Do you ever feel like “working” on your relationship just drains the joy out of it? You’re not alone— that “work on it” narrative is so common and in my experience as a marriage counselor…. some of the worst advice ever. 

Of course you want a better relationship, but there are much more effective ways of making that happen: Especially when you start prioritizing the parts that you enjoy.

In this podcast, I’ll show you why the idea that “relationships are hard work” might actually be sabotaging your connection and what to do instead. Learn how to bring more fun, positivity, and love into your relationship with simple, actionable steps. We’ll explore everything from changing your mindset to building better communication and adding joy to your everyday life.

Timestamps: 00:00 – The Worst Relationship Advice Ever 00:38 – Why Relationships Should Be Fun 01:34 – Shifting Your Mindset from Work to Joy 02:40 – Bringing Fun Back into Your Relationship 03:30 – How Personal Growth Improves Love 04:53 – Mastering Positive Communication 06:12 – Focus on What’s Good (And Watch it Grow!) 07:51 – Making Your Relationship Pleasurable Again 09:31 – Leading with Love 12:35 – Turning Mundane Tasks into Meaningful Moments

If you’ve been feeling like your relationship is more work than it should be, I’ve got something for you. My free 2-part video training, Communication That Connects, will help you shift out of that "hard work" mindset and give you tools to build a relationship that feels fun, loving, and easy again. Check it out here: https://www.growingself.com/communication. 💕

💬 Got questions? Join me for this week’s livestream on Thursday at 12 PM MT on YouTube. Submit your questions anonymously ahead of time here: https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa

Xoxo

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

www.growingself.com

P.S. If you know someone who could use this advice, share this video with them! Let’s create stronger, happier relationships together. 💕

Ever feel like you’re at war with yourself? This might change everything…

In this heartfelt and transformative episode, I had the honor of sitting down with Dr. Richard Schwartz, founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS), to explore how understanding and working with your “parts” can unlock profound healing and self-growth. 🌟

We all have parts of us—the inner critic, the procrastinator, the overachiever. These parts aren’t flaws; they’re doing their best to protect us, even if their methods aren’t helpful. Dr. Schwartz explains how we can connect with these parts, heal the pain behind them, and step into the calm, confident Self that’s been there all along.

Plus, we’ll dive into practical tools from his new workbook, discuss how trauma impacts your inner world, and even demonstrate how to start connecting with your parts. This conversation is packed with insights you don’t want to miss.

Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction: Why You Feel Stuck 01:15 Meet Dr. Richard Schwartz: Founder of IFS 03:40 What Are “Parts” and Why Do They Matter? 08:20 The Healing Power of Your Self 12:45 Live Demo: Working with Your Parts 20:00 Balancing Inner Conflicts 30:50 When and How to Seek Professional Help 38:15 Insights from IFS 40:56 Final Thoughts and Next Steps

Ready to take the first step? Check out my free What’s Holding You Back? quiz to help you gain personal insights and self-awareness around your inner world. This will shed a light on hidden obstacles within yourself so you can move forward into your best year yet with clairity and confidence. I hope you check it out. 

After you listen to this episode, join me LIVE this Thursday at 12 pm MT for an open Q&A on personal growth and Internal Family Systems. Submit your anonymous questions here, and I’ll answer them live on Thursday: https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa.

Xoxo

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

www.growingself.com

P.S. Don’t forget to share this podcast with someone who could use a little encouragement today. Let’s grow together! 💕

Ever feel stuck, like you're trying SO hard to change, but somehow end up back in the same place? You're not alone, and guess what—it's not your fault. In this episode, we'll unlock the secrets to reprogramming your subconscious mind to finally get the life you want. 🙌

Whether you're aiming to nail your New Year's resolutions or just break free from old patterns, this episode will give you the tools to make it happen. ✨

Timestamps to Transform Your Mindset:

00:00 – Why “Wanting It” Isn’t Enough

03:05 – Mind Wars: Conscious vs. Subconscious Goals

05:07 – Aligning Goals with Subconscious Needs

10:08 – How to Identify Limiting Beliefs

24:03 – Brain Rewiring 101 

41:14 – Building Self-Trust: Small Steps, Big Shifts

45:51 – Your Roadmap to Lasting Change

Ready to take the first step? Check out my free What’s Holding You Back? quiz for personalized insights into your subconscious blocks! This will help you start your new year off with clarity and confidence so you can achieve what matters most to you.

Wishing you all the best in this new chapter!

Xoxo 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growingself.com

P.S. Don’t forget to share this episode with a friend who’s so ready to make a change—you might just change their life, and get an accountability partner in the process. Let’s do this together! 💪

Friend, this topic is SO important I'm putting it back in front of you again. Here's the deal: Even people in strong, satisfying relationships can develop feelings of attraction for another person. It's part of the human experience. These feelings can be transient and meaningless... OR they could destroy your life, if you follow them.  Are crushes innocent, or on-ramps to an affair? Can you be "friends" with someone you have a crush on, without risking your relationship? What should you do when you're married, but have a crush on someone else? Oh, the questions!

