Do you or do you not have the extra cash to spend on holiday gifts this season? Episode 189 includes a recorded excerpt from the FOCUSED ADHD group coaching program with tough questions to ask yourself ASAP in order to properly prepare for holiday gift-giving without going into debt or feeling shame.

Those of us with ADHD know how easy it is to overspend due to feelings of guilt and/or anticipation. This happens especially around this time of year when regulation and routine seemingly fly out the window.

In this episode, I talk about managing emotions when it comes to your finances and how to approach holiday spending from a grounded, reality-centered place. 

I'm proud of you for listening to this podcast and seeking out growth. Keep up the moment by joining my group coaching program, FOCUSED, so you can gain more tools and a strong support system.

>>FOCUSED<<

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Facing the holiday season can be intimidating. Normal everyday life is complicated enough living with ADHD, and yet so much more is expected of us in the last few months of the year.

Our inner child may have this beautiful fantasy of a perfect holiday season, but we feel let down when it doesn’t all go according to plan. So how can we approach this year differently to make sure we make the most of all the magic without getting swallowed by it?

In episode 188, I offer a strategic plan for managing your expectations and capacity in order to face this time with intentionality and prioritization. By staying grounded in reality and sitting in the driver’s seat of how we want this season to go, we can avoid those icky feelings of shame, exhaustion, disappointment, and stress while embracing real connection, rest, and genuine joy!

If you want to set yourself up for success before it gets hard with a fantastic support group, I invite you to join my group coaching program, FOCUSED. All month long, I’ll be focusing on ways to manage the holiday season, and I’d love to take you along with us.>>FOCUSED<<

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This one’s for all the neurotypical friends and family who have a loved one living with ADHD. There are SO many misconceptions about this diagnosis, and it can be super challenging for us to communicate our experiences to you effectively.

Societal shame and childhood upbringings have played a huge role in diminishing the voice of ADHDers. But there are so many things we’d like you, our friends and family, to know about us! Thanks to the input of several friends in the community, I’m sharing 3 things we wish you knew about ADHD and 3 things we’d like to ask from you.

Without giving away too much, it’s crucial for you to start by understanding how hard it is for us to share our struggles and ask for help. THANK YOU for taking the time to listen to this episode and for being our support system!

Another helpful thing you can do for a loved one living with ADHD is encourage them to get support. My group coaching program FOCUSED offers a supportive community and the tools needed to thrive with ADHD. >>FOCUSED<<

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If you’re guilty of adding too many tasks to your to-do list and then feeling guilty for not completing them, this message is for you! To-do lists are meant to be useful for prioritization and recollecting what needs to get done — but it’s easy to lose ourselves in the list itself and struggle to cross anything off at all, leading to procrastination, dread, and shame.

It may sound scandalous, but you should consider the email concept of “archive all” to cleanse the clutter in your brain and let yourself off the hook! To those of us living with ADHD, this may sound terrifying… impossible even. But the only way to make progress is by taking one step at a time, tackling items one by one.In this episode, I’m divulging why I relish archiving ALL THE THINGS that take up too much brain space and how it helps me be *more* productive in the long run.

It’s time to let go of the unnecessary weight you’ve been carrying for far too long. Archive it all — with no strings attached!

Want to start tackling your to-do list? Check out my coaching program for adults with ADHD >>FOCUSED<<.

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Big, impossible goals are sexy. That’s what the world wants us to think. We have to do all of the things and be great at each one. But unrealistic goals are a challenge for adults with ADHD, and they set us up for failure.

Michelle Carter is an American shot putter and three-time Olympic athlete who took home a gold medal in the Rio 2016 Olympic Games. But more importantly, she’s an adult with ADHD who’s achieved some pretty amazing things by giving herself the space to choose what’s a priority to her and working on her goals one step at a time.

Michelle shares what she learned about ADHD that’s helped her identify and achieve her goals in a way that works for her — plus, we discuss the emotional moment she realized she’d won gold at the Olympics.
Learn more about Michelle here and be sure to follow her on Instagram.
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Want help achieving your own goals? Check out my group coaching program. >> FOCUSED <<
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If you're an adult with ADHD who struggles with hobbies, all I have to say is, "SAME!" I find that a lot of us ADHDers struggle to rest and play, and we have all the drama about participating in activities that are not 'productive.' Want to stop over-working and actually get a hobby? I've got 7 doable steps for you! You'll learn why we struggle to have hobbies and how to go out and actually find something that you enjoy doing (and yes, I include a LONG list of hobbies for you to try!).

Books featured in this episode:
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
Children of the Self Absorbed
You're Not Crazy, It's Your Mother
Dr. Ramani's YouTube Channel
Was It Even Abuse? Restoring Clarity After Covert Abuse

Visit www.ihaveadhd.com/focused for more resources

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We end our relationships series by circling back to the most important relationship: the one we have with ourselves. Dr. Russell Ramsay is here with us to chat about why self trust is especially difficult for adults with ADHD, and what we can do to build it.

Dr. Russell Ramsay is co-founder and co-director of the University of Pennsylvania’s Adult ADHD Treatment and Research Program and a professor of clinical psychology in the department of psychiatry in the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania. He’s authored several books on ADHD including one that that I reference often called Rethinking Adult ADHD: Helping Clients Turn Intentions into Actions

Learn more about Dr. Russell Ramsay here!

Visit www.ihaveadhd.com/focused for more resources

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Saying no can be very difficult for any human, but I believe it's especially hard for adults with ADHD. In this episode you'll learn:

ADHDer, the more you say no when you want to, the more you are in the driver's seat of your own life. Enjoy!

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ADHDers are notoriously bad at setting boundaries. So many factors go into this, but I believe it’s mostly because we feel poorly about ourselves, we don’t have a lot of self-trust, and we are embarrassed about our annoying ADHD symptoms. The result of this is that we ADHDers often don’t believe we even deserve to set boundaries. Additionally, many of us were not raised in families that talked about or even allowed boundaries to be set…so, it comes to boundaries, most of us are floundering.

A big part of having healthy relationships is being able to express our own personal boundaries. But, how? Like actually, HOW?

I am by no means an expert on this topic, so I invited an expert on to share her wisdom with us: best-selling author, licensed therapist, and sought-after relationship expert, Nedra Glover Tawwab.

Nedra has practiced relationship therapy for 15 years and is the founder and owner of the group therapy practice, Kaleidoscope Counseling. Every day she helps people create healthy relationships by teaching them how to implement boundaries. Her philosophy is that a lack of boundaries and assertiveness underlie most relationship issues, and her gift is helping people create healthy relationships with themselves and others. This episode has the potential to change your life, so enjoy it!

Nedra’s book, "Set Boundaries Find Peace" and the accompanying workbook are available on amazon, And I highly recommend that you visit her website to take her boundaries quiz…this will help you to determine your next step when it comes to boundaries.

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We are on a mission to improve all of our relationships, and today we discuss the difference between someone who is safe verses someone who is unsafe. This has been a critical (and truthfully, painful) exercise that I have gone through in my own life that has improved my experience of every single relationship that I have. Tune in to hear why it's important to understand safety in relationships and exactly what makes someone relationally safe verses someone who is relationally unsafe. Click here to read the Psychology Today article that I reference in this episode.

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