Have you ever felt like you just can’t win? If you’re too nice, people don’t take you seriously. If you’re too direct, suddenly you’re “too much.” For so many women, this double bind — rooted in gender double standards — is exhausting.

My guest, Dr. Kate Mason, calls this out for what it is: a trap. We’ve been sold the lie that you can either be likable or powerful, but not both. And we’re here to burn that old playbook and create something better.

Kate shows us how likeability isn’t weakness at all — it’s actually a form of power. But when it tips into people-pleasing and what she calls “imposing syndrome,” we start shrinking ourselves, downplaying our ideas, and apologizing for existing. On the flip side, many women hold back for fear of being labeled aggressive, bossy, or difficult. So how do you walk that tightrope without losing yourself?

That’s what we’re unpacking in this conversation. You’ll learn how to recognize the subtle ways you undermine your own authority, how to communicate with both warmth and strength, and how to create a personal style of relating that feels authentic to you. Because the truth is, you don’t have to choose between being liked and being respected.

As you listen, I’d love for you to reflect:

🌱 When do you catch yourself softening your words so you won’t “impose”?

🌱 Where are you still carrying old stories about what power “should” look like?

🌱 And what might change if you gave yourself permission to claim both likability and authority on your own terms?

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 The Likability Trap and Gender Double Standards

01:54 Kate Mason’s Story and the Myth of Two Options

05:01 Likability as Power vs. People-Pleasing

06:05 Imposing Syndrome and How We Minimize Ourselves

13:05 Practical Tools: Personal Audits and Self-Awareness

20:00 Breaking the Binary: Authentic Relating Beyond Gender Roles

34:01 Case Study: Transforming Voice, Posture, and Confidence

43:05 How to Develop Likable Power in Everyday Life

If you’d like more support beyond this episode, you’re welcome to book a free consultation with me or a member of my team. We’ll connect you with the right expert for your goals and send you a personalized set of free resources to help you move forward in your career, relationships, or personal growth.

You can also stay connected with me between episodes on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube, where I share new tips and encouragement every week. And I’d love to hear from you — your questions, feedback, and ideas for future episodes always help shape these conversations. Let’s talk!

And if you’d like to connect with Dr. Kate Mason, you can find her on Instagram and LinkedIn. Be sure to check out her new book, Powerfully Likeable, coming September 9th — you can pre-order your copy now to dive even deeper into the ideas we explored today.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

This episode originally aired on April 3, 2023 (Episode 343), and we’re bringing it back because it resonated with so many of you. Whether you’re reflecting on a past relationship, navigating one right now, or supporting clients through these dynamics, the lessons are worth revisiting.

Why are people with anxious attachment styles and avoidant attachment styles drawn to each other? Can anxious-avoidant relationships work, and most importantly, can they be healthy and satisfying?

Yes, they can. But the key is through your understanding of yourself, and of your partner. When you develop true understanding and empathy for your differences, you can create profound connection, and a genuinely secure and healing relationship for both of you.

This episode is going to show you how. If you’re in an anxious-avoidant relationship, or have been in one before, I hope it helps you understand these dynamics from a new perspective, and empowers you to move toward greater connection and security.

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Why Attachment Styles Matter  

02:42 Core Conflict: Desire for Closeness vs. Space  

07:04 The Push-Pull Dynamic of Anxious and Avoidant Partners  

11:08 Can Anxious-Avoidant Relationships Be Healthy?  

16:09 Finding Compatible Partners & Building Security  

17:02 Strategies for Anxious Attachment  

18:06 Strategies for Avoidant Attachment  

33:04 Why Anxious and Avoidant Partners Are Drawn Together  

42:05 Avoidant Discomfort with Closeness & Anxious Pursuing Behaviors  

45:06 Doing the Work: Self-Awareness and Self-Management  

49:04 Practical Tools for Avoidant Partners  

55:00 True Love as a Conscious Choice  

Want to know where your relationship stands today? Try my free How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz. It gives you quick insights into what’s working well and where you might want to focus your growth together.

If this resonated with you, let’s keep it going. I share more relationship advice and tools on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube, and I’d love to hear your thoughts too, whether it’s feedback on the show, questions about past episodes, or ideas for what you’d like me to cover next. Let’s talk!

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

“Am I falling behind in life?” If you’ve ever looked around and thought everyone else is getting married, buying houses, and having babies while you’re still figuring things out, you’re not alone.

In this episode, we’re getting real about that sinking, lonely feeling that comes when your life stage doesn’t match your friends’. We’ll talk about why there’s no one “right” timeline, how to get out of the comparison trap, and ways to reconnect with your sense of self-worth no matter where you are right now. I’ll share five steps to help you make peace with your path, let go of judgment (yours and theirs), and create the kind of connections that actually feel good.

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Why You Might Feel Behind in Life

03:36 Feeling Out of Sync With Life Stages

05:00 Escaping the Comparison Trap

10:00 How Values and Circumstances Shape Life Timelines

18:00 Grieving Changes in Friendships

26:00 Overcoming Self and External Judgment

41:00 How to Cultivate New Relationships as an Adult

49:00 Keeping Old Friends Without Losing Yourself

What would change if you stopped measuring your life against someone else’s milestones? How might it feel to find friends who truly get you in this season? And what old connections might be worth keeping in a different way?

If you’re ready for more support beyond this episode, you can book a free consultation with me or a member of my team. We’ll match you with the right expert for your goals and send you a tailored set of free resources to help you start creating the changes you want in your relationships, your career, or your personal growth.

I’m also sharing new tips, insights, and encouragement every week on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube to help you feel confident in your path and connected in your relationships. And I’d love to hear from you. Your feedback, your questions about past episodes, and the topics you’d like me to cover next are always welcome. Let’s talk!

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self 🌱

Have you ever looked at your partner and thought, “I love you… but right now, I really don’t like you”? It doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. It simply means you’re human.

In this episode, we’re getting real about what happens when the warm fuzzies fade and the little things like how they breathe, chew, or leave their glass next to the sink suddenly feel huge. Can you love someone and not like them? Absolutely. But how you handle those moments will decide whether they pull you apart or bring you closer.

I’ll walk you through how to tell the difference between harmless quirks, patterns that need attention, and true deal breakers. You’ll learn why 70% of relationship conflicts are about unchangeable differences, how emotional disconnection can make every annoyance feel bigger, and what it actually takes to shift from criticism to curiosity. We’ll talk about building the emotional intelligence skills that help you stay grounded, see each other’s perspective, and communicate in a way that leads to connection instead of a fight.

Episode Breakdown

00:00 The Myth of Effortless Relationships

03:07 Dr. John Gottman’s Research on Conflict & Compatibility

05:47 Turning Friction Points Into Opportunities for Relationship Growth

07:10 Daily Annoyances vs. Deal Breakers: A Clarity Exercise

10:35 How Positive Connection Reduces Relationship Frustration

14:22 The Emotional Intelligence Skills That Lead To Better Relationships

22:03 Understanding Your Partner’s Perspective with Empathy

24:45 Effective Communication Strategies That Actually Work

31:00 Discernment Counseling: Is This Relationship Fixable?

You can have a great relationship with someone who occasionally drives you up the wall, and this episode shows you how.

If you’re ready to stop spinning in communication loops and finally feel heard without starting a fight, check out my free Communication that Connects 2-Part Training. It gives you the exact skills and tools to handle these moments differently, plus a workbook to help you put them into practice. You can also take my free How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz for a clear snapshot of what’s working, what’s not, and where you can start building a more connected partnership today.

And if this episode struck a chord, let’s stay in touch. I’m always sharing more tips and resources on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube to help you turn those little friction points into deeper connection. I also want to hear from you. Your feedback, your questions about past episodes, and the topics you’d love me to cover next are always welcome. Let's talk!

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Have you ever stared at your phone, rereading a text that ended with a period and spiraled into, “Oh no… are they mad at me?” Or maybe someone didn’t heart your Instagram story, and suddenly your nervous system is in full red alert mode. If so, you’re not alone. And you’re definitely not broken.

I’m joined by psychotherapist and author Meg Josephson to talk about the fawn response, a lesser-known trauma response that shows up as people-pleasing, overthinking, and needing to manage how others feel about you. We’re digging into where this comes from, why it’s so common (especially if you grew up walking on eggshells), and how to start untangling yourself from it.

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 What Is Relational Hypervigilance?

02:22 Meg Josephson’s Journey With People-Pleasing

10:37 Understanding Complex Trauma and Emotional Safety

17:05 What Is the Fawn Response?

23:23 How Hypervigilance Disconnects You From Yourself

31:15 How People-Pleasing Impacts Boundaries

36:27 Why “Negative” Emotions Like Resentment Matter

41:11 Reassurance vs. Emotional Validation

46:07 Letting Go of Control and Reclaiming Your Energy

49:37 Healing Through Self-Awareness and Discomfort

51:13 Where to Find Meg Josephson’s Work

If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I always feel like I’m in trouble?” or “Why is it so hard to set boundaries without guilt?” – this episode will help you understand what’s really going on beneath those feelings and what healing can actually look like.

Ready to stop twisting yourself into knots trying to keep everyone else happy? My Clarity & Confidence Coaching Program can help you reconnect with you – your voice, your boundaries, your sense of calm. If you’re done second-guessing and ready to start showing up authentically, this is your next step. 🌱 

Let’s stay connected! Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for free resources and updates on new episodes of Love, Happiness & Success. Together, we’re building healthier, happier relationships – one conversation at a time.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

P.S. Meg’s book “Are You Mad at Me?” comes out August 5th – and it is SO GOOD! You can also follow her on Instagram and TikTok. Check out her Substack, Peace of Mind. Highly recommend. 

Trust: It's the glue of secure attachment that holds a relationship together. If it's broken, everything changes. How do you repair trust once it's been damaged?

The fantasy is that we can say "sorry" and the trust switch will flip back on... But it's not that easy. In fact, for trust to be restored, it requires a very specific process that both partners need to engage in.

This is such a common and important part of the work for many couples seeking to repair their bond, so I'm putting this re-issued episode back in front of you.

You'll learn why "Sorry" isn't good enough, and you'll also learn the worst mistake you can make if you're trying to repair the trust in your marriage.

I'll also teach you the five action-steps you must take to mend trust for real, and how to use them to restore the security to your marriage.

I sincerely hope these ideas help you heal the trust in your relationship. 

xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

PS: Changes are on the way here at Love, Happiness, and Success. For starters, you'll get more episodes... but you'll also start hearing promos on the show from time to time. Let's stay connected through this transition. Compliments? Complaints? Questions? Let's Talk.

“Why doesn’t my partner want me?” — If that question has ever kept you up at night, this one’s for you. 

Lately, I’ve been hearing from so many of you that this topic — what to do when your partner rejects you sexually — is really on your hearts and minds. And I get it. It’s such a vulnerable, tender pain point that touches on self-worth, connection, and love. 

Whether it’s happened once or it’s become a painful pattern, feeling sexually rejected can stir up everything from shame and anxiety to resentment and loneliness. That’s why I wanted to bring back this powerful episode — because the guidance here is so helpful, and it’s something I want you to have access to when you need it most. 

In this episode of the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast, I’m joined by my brilliant colleague and sex therapist Dori to talk openly (and compassionately!) about what’s really going on behind those “not tonight” moments — and what you can do to heal the hurt, reconnect with your partner, and bring intimacy back into your relationship in a way that feels good for both of you.

We’ll walk you through the emotional impact of rejection, common myths about sex and desire, how to communicate with love and honesty, and actionable strategies to reconnect both emotionally and physically. You’ll leave this episode with insight and tools  to navigate sexual rejection with grace, strength, and clarity.

