No Visible Bruises

Gaslighting is a very insidious form of psychological abuse. It leaves the victims feeling insane, thinking they are the crazy ones. In this episode I’m going to tell you some stories about gaslighting, so you can recognise it when you see it or experience it.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

• Why narcissists will never question themselves
• The examples of gaslighting
• How continuous gaslighting changes your brain physiologically
• Why you need to learn to believe your gut
• Being angry with yourself as a sign of healing  

I'd love to hear if you've got any stories of gaslighting. Are they as wild as wacky as mine?

Resources:

• Divorce Became My Superpower by Caroline Strawson https://www.amazon.co.uk/Divorce-Became-Superpower-Caroline-Strawson/dp/1726255549/
• https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse 

Today I’m talking about the family dynamics of narcissistic abuse, and the different roles that occur within a family. In particular, I want to talk about the scapegoat within the family when you have a narcissistic parent.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

• What is a scapegoat?
• Why narcissistic mothers are particularly harmful to a child
• The examples of scapegoating within a family
• How scapegoating affects a child’s beliefs about themselves
• Why narcissistic personality disorder cannot be cured
• How you can heal your children by healing your own codependency

I'm a big believer that when you heal yourself you heal the next generation. So just because your children have a parent that is a narcissist does not mean that they will be a codependent or a narcissist. You can break the cycle of scapegoating, you can heal, and the reason I know that is because that's exactly what I did.

Resources:

• https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

Today I’m talking about the family dynamics of narcissistic abuse, and the different roles that occur within a family. In particular, I want to talk about the scapegoat within the family when you have a narcissistic parent.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

• What is a scapegoat?
• Why narcissistic mothers are particularly harmful to a child
• The examples of scapegoating within a family
• How scapegoating affects a child’s beliefs about themselves
• Why narcissistic personality disorder cannot be cured
• How you can heal your children by healing your own codependency

I'm a big believer that when you heal yourself you heal the next generation. So just because your children have a parent that is a narcissist does not mean that they will be a codependent or a narcissist. You can break the cycle of scapegoating, you can heal, and the reason I know that is because that's exactly what I did.

Resources:

• https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

It's not a coincidence that you end up in a relationship with a narcissist. There are always patterns to this type of behaviour. So where does it all start? That’s what we are looking at today.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

• How unhealed inner child wounds manifest in our adult life
• Why it is wrong to leave babies to cry and fall asleep by themselves
• How our brain actually keeps us safe by keeping us stuck in the trauma response
• Where our inner feeling that the world is unsafe comes from
• How to heal and upgrade our inner operative system

What we have to look at here is deep inner child healing. When we heal and upgrade that inner child into your world today, we get a level of understanding, and when we heal that inner wound, we can change everything.

Resources:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse 

It's not a coincidence that you end up in a relationship with a narcissist. There are always patterns to this type of behaviour. So where does it all start? That’s what we are looking at today.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

• How unhealed inner child wounds manifest in our adult life
• Why it is wrong to leave babies to cry and fall asleep by themselves
• How our brain actually keeps us safe by keeping us stuck in the trauma response
• Where our inner feeling that the world is unsafe comes from
• How to heal and upgrade our inner operative system

What we have to look at here is deep inner child healing. When we heal and upgrade that inner child into your world today, we get a level of understanding, and when we heal that inner wound, we can change everything.

Resources:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse 

In today's episode I want to talk about codependency and the narcissist, because a codependent is literally a magnet to a narcissist. We will go over what codependency is, and the mechanism behind the codependent-narcissist mutual attraction.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

• What is exactly codependency?
• The roots of the lack of self-love and self-worth in childhood
• The similarities and differences between a narcissist and a codependent
• How we end up in the vicious circle of a narcissist-codependent relationship
• Why it’s easier to heal codependency than narcissism
• How to start with healing your codependency

When you put expectations on other people to behave in a certain way for you to feel good enough, you're putting your happiness in someone else's hands. You need to take responsibility to go within and heal your wounds first. And when you heal your own codependency, you change everything because you stop looking externally to get your sense of self worth.

Resources:

• Healing Codependency: Self Hate To Self Love Course: https://t4s.site/copy-of-template---quick-flip-funnel-3/healingcodependency-1/
• https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

In today's episode I want to talk about codependency and the narcissist, because a codependent is literally a magnet to a narcissist. We will go over what codependency is, and the mechanism behind the codependent-narcissist mutual attraction.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

• What is exactly codependency?
• The roots of the lack of self-love and self-worth in childhood
• The similarities and differences between a narcissist and a codependent
• How we end up in the vicious circle of a narcissist-codependent relationship
• Why it’s easier to heal codependency than narcissism
• How to start with healing your codependency

When you put expectations on other people to behave in a certain way for you to feel good enough, you're putting your happiness in someone else's hands. You need to take responsibility to go within and heal your wounds first. And when you heal your own codependency, you change everything because you stop looking externally to get your sense of self worth.

Resources:

• Healing Codependency: Self Hate To Self Love Course: https://t4s.site/copy-of-template---quick-flip-funnel-3/healingcodependency-1/
• https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

The question is - can you ever survive narcissistic abuse? Right now you might be feeling like you are in a long dark tunnel, feeling angry, guilty, shameful and having no energy to get out of it. But I’m passionate about helping you and educating you on how to start overcoming this trauma.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

• How to tackle the feeling of overwhelm by narcissistic abuse
• Introduction to our parasympathetic nervous system
• How our childhood wounds condition our nervous system
• The value of body-based therapy for processing childhood trauma
• Being in the present moment as the key for changing your trauma response

So the short answer to whether you can survive narcissistic abuse is yes, absolutely. And I don't just want you to survive, I want you to thrive and help you find meaning in what you have been through.

Resources:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

The question is - can you ever survive narcissistic abuse? Right now you might be feeling like you are in a long dark tunnel, feeling angry, guilty, shameful and having no energy to get out of it. But I’m passionate about helping you and educating you on how to start overcoming this trauma.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

• How to tackle the feeling of overwhelm by narcissistic abuse
• Introduction to our parasympathetic nervous system
• How our childhood wounds condition our nervous system
• The value of body-based therapy for processing childhood trauma
• Being in the present moment as the key for changing your trauma response

So the short answer to whether you can survive narcissistic abuse is yes, absolutely. And I don't just want you to survive, I want you to thrive and help you find meaning in what you have been through.

Resources:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

So you found yourself married to a narcissist, and you are thinking about leaving. Or maybe you have already started the process of divorcing a narcissist, and you realise that it is only just beginning. In this episode we are covering steps and resources that can help you go through this difficult process.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

• Why divorcing a narcissist is not like other divorces
• How to take care of your personal safety first
• The three lanes when divorcing a narcissist
• Legal lane aspects: divorce, children and finances
• Why mediation doesn’t work with a narcissist
• Emotional lane: blocking or modifying communication
• Other people lane: creating new friendships based on trust, love and connection   

Know that the first year of divorcing a narcissist is going to be really tough, but you can do it. I trust you and I believe in you, but you've got to focus on your safety and on your mental health.

Resources:

• McKenzie Friend, http://www.mckenziefriend.co.uk/
• Our Family Wizard https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/
• https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse