This episode originally aired on April 3, 2023 (Episode 343), and we’re bringing it back because it resonated with so many of you. Whether you’re reflecting on a past relationship, navigating one right now, or supporting clients through these dynamics, the lessons are worth revisiting.

Why are people with anxious attachment styles and avoidant attachment styles drawn to each other? Can anxious-avoidant relationships work, and most importantly, can they be healthy and satisfying?

Yes, they can. But the key is through your understanding of yourself, and of your partner. When you develop true understanding and empathy for your differences, you can create profound connection, and a genuinely secure and healing relationship for both of you.

This episode is going to show you how. If you’re in an anxious-avoidant relationship, or have been in one before, I hope it helps you understand these dynamics from a new perspective, and empowers you to move toward greater connection and security.

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Why Attachment Styles Matter  

02:42 Core Conflict: Desire for Closeness vs. Space  

07:04 The Push-Pull Dynamic of Anxious and Avoidant Partners  

11:08 Can Anxious-Avoidant Relationships Be Healthy?  

16:09 Finding Compatible Partners & Building Security  

17:02 Strategies for Anxious Attachment  

18:06 Strategies for Avoidant Attachment  

33:04 Why Anxious and Avoidant Partners Are Drawn Together  

42:05 Avoidant Discomfort with Closeness & Anxious Pursuing Behaviors  

45:06 Doing the Work: Self-Awareness and Self-Management  

49:04 Practical Tools for Avoidant Partners  

55:00 True Love as a Conscious Choice  

Want to know where your relationship stands today? Try my free How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz. It gives you quick insights into what’s working well and where you might want to focus your growth together.

If this resonated with you, let’s keep it going. I share more relationship advice and tools on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube, and I’d love to hear your thoughts too, whether it’s feedback on the show, questions about past episodes, or ideas for what you’d like me to cover next. Let’s talk!

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self