Absolutely Not

On this bonus episode, Heather is excited to chat about conspiracy theories. Last week we gave you a prompt about your favorite theories. We spiral on the missing scientists, data centers, lost planes, the moon landing, the Antarctic ice wall and finding love with aliens.

Episode Sponsors:

Help protect your home systems – and your wallet – with HomeServe against covered repairs. Plans start at just $4.99 a month. Go to HomeServe.com to find the plan that’s right for you. Not available everywhere. Most plans range between $4.99 to $11.99 a month your first year. Terms apply on covered repairs.

Ready to do your own spring reset? Join Thrive Market with my link ThriveMarket.com/ABSOLUTELY for $20 off your first three orders plus you’ll get a FREE $60 gift

Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is coming to you from the new NYC Dear Media studios.  Fresh off the heels of Netflix is a Joke, she has some explaining to do about her show in LA. She got to see friends and foes alike! We get voicemails from women buying $20 panties and girlies having a cruise reunion at the special taping.

Episode Sponsors:

Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely.

For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT.

Ready for your own reset? For a limited time, Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.

Save 20% Off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY! #honeylovepod

Visit www.vivrelle.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for your first month free

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode Heather brings hilarious comedian and friend Jay Jurden to the pod.  Jay and Heather go all the way back to the undergrad theatre department at Ole Miss.  They reminisce about their hate for Lane Kiffin, being a theatre major together and how their paths lead them to Netflix is a Joke festival.  You can catch Jay’s latest special, Yes Ma’am, on Hulu.

Episode Sponsors:

Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

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Go to Ro.co/ABSOLUTELYNOT to see if you’re eligible for the new GLP-1 pill on Ro.

Stop settling for wines that don't quite hit the mark. Head to TryFirstleaf.com/absolutely to sign up and you'll get fifty percent off your first box PLUS free shipping for an entire year.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this replay episode, Heather tells us what really happened at Netflix is a Joke in 2024. She gives a full recap of her time in Golden state and spills the tea from the comedy shows, after parties and more! She opens up about how her life has felt like a sprint and she just made it through the finish line, yet feels hungry for more. She also answers some of the best Absolutely Not's and Yes's we've had to date!

Episode Sponsors:

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Sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a $5 bonus investment. Join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $27 billion dollars with Acorns. Head to acorns.com/absolutely or download the Acorns app to get started.

 Give your skin the affordable, luxurious glow up it deserves. Go to Naturium.com/ABSOLUTELY for 10% off your first purchase today.

Ready for your own reset? For a limited time, Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.

This year, give Mom a gift that helps her reflect on her life with fresh perspective—and gives your whole family the gift of her stories. Mother's Day is Sunday, May 10th. Order RIGHT NOW and save up to $20 at STORYWORTH.com/absolutely.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes Suzanne Lambert to the podcast to chat about all things growing up in Georgia, the drama of politics and spray tans.  The commiserate about sorority life, hotties in the senate, and Connecticut Karen’s.

Episode Sponsors:

Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely.

For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT.

You don’t have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/absolutely.

Wake up with clearer skin, smoother hair, and cooler sleep. Use code ABSOLUTELY for an extra 30% off at blissy.com/ABSOLUTELY.

Head to Knix.com and you’ll see why I love Knix. Don’t forget to use code ABSOLUTELY for 15 percent off your order – get leakproof undies, amazing bras, and more! You’re going to thank me!

Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag with your first order at meritbeauty.com.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is in full overstimulation mode as she juggles work chaos, no WiFi, and a rogue bird. She explains why “we’ll cry in June” has become her current life motto and is ready to launch a full investigation into the missing scientists. She then gets to your calls about birth conspiracies, offline shopping problems, and frat formals.

Episode Sponsors:

Head to Biologica.com/ABSOLUTELY to take their Quick Hormonal Life Stage Quiz to find the formula that’s right for you. And right now, subscribers can receive up to 32% off their purchase.

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 Start your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your @MUDWTR with code ABSOLUTELY at mudwtr.com/ABSOLUTELY! #mudwtrpod

Lululemon does limited color runs, so when those new styles drop every Tuesday, they go fast. You don't wanna wait. If it's not for you, lululemon offers free returns, no risk. That's lululemon.com.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

 On this episode, Heather is back from her unreal show at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville.  She chats about the afterparty on Broadway where she was pouring lemondrop shots for the girls where she is brought back to her days behind the sticks. After having a conspiracy dinner in the Turks, she came home to binge watch multiple documentaries.  She takes voicemails from people with a workplace crush, a weird request from an uber driver,  and someone looking for alternative experiences in their relationship.

Episode Sponsors:

Refresh your spring wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely.

Ready for your own reset? For a limited time, Prolon is offering Absolutely Not listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely.

Let your hair be one less thing to worry about. See visibly thicker, stronger, faster growing hair in 3–6 months with Nutrafol. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT.

Join the membership for where you live at joinbilt.com/absolutely.

Ready to do your own spring reset? Join Thrive Market with my link ThriveMarket.com/ABSOLUTELY for $20 off your first three orders plus you’ll get a FREE $60 gift.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is down in the basement and going through a lot right now.  Her fat kneecap is fat, but a visit to the Dr.’s office leads to hearing a missing puzzle piece about her Dad.  She also chats about the Buff City Soap mafia coming for her.  We hear voicemails from one of our Love on the Spectrum favorites, a mom debating about using her kid on TikTok and a royal family hater.

Episode Sponsors:

Save 20% Off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELY! #honeylovepod

Head to livemomentous.com, and use promo code absolutely for up to 35% off your first order

Visit yasso.com/ABSOLUTELY to enter and upgrade your freezer!!

Go to RO.CO/ABSOLUTELYNOT to see if you’re eligible for the new GLP-1 pill on Ro.

Here's the thing you need to know: lululemon does limited color runs, so when those new styles drop every Tuesday, they go fast. You don't wanna wait. If it's not for you, lululemon offers free returns, no risk. That's lululemon.com. New drops every Tuesday. Go now.

 Learn more about Camp Unwritten under Limited-Time Offers at experiences.hyatt.com.

Help protect your home systems – and your wallet – with HomeServe against covered repairs. Plans start at just $4.99 a month. Go to HomeServe.com to find the plan that’s right for you. Not available everywhere. Most plans range between $4.99 to $11.99 a month your first year. Terms apply on covered repairs.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In honor of Masters Week, we are replaying a 2023 episode where we join Heather as she sits down with the ultimate scammer, Raymond.  We discuss how they scammed their way into the Masters tournament, yet again. It is an in-depth observation into the golf world that rarely few people get to see. They get into just how much merch they bought, how swollen their feet were and how many azaleas they really drank!

Episode Sponsors:

Yasso awarded as product coupons. No purch necessary. Open to 50 US/DC, 18+. Ends 11:59pm ET 4/30. Rules: Yasso.com/ABSOLUTELY

 Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag with your first order at meritbeauty.com.

Learn more about Camp Unwritten under Limited-Time Offers at experiences.hyatt.com.

Ready to do your own spring reset? Join Thrive Market with my link ThriveMarket.com/ABSOLUTELY for $20 off your first three orders plus you’ll get a FREE $60 gift.

Sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a $5 bonus investment. Join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $27 billion dollars with Acorns. Head to acorns.com/absolutely or download the Acorns app to get started.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes Becky Robinson back to the podcast studio after breaking the hard news that Becky cannot join us on the Absolutely Knot Cruise 2.0. They chat about the happy memories from the cruise.  Becky lets us know how she lets loose when she comes home from the road.

Episode Sponsors:

When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/absolutely.

Refresh your spring wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Let your hair be one less thing to worry about. See visibly thicker, stronger, faster growing hair in 3–6 months with Nutrafol. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT.

Wake up with clearer skin, smoother hair, and cooler sleep. Use code ABSOLUTELY for an extra 30% off at blissy.com/ABSOLUTELY

Caraway’s cookware set is a favorite for a reason, it can save you up to $230 versus buying the items individually. Plus, if you visit Carawayhome.com/NOT10 you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Caraway. Non-Toxic kitchenware made modern.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.