Self-Helpless

By Cloud10Science Alternative Health Health & Fitness

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Typical duration
59 min
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Self-Helpless episodes

October 20, 2025How Quickly Does Their Problem Become Yours? Ditch Auto-Accommodating and Stay in Your Lane with Terri Cole
Delanie Fischer chats with licensed psychotherapist Terri Cole about high-functioning codependency (HFC) and how to set healthy boundaries to prevent burn out, resentment, and feeling underappreciated. They explore signs like auto advice-giving, auto-accommodating, and keeping the peace at all costs, and uncover why many try to control others unknowingly. Terri shares actionable tools for shifting these over-functioning behaviors to let go of what’s not your responsibility—freeing up your time and energy while empowering those around you.

Discussed in this episode:
Busting The Biggest Codependency Myth

Hyper-Independence and Anticipatory Planning

Auto Advice-Giving and The Auto-Yes

Taking Your Resentment Inventory

Let Them Be The Hero of Their Story

Escaping the Cult of Nice

5 Scripts for Setting New Boundaries

How To Identify a Transference

Primary vs. Secondary Gain

8 Questions to Ask Before You Fix or Rescue
---
If Self-Helpless has supported you, a quick 5-star rating or review (if you haven’t already) means so much! ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-helpless/id1251196416⁠
Free goodies including The Quote Buffet and The Watch & Read List: ⁠https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/⁠
Ad-free episodes now available on ⁠Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless⁠
Your Host, Delanie Fischer:⁠ https://www.delaniefischer.com⁠
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Episodes related to this topic:
What If You Did The Opposite Action Today? with Dr. Luana Marquez: ⁠https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/273fa5be/self-helpless-snack-what-if-you-did-the-opposite-action-today-with-dr-luana-marquez⁠
7 Shocking Truths About Codependency And Addiction with Heidi Rain: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/24c74079/7-shocking-truths-about-codependency-and-addiction-with-heidi-rain
The Real Reason Women Don't Trust Themselves With Money (And How They Actually Spend It): ⁠https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/20bc245f/self-helpless-snack-the-real-reason-women-dont-trust-themselves-with-money-and-how-they-actually-spend-it⁠
Exposing False Choices, Narratives, and Pulling Wisdom From Wounds with Dr. Thema Bryant: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/26cdb69d/exposing-false-choices-narratives-and-pulling-wisdom-from-wounds-with-dr-thema-bryant

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46 min
October 17, 2025Stop Asking Yourself the Wrong Questions: How to Unlock Deeper Fulfillment with Elliott Connie
Delanie Fischer chats with Elliott Connie, Psychotherapist and renowned leader in the field of Solution Focused Brief Therapy, about shifting the questions we ask ourselves in order to transform our lives. They discuss the difference between comfort and happiness, how to go deeper in times of indecision and struggle, and simple practices and rituals that create lasting change.
Discussed in this episode:
SFBT and The Diamond Approach

Rejecting Perfect Timing Syndrome

Has What You Want Changed? And Can You Trust It?

The Worst Question We Ask Ourselves

Comfort vs. Happiness (and Why Comfort Can Kill Us)

Will Therapy As We Know It Become Obsolete?

Can't Do It In The Ideal Way? Do It A Little Bit.

What's Your Version of Sunday Pizza Night?

Capitalism, Social Media & Pursuing What Matters

The Toughest Life Lesson Elliott's Learned
----
If Self-Helpless has supported you in some way, a quick 5-star rating or review (if you haven’t already) means so much! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-helpless/id1251196416
Free goodies including The Quote Buffet and The Watch & Read List: https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/
Ad-free episodes now available on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless
Your Host, Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.com
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Episodes related to this topic:
Release Your Perfectionism Handbrake: Power Planning, Clean Rest, and Demystifying Procrastination with Sam Laura Brown: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/22e1c287/release-your-perfectionism-handbrake-power-planning-clean-rest-and-demystifying-procrastination-with-sam-laura-brown
Cracking The Code To Behavior Change: Troubleshooting Tiny Barriers That Destroy Big Goals with Molly Maxwell: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/24e651e8/cracking-the-code-to-behavior-change-troubleshooting-tiny-barriers-that-destroy-big-goals-with-molly-maxwell
10 Fascinating Tricks For More Wins And Improved Well-Being with Janice Kaplan: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/23c60009/10-fascinating-tricks-for-more-wins-and-improved-well-being-with-janice-kaplan
Need a Strong Dose of Optimism? 5 Tips for an Instant Perspective Shift with Bill Burke: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/255fd6bc/need-a-strong-dose-of-optimism-5-tips-for-an-instant-perspective-shift-with-bill-burke

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49 min
October 15, 2025How Confidence, Culture & Self-Worth Shape Success with Big Asian Energy’s John Wang
Delanie Fischer chats with John Wang, author of Big Asian Energy, about confidence, culture, and the power of conversation. They unpack how cultural conditioning, fear, and the desire to be "good enough” shape identity and self-worth. John shares the lessons he learned from his year-long experiment in radical honesty—during which he came clean to friends and family about past lies and committed to always speaking his mind in every interaction—and reflects on how this experience led to deeper connections and a new way of being.

Discussed in this episode:
What Is Charisma, Gravitas, and Executive Presence?

Biases, Stereotypes, Discrimination, and Coded Language

Asian American Culture and the Workplace

Fear of Conflict, Confrontation, and Avoidance

The 1 Year of Radical Honesty Experiment

7 Adaptive Patterns: Achiever, Fixer, Chameleon, Charmer, Commander, Rebel, Invisible One

The Belief Behind Your Behavior and The Fear (and Illusion) of Death

Rejection as Redirection to Alignment + Finding Community and Belonging

The Achievement Monster & How To Get off the Treadmill

Internal vs. External Validation & When Affirmations Don’t Work (Try This)

Self-Worth and Creating Your Own Metric for Success

High-Context vs. Low-Context Conversation

Self-Diminishment vs. Respecting Cultural Norms

The 6 Levels of Mitigating Language (Great for Baby Steps!)

Saying No, Giving Direct Feedback & Becoming More Assertive
----
If Self-Helpless has supported you in some way, a quick 5-star rating or review (if you haven't already) means so much! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-helpless/id1251196416
Free goodies including The Quote Buffet and The Watch & Read List: https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/
Ad-free episodes now available on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless
Your Host, Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.com
----
Episodes related to this topic:
“You’re So Sensitive”: Understanding Everyday Microaggressions, Implicit Bias, and Best Practices with Billie Lee & Dr. Gina Torino: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/2396d366/youre-so-sensitive-understanding-everyday-microaggressions-implicit-bias-and-best-practices-with-billie-lee-and-dr-gina-torino
How A Sexist Society Gets In Your Head (And How To Get It Out) with Kara Loewentheil: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/23318969/how-a-sexist-society-gets-in-your-head-and-how-to-get-it-out-with-kara-loewentheil
Why You Became A People-Pleaser: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/27c52c66/why-you-became-a-people-pleaser
Mortality Awareness: Meaning, Motivation, and Your To-Die-For Life with Karen Salmansohn: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/2367345e/mortality-awareness-meaning-motivation-and-your-to-die-for-life-with-karen-salmansohn

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55 min
October 13, 2025 Breakup Recovery, Toxic Behavior, and Relationship Lessons with Em Schulz & Delanie Fischer
Delanie Fischer chats with Em Schulz, co-host of And That’s Why We Drink and one of Delanie’s best buds, to discuss past heartbreak, healing from breakups, and what they wish they would’ve known - like how to avoid tolerating, and dishing out, toxic behavior. Having been with their current partners for nearly a decade, they share their perspective on what’s led to the most relationship growth.
Plus:
+ 8 Things To Try During A Breakup (Weird Stuff Works)
+ The Worst Things They’ve Done In Relationships
+ Healthy Partnership, Marriage, and Personal Growth

Self-Helpless on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless
Your Host, Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.com

EPISODES RELATED TO THIS TOPIC:
Your Burning Relationship Questions Answered with Rachel DeAlto:
https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/3f1ddb9c/your-burning-relationship-questions-answered-with-rachel-dealto
The Psychology of Infidelity: Why People Cheat, Non-Monogamy vs. Monogamy, and Sexual Mindfulness with Dr. Tara: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/24240595/the-psychology-of-infidelity-why-people-cheat-non-monogamy-vs-monogamy-and-sexual-mindfulness-with-dr-tara
Craving A Healthy Relationship? Understand Your Attachment Style with Thais Gibson: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/228cc412/craving-a-healthy-relationship-understand-your-attachment-style-with-thais-gibson
When My Husband Came Out: Sexuality, Betrayal, and Healing with Jessica Frew: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/229e6642/when-my-husband-came-out-sexuality-betrayal-and-healing-with-jessica-frew

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1 hr 34 min
October 10, 2025 Chika Uwazie on Timeline Grief, Reinvention, and The Soft Life Movement
Delanie Fischer chats with Chika Uwazie, writer, cultural commentator, and someone instrumental in amplifying the soft life movement, to discuss life transitions, normalizing pivots, and prioritizing presence, rest, and joy along the way. They discuss timeline grief (when life doesn't go as planned), rebuilding and reinventing yourself as needed, and embracing who you truly are vs. who you've been told to be.
Plus:
+ Lessons: The 20s and 30s (and Hopes for the 40s)
+ 2 Questions To Ask Yourself When You're Stuck
+ Your Phone Doesn't Have To Be Your Morning Routine
Self-Helpless on Patreon: ⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless⁠⁠
Your Host, Delanie Fischer: ⁠⁠https://www.delaniefischer.com⁠⁠
EPISODES RELATED TO THIS TOPIC:
How To Crush The Job Search (Even If You Feel Like Crap) with HR Expert Shelby McGuire Canlas: ⁠⁠https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/21ce2f57/how-to-crush-the-job-search-even-if-you-feel-like-sht-with-hr-expert-shelby-mcguire-canlas⁠⁠
It's Not Too Late To Start with Jared Champion: ⁠⁠https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/23f7190f/its-not-too-late-to-start-with-jared-champion⁠⁠
How To Let Your Ideal Lifestyle Inspire Your Next Step with Olivia Mulford: ⁠⁠https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/24291d42/self-helpless-snack-how-to-let-your-ideal-lifestyle-inspire-your-next-step-with-olivia-mulford⁠⁠
Hurry Sickness And The Busy Brain Cure with Dr. Romie Mushtaq: ⁠⁠https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/243d15fa/hurry-sickness-and-the-busy-brain-cure-with-dr-romie-mushtaq

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1 hr 12 min
October 08, 2025 The Future of Mental Health and Medicine: Psychedelic Therapy, Technology, and Ancient Healing with Dr. Dave Rabin
Delanie Fischer chats with Dr. Dave Rabin, board-certified psychiatrist, translational neuroscientist, and inventor, to discuss the future of mental health and medicine. They discuss the efficacy of psychedelic-assisted therapy, technological therapeutics, ancient modalities, and ground-breaking discoveries about consciousness.
* This episode is not a substitute for medical advice. Please consult your doctor to determine which therapeutic practices are appropriate for you.

Plus:
+ The Root of Mental Illness, Epigenetics, Trauma, and Consciousness
+ Psychedelics & Medications: Psilocybin, Ketamine, MDMA, and SSRIs
+ Near-Death Experiences, Synchronicities, and Extrasensory Ability

Self-Helpless on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless
Your Host, Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.com

EPISODES RELATED TO THIS TOPIC:
Depression and Serotonin Syndrome with Dr. Tracey Marks: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/36a8f408/depression-and-serotonin-syndrome-with-dr-tracey-marks
Rethinking Intuition, Belief, and The Nature of Reality with Vincent Genna: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/23db0212/rethinking-intuition-belief-and-the-nature-of-reality-with-vincent-genna
7 Reasons Why You May Have Insomnia (And How To Treat It) with Dr. Brian F. Licuanan: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/215f937b/7-reasons-why-you-may-have-insomnia-and-how-to-treat-it-with-dr-brian-f-licuanan
20+ Years Thriving with Stage IV Cancer with Kris Carr: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/22f2b084/20-years-thriving-with-stage-iv-cancer-with-kris-carr

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
1 hr 5 min
October 06, 2025 Healing After My Husband’s Porn Addiction with Brittany Moore
Delanie Fischer chats with Brittany Moore, who shares her experience being married to Steve Moore, a past guest on Self-Helpless and someone who has struggled with porn addiction (and now helps others overcome it). She describes how she found out, the impact it’s had on her, and where her and Steve are now after 20 years of marriage.
Plus:
+ The Unexpected Way Brittany Found Out
+ The Signs She Noticed But Didn’t Understand
+ Potential Isn’t Enough, You Need This Too

Self-Helpless on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless
Your Host, Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.com

EPISODES RELATED TO THIS TOPIC:
Is It Porn Addiction? Inside the Impact, Neuroscience, and Recovery with Steve Moore and Mark Kastleman: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/2230ec70/is-it-porn-addiction-inside-the-impact-neuroscience-and-recovery-with-steve-moore-and-mark-kastleman

7 Shocking Truths About Codependency And Addiction with Heidi Rain: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/24c74079/7-shocking-truths-about-codependency-and-addiction-with-heidi-rain

Sex and Love Addiction with Sex Addiction Therapist, Alex Katehakis: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/316e9795/sex-and-love-addiction-with-sex-addiction-therapist-alex-katehakis

When You're A High Functioning Addict (And Modernizing The 12 Steps) with Dr. Samantha Harte: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/233469a8/when-youre-a-high-functioning-addict-and-modernizing-the-12-steps-with-dr-samantha-harte

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
1 hr 1 min
October 01, 2025 Attention-Seeking Behaviors: Understanding Sympathy-Seeking, Root Causes, and Empathy-Based Approaches with Dr. Judy Ho
Delanie Fischer chats with Dr. Judy Ho, licensed clinical and forensic neuropsychologist, tenured professor at Pepperdine University, and TV host, about attention-seeking behavior. They take a deep dive into one common type, sympathy-seeking, to explore its root causes, distinguish between healthy and unhealthy attention-seeking, and share practical tips for approaching conversations with empathy.
Plus:
+ Breakdown of 6 Common Attention-Seeking Behaviors
+ The Biggest Myth About Neuroplasticity—Busted
+ 15 Tips: Self-Auditing, Parenting, and Tough Conversations

