Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Mental illness and addiction, as well as betrayal trauma, can be parallel struggles! And it can be very difficult to understand where one starts and the other begins, or which one leads to the other.

In this episode, Mark talks raw and real about his own struggles with mental illness that began as a small child and how that morphed into and ran alongside his decades of addiction.

Mark and Steve also discuss some important aspects of mental illness and addiction/betrayal trauma—

-  Addiction can be its "own" mental illness/brain dis-order, but also interacts toxically with other conditions--the "catalyst effect" and "the chicken and the egg."

-  Addiction can MIMIC and/or trigger mental illness symptoms related to ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, shame and depression, anxiety and many others.

-  HOW can we BREAK the CYCLE?  First of all, there is GREAT HOPE! Second, we can eliminate certain "variables" to get on a healthy path. There are also certain areas we can STABILIZE.  Also, be REALISTIC about expectations—it's about PROGRESS not PERFECTION. Safety is created in the TRAJECTORY not necessarily the DESTINATION.

-  Mark and Steve give a very specific assignment that is VERY HELPFUL!


Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Here's an article about healing Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video

Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction

Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn

How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage

It's hard enough navigating through porn/sex addiction and betrayal trauma as adults! But what happens when we're raising kids at the same time? What should we disclose to our kids, if anything at all? And if we do disclose—how, when and how much should we share?

And how can we create an environment where we don't pass on the same dysfunctional behaviors to our children? How do we help them to grow up and be sexually and relationally healthy?

In this episode, Mark talks raw and real about his experience as a dad in addiction and his wife in betrayal trauma as they tried to raise 6 kids! Steve plays the "therapist" in asking Mark questions about those "dark days" and what we can all learn as parents or future parents.

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Here's an article about healing Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video

Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction

Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn

How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage

We're all SO glad 2020 is over! In fact, we should all receive a t-shirt that reads, "I Survived 2020!" And we're all hoping 2021 will be SO much better. But . . . the reality is, this year could bring some challenges even more daunting than last year! We just don't know.

The key is to seek emotional health and resilience for ourselves personally and as a couple-ship, NO MATTER WHAT this year brings! In this episode, Mark and Steve share some practical, in-the-trenches ways to maintain and even increase your emotional wellbeing amidst whatever chaos 2021 may bring.   

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Here's an article about healing Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video

Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction

Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn

How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage

Can you believe it--it's a NEW YEAR!  And it's that infamous time again--New Year's Resolutions!  In this episode Mark and Steve get real about WHY these resolutions virtually never work to produce long-term LASTING change. Using the "resolution" approach, especially for overcoming porn addiction and healing betrayal trauma, often does just the opposite! Here's why—

-  We mistake "novelty" and initial "excitement" as true commitment.

-  New Year's Resolution "energy" is only temporary--the brain CANNOT sustain it!

-  Mark and Steve declared "blood oaths" and "this will be the absolute LAST time, only to fall right back into old addiction habits by February.

-  It's NOT about goals—it must be about "Daily Systems" if you want to succeed long-term.

-  It's NOT about quantity or even quality--it's all about CONSISTENCY.

-  Learn the Power of Piggybacking to harness your brain's natural change capacities.

-  Learn the True Formula for CHANGE in the New Year--and it's NOT the old New Year's Resolution!


Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Here's an article about healing Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video

Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction

Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn

How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage

This episode is a kind of "Christmas gift" from Mark and Steve to their listeners. They talk raw and open about how too many Christmas seasons over their decades of deep addiction were anything but merry and joyful!

But, today Christmas time is SO MUCH BETTER! Mark and Steve share HOW they and their wives have turned Christmas into a truly enjoyable, peaceful, connecting time. Recovery, healing and Christmas truly can harmonize!

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Here's an article about healing Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video

Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction

Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn

How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage

During the holidays, "families" can be both an opportunity AND a challenge! Family interactions can support us on our paths of recovery and healing OR knock us off the path!

In this Part Three episode, Mark and Steve offer guidance on HOW to successfully navigate family and the holidays—

-  Balancing TIME between self, marriage and family.

-  What to do when "enmeshed" family dynamics collide with new recovery and healing skills.

-  How we can easily fall into old unhealthy family "roles."

-  How do you learn to say, "No"?

-  How to set and maintain healthy boundaries in family situations.

-  How can you balance Transparency and Safety?

-  Let go of expectations and don't take things personal! 

-  Create NEW holiday traditions that bring Intimacy and Connection. 


Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Here's an article about healing Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video

Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction

Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn

How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage

It's SO easy to "go off the self-care rails" during the Holidays! If we're not careful, we can tend to use as an excuse for laziness, apathy, self-indulgence, disconnection, etc., the old "Yah, but it's the Holidays!"

In this Part Two episode, Steve and Mark talk about their own tendencies to fall prey to "holiday laziness" and how easy it is to fall out of the structure and routine of HEALTHY LIVING!!! 


Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Here's an article about healing Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video

Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction

Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn

How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage

The holidays are a time for MAJOR EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS—good and bad. In fact the Holidays are intended and designed to elicit intense emotions. These can be ignited by our internal or external environments. In this episode (part one of a 3-part holiday series) Mark and Steve get real about HOW to deal with holiday triggers in a healthy way—

-  Normalize your holiday triggers—they're going to happen!

-  Practice simply "being" with your emotions as opposed to "doing" something about them. 

-  Learn to break them down by playing the "what & why game."

-  Once identified, turn to effective tools to manage your triggers.

-  Connect with healthy people who truly care about you.

-  Own your emotions and allow others to own theirs.

-  You may need to let go of some traditions and adopt others that are more healthy.

-  Have an "escape plan" for emotional emergencies.

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Here's an article about healing Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video

Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction

Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn

How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage

It's very natural and legitimate to have certain expectations in our marriage relationship. And we NEED healthy boundaries in order to make steady progress and attain and enjoy real CONNECTION.

But what happens when our relationship expectations come into conflict with our individual recovery and healing boundaries? What happens when expected goals or timelines aren't met or change? How do we deal with setbacks, disappointments and "unmet" expectations? Can expectations and boundaries be "fluid" while at the same time not falling prey to manipulation or complacency?

In this episode Mark and Steve talk about their own personal and marital experience with expectations and boundaries and their journeys with clients in this often difficult-to-navigate subject.   

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Why FULL disclosure is CRITICAL to your Marriage Success:  https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/no-more-secrets-in-your-marriage

Learn why his porn addiction and the Betrayal Trauma it brings is NOT YOUR FAULT—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/his-porn-addiction-not-your-fault

How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage

In their own addictions, recoveries and healing, and working with people all over the world, Mark and Steve have come to understand an "unholy triad" that decimates marriage:  Pride; Shame; and Trauma.

In this episode Mark and Steve get raw and real about how these three HUGE challenges can derail our most cherished relationships and how to begin moving through and beyond them. 


Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Why FULL disclosure is CRITICAL to your Marriage Success:  https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/no-more-secrets-in-your-marriage

Learn why his porn addiction and the Betrayal Trauma it brings is NOT YOUR FAULT—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/his-porn-addiction-not-your-fault

How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage