Seeing Other People

It’s Ilana’s birthday weekend, the Jets are (almost) back, and somehow the Jonas Brothers might be helping us reveal our baby’s gender?! We’re talking about how our very unserious idea turned into a viral campaign that actually got Joe and Kevin Jonas’ attention, plus birthday plans, the weird guilt of posting on social media when you haven’t texted people back, and a conversation about choosing to have kids, choosing not to have kids, and whether enough people actually stop to think about what they want. We also revisit Camp Rock with some very important questions about Connect 3, debate whether Spider-Man could realistically get around NYC, and start Ilana’s very necessary Jets reeducation.

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get free

shipping on your first order.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week I'm answering seven listener questions, and somehow they all circle back to the same underlying thing: learning which feelings you can actually trust. I get into why not missing someone might mean secure instead of anxious, why every breakup doesn't mean you failed, and what it means when someone checks every box but still makes you feel unseen. I also cover the line between healthy compromise and quietly disappearing into someone else's life, why a friend's milestone can spiral into questioning your whole life, and whether becoming emotionally healthy just makes dating boring. Send in your own questions any time using the link in the show notes and my Instagram bio.

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get free

shipping on your first order.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Kelly Ehlers, award-winning founder, writer, speaker, podcast host, and author of Nice Girls Win, joins the podcast to unpack the invisible rules so many women live by — and what it looks like to choose yourself without blowing up your life. We talk about why being “nice” doesn’t have to mean being a people pleaser, how boundaries can actually make you a better nice girl, and why saying no doesn’t make you difficult, selfish, or cold.

Plus, we get into how these invisible contracts show up in dating — from saying yes to things you don't want to do to tolerating inconsistent communication — and why communicating your boundaries is better than silently letting someone treat you however they want. Kelly also shares why rejection can feel so devastating when you haven't gotten clear on what you deserve, how small daily choices can build confidence, and why she believes everything you deserve is already on its way to you.

Pre-order Nice Girls Win: Amazon pre-order

Learn more: nicegirlswin.com

Follow Kelly: @KellyEhlers

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get free

shipping on your first order.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ilana's recording sick, the Syracuse course is officially over and she's not ready to talk about how much she'll miss it, and she saw Hilary Duff sell out MSG and has a lot of feelings. Two listener questions this week: how many drinks on a first date is too many (she ordered a third before he finished his first, and he was expected to pay), and he said after one great date that he doesn't want to rush into anything long term — does that mean he's not looking for a relationship, or should she just ask?

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get free

shipping on your first order.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Amanda Katz joins the podcast to share the story of ending a long-term relationship after realizing her partner never fully grasped that she truly did not want children. We talk about the difference between "maybe someday" and knowing something about yourself since you were eleven years old, why having a child to save a relationship never actually saves it, and the quiet, undramatic weeks when she finally decided the choice was hers to make. Amanda opens up about financial independence as a form of freedom, why she educated herself early even before she had money, and how watching women stay trapped in relationships because "nothing is in their name" shaped her own priorities. Plus, we discuss the emotional toll of staying in a "gray zone" with someone you live with, why prenups are an act of love and not distrust, the lessons marathon training taught her about choosing herself under pressure, and why she considers choosing to remain childfree just as valid — and just as loaded with judgment — as choosing motherhood.

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get free

shipping on your first order.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jordanne Sculler, licensed mental health counselor and relationship therapist, joins the podcast to unpack why so many of us keep repeating the same dating patterns—even when we know they're not working. We talk about the psychology behind unhealthy relationship cycles, why your "type" may actually be keeping you stuck, and how childhood experiences and old stories shape the way you approach love. Jordanne explains why dating with rigid checklists can limit real connection, how to stop people-pleasing on dates, and why learning to tolerate discomfort is essential for building healthier relationships. We also discuss ghosting, dating "rules," healing after heartbreak, and whether you really need to be fully healed before starting a new relationship. Plus, we answer listener questions about awkward first dates, overthinking, dating anxiety, and the powerful mindset shift from chasing butterflies to seeking emotional regulation instead.

Follow Jordanne:

Website: jordannescullerlmhc.com

Instagram: @jordannesculler

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get free

shipping on your first order.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week, a 4am pregnancy craving for a discontinued pasta dish spirals into one of the wildest nights of our lives, ending in a comped multi-course meal at Moriah, NYC's #1 Italian seafood restaurant, care of the original chef himself (Chrissy Teigen even weighed in). We check back in on Christmas Party guy, and the update isn't the one we were hoping for. A listener asks how engagement ring shopping actually works, from where to start looking to how long a guy typically waits once the ring is in hand, and how to stop comparing your relationship timeline to everyone else's. And we dig into a FaceTime-only situation: three weeks of daily calls with a guy she hasn't even met in person yet, and whether that's genuine chemistry or something else entirely. Send us your questions any time, the link's in our show notes and Instagram bio, and if you love the show, share it with a friend and leave us a five-star rating and review.

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get free

shipping on your first order.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After the response to Part 1, we had to do a Part 2. In this solo episode, I'm diving into even more questions that can help you make better dating decisions before you turn to your group chat. I talk about breaking unhealthy patterns, separating your worth from rejection, the difference between closure and wanting a different ending, knowing whether your standards are actually standards or just preferences, building a life you love while you're single, recognizing when a relationship gives you energy versus drains it, and asking whether your needs are actually unreasonable, or simply unmet. My hope is that these questions help you trust yourself a little more and remind you that the best dating advice often starts by asking yourself the right question.

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

If your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order

The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get free

shipping on your first order.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Courtney Kocak joins the podcast to share the unbelievable story behind her memoir Girl Gone Wild and the many rock bottoms that ultimately changed her life. We talk about surviving toxic relationships, chasing impossible dreams in Hollywood, the lessons she learned from heartbreak, why she kept repeating the same dating patterns, and the unexpected traffic ticket that completely changed her love life. Plus, we discuss letting go after breakups, finding confidence outside of relationships, healing your self-worth, and why the healthiest love often feels the easiest. ig & website

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

If your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order

The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get free

shipping on your first order.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Are we pregnant or am I pregnant? Jake says we. Ilana says she's the one with a baby in her belly. We also have to tell you about the TikTok that went viral, because Ilana posted a green screen video about her biggest pregnancy craving, a shrimp scampi from a restaurant that closed years ago, and the original chef DMed her and invited us to his Michelin star restaurant to make it off menu. Three listener questions this week: how to handle a boyfriend whose friend group uses drugs at every hangout, how to get closer to your guy friends' girlfriends without coming across as flirting, and how to support a close friend going through a breakup in her mid-30s when she really wanted this relationship to work.

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

Head to LolaBlankets.com and use code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE to get 40% OFF your order. 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

If your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order

The best deals go fast on Whatnot, so don’t wait. Download Whatnot today and get free

shipping on your first order.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.