A lot of us try to convince ourselves we can be friends with our ex in the immediate aftermath of a breakup, but is that necesserily the best idea? In 2022 I did an episode with my ex-boyfriend talking about how a friendship was totally possible, well since then it is obvious to say that I have changed my mind, and in this episode I give my reasons, including: 

• Why we (mistakedly) try to stay friends with our exes 
• The types of relationships where this feels possible 
• The consequences 
• How it impacts our new relationships, self esteem, and ability to find closure
• How to be friends with an ex if you MUST BE 
• Essential boundaries for a friendship with your ex

This episode is the only time I have redone/revised an episode so we hope you enjoy. 

 

PREORDER MY BOOK: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/755841/person-in-progress-by-jemma-sbeg/ 

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

For business: [email protected] 

 

The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor. 

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Many of us have been facing increasing levels of political anxiety in the past days and weeks. It seems that the world has never been more divisive and polarised and there is a lot that we are uncertain and fearful of. In today’s episode we talk about how we can acknowledge that the future feels scary, but still find an internal sense of safety and peace, including:

• The value of stoic principles and focusing on what you can control
• The psychology of a strong belief system
• The power of staying present and grounding ourselves
• Overcoming doomscrolling and being informed but not overwhelmed
• How to talk about politics in a healthy way

I know this time feels very scary and uncertain but I hope this tiny slice of the internet makes you feel safe and seen, love Jemma.

 

PREORDER MY BOOK: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/755841/person-in-progress-by-jemma-sbeg/ 

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

For business: [email protected] 

 

 

The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We all know the stereotypes about the eldest child, the youngest and the only child, but the middle child often seems to be left out, and not just from our conversations on birth order theory, but also seemingly from the family sometimes. In today's episode, we putting a spotlight on the middle children, including how their position in the family makes them so agreeable, why they often become the conflict mediators, and how this can build resentment later in life. 

We also discuss why middle children feel so unseen, but also are the most independent, how they behave in friendships, relationships, in the workplace, and what happens when there are multiple middle children, as well as how to reparent your middle child. Listen now! 

PREORDER MY BOOK: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/755841/person-in-progress-by-jemma-sbeg/ 

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

For business: [email protected] 

The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. 

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The idea of a 'soft life' originated from a group of Nigerian influencers who chose the term to describe a way of living that was comfortable, joyful, minimised stress whilst prioritised self care and simple beauty, in comparison to hustle culture, burnout and urgency. In today's episode we are going to go through 5 practical tips to make this gentle life your reality, including: 

1. The 'Picture This' exercise
2. The new way to approach your To Do list 
3. How to organically regulate your nervous system
4. Creation over consumption 
5. Rethinking our ideas for success

I also have a special announcement at the beginning of the episode! Thank you again for all the support.

Preorder my book here: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/755841/person-in-progress-by-jemma-sbeg/ 

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

For business: [email protected] 

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your hobbies may be just as important as your friendships in your 20s. But whilst you may dedicate 10-15 hours a week to your friends, most of us can go a week or two without actually performing our hobbies. Why is that, and what is the consequence?In today's episode we break down the psychology of why our hobbies are so important, including: 

• The debate around what makes a hobby 
• How many hobbies do you actually need? 
• How much time should you spend doing your hobbies? 
• The Rule of Four for hobbies
• The psychological benefits 
• The 3 major reasons we struggle to perform our hobbies
• How to find time, inspiration and motivation for your hobbies, and more

Listen now if you want to make more of your leisure time! 

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

For business: [email protected] 

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Daydreaming can be a perfectly normal part of life - zoning out in the shower, before we fall asleep, on the train to work. But some of us cross over into dangerous territory or what we call maladaptive daydreaming where we can't pull ourselves away from the fantasy. We feel disconnected and it makes our real life feel so much less bright and enjoyable. It can cause us a lot of distress and distraction. Why is that? And why can't we stop ourselves? In today's episode, we break down: 

• What makes daydreaming 'maladaptive' or 'excessive' 
• What are the signs + the 16 item scale for maladaptive daydreaming
• The impact on our emotional health 
• Maladaptive daydreaming and creativity 
• Maladaptive daydreaming, trauma, anxiety and OCD 
• Is daydreaming a form of escapism?
• How to turn daydreaming into intentional visualisation 

Thank you to our listeners who contributed their perspective. Happy listening! 

The 16 item scale here: https://traumadissociation.com/mds 

The Reddit help group: https://www.reddit.com/r/MaladaptiveDreaming/ 

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

For business: [email protected] 

 

 

 

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Sometimes the loudest critic, our biggest hater is not someone we know, it is ourselves. We are the ones who are the first to judge ourselves, to shut ourselves and our ambitions down, to say the nastiest things. In today's episode we break down why we are our own worst critic, including: 

• How we learn self criticism in childhood
• The evolutionary component to criticism 
• The role of the super ego 
• The role of comparison 
• Why no one is really looking at your that closely 
• How to embrace radical self compassion and acceptance
• How to use cognitive diffusion, and much more 

This episode is a rerun whilst Jemma is recovering from an illness. We will be back on Friday with a brand new episode. 

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

For business: [email protected] 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In our 20s it can feel like a mad rush to find the one. If you are single and dating, you know the experience of going on what seems like dozens of dates only to be disappointed and, at the end of the day, exhausted and yet you still haven't found someone. In this episode, we discuss why that is including: 

• The signs your experiencing dating burnout
• What dating burnout and traditional burnout have in common
• The role of swipe based dating apps 
• Why this occurs and the emotional impact 
• The psychology of a 'dating detox' 
• How to have FUN when dating and how to overcome dating burnout 

Listen now if nothing seems to be working when it comes too feeling frustrated and exhausted when it comes to dating in your 20s. 

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

For business: [email protected] 

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

At some stage in our 20s, all of us will experience what I call 'The Loneliest Chapter' - a period where we feel detached, disconnected and isolated. Whilst this experience can feel terrible and make us question our relationships, friendships and selves, it's an important rite of passage and actually ends up teaching us a lot. In today's episode we discuss: 

• What is the 'lonely' chapter of our 20s?
• My personal journey with loneliness 
• What are some signs you may be in it, right now? 
• Why does this occur? What creates this period? 
• How can we learn to tolerate and enjoy solitude? 
• What are the benefits of loneliness? 
• How can we make new friends and feel like we belong? 

All of that, and more...

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

For business: [email protected] 

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What is the cost of caring too much for others? Always being the person to fix everyone's problems? Never needing anyone, but secretly loving that everyone else relies on you? Well, it turns out it can cost you and your relationships a lot, and may also be a sign of high functioning codependency. High functioning codependency is much more common amongst people who are overachieving, overgiving and who have few boundaries (even if they don't know it). 

In today's episode, we are joined by the originator of this term. Terri Cole is a psychotherapist and boundary expert who has been investigating this phenomena for years in her high functioning and highly successful clients. She shares the traits, behaviours, costs and ways to improve your high functioning codependency. This was one of my favourite episodes to date, happy listening!

Buy Terri's new book here:  https://www.soundstrue.com/products/too-much?srsltid=AfmBOor1-0MHrQayS-ZdUANvTC5qC-T4e1Bpxotu8cti1CqOVVizKO17 

Follow Terri here: @terricole 

Terri's resources: https://www.terricole.com/ 

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

For business: [email protected] 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.