Self-Helpless on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless
Your Host, Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.com

EPISODES RELATED TO THIS TOPIC:
Understand Your Attachment Style with Thais Gibson: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/228cc412/craving-a-healthy-relationship-understand-your-attachment-style-with-thais-gibson
What If You Did The Opposite Action Today? with Dr. Luana Marquez:
https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/273fa5be/self-helpless-snack-what-if-you-did-the-opposite-action-today-with-dr-luana-marquez
15 Signs of Emotional Abuse with Dr. Stephanie Sarkis: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/246a6f64/self-helpless-snack-15-signs-of-emotional-abuse-with-dr-stephanie-sarkis

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
59 min
September 29, 2025 Filmmaker Kit Williamson on the Highs and Lows of a Creative Career: Dead Projects, Taking Control & an Unconventional Path
Delanie Fischer chats with actor and filmmaker Kit Williamson, best known for Mad Men, Eastsiders, and Unconventional , about the ebbs and flows of a long-term creative career. They dive into the resilience and recommitment required for longevity, navigating big breaks and dead projects, exercising creative agency, and behind-the-scenes insights into filmmaking.
Plus:
+ The Process of Selling a Project vs. Creating a World
+ Avoiding Perfection Paralysis and Releasing Shame
+ Repurposing, Financing, and Getting Resourceful

Unconventional: https://www.revry.tv/originals/unconventional?srsltid=AfmBOoqpHDsMf__K9un9PxTtwQO4rU5U2HGBxcf4lpN7JgG1bcpS429h
Self-Helpless on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless
Your Host, Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.com

EPISODES RELATED TO THIS TOPIC:
We Need Your Art! For Health, Community, and More with Amie McNee: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/25b6ee3e/we-need-your-fcking-art-for-health-community-and-more-with-amie-mcnee
It's Not Too Late To Start with Jared Champion: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/23f7190f/its-not-too-late-to-start-with-jared-champion
Q&A: Publishing, Podcasting, and Creative Entrepreneurship with Literary Agent Lindsey Smith and Podcaster Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/23bfb9d7/qanda-publishing-podcasting-and-creative-entrepreneurship-with-literary-agent-lindsey-smith-and-podcaster-delanie-fischer
Making Less And Living More with Creator of Lore and Lust Karla Nikole: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/24656068/making-less-and-living-more-with-creator-of-lore-and-lust-karla-nikole

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
1 hr 7 min
September 22, 2025 AI, Robotics, and The Future of Work and Life with Dr. Catie Cuan
Delanie Fischer chats with engineer and choreo-roboticist Dr. Catie Cuan about the future of AI, robotics, and the art of human-robot interaction. They explore potential pitfalls, promising upsides, and everything in between—impacting creativity, health, the environment, and human connection.
Plus:
+ Rethinking Machines in Hospitals and Beyond
+ The Evolution of Jobs and Emerging Careers
+ "Uhm...What if a Robot Becomes Conscious"

Self-Helpless on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless
Your Host, Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.com

EPISODES RELATED TO THIS TOPIC:
We Need Your Art! For Health, Community, and More with Amie McNee: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/25b6ee3e/we-need-your-fcking-art-for-health-community-and-more-with-amie-mcnee
Self-Helpless Snack: "What's Your Favorite Documentary?" (20 Documentaries To Watch This Year): https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/2542cab6/self-helpless-snack-whats-your-favorite-documentary-20-documentaries-to-watch-this-year
Need a Strong Dose of Optimism? 5 Tips for an Instant Perspective Shift with Bill Burke: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/255fd6bc/need-a-strong-dose-of-optimism-5-tips-for-an-instant-perspective-shift-with-bill-burke
10 Powerful Journal Prompts with Kelsey Cook and Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/f034e4d1/10-powerful-journal-prompts-with-delanie-fischer-and-kelsey-cook

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
1 hr 4 min

About Self-Helpless

From the publisher's feed

Welcome to self-care with a conscience—where science, spirituality, and sustainability are brunch buddies. Self-Helpless explores all things on the cutting edge of personal and collective growth with leading specialists who share paradigm-shifting insights every week. Hosted by Delanie Fischer, known for her casual but fluff-free approach, Self-Helpless garners millions of downloads and aims to close the gap between one-dimensional self-help and everyday activism. Themes include conscious consumption, integrative health, cognitive neuroscience, reality studies, social conditioning, creativity, belief, and purpose (but, ya know, fun).