Timestamps: 01:13 – Why Rejection Feels So Personal 02:29 – Understanding the Emotional Fallout 05:57 – Gender, Expectations, and Sexual Scripts 13:16 – The Body Image Trap 18:09 – When It’s Not Really Rejection 21:33 – Why Planning for Intimacy Matters 24:21 – Nonsexual Touch: A Game-Changer 24:53 – Talking About Sex Without Shame 25:18 – What “Responsive Desire” Means 25:45 – Designing a Sex-Positive Life Together 30:12 – Hug Me, Don’t Just Want Me 32:24 – Loving Boundaries & Body Autonomy 35:40 – The Avoidance Spiral 38:25 – Intimacy Beyond Intercourse 44:54 – When It’s Time to Get Help

If you're feeling disconnected, uncertain, or hurt in your relationship — especially around intimacy, I totally get it. It’s hard to talk about these things, and even harder to know what’s really going on beneath the surface. 

I created a free research-backed tool to help you get some clarity: How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz. It’s a thoughtful, science-backed assessment designed to give you clarity on your strengths, your growth areas, and what to focus on for a more connected, satisfying partnership. I hope you check it out!

Let’s stay connected! You can find me here on Instagram and YouTube for more free resources and updates on new episodes of Love, Happiness & Success. Together, we’re creating healthier, happier relationships — one conversation at a time.

Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

I have something personal to share.

This podcast — this weekly connection with you — is one of my favorite parts of my work. It's not even fair to call it work. If I won the lottery and never had to work for money again, I'd still be here with you, every week. (Recording from my penthouse in Copenhagen, but still). And... I have not won the lottery, sadly. And producing a well-done podcast is expensive. And after 10 years of offering this freely (and with joy!), I’ve realized that growing it further and making it better means accepting help, and trying new things. Yep, I need to practice what I preach to you! 

Here's the deal: I’m partnering with a media company that’s doing things differently, giving creators like me opportunities to earn money from their podcasts while also ensuring this is a really nice experience for you. This move will help support the podcast while still making it free for you, always. (So if you were wondering if this was going to a paywall/Patreon situation the answer is NEVER.) What it does mean is that you will start to hear promotions on the show. No sleazy ads. Nothing gross or tone deaf. Just me, reading sponsorship messages for products and services I genuinely like and trust. Behind the scenes, I want you to know I'll be saying NOPE to promo requests for anything and everything that is not congruent with our shared values.

I'm doing this as a way to serve you better — to bring in new voices, create richer content, and stay sustainable.

But this is new for me. I'm a little nervous about it. I hope it will be good for both of us, but as with all new things, you never really know what's going to happen until you do it.

That's why we need to stay connected as we head into this new era together.

Seriously. I'm going into this knowing that this isn’t just my podcast. It’s ours.

Like any relationship, we need to communicate! Starting immediately (like, right now 👇) you will have access to me from every episode, to let me know how this is going for you, and what I can do to be an even better growth partner for you.

Look for the “Let’s Talk” link in the show notes of every episode. Please use it — to share thoughts, give feedback, share ideas, ask questions, or just say hi.

Thank you for being part of this journey. Here’s to the next beautiful chapter.

Your partner in growth,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

PS: What do you think about all this? Let's talk!

Have you ever had one of those mornings where you're prepping for an important work meeting, juggling a million to-dos and chores, and trying to get the kids out the door with lunches packed and shoes on the right feet? Yeah… same. We often associate burnout with our jobs, but the reality is that we can get burned out on LIFE. Hey. It's a lot. Just being a reasonably functional adult can feel like one big game of Whac-a-Mole leaving us further drained each day, with no end in sight.

In this episode, I’m sitting down with Sarah Armstrong — author of The Art of the Juggling Act — to talk about what’s really going on with life related burnout, and how you can create realistic, sustainable strategies to manage it all without losing your mind, your health, or your joy. We’re diving deep into personal stories, hard-won wisdom, and super-practical ideas to help you break the cycle of exhaustion and start thriving — not just surviving.

So grab that cup of lukewarm coffee you forgot you made, and let’s dig in. Timestamps: 00:00 – Understanding Life Burnout 01:13 – Introducing Sarah Armstrong and Her Mission 02:01 – Personal Struggles and Validation 02:54 – The Juggling Act of Parenting and Career 11:21 – Setting Boundaries and Protecting Time 22:43 – The Importance of Self-Care and Recharging 27:29 – Exploring the Meta Message 27:52 – Balancing Ambition and Ability 28:35 – Personal Choices and Career Decisions 31:57 – Volunteering and School Involvement 37:32 – Defining Real Mom

If you’re nodding your head, wiping a tear, or mentally reviewing your massive to-do list right now—here’s what I want you to know: You don’t have to figure this all out on your own.

My Clarity and Confidence Coaching is designed to help amazing humans like you create sustainable change. If you’re feeling burned out, exhausted, and stretched to your limit, this is your sign to get support. Our next cohort is starting very soon and space is limited. You’ll work with a therapist trained in evidence-based coaching psychology who gets the struggle of where you are and who can help you make real changes that stick.

👉 Reserve your spot now at GrowingSelf.com/clarity. We’d love to help you get to thriving again.

And if this episode spoke to your heart, let’s keep the conversation going. Come hang out with me on Instagram or YouTube. I share a ton of resources, in-depth interviews with experts, and evidence-based strategies to help you create a life you love—even in the chaos.

Xoxo

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

www.growingself.com

P.S. Know someone who’s stuck in the burnout blender? Send them this article. Share the wisdom. Be the friend who says, “Hey, you need to read this.” They’ll thank you later.

Have you ever been in the middle of a therapy session and found yourself silently (or loudly 😂) begging for advice from your therapist? You lay it all out — the overthinking, the relationship questions, the confusion… and they smile gently and say, “Hmm... what do you think you should do?” 😵‍💫

This is an all too common occurrence that can result in confusing, frustrating, and disappointing experiences with therapy. So on this episode of the Love, Happiness & Success podcast, we’re going to talk about why your therapist won’t give you advice, what therapists can help you with, and what kind of support will give you the guidance you’re looking for.

Traditional therapy isn’t designed to tell you what to do or how to do it, and if you’re someone who wants clarity, structure, and movement forward… it might be time for a different kind of support. If you’re in therapy and wondering why you still feel stuck, this is an episode you won’t want to miss. 

Timestamps 00:00 – Why therapists don’t give advice (and why that’s intentional) 05:21 – Understanding different types of therapy 15:19 – What coaches do differently (and why it works) 21:52 – How to know what kind of support you need 24:05 – When therapy helps… and when it doesn’t 25:49 – Coaching vs. therapy: what’s right for your goals? 29:44 – Watch out: unqualified “coaches” are everywhere 33:34 – The honest truth about what will actually help you 34:21 – Finding clarity, confidence, and direction 36:38 – Questions to ask before hiring a therapist or coach 45:02 – Feeling stuck in therapy? Say this to your therapist 48:05 – It’s not you, you just need the right support

If you’ve been nodding along while listening to this and thinking, "YES. I need a plan. I need movement. I need someone who gets it", I created Clarity and Confidence Coaching just for you. To meet you where you are right now, help you find clarity for your path forward, and to guide you step-by-step through transformation. 

Right now, you can work with a brilliant therapist trained in coaching psychology for a fraction of what coaching usually costs. You’ll get expert support and a solid framework to actually create meaningful change in your life. And these spots go fast.

👉 Come visit growingself.com/clarity and snag your spot before the cohort fills up.

And hey, if this conversation resonated with you? Come hang out with me on Instagram or YouTube. I share interviews with experts, evidence-based tools that actually work, and lots of free resources to help you create love, happiness and success in your life. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

P.S. Know someone who’s been stuck in therapy wondering where the heck to go from here? Share this episode with them and support them on their journey.