It happens: people in happy, healthy, committed relationships can still develop crushes on others. However, smart, self-aware people in committed relationships that they care about need to handle these maturely and with wisdom. That's what you'll learn how to do on today's show. We'll discuss: 

• The mechanics of a crush; how and why crushes develop
• The difference between a crush and a platonic friendship
• Why happy, committed married people can have crushes on others
• How crushes can turn into something more serious
• How to use self awareness, integrity, and honesty to protect your marriage
• How to use your crush experience in order to add energy and intimacy into your relationship
• Warning signs that your crush is developing into something else
• Why extramarital affairs are always a bad idea, and rarely end well
• How to stop having a crush on someone else
• How to avoid embarrassment and professional ruin if you have a crush on a coworker
• How to protect your relationship and stay true to your values even when you're having feelings for another.

All this and more on today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

Ps: As we discussed in this episode, part of your action plan needs to be leaning towards your partner in an authentic and emotionally intimate way, and that calls for excellent communication skills. To support you in this, please help yourself to my free two part communication skills training, "Communication That Connects." I made this for you!  ... LMB

How often do you say "yes" when you really want to say "no"? If you've ever felt that way, you're not alone! Today, we're diving into what happens when you stand up to someone in all areas of life—work, relationships, even healthcare. 

My guest is the incredible Dr. Sunita Sah, an award-winning professor at Cornell and author of Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes. Dr. Sah's research focuses on why so many of us feel pressured to go along with things we don't believe in and how we can cultivate the courage to say "no" when it matters most.

In this episode, you'll learn how social norms and "insinuation anxiety" hold us back from standing up for our true selves. You’ll walk away with the confidence to take small, powerful steps toward defiance in a way that feels authentic and empowering.

Timestamps

00:22 - Meet Dr. Sunita Sah: Her Story of Transformation

00:47 - The Psychology of Compliance and Defiance

01:31 - Defying Social Pressures: Real-Life Stories

02:07 - Why Compliance in the Workplace Hurts Us All

07:37 - A Fresh Take on Defiance: It’s Not What You Think

10:11 - The Social Roots of Compliance

17:51 - Facing the Inner Blocks to Standing Up for Yourself

25:32 - Practical Steps to Strengthen Your Defiance Muscle

33:23 - Living Authentically: The Real Benefits of Saying No

45:02 - Wrapping Up: Your Takeaways and Resources

Having low self esteem can make it hard to stand up for yourself. Is this true for you? Find out by taking my free Self Esteem Quiz! You’ll find out where your self esteem thrives and discover new areas for growth. Take it here. 

And, join me for a live Q&A this Thursday at 12 pm MT on YouTube, where we'll be talking all about self-advocacy. Want to submit a question anonymously? Use this link

PS: Think of someone who could use a boost in self-advocacy? Share this episode with them, and let’s help each other live authentically! ❤️

Is pornography addiction taking a toll on your life or relationship? You’re not alone, and real help is here! 🙌 

In this episode of Love, Happiness, and Success, I sit down with the incredible Sathiya Sam, founder of the Deep Clean program, to discuss what recovery from porn addiction actually looks like. 

Together, we dive into tough (but crucial) questions: How do you spot the signs of addiction? What does true healing look like for both individuals and couples? And, most importantly, how can you support a partner without losing yourself along the way?

🎥 Ready to learn practical strategies for growth, connection, and positive change? Listen now and find actionable steps to help you or your loved one break free from pornography addiction, once and for all. 

Timestamps:

00:00 – The Hidden Impact of Porn Addiction

01:03 – Meet Sathiya: From Personal Struggle to Lifelong Mission

06:21 – Spotting the Warning Signs

10:46 – The Toll on Relationships and Intimacy

13:48 – Physical and Emotional Consequences

18:35 – Healing Betrayal Trauma Together

21:13 – Steps Toward Lasting Recovery

22:53 – Three Core Steps to Heal

23:41 – Building Self-Awareness

26:40 – How Trauma Shapes Addiction

30:56 – Supporting Your Partner’s Recovery (Without Losing Yourself)

36:41 – Long-Term Transformation

If you or a loved one are ready to break free from porn addiction, I have something to share with you. Recovery starts with connection—and connection starts with communication. My free video training series, Communication That Connects, is here to help you open up, ask for support, and rebuild trust with those who matter most. You don’t have to do this alone. 

Your partner in growth, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

GrowingSelf.com

P.S. Don’t miss this week’s live stream on Thursday at 12 pm MT here on YouTube, where we'll dive deeper into porn addiction recovery. Submit your anonymous questions in advance – I’d love to help you find your way forward. 💬

Are you walking on eggshells, questioning your sanity, and starting to wonder if your partner’s behavior is actually...narcissism?

In this episode, we’re diving deep into the challenging and often painful question of whether you might be married to a narcissist. Narcissism isn’t a one-size-fits-all diagnosis; it has shades, nuances, and layers, which can make it tough to recognize and even harder to deal with.

Chapters:

00:45 - The Signs You’re Married to a Narcissist

10:47 - The Two Types of Narcissists: Wounded vs. Malignant. 

19:12 - Inside the Narcissistic Relationship Cycle

27:00 - Can a Relationship with a Narcissist Work? 

44:42 - Strategies to Navigate Conflicts. 

If you're in a relationship with someone who might be a narcissist, I know how exhausting and frustrating communication can be. That's why I created my free 2-part video training, Communication That Connects. You’ll learn practical tools to de-escalate arguments, protect your emotional well-being, and build healthier patterns of connection, even with difficult personalities. I hope you check it out. ❤️

And don’t forget to join me for this week’s livestream on Thursday at 12 pm MT / 2pm ET on YouTube, where we’ll chat all about being married to a narcissist. You can ask an anonymous question in advance at https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa.

If you know someone else who could benefit from this episode, send it over to them! Let’s keep looking out for each other. 

Xo, Dr. Lisa

GrowingSelf.com

Are You Exhausted Trying to Help Someone Who Won’t Change? Here’s What Actually Works!

Have you ever bent over backward trying to help someone you love, only to feel like you’re getting nowhere? You’re not alone—and I’ve got good news: people can change. But here’s the kicker: they’ll only do it when it comes from within.

In this episode, I’m breaking down the psychology of change, the stages people go through, and the surprising reason why trying to force change never works (spoiler alert: it usually backfires). You’ll also learn powerful, actionable strategies to:

✅ Set healthy boundaries (without guilt). ✅ Protect your emotional well-being (because you matter too!). ✅ Provide the kind of support that actually encourages growth.

If you’re ready to stop feeling stuck and frustrated, and instead discover the most effective way to empower someone on their journey—this is for you. 🎧

Timestamps You’ll Love: 00:00 – Why It Feels Impossible to Change Someone Else 01:15 – Can People Really Change? (Yes, But Here’s the Secret) 03:45 – The Real Power of Intrinsic Motivation 06:20 – The Stages of Change: Where Your Loved One Might Be 12:40 – Setting Boundaries That Encourage Growth 18:55 – Avoiding the Trap of Enabling 23:15 – Free Tools to Help You and Your Loved One

BONUS GOODIES! 👉 Want to help a loved one uncover what’s really holding them back? Share my free What’s Holding You Back? Quiz with them—it’s designed to uncover hidden obstacles, subconscious blocks, and personal strengths to help them move forward with confidence.

👉 Don’t miss this week’s YouTube Livestream: How to Help Someone Who Doesn’t Want to Help Themselves (Thursday, 12 pm MT). You can even submit an anonymous question ahead of time here: www.growingself.com/dear-lisa.

This conversation could change everything. See you there! 🎥

Are political differences with people you love threatening to tear your relationships apart? You’re definitely not alone! Today, we’re diving deep into the delicate dance of keeping relationships healthy across political divides. 

In this episode, I’m sharing the strategies to help you navigate tricky conversations with grace, keep your cool, and protect your own happiness along the way. By the end, you’ll know exactly how to preserve the connections you care about most, even when politics threaten to tear you apart. Stick around to the end—I’ve got some free resources to help you practice these skills and share them with your loved ones. Let’s jump in!

Timestamps:

00:00 - Are Political Differences Threatening Your Relationships?  

04:22 - Assess the Importance of Each Relationship  

07:32 - Radical Acceptance (It's Tough, But Worth It!)  

11:12 - Emotional Regulation - How to Stay Cool  

16:49 - Focus on the Positives (Yes, Really!)  

23:09 - Set & Maintain Healthy Boundaries  

32:18 - Advanced Skills: Radical Curiosity and Empathy  

39:06 - Free Resources + Final Thoughts

If you loved this episode, don’t miss the next video in this series! Let’s keep building those relationship skills.

P.S. Need a little more support? Check out my free Communication That Connects 2-Part Video Series. Also, join me Thursday at 12 pm MT for a live session right here on YouTube on this very topic, how to navigate political differences in relationships. You can even submit an anonymous question right here.

Are you feeling stuck in a cycle of conflict and misunderstanding with your partner? You're not alone—and you're not powerless to fix it! In today’s episode, I’m breaking down how to fix a broken relationship by exploring the underlying patterns that keep couples locked in negative cycles.

Plus, I’ll share my own story (yes, I’ve been there too) and reveal the key strategies and mindset shifts that can help bring you and your partner back together. If you’ve been trying to make things better but feel like you’re swimming against the tide, tune in for some essential insights and actionable steps to get your relationship back on track

In this video, we’ll cover:

0:32 – The Toxic Spiral of Negative Communication  

3:15 – Uncovering the Hidden Patterns  

6:48 – How Negative Cycles Shape Perception  

10:25 – Breaking Free and Finding Real Solutions  

15:45 – When to Seek Help  

Want more guidance on fixing your relationship? Check out my free resource, How Healthy Is Your Relationship Quiz. Using this quiz, you’ll be able to decipher strengths and growth points in your relationship. 

If you want to ask me a question about your relationship, join me this Thursday at 12 pm MT on YouTube for my Livestream about how to fix a broken relationship. Submit your question anonymously here: https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa. See you there!