Dear Dr. Tracy

In this candid conversation, clinical psychologist Dr. Tracy Dalgleish and her husband Greg unpack a real moment from their own marriage to explore one of the most common and misunderstood relational challenges dismissiveness. Together they break down why phrases like “you’re right,” “everything will be fine,” and “don’t you think you’re being sensitive” leave partners feeling unseen and alone, even when the intent behind them is positive. Dr. Tracy explains how dismissiveness is often a nervous system response shaped by socialization, attachment patterns, and learned family dynamics, while Greg reflects on the pressures men feel to fix, solve, and move on quickly. Listeners will learn practical tools to interrupt dismissive patterns, slow down reactive cycles, stay curious, repair in real time, and communicate more effectively. This episode offers a relatable look into how couples can transform quick shutdowns into deeper connection and understanding.

Links in Show Notes

Be Connected Relationship Support

https://drtracyd.com/be-connected

30 Days to Us

https://drtracyd.mykajabi.com/offers/B2s9epue/checkout

Scripts for Defensiveness

https://drtracyd.mykajabi.com/defensive

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In this episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish shares two of her most trusted strategies for navigating difficult family dynamics—especially during the holiday season when old patterns, expectations, and nervous system triggers tend to flare. Drawing from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, she explains why we can’t change or control others, and how “dropping the rope” and questioning the stories we tell ourselves can immediately shift our emotional state. With relatable examples, practical guidance, and a compassionate lens, Dr. Tracy helps listeners step out of old cycles, reclaim their bandwidth, and stay grounded—even when others refuse to meet them halfway.
You’ll Learn:
Why trying to change or convince others keeps you stuck in emotional tug-of-war
What “dropping the rope” really means—and how it protects your peace
How family dynamics and nervous system activation intensify during the holidays
The power of asking, “Is this the story I want to tell myself right now?”
How to move out of mental spiraling and into present-moment grounding

RESOURCES:

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Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠

Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠

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In this episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish unpacks one of the most painful and confusing dynamics she sees in couples: being warmly welcomed into a partner’s family—only to later become the outsider.

Through a powerful listener story, she explores why these sudden shifts occur, how family systems create scapegoats, and why meaningful accountability is often out of reach. Dr. Tracy also breaks down what real repair looks like, how to protect your emotional wellbeing, and how to stay united with your partner when extended-family patterns threaten your connection.
Whether listeners have felt rejected by in-laws, misunderstood, or pushed to the margins of a family they once felt part of, this conversation offers clarity, validation, and a grounded path forward.
What You’ll Learn
Why some in-law relationships shift dramatically after major life transitions—especially becoming parents
How family systems unconsciously create scapegoats and maintain old roles
Why apologies and accountability can feel impossible in certain family structures
How to protect your emotional safety without escalating conflict
Practical ways to stay aligned with your partner when extended-family dynamics get in the way
What real repair looks like—and how couples can rebuild trust together

Download my TEN QUESTIONS to ask yourself to get out of your assumptions and stories.

RESOURCES:

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Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠    

Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠

Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠

Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠

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In this episode of From the Couch, Dr. Tracy talks about what really happens after ending a toxic or narcissistic relationship and why healing isn’t just emotional—it’s neurological.

When you’ve spent years being shamed, blamed, or dismissed, your nervous system learns that mistakes and disagreements aren’t safe. Neurons that fire together wire together, meaning your body develops reflexive responses that follow you into new relationships.

Dr. Tracy explains how this wiring forms, why you may still react with fear or shutdown even when you’re no longer in that environment, and why this doesn’t mean you’re broken.

Dr. Tracy shares three essential steps for healing: creating new messages of safety through repetition, practicing co-regulation with a safe partner, and releasing stored stress through movement and breath work. She also emphasizes the role of self-compassion in trauma recovery and rebuilding trust.

If you’re navigating life after a toxic relationship and wondering why it still feels hard, this episode will help you understand your nervous system and begin rewiring toward safety and connection.

RESOURCES:

Order my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother

Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠    

Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠

Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠

Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠

LINKS:

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In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg explore what really happens to couples during the holiday season—the mental load, the invisible labour, the unspoken assumptions, and those moments when partners suddenly realize they feel more like roommates than a connected team. Dr. Tracy explains why the holidays create the perfect storm for disconnection, how stress triggers negative sentiment override, and why small moments like “Where’s the tape?” can feel disproportionately heavy on an already overloaded nervous system.

They walk listeners through the stories couples often fall into, the strain of increased emotional labour, and the cycle many partners get stuck in: one person carrying the invisible work, the other withdrawing, both feeling unseen. From there, they shift into what actually helps. They share their 10-minute daily connection ritual, the questions that foster emