Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

BECOMING EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY: Feelings. They happen to everyone, all the time. And yet, we don't always acknowledge them or talk about our feelings, much less take guidance from our emotions.

Particularly in our culture, individuals and couples on a quest of "Happiness" can come to believe that being happy means being relatively free of dark emotions, like anger, sadness or fear. In fact, the opposite is true: Research shows that the happiest, most emotionally healthy people are actually the ones who are most comfortable with the full range of their emotions.

Emotionally healthy people tend to be both self-accepting and self-aware: They know how they feel, and they have a great deal of tolerance and self-compassion when they're not feeling so great emotionally. They don't try to avoid bad feelings, and they also know how to (gently, appropriately) support themselves through challenging times. 

Emotionally healthy people tend to be attuned to their emotions (and those of others). They know how to "lean in" to hard feelings with acceptance and without judgment. However, even though they're fully connected with their feelings they may not always react or take action from their emotions. A core component of authentic emotional health is knowing which feelings to listen to and which feelings to leave alone.

It can be hard to develop emotional health and learn how to stay in balance between taking wisdom from your emotions, but not always "obeying them. Learning how to tell the difference between helpful and unhelpful feelings, helps you develop self-compassion, self-understanding, and self-control. 

A key aspect of holistic personal growth is learning how to have an authentic, self-aware, and sensitive relationship with your own emotions. This kind of powerful personal growth work often addresses: 

• The life experiences that shaped your emotional reality and core beliefs
• Acknowledging any unfinished business with the past
• Identifying and understanding your unique emotional triggers
• Figuring out which feelings are guiding you helpfully
• Using your emotions to connect with your hopes, dreams and values
• Pinpointing the emotions that are getting in your way

It's a lot! While this type of personal growth work often takes months (if not years) of focused attention in therapy or life coaching,it's so worth it. Becoming emotionally healthy is a foundational life skill for anyone on the path of self-actualization. 

Learning how to manage your emotions skillfully allows you to have better relationships with others, feel happier, improve your self-esteem, and also create a meaningful, values-based life for yourself. It's worth talking about, and that's where we're going together today on The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

In addition to talking through all of the above, I'm answering some specific listener questions like:

• "How do I get my emotions under control and stop being so reactive?"
• "How do I stop allowing my anxiety to get in the way of my relationships?"
• "How do I feel less numb and 'blah' and more engaged with my life?"”

All for YOU, on this episode of the podcast. 

See you there!

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

PS: Resources I mentioned on today's show include the "Happy Heart" unit of my online Happiness Class, as well as a self-soothing breathing technique I shared on IGTV.

PPS: Once again, I recorded this episode LIVE on Instagram so that I could answer some real-time listener questions. If you'd like to join next time, follow me @drlisamariebobbyand you'll see me LIVE in your stories (almost) every Monday at 12pm MT. Hope to see you there! LMB

Modern dating is complex and challenging. I've had so many listener questions about dating coming in lately, that I just had to address them on a podcast! In particular, we're diving deep and talking through some of the more complicated aspects of "dating life" that many people struggle with, like:

What to do when you're terribly sad about being single?

How do you know if you're ready to date after a bad breakup or divorce?

If you're a single parent, when should you tell the kids about your new relationship?

How do you trust a new person if you've been betrayed in the past?

All that, and more, on this episode...

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

PS: Do YOU have questions? Ask away!

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your life? Like you have so much to do and you're always busy, but also like you're not actually getting things done? Or, worse, are you SO busy that things are actually starting to fall through the cracks? Eek!

This is incredibly stressful, and yet so many people are struggling with it: Especially conscientious, hardworking and responsible types.

If this is a "pain point" for you, too, I hope you join me on this episode, to learn about:

• What types of core belief and approaches to life lead to feelings of overwhelm
• How perfectionism and over achievement is correlated with being LESS successful
• How stress leads to anxiety (and too much anxiety leads to paralysis)
• The type of mindset that helps you do more (and feel happier at the same time)
• How to recognize when you're spiraling into burnout and how to stop it
• How to do a "hard reset" on overwhelm and start getting things done
• How to get reconnected to your true values, goals and priorities
• What to focus on first if you're spiraling
• Strategies to help you identify and focus on what is truly important (and say buh-bye to the rest)
• Surprising tips and tricks to relax your body and mind, and enter a state of focused productivity

All for YOU, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: How well do you understand other people? How well do you understand yourself? Do you know how to handle emotionally sensitive moments? 

Because emotional intelligence skills really are so important, I decided to devote an entire episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast to helping you understand emotional intelligence and how to improve emotional intelligence. 

Listen, and learn:

• Signs of low emotional intelligence
• Consequences of low emotional intelligence
• Why some people have higher emotional intelligence than others
• Emotional intelligence and empathy
• Why self-awareness is the key first step to developing emotional intelligence
• How to improve emotional intelligence
• How to tell if you're emotionally intelligent or not
• Different emotional intelligence quizzes and assessment strategies
• Specific exercises to improve emotional intelligence.

All the best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Ps: Get access to the resources we discussed in this episode on the post for this episode here. 

Do you ruminate? Think about things that happened in the past? Worry about what could happen in the future? Feel irritated with other people? Or struggle with the anxiety of comparing yourself with others? 

There is an alternative to being at the mercy of your mercurial mind. Learning how to mindfully and with intention get in control of your inner experience can help you break free from anxiety and worry, rise above stress, attain profound levels of empathy and connection with others, and feel happier and more joyful in the process.

But how? How do we rise above the churning of our minds and our egos, to enter into a state of compassion and connection? Well, my guest on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast is Preethaji, a philosopher, mystic, the author of The Four Sacred Secrets and the co-founder of the international school of self-development, the O & O Academy based in India.

Listen to this episode as Preethaji and I discuss:

• How to liberate yourself from a state of suffering
• How to find clarity and purpose within
• How to intentionally shift into a state of love, peace and calm
• How to feel more connected to others, to the universe, and to yourself
• How to transform your most important relationships through love and compassion

We're digging deep, discussing how to mindfully heal old wounds, release self-limiting old beliefs, and taking responsibility for the way you show up in the world. I posed a couple of YOUR questions to her too, and her perspective was refreshing.

I really enjoyed speaking with Preethaji, and I hope you get as much out of listening to this episode as I did in making it for you.

Your fellow traveler,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

www.GrowingSelf.com

YOUR RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS, ANSWERED | Lately, I've had quite a few listeners and readers get in touch with their relationship questions. I thought I'd devote an entire episode of the podcast to answering them! Specifically, I'm offering free relationship advice around these common questions on today's episode:

• What to do when you're feeling bored in your relationship, and are concerned because you're married but have a crush on someone else.
• What to do when you and your partner have different love languages
• Whether to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't listen to you
• How to get your partner to take more initiative for household tasks
• What to do when your partner has a substance abuse problem but won't get help
• What to do when your boyfriend keeps putting off getting engaged
• How to handle it when your partner is acting like a child in the relationship

Your burning relationship questions answered, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast!

All the best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

www.GrowingSelf.com

PS: One of the resources I mentioned to a listener's question was our "How Healthy is Your Relationship" quiz. Click the link if you'd like to take it too.

PSS: Do YOU have a question? You're welcome to ask it here on the comments section for this post: https://www.growingself.com/free-relationship-advice-from-a-marriage-counselor, or via my Instagram page: https://www.instagram.com/drlisamariebobby I just might answer it on an upcoming episode! :)

THE POWER OF DECLUTTERING: Do you ever feel oppressed by all the stuff you're hanging on to? Is it hard to get organized, and stay organized? Do you feel like your life is crammed full of obligations, relationships, things — even a career — that no longer fits the person you've grown into?

Intentionally getting clear about who you are NOW, and where you want to go with your life can help you cut through all the clutter and develop an environment and a lifestyle that feels satisfying and congruent with the best parts ofyou.

True, meaningful decluttering goes much deeper than just cleaning out a closet. Decluttering and maintaining a values-based, intentional lifestyle is an exercise in personal clarity and evolution. To help YOU along your journey of renewal and growth I've invited decluttering expert Olivia Heine to join me on the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

If you're looking for some decluttering inspiration, you'll definitely want to listen to this episode. We're discussing:

• How decluttering your life can lead to emotional growth and healing
• How to get clarity about your self and your life goals, so that you know what to keep and what to let go of
• How to use the process of decluttering as a vehicle that can actually help you process unfinished emotional business from the past
• Why releasing physical possessions is often the first step in making positive changes in other parts of your life
• How to deal with tricky emotions (like guilt) that make it hard to let go of things
• How to declutter your life, your relationships, your career, and your time
• How the practice of decluttering helps you feel more confident and empowered
• How holding space in your life for the things that ARE important to you helps you create the life you want
• How to maintain an organized, intentional lifestyle long-term
• And more!

So much good stuff to share with you. Olivia and I hope this discussion helps YOU get clear about who you are, what you want.... and what it's time to release!

All the best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

www.GrowingSelf.com

Ps: Questions? Comments? Join the conversation! www.growingself.com/the-power-of-decluttering

On today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm talking all about how to not JUST find your purpose and highest calling, but how to start living your life with self-awareness and intention so that you can design the reality you want. Specifically, we're discussing:

• Why your ultimate purpose in life is bigger than your career
• How to fully embrace the amount of power you already have to design the life you want
• How to uncover the unconscious beliefs and messages that have been leading to life circumstances you don't want
• Targeted questions to help you get clear about what your truth is
• The importance of deliberately living in congruence with your highest and best
• How to develop self-awareness and mindfulness strategies that will allow you to take control of your thoughts, feelings and behaviors
• How living intentionally and in congruence with your values leads to authentic happiness

If you have been feeling stuck lately and are struggling to find clarity and direction in life, I hope you listen to this episode.

With love and respect,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Ps: One of the strategies I offered on this episode involves thinking about times that you experience "flow" and writing about it. You are invited to share your "flow moments" in the comments on the blog at www.GrowingSelf.com!

Did you know that right now is possibly the best time you'll have all year to make real and lasting change in your life? That's not hyperbole. In my experience as a therapist, life coach, marriage counselor, and fellow traveler on this journey of life, I have noticed that this season -- the annual transition from summer to fall -- is often when people are feeling most intrinsically motivated, and most able to make real and lasting change in their lives.

Perhaps it's a natural itch to get back to work after the languid summer season, particularly if you've done a good job of relaxing well. Perhaps it's a lifetime of major life transitions in the form of back to school experiences. For whatever reason, now is the time when you're ready to cultivate fresh new energy in your life and plant the seeds of a new chapter. Whether it's your career, your clutter, your personal habits, or your how you spend your time that is begging for re-evaluation, the time is ripe to sweep out the old and usher in the new.

On this episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm going to be teaching you four crucial steps to practice as you harness the natural, transformational power of this season and use it to affect real and lasting change in your life. You'll learn how to access your self awareness, create intentional change, get deeper access to your core values, and make changes that last.

Here's to your liberation!

Lisa Marie Bobby  

Many people get involved with therapy or life coachinghere at Growing Self in order to improve all their relationships — not just their romantic partnerships or marriages. Let's face it: Friendships can present their own unique challenges.

If this is an area of growth for you, too, you'll definitely want to listen to this episode. I'll be discussing:

• Why friendships end
• How the dynamics of friendships are similar to and different from romantic relationships
• How to mend a friendship that has been feeling strained
• What to do about toxic friendships
• How to cope if you've been ghosted by a friend
• The path of healing after an unexpected friendship loss
• How to end a friendship compassionately
• How to change a friendship if you need different boundaries with a friend

I hope these ideas help you strengthen your friendships and keep healthy people in your life!

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, LMFT, LP, BCC

Ps: Thoughts? Questions? Comments? Here's the link to join the discussion at GrowingSelf.com