pressure and scarcity
• Most people aren’t your person and how to focus on the ones who actually align with you
• Ditch the checklist, because true compatibility is about how they make you feel, not just what’s on paper
• Words matter—how reframing your dating mindset creates new possibilities
• Using qualifying & disqualifying questions to filter for true compatibility
• Dating apps are just a tool—how to attract great matches both online and IRL

OUR GUEST: Lily Womble is an intersectional feminist dating coach and founder of Date Brazen. She has led thousands of badass, feminist women around the world to build dating lives that feel like self-care, that also lead to extraordinary love. Womble has been featured in InStyle, HuffPost, Bustle, ABC News, and Oprah Magazine. She lives in Brooklyn.

Want more Lily? Find her and Date Brazen online at https://www.datebrazen.com/ and listen to the Date Brazen podcast https://www.datebrazen.com/blog. Check out her book Thank You, More Please.

Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ 

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"Our intuition does speak to us—it screams at us, if we really let it listen."

For many women, motherhood is the most rewarding, purpose-driven, and all-consuming role we take on. But what happens when the kids grow up and fly the nest? How do you figure out what’s next for you? Turns out, this chapter is bursting with potential for reinvention and self-discovery—but it often starts with the daunting question: "Who am I now?" Jodi Silverman, empty nest advocate and founder of the Moms Who Dare community, joins us to peel back the layers of identity beyond motherhood.

In this episode, Erin and Jodi dive into the exciting (and sometimes terrifying) journey of rediscovering yourself after your kids gain independence. They explore how to approach this transition with intention, curiosity, and a daring spirit. You'll hear about:

• Why embracing new experiences is key to building a fulfilling life beyond motherhood.
• How stepping outside your comfort zone—even when things don’t go as planned—helps refine what truly lights you up.
• The surprising power of starting with what you *don’t* want to get clarity on your next steps.
• The magic that happens when Moms put their fulfillment first—because when you thrive, so do your kids.
• Why maintaining your own interests shows your children that self-care and ambition matter at every stage of life.
• How making decisions based on how you want to feel can be the best guide to your next adventure.
• The power of reframing loneliness as an opportunity—to create new routines, deepen connections, and embrace this new season with excitement.

OUR GUEST: Jodi Silverman is a coach and advocate for women in the empty nest phase, helping them reclaim their identities and build fulfilling lives beyond motherhood. Through The Moms Who Dare® community and her DARE Method, she empowers midlife women to embrace change, rediscover their passions, and step into this new chapter with confidence.

Want more Jodi? Find her online at https://jodisilverman.com/ and listen to her podcast Beyond the Empty Nest 

Follow her on social media:

• IG: https://www.instagram.com/jodi_silverman/ 
• FB: https://www.facebook.com/jodibsilverman/ 
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/inthenestwithjodisilverman 
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodisilverman/ 

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