The Five Love Languages seems like such a helpful relationship tool - until it's weaponized by an abusive partner. I brought this popular book into my own abusive relationship hoping it would help us communicate better, only to watch it become a tool for coercion and manipulation against me. This week, I sit down with sexual coercion expert Nat LaJune to unpack the deeply problematic nature of Gary Chapman's bestselling book. We explore how "physical touch" as a love language is almost always weaponized by abusive men, the patriarchal origins of the book itself, and why the entire framework can enable manipulation in relationships. Nat shares insights from her years of content creation on marital coercion, including the common tactics abusers use and why simply saying "just say no" isn't realistic for women in coercive relationships. We discuss the transactional nature that develops when love languages are weaponized, how any of the five categories can become coercive tools, and the importance of focusing on what you give rather than what you receive. Our conversation also touches on the psychology behind men who feel entitled to sex, the role Christianity plays in enabling sexual coercion, and signs that your relationship may involve coercion you haven't recognized yet.

Resources Mentioned:

"27 Love Languages" piece by Nat LaJune

Connect with Nat LaJune:

Find Nat on social media: @alwaysmending and @natlajune 

https://www.alwaysmending.com/ 

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👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca

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New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

There's a kind of abuse happening in relationships that doesn't involve broken dishes or broken bones, but it's just as damaging. It's the slow destruction of your sense of self through weaponized incompetence, emotional labor dumping, and the constant message that you should just accept less because "that's how men are."

This week, I sit down with Abby Eckel, online content creator known for challenging gender norms and traditional relationship stereotypes. They dive deep into how we're conditioned from childhood to normalize harmful relationship dynamics - from the "boys will be boys" mentality to the expectation that women should just pick up the slack when men refuse to participate in the lives they asked for. Abby shares her insights on the difference between men who genuinely don't understand versus those using weaponized incompetence, why Fair Play doesn't work for most couples, and the reality that you cannot make someone care about your wellbeing. We also discuss the privilege of being able to "just leave" and what women can do when leaving isn't immediately possible.

Resources Mentioned:

Fair Play by Eva Rodsky

"She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink" article

Follow Abby Eckel on Instagram

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This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

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New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Somebody can look you dead in the eye, say everything that you've been dying to hear, and they can still be lying to you. The science behind deception in abusive relationships reveals how manipulators weaponize psychology to systematically break down their victims. This is the podcast they don’t want you listening to.

This week, I'm joined by Dr. Abbie Maroño, a behavioral expert with a PhD in psychology who trains the Secret Service and FBI on deception, body language, and influence. 

We explore the disturbing world of psychological manipulation and how abusers use sophisticated tactics to deceive their victims. Dr. Abbey breaks down the neuroscience behind why we fall for manipulation, explaining how it's not about intelligence but about being human in a world where predators understand psychology. We discuss how abusers systematically strip away your sense of self to gain control, the difference between everyday cognitive dissonance and traumatic cognitive dissonance, and why "love bombing" and intermittent reinforcement create biological addiction. 

Dr. Abbie reveals how false vulnerability is weaponized to fast-track intimacy and trust, why we rationalize abusive behavior, and the concerning trend of men's dating coaches teaching these same manipulation tactics. She emphasizes that manipulators don't need to be "book smart" - they learn through experience and lack of empathy, exploiting the brain's shortcuts to appear trustworthy. We also dive into her experience training law enforcement and the shocking lack of trauma-informed training in the criminal justice system, highlighting why taking time in relationships is crucial for spotting deception.

Connect with Dr. Abbie on Instagram here: @doctorabbieofficial 

Ger her book, The Upper Hand

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This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca

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New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

The hardest truth about parental accountability isn't admitting you were wrong-  it's living with the consequences when your own children can't trust you enough to let you back in. This is the podcast your toxic Mom doesn't want you to listen to.

This week, I sit down with Crystal Allon, a mother, content creator, and recovering alcoholic who is estranged from two of her adult children. Together, we explore what real accountability looks like when your kids go no contact, not the defensive "I did my best" narrative, but the raw, honest reckoning with how your own unhealed trauma created an emotionally unsafe environment for the people you love most.

Crystal shares her journey from active addiction and emotional dysregulation to recognizing the painful truth: her children felt about her the way she felt about her own toxic mother. She breaks down the "playpen analogy" that's helping other estranged parents understand boundaries, why "you can't outwit trauma, you either heal it or pass it down," and the difference between taking responsibility and playing victim.

This episode will validate adult children who are tired of being told they're "too sensitive" for protecting themselves, and challenge parents to look beyond their own pain to see the damage they've caused.

Guest

Crystal Allon, Content Creator and Recovery Advocate

Follow her on TikTok here.

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca

Book A Session with Lisa

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New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

The voice of your abuser doesn't just sound familiar—it echoes the voices that shaped you long before you ever met them.

This week, I sit down with Trauma Therapist, Logan Cooper, to explore the 7 most common childhood environments that unknowingly program us to accept abuse later in life. Together, we break down how emotionally invalidating homes, conditional love, narcissistic parenting, authoritarian control, chaotic households, family secrets, and enmeshment create the perfect storm for trauma bond vulnerability. Logan shares her expertise on how these early experiences teach us to distrust our own reality, chase unavailable love, and mistake chaos for connection. This episode will help you recognize the specific patterns from your past that may be influencing your present relationships and give you the clarity needed to finally break free from toxic cycles.

Resources Mentioned:

Emotionally Bulletproof Kids: How To Raise Strong & Confident Kids Amongst Chaos

Guest: 

Logan Cooper, Trauma Therapist (@crookedcounselorcooper) 

https://www.tiktok.com/@crookedcounselorcooper?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc 

[email protected]  

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca

Book A Session with Lisa

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Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before

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New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Male fragility isn't weakness - it's emotional inflexibility that becomes a weapon to avoid accountability. When men explode over basic feedback, it's not about your tone or timing.

This week, I'm joined by anti-misogyny educator Brent MacLerie to unpack why so many men interpret accountability as an attack. We dive into the "honesty trap" that keeps women walking on eggshells, explore how fragility becomes a control tactic, and discuss the historical roots of male entitlement in relationships. Brent shares his insights on distinguishing between genuine emotional immaturity and weaponized fragility, plus the one key indicator that shows whether a man is capable of real change.

Resources Mentioned:

Lundy Bancroft’s checklist https://lundybancroft.com/articles/checklist-for-assessing-change-in-men-who-abuse-women/ 

Connect with Brent MacLerie:

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@ex.patriarch and on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@expatriarch?lang=en 

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca

Book A Session with Lisa

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Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before

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Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here.

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

This episode is going to hit different. I'm joined by therapist and domestic violence survivor Aishia Grevenberg to destroy the most dangerous myth keeping women trapped: that your love can heal an abusive man.

What You'll Learn:

• Why high-functioning, successful women become targets for abusive men

• The childhood conditioning that teaches us to "perform" for love

• How abusers weaponize therapy and self-improvement narratives to keep you hooked

• Why individual therapy doesn't work for abusers (it's not a communication problem - it's a control problem)

• The exact moments we both realized we had to leave

Key Takeaways:

Abuse is a choice, not a reaction to your behavior

The desire to "fix" him comes from being conditioned to earn love through compliance

Self-love isn't bath bombs - it's protecting yourself and refusing to tolerate harm

No amount of love can stop someone from choosing to be abusive

This conversation gets real about the psychological traps that keep us stuck - not just the financial ones. If you've ever thought "if I just love him enough" or "once his stress goes away, he'll change," this episode will shatter those illusions and help you see the truth.

Guest:

Aishia Grevenberg - Therapist and domestic violence survivor who knows firsthand the duality of advocating against abuse publicly while enduring it privately.

Connect with Aisha  Follow her on TikTok

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca

Book A Session with Lisa

Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach
Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before

Get My Books Here

Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here.

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

This episode is going to challenge everything you've been told about abusive men and why they do what they do. We're ditching the "he's just hurt" narrative and getting real about what's actually happening here.

What You'll Learn:

• Why therapy can't fix what isn't actually broken (spoiler: it's working exactly as designed)

• The difference between trauma responses and entitlement

• How seven systems work together to normalize abuse and make you question your reality

• Why asking "why won't he change?" is the wrong question entirely

• The truth about how you were groomed to abandon yourself

Key Takeaways:

His behavior isn't about his childhood trauma - it's about a belief system that says he's entitled to your compliance. Individual and couples therapy won’t make him get better. The systems protecting him aren't broken; they're working perfectly. You weren't overreacting - you were adapting to survive in a culture designed to keep you small. Understanding this isn't about blame; it's about clarity and your freedom

This one's heavy but necessary. If you've ever wondered why he seemed so aware of his impact but kept doing it anyway, or why everyone around you kept making excuses for his behavior, this episode will give you the clarity you've been searching for.

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca

Book A Session with Lisa

Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach
Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before

Get My Books Here

Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here.

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

In this explosive episode, Lisa and Dr. Peter Salerno drop a truth bomb that will change how you see manipulation forever. They dive deep into the uncomfortable reality that abusers manipulate on purpose, exploring whether manipulators need to be "smart" or just strategic, the real reasons behind their behavior, and why being manipulated leaves you feeling so confused and traumatized. This is a must-listen episode that will validate your experiences and help you see the truth clearly.

Key Topics Covered:

• The shocking truth: Abusers manipulate intentionally, not accidentally

• Intelligence vs. strategy - what it really takes to be a manipulator

• The psychology behind why abusers choose to manipulate

• Why manipulation creates such deep confusion and trauma

• How to recognize when you're being deliberately confused

• Breaking free from the "maybe they don't know what they're doing" mindset

Resources Mentioned:

• Trauma Bond Recovery Group Coaching Program

• Unbreakable and Irreplaceable: Rebuilding After The Trauma Bond

• "The Nature and Nurture of Narcissism" by Dr. Peter Salerno

• "Traumatic Cognitive Dissonance" by Dr. Peter Salerno

About Dr. Peter Salerno:

Dr. Peter Salerno is a licensed therapist with a PsyD and MS in Clinical Psychology. He specializes in personality disorders and trauma, with extensive training in these areas. He's the author of two groundbreaking books on narcissism and trauma.

Follow him on Instagram 

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca

Book A Session with Lisa

Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach
Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before

Get My Books Here

Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here.

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

In this raw and vulnerable episode, Lisa opens up about the confusing reality of trauma bonds - why they feel so much like love when they're actually destroying us from the inside out.

What You'll Learn:

• The brain chemistry behind trauma bonds and why they're so addictive

• How trauma bonds mimic the feeling of "true love"

• Personal stories that reveal the desperation and confusion trauma bonds create

• Why your body craves what's hurting you

• The difference between genuine love and trauma bonding

Key Takeaways:

Trauma bonds hijack your brain's reward system

The push-pull dynamic creates an addiction-like response

Understanding the science helps you break free from self-blame

Your feelings are valid, but they're not telling you the truth about love

This episode gets real about the internal battle so many face: "But it feels like love, so how can it be bad for me?" If you've ever felt confused about why you can't let go of someone who hurts you, this episode is for you.

Resources Mentioned:

The Trauma Bond Recovery Course using my proven Break & Rebuild Method: https://strongerthanbefore.ca/trauma-bond-recovery/

Support the show

This is the podcast they don't want you listening to.

👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca

Book A Session with Lisa

Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach
Watch on YouTube: Stronger Than Before

Get My Books Here

Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here.

New episodes drop every Tuesday.

Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember:
You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.