Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

LIFE AFTER LOSS: We've all recently experienced losses great and small. Some losses feel sad but manageable, such as the loss of the ability meet with friends. Other losses are harder to cope with, like losing your job, or even giving birth to a child without the support of your partner there.

But the worst loss of all, and the one too many around the world are facing, is the loss of a cherished, irreplaceable loved one. There are no words to describe the enormity of the devastation losing a loved one brings. The grief is overwhelming, and feels endless.

How can you cope with grief? How do you manage the waves of sadness? Most importantly, how do you heal and rebuild your life after loss?

To support you in rebuilding yourself and your life after loss, I've asked two of my colleagues to join me for a very special episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

I asked them to talk about the nature of grief and loss, what you can expect when you're grieving, how to cope with the feelings, and ways to compassionately navigate the healing process ahead of you.

They were kind enough to generously share their wisdom and grief counseling advice for things like:

• Why ideas about the "5 stages of grief" are misleading, and what you can really expect when you're coping with loss.
• Why it's so important to give yourself permission to feel all the feelings, without judgment or shame.
• How to step in and out of grief so that it's not overwhelming.
• What the path of healing from grief involves, so you can understand what lies ahead.
• How to release the past and shift back into hope and gratitude for some losses.
• How to compassionately release the idea of "getting over it" and instead find ways of deepening your relationship with a loved one, even after they're physically gone.

We offer all this information with a sincere hope that it provides you with comfort, compassion and direction that supports you in YOUR journey of healing.

With love and respect,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, Anastacia Sams, and Lisa Jordan

Your circumstances aren't what's making you unhappy. Your thoughts are.

That might sound like a bold claim — but it's actually one of the most empowering ideas you'll ever encounter. Because if your thoughts are the source of your stress, worry, and self-doubt, then learning to work with your thoughts is the key to feeling better. And that's exactly what this episode is about.

At Growing Self, one of the first things we help people understand is that happiness isn't something that happens to you when life finally goes your way. It starts on the inside. When you learn to manage what's happening in your own mind, everything else — your relationships, your confidence, your ability to take action — begins to shift too.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

In this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm walking you through the exact framework we teach our counseling and coaching clients:

This isn't abstract self-help. These are real, actionable skills that you can start practicing today.

I hope this episode meets you exactly where you are — and helps you take one step closer to feeling like yourself again.

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Feeling bad and being depressed are not the same thing.

What some call "dark emotions" — grief, sadness, disappointment, regret, hurt — aren't just a normal part of life. They're actually essential to it. Uncomfortable feelings are often what push us toward change, growth, and a deeper understanding of who we are and what we need. When you sit with those feelings instead of running from them, something meaningful can happen. That's not depression. That's being human.

What Is Depression?

Depression is something else entirely. Unlike the difficult emotions that can spark insight and growth, depression isn't instructive or motivating — it's an illness. It affects the way you think, feel, and function, and it doesn't come with a silver lining. In fact, depression often needs to be addressed and treated before real personal growth becomes possible at all.

In this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm breaking down what depression actually is — and what it isn't. I'll walk you through how to recognize the symptoms in yourself or someone you love.

How to Tackle Depression

We'll also cover what to do if you think depression might be affecting your life — including natural remedies, cognitive behavioral therapy, and when medication makes the most sense. I'll also talk about how to support a partner or loved one who may be struggling.

Depression exists on a spectrum, and at its most serious, it can become life-threatening. If you or someone you love needs help right now, please reach out:

Colorado Crisis Hotline: 1-844-493-8255

My hope is that this episode helps you get clarity on what you're going through — and if depression is part of your story, that it leaves you feeling hopeful and ready to take your next step. Depression is very treatable, and you don't have to face it alone.

Lisa Marie Bobby

On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast (as well as other episodes to come), I'm providing you with new ideas and growth activities that will help you move yourself forward on a deep level, while the world around us stops.

To begin, I'm speaking with my dear Olivia, the mastermind behind Decluttered Intentions, about simple things you can do to:

• Create organization and order in your personal space
• Cultivate spaciousness and peace inside of yourself
• Release the opportunity to bury yourself in busyness
• Understand your patterns and ways of relating to the world
• Create order in your routines
• Curate your thinking patterns in a way to create gratitude, appreciation, and contentment.
• Connect with your dreams so that you can design a sanctuary within your home that nourishes you from the inside out.

I hope that these ideas and activities help YOU use this special, quiet time to move forward on your journey of growth.

All the best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Ps: One of the resources I mentioned in this episode is my "What's Holding You Back" assessment, that gives you insight into your personal strengths and growth opportunities in a variety of domains. Text "GROW" to 55444 if you'd like to take it. xoxo, LMB

FINDING BALANCE: We want to have everything. We want and need to have rules and structure to protect us and guide our lives. Yet we also crave freedom and independence. We long to have empathy and compassion in our relationships,but we also want to be challenged so that we can grow.

Tight vs. Loose. Protective vs. Forgiving. Planning vs. Being Present. Everything we do exists on a continuum, a spectrum of finding balance between extremes so that we can create a healthy path on every level.

Dr. Michele Gelfand is the author of "Rule Makers, Rule Breakers: How Tight and Loose Cultures Wire Our World," she's been on the stage of TedEx, she's been featured on The Hidden Brain podcast, and now she's here with me to share her wisdom with YOU.

I hope her fascinating insights help you find a healthy balance in your life.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

Let's face it: Couples and money is a hot-button issue for many relationships. Sooner or later, all successful long-term couples need to work together to figure out how to communicate productively about money so that they can get on the same page and create a shared financial future. This is not always easy under the best of circumstances. 

Now, many couples are facing financial uncertainty or even a financial crisis (thanks coronavirus). It's more important than ever to be working as a united team around finances so that your relationship stays strong and healthy... even if your bank account takes a hit.

To help you have constructive, drama free conversations about money with your partner, I've invited my colleague Meagan Terry to give us the scoop on exactly what to do (and what NOT to do) in order to have loving, respectful, and effective conversations about finances that create unity and connection. 

Meagan is a highly experienced marriage counselor who has helped countless couples stop financial conflict and get on the same page around money. Now she's here for YOU. Listen, and get  her actionable tips you can start using today!

With love, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

ADVICE FROM A CAREER COACH | In addition to everything else in your life being upended by the coronavirus pandemic, you probably have a slew of new "coronavirus career anxieties" in addition to the usual coronavirus anxiety that's buzzing inside everyone right now.

Many people are very worried about their career future right now. Many jobs have been lost to coronavirus, and with the threat of recession, there may be more layoffs to come. (Read: Coping With a Layoff) For those among us lucky enough to have stable employment, we now figure out how to maintain our professionalism via online video meetings, work from home while balancing childcare, homeschooling and more.

In times like these it's absolutely normal to be worried about work, and help is here.

Today I've tapped a couple of my career coaching colleagues to discuss important questions like: 

• What to do if you lost your job
• How to get a bridge job right now if you need one
• How to use this time to develop yourself professionally and make long term career plans
• How to protect your long-term career goals from coronavirus, if they're getting derailed right now
• Managing anxiety about your career
• Best practices when working from home for online video meetings
• Balancing work and life when you're working from home
• And more!

Join us for some timely coronavirus career advice on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

If you're cooped up at home, bickering with your spouse (or worse) help is here: I asked my colleague, online marriage counselor and relationship coach Silas Hendrich to join me on the podcast and offer his relationship advice.

We talked about things you can do right now to not just improve communication, but also restore and strengthen your emotional bond during this challenging time.

Takeaways:

• How some people (often men) tend to internalize stress and withdraw
• How some people (often women) tend to exernalize stress and need to talk
• How this (predictibly!) creates a communication gap and emotional mis-match
• How to stop the ensuing pursue / withdraw cycle and start connecting compassionately
• How to cultivate different ways for couples to understand each other so they can have more empathy and understanding, and meet each other's needs
• Exercises that couples can do to improve communication
• How to get on the same page and create agreements and understanding
• Ways of communicating with your partner in tense moments so that you can grow closer as a couple, instead of creating conflict

I sincerely hope that the excellent, actionable communication tips Silas shared are helpful to both of you right now.

With love, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

Breakups are painful enough on their own — but for many people, the real struggle begins after the split. The sleepless nights, the mental replay of every conversation, the desperate search for answers. And underneath it all, two haunting questions: Will I ever feel okay again? And when?

Because so much of my work centers on breakup and divorce recovery, I hear from a lot of people who are deep in that pain. But recently, one listener of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast reached out in a way that genuinely stopped me in my tracks. She had read my book "Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to An Ex Love" and still had questions — so instead of sending an email, she recorded a heartfelt video sharing them.

Watching her speak so openly, I kept thinking: she's not the only one going through this. I reached out to ask if I could share her recording on the podcast so others in the same boat could hear the answers too. She graciously said yes — and this episode is the result.

If you're navigating a breakup and find yourself asking things like...

...this episode of the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast was made for you.

My hope is that this conversation gives you something real to hold onto on your road to healing.

xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Coronavirus anxiety? Struggling with the new reality of "Corona Life?" You're not alone. I recently polled some of my tribe on Instagram to see how they were doing mentally and emotionally during the Coronavirus crisis we are all experiencing together.

In efforts to help you manage Coronavirus anxiety and cultivate emotional resilience, I am devoting this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast to addressing your questions about coping with "Coronavirus Life" in order to provide new ideas and direction.

Specifically:

• "I am freaking out about Coronavirus. How do I stop worrying about getting sick? Or being worried that people I love will get Coronavirus?"
• "I'm having anxiety about separation during the Coronavirus quarantine, and I am so sad about being cut off from everyone. What do I do?"
• "What are some of the best self-care strategies for dealing with Coronavirus stress?"
• "Being cooped up at home with my spouse is taking a toll on my relationship. How do we handle the stress of this situation without damaging our relationship?"
• "I'm so worried about my financial future thanks to Coronavirus. What do I do?"
• "Coronavirus has destroyed my life. I can't deal with the uncertainty of not knowing what is happening."

I'm answering these listener questions and sharing some special, free resources for my listeners (You!!) on this episode. I hope this discussion and the resources I'm sharing helps you find new coping skills, and practices that help build a firm foundation of emotional resilience inside yourself right now.

Wishing you all the best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby