No Visible Bruises

In this episode, I want to talk to you about the 4 trauma responses when we talk about narcissistic abuse. Many of you have heard about fight, flight and freeze, but there's also a fourth one that’s lesser known - fawn or appease. So let’s go through each of these four, and see if you can resonate with any of them.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

• What happens in our brain when we perceive danger
• What is fight response and what is behind the anger you feel
• Flight response and how it connects with anxiety
• Freeze response, depression and survival mode
• Fawn or Appease response and why it is typical for narcissistic abuse

Can you recognize those trauma responses in your behavior? Which ones were you in the most? Were you like me? Let me know!

Resources:

• 001 Why Narcissistic Abuse is Trauma https://www.carolinestrawson.com/001-why-narcissistic-abuse-is-trauma/
• Join my Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

I get so many messages every day from people all over the world asking - Am I A Narcissist? The first answer I always say back to them is no, you're not a narcissist because no narcissist would ever ask themselves such a question.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

• Why narcissists will never describe themselves as narcissists
• How your doubts reveal your being abused
• The psychological changes that happen in your brain due to narcissistic abuse
• Why you feel like you can’t get out of a narcissistic relationship
• In what cases narcissists will seemingly admit their abusive behaviour

If you are feeling upset right now wondering if You are the narcissist, please let me tell you you are definitely not. But it is good to have awareness that the reason you're thinking that is because you've been the victim of narcissistic abuse, and what you need to do now is get intentional about your healing.

Resources:

• 010 Why Talk Therapy Alone Can't Heal Narcissistic Abuse https://www.carolinestrawson.com/010-why-talk-therapy-alone-cant-heal-narcissistic-abuse/
• 003 What is Complex PTSD https://www.carolinestrawson.com/003-what-is-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder/
• Join my Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

I get so many messages every day from people all over the world asking - Am I A Narcissist? The first answer I always say back to them is no, you're not a narcissist because no narcissist would ever ask themselves such a question.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

• Why narcissists will never describe themselves as narcissists
• How your doubts reveal your being abused
• The psychological changes that happen in your brain due to narcissistic abuse
• Why you feel like you can’t get out of a narcissistic relationship
• In what cases narcissists will seemingly admit their abusive behaviour

If you are feeling upset right now wondering if You are the narcissist, please let me tell you you are definitely not. But it is good to have awareness that the reason you're thinking that is because you've been the victim of narcissistic abuse, and what you need to do now is get intentional about your healing.

Resources:

• 010 Why Talk Therapy Alone Can't Heal Narcissistic Abuse https://www.carolinestrawson.com/010-why-talk-therapy-alone-cant-heal-narcissistic-abuse/
• 003 What is Complex PTSD https://www.carolinestrawson.com/003-what-is-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder/
• Join my Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

Today I want to talk to you about a term that you may have seen associated with narcissistic abuse.. This is Grey Rocking, and I’m going to explain how to be a Grey Rock around the narcissist.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

• What Grey Rock means in the communication with a narcissist
• Why it is necessary to adopt this behavior
• How to avoid being activated by what the narcissist says
• Practical tools to modify your communication with the narcissist
• What reaction to Grey Rocking you can expect from them

I want you to give it a go now and be the Grey Rock to the narcissist. It gives you a sense of control, and being like that doesn't mean you're giving in. What it means is yourself taking your power back, so you can recognise that you deserve to heal, to survive, and you deserve 100% to thrive after the trauma of narcissistic abuse.

Resources:

• The Trauma Bond & Addiction to the Narcissist https://www.carolinestrawson.com/011-the-trauma-bond-addiction-to-the-narcissist/
• Join my Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse 

Today I want to talk to you about a term that you may have seen associated with narcissistic abuse.. This is Grey Rocking, and I’m going to explain how to be a Grey Rock around the narcissist.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

• What Grey Rock means in the communication with a narcissist
• Why it is necessary to adopt this behavior
• How to avoid being activated by what the narcissist says
• Practical tools to modify your communication with the narcissist
• What reaction to Grey Rocking you can expect from them

I want you to give it a go now and be the Grey Rock to the narcissist. It gives you a sense of control, and being like that doesn't mean you're giving in. What it means is yourself taking your power back, so you can recognise that you deserve to heal, to survive, and you deserve 100% to thrive after the trauma of narcissistic abuse.

Resources:

• The Trauma Bond & Addiction to the Narcissist https://www.carolinestrawson.com/011-the-trauma-bond-addiction-to-the-narcissist/
• Join my Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse 

I get messaged many times about the fact that people just can't break that addiction to the narcissist even if they know that it isn't the right thing for them to keep on messaging or emailing the narcissist in their life. We actually call this a trauma bond, and in this episode I explain exactly what it is.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

• What is Stockholm Syndrome and how it relates to the trauma bond
• What behaviour of the narcissist forms the trauma bond
• What neuropeptides are and the brain chemistry side of the trauma bond
• How to start creating the safe space for you to start healing
• Why it is absolutely necessary to block or extremely modify communication with the narcissist in your life

Remember where you are right now with creating those neuropeptides, because that’s what we are addicted to. In order to break the addiction to the narcissist, we've got to calm that nervous system, so that we can create a space for you to start to heal the trauma of narcissistic abuse.

Resources:

• 010 Why Talk Therapy Alone Can't Heal Nracissistc Abuse https://www.carolinestrawson.com/010-why-talk-therapy-alone-cant-heal-narcissistic-abuse/
• 003 What is Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder https://www.carolinestrawson.com/003-what-is-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder/
• Join my Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse 

I get messaged many times about the fact that people just can't break that addiction to the narcissist even if they know that it isn't the right thing for them to keep on messaging or emailing the narcissist in their life. We actually call this a trauma bond, and in this episode I explain exactly what it is.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

• What is Stockholm Syndrome and how it relates to the trauma bond
• What behaviour of the narcissist forms the trauma bond
• What neuropeptides are and the brain chemistry side of the trauma bond
• How to start creating the safe space for you to start healing
• Why it is absolutely necessary to block or extremely modify communication with the narcissist in your life

Remember where you are right now with creating those neuropeptides, because that’s what we are addicted to. In order to break the addiction to the narcissist, we've got to calm that nervous system, so that we can create a space for you to start to heal the trauma of narcissistic abuse.

Resources:

• 010 Why Talk Therapy Alone Can't Heal Nracissistc Abuse https://www.carolinestrawson.com/010-why-talk-therapy-alone-cant-heal-narcissistic-abuse/
• 003 What is Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder https://www.carolinestrawson.com/003-what-is-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder/
• Join my Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse 

While talking therapy does have a place in the recovery process, in this episode I'm going to explain to you exactly why talk therapy alone can't heal narcissistic abuse.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

• Complex PTSD and why it so difficult to heal
• The benefits and limits of talk therapy like CBT and DBT
• Why you need a therapist who has been through the trauma of narcissistic abuse
• Why talk therapy can access only 10% of your brain and what to do with the rest
• How talk therapy can sometimes actually make you feel worse
• How EMDR and Brainspotting therapies work

Wherever you are on your healing journey, please make sure that you are getting the right treatment for you. Look for a therapist who has been through what you have been through, and who is using brain-body based somatic psychotherapies, so they can help you shift in the part of the brain where the trauma is stuck, because if you don't do that, you could be in talk therapy for years.

Resources:

• Episode 003 What is Complex PTSD https://www.carolinestrawson.com/003-what-is-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder/ 
• Join my Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse 

While talking therapy does have a place in the recovery process, in this episode I'm going to explain to you exactly why talk therapy alone can't heal narcissistic abuse.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

• Complex PTSD and why it so difficult to heal
• The benefits and limits of talk therapy like CBT and DBT
• Why you need a therapist who has been through the trauma of narcissistic abuse
• Why talk therapy can access only 10% of your brain and what to do with the rest
• How talk therapy can sometimes actually make you feel worse
• How EMDR and Brainspotting therapies work

Wherever you are on your healing journey, please make sure that you are getting the right treatment for you. Look for a therapist who has been through what you have been through, and who is using brain-body based somatic psychotherapies, so they can help you shift in the part of the brain where the trauma is stuck, because if you don't do that, you could be in talk therapy for years.

Resources:

• Episode 003 What is Complex PTSD https://www.carolinestrawson.com/003-what-is-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder/ 
• Join my Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse 

Gaslighting is a very insidious form of psychological abuse. It leaves the victims feeling insane, thinking they are the crazy ones. In this episode I’m going to tell you some stories about gaslighting, so you can recognise it when you see it or experience it.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

• Why narcissists will never question themselves
• The examples of gaslighting
• How continuous gaslighting changes your brain physiologically
• Why you need to learn to believe your gut
• Being angry with yourself as a sign of healing  

I'd love to hear if you've got any stories of gaslighting. Are they as wild as wacky as mine?

Resources:

• Divorce Became My Superpower by Caroline Strawson https://www.amazon.co.uk/Divorce-Became-Superpower-Caroline-Strawson/dp/1726255549/
• https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse