Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Todd, a former Mark and Steve client, tells his raw and real story of recovery from Sex and Porn Addiction.

Todd also talks about how being convinced from a young age that he had to "earn love," was a BIG part of what led him to and kept him trapped in addiction!

Tune in next week for "Part Two"!


Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction

Wondering IF you have an actual "porn addiction"?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/are-you-addicted-to-porn

Ever wonder WHY LDS men suffer so much shame from porn use?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/lds-porn-addiction-help

In this episode Mark and Steve openly discuss the differences between healthy and toxic sex in marriage—

• What are the differences between a healthy sex drive and a lust/fantasy focus in marriage? 
• You can trigger the "addiction cycle" or the "connection cycle" through the sexual relationship in your marriage—which one do you want?
• What do you know if you're engaging in "lust" or "healthy attraction"? 
• How lust can be a "poison" in the bedroom. 
• How your spouse can be a "lust trigger" and why "toxic sex" is possible in marriage. 
• When it comes to healthy physical intimacy—"intention" is EVERYTHING!
• Great sex is all about what you do OUTSIDE the bedroom and then bring with you into that setting. 
• How to talk openly and intimately as a couple about your sexual relationship.

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

What is the difference between "True Intimacy" and "sex" in a marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/true-intimacy-vs-sex-in-marriage

Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn

How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage

Ready to STOP Keeping Secrets in your marriage?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/no-more-secrets-in-your-marriage

Mark and Steve know from personal experience and helping others, just how heavy, difficult, exhausting and discouraging addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing can be! In this episode they tackle this common issue head-on—

-  How you and your spouse can honor and embrace your pain and feelings without allowing them to derail your recovery and healing.

-  Is your view of recovery and healing (the pain and the blessings) realistic? How to plan and prepare for "the hard"?

-  How to "get selfish in a healthy way" and capture or recapture the "vision" for your recovery and healing--"what's in this for me?"

-  How to find your recovery and healing "fight song;" anthem and inspiration.

-  Learn to "exercise your agency" in the areas of life where it isn't already compromised.

-  Learn to view recovery and healing as a "lifestyle" as opposed to a temporary measure or event.


Visit the PBSE website at:  pbsepodcast.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Here's an article about healing Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/heal-betrayal-trauma-program-utah

Wondering IF you have an actual "porn addiction"?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/are-you-addicted-to-porn

Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction

Ever wonder WHY LDS men suffer so much shame from porn use?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/lds-porn-addiction-help

Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn

We live in a world where honesty is a steadily shrinking virtue! Many in politics, sales, advertising and the media send a subtle or even blatant message that truth is relative, situational or interpretive. But what about issues related to addiction, betrayal, recovery and healing? 

• Is telling the "whole" truth all the time really the "best" policy?
• What exactly is "the truth" when it comes to recovery and healing?
• How important is total truth and transparency to an authentically "intimate" relationship?
• Is "truth at ALL costs" really the most intelligent and healthy approach to recovery and healing?
• What is THE most important truth that should be shared in a marriage relationship?

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn

How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage

Ready to STOP Keeping Secrets in your marriage?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/no-more-secrets-in-your-marriage

What is the difference between "True Intimacy" and "sex" in a marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/true-intimacy-vs-sex-in-marriag

Addiction and Betrayal Trauma both have a dramatic impact on the brain and the heart! And one of the primary barriers to our recovery and healing is our THINKING ERRORS!

In this episode Mark and Steve give personal examples from their own lives about two BIG thinking errors—EMOTIONAL REASONING and the UNREAL IDEAL.

You'll learn how these to thinking errors work, effect us and get in the way of our healing. You'll also learn HOW to move them out of the way so you can progress forward in your recovery and healing--for you and your marriage!


Visit the PBSE website at:  pbsepodcast.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction

Ever wonder WHY LDS men suffer so much shame from porn use?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/lds-porn-addiction-help

Need help healing from Betrayal Trauma?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video

Want to mend your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage

If you want your marriage to truly be ALL that it can be, we HIGHLY recommend pulling out a chair for God at your marriage table. But that can be easier said than done! In this episode, Mark and Steve talk in-depth about HOW to build a marriage partnership with God—

• Addiction and betrayal can easily create a kind of "God-trauma" for each spouse individually and for the marriage--how can you navigate this?
• You each bring your past knowledge and experience with God to your marriage. How can you BUILD on that past to evolve and grow together as a couple?
• Be willing as a couple to explore how your connection with God currently does or doesn't work and what it can become.
• Be willing to try new approaches to spirituality in your marriage.
• Plan out a spiritual direction, but have a willingness to be flexible and adapt as needed. 
• Learn HOW to engage in raw, vulnerable, transparent "couple prayer" as an irreplaceable part of your deep marital connection.  

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn

How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage

Ready to STOP Keeping Secrets in your marriage?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/no-more-secrets-in-your-marriage

What is the difference between "True Intimacy" and "sex" in a marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/true-intimacy-vs-sex-in-marriage

The devastating pain and confusion caused by your husband's porn addiction can easily create a distance or wall between you and God. In this episode, Mark and Steve talk about the realities of Betrayal Trauma HOW you can "let go and let God"—which is NOT easy!—

• Marital Betrayal—WHY would God allow this to happen???
• Manipulation and "Gaslighting" may cause you to doubt your intuition!
• Why didn't God tell you along the way about your husband's betrayal?
• If God won't protect you, then you have to protect yourself? Who has your back?
•  Deeply flawed religious/cultural traditions about "men being more sexual" and a woman's obligation to meet her husband's "needs."
• How to develop a personal "alliance" with God FIRST and then look to the marriage.
• How to establish a CLEAR division of responsibilities—HIS recovery; YOUR healing; the marriage—a "3-part deal" with God enabling and empowering all of it.   

Visit the PBSE website at:  pbsepodcast.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn

How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage

Ready to STOP Keeping Secrets in your marriage?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/no-more-secrets-in-your-marriage

What is the difference between "True Intimacy" and "sex" in a marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/true-intimacy-vs-sex-in-marriage

In the midst of your struggles with pornography, can you also have a relationship with God? Mark and Steve talk open and raw about their personal experience with this conflict. They offer some CRITICAL insights and a specific ASSIGNMENT that has helped them and their clients over the years. 


Visit the PBSE website at:  pbsepodcast.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Addiction and God can be an especially difficult balancing act for LDS men. This article can help you with the issue of porn use and shame—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/lds-porn-addiction-help

Trying to overcome pornography addiction so you can establish a deeper spirituality?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction

Utah has many people who care a great deal about their relationship with God. There is pornography addiction help in Utah—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/pornography-addiction-help-utah

Mark and Steve come back to talk SUPER raw about even MORE marriage mistakes they and their clients have made--and HOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP MAKING THE SAME MISTAKES! In this episode, learn even more from Mark and Steve—

• We're NOT Enemies—we're in this Together—Too often, marriage becomes "him vs. her" in a competition or battle! You CAN learn HOW to shift from "Me" to "WE."
• Being "FULLY PRESENT"—It can be too easy to "be there physically," but absent emotionally. Learn HOW to truly "be there" for each other.
• Begin Seeing Your Spouse on EQUAL Terms—Even though it might be subtle or even subconscious, we can get into a place where we come across as intellectually or spiritually superior, condescending or intimidating. Learn HOW to be EQUALLY YOKED and ONE. 
• Let Your Spouse OWN His or Her Recovery and Healing—Without realizing it, we can step into a place of CONTROL and playing police-woman or police-man with our spouse. Learn HOW to take care of your OWN recovery and healing and watch your relationship naturally come together. 

Visit the PBSE website at:  pbsepodcast.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn

How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage

Ready to STOP Keeping Secrets in your marriage?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/no-more-secrets-in-your-marriage

What is the difference between "True Intimacy" and "sex" in a marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/true-intimacy-vs-sex-in-marriage

During their deep addiction years, Mark and Steve made all the marriage mistakes you can imagine! Now they offer you a great gift—the opportunity to LEARN from their MISTAKES! If they could go back in time knowing what they know now, here's what Mark and Steve would've done different in their MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP—

• During our courtship, I would've been open, honest, vulnerable and transparent—allowing my future wife to SEE the REAL me and KNOW the man she was about to marry. 
• I would've let go of my MACHO attitude of needing to "handle it myself," and "go it alone" (excuses)—and been raw, open and sought serious therapy sooner!
• I would've dared to "get underneath" my anger, silence and other "covering up strategies" to get to my real issues and real trauma. 
• I would've been less obsessed over my "knight-in-shining-armor" complex—"always being right" and realized it was OK to make mistakes in my marriage and ADMIT IT! 
• I would've practiced "being comfortable with the uncomfortable" in my marriage and embraced the "tough conversations"!   

Visit the PBSE website at:  pbsepodcast.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn

How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage

Ready to STOP Keeping Secrets in your marriage?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/no-more-secrets-in-your-marriage

What is the difference between "True Intimacy" and "sex" in a marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/true-intimacy-vs-sex-in-marriage