Seeing Other People

Happy Monday! We're recording from Jake's childhood bedroom fresh off a wedding the night before. We talk about why we're obsessed with vows and speeches, what it's like to hear other couples' love stories and reflect on your own relationship, and the text a maid of honor read aloud that had us wanting to dig through our own phones. Then we get into our main segment: a fun game of red flags and deal breakers — but with a twist. For each scenario, we share what single us would have thought versus what married, more seasoned us thinks now. From slow texters to exes on Instagram, financial baggage to crying on the first date, it's equal parts honest, funny, and surprisingly nuanced.

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

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Get 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This solo episode is all about hindsight, growth, and the dating choices I understand differently now. I’m reacting to listener-submitted scenarios through two lenses: what past me probably would’ve done, and what I’d do now. We’re talking about emotionally unavailable people, confusing anxiety for chemistry, trying to be chosen instead of evaluating compatibility, and the difference between knowing better versus actually being ready to do better.

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople 

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

Get 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lauren Makler joins the podcast for a conversation about fertility anxiety, egg freezing, dating pressure, and the emotional weight so many women carry around timelines. From AMH testing and IVF to secondary infertility, miscarriages, and dating in your 30s, we talk about the difference between making empowered decisions versus fear-based ones. Lauren also opens up about her own rare disease diagnosis, the experience that led her to start Cofertility, and why she believes knowledge is power when it comes to fertility and relationships.

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople 

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

Get 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

 Happy anniversary to us — we're recording this one from Miami in the hotel where we took our first trip together five years ago. Jake planned the whole thing, and we almost missed the flight (not our fault!). We get into the debate that started at the airport: are you still on your parents' phone plan in your 30s? Four listener questions this week: the guy who followed you on Instagram two years after you told him you weren't a match, being 25 and single while all your friends pair off, comparing your engagement timeline to an acquaintance who just got engaged after three months, and the guy who says money is tight and all your dates are at his house — hookup or just broke?

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople 

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

Get 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Allison Lane joins the podcast for a conversation about dating in your 30s, meeting people in real life, and the pressure women feel to have everything figured out by a certain age. From run clubs and dating apps to confidence, friendships, and navigating New York City single, we talk about what it actually looks like to put yourself out there without romanticizing every interaction. Allison also opens up about being an only child and feeling the pressure around marriage and kids, how running changed her life after a difficult period, and her experience losing weight naturally in the middle of the GLP-1 era.

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople 

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

Get 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dr. Joy Burkheimer joins the podcast for a conversation about second chances, relationship “redemption arcs,” and whether people can actually change after hurting someone they love. From attachment styles and cheating to avoidant behavior, breakups, and the psychology behind going back to an ex, we talk about the difference between genuine growth and simply saying the right things. Dr. Joy also opens up about how her own divorce led her to become a therapist, why relationships naturally evolve every few years, and what it really means to choose your partner over and over again. We also get into dating anxiety, rebuilding trust, listener questions about reconnecting with exes, and why protecting your peace doesn’t always mean walking away.

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople 

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

Get 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We're both sick, we slept until noon, and we have a mystery anniversary trip in two days — Jake planned the whole thing and Ilana has no idea where they're going. We talk froyo orders (gummy bears are a crime), the great do-guys-actually-give-each-other-style-feedback debate, and tease next week's recording from wherever they end up. Two listener questions this week: one from someone whose relationship has been conflict-free for a year and is spiraling because the internet says that's a red flag (spoiler: it's not), and one from someone who knows her ex wasn't right for her but still can't stop hurting seeing him move on.

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople 

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

Get 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

For so much of my life, I thought certain milestones would fundamentally change me. The relationship, the career growth, the apartment, the race finish line, the goals I spent years chasing. I thought I’d feel more confident, more secure, more fulfilled once I finally got there. But lately, I’ve been realizing how no achievement permanently changes your internal world the way we expect it to. In this solo episode, I’m talking about achievement comedowns, moving goalposts, self-improvement exhaustion, and the pressure to constantly chase the next version of yourself instead of learning how to actually live inside the life you already built.

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople 

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

Get 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Chloe Hechter joins the podcast for a conversation about everything your twenties are actually filled with: changing career paths, feeling behind, navigating dating in New York City, and learning how to stop centering relationships as the main goal. From growing up as a New York theater kid to switching majors in college, going viral online, and finding confidence after years of feeling “too much,” Chloe opens up about reinventing yourself in your twenties and realizing that nobody really has it figured out. We also talk about long distance relationships, Jewish identity and dating, influencer culture, internet hate, and why the best relationships happen when you stop making finding one your entire personality.

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople 

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

Get 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ilana's recording this one from her deathbed after missing the Brooklyn Half and sleeping the weekend away while Jake walked 25,000 steps to get a burger. Two listener questions this week: a woman who met a guy in Ireland, and booked another trip at his request, and he canceled two weeks out saying he doesn't want long distance — and a woman who got ghosted before a second date, redownloaded the app, and somehow has a new date with the same guy who might not even remember her. Plus Ilana's viral video on why you should just text to confirm the date already.

ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)

Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod 

Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople 

Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE

Get 15% off OneSkin, the science-backed skincare brand, with code seeingotherpeople at oneskin.co/seeingotherpeople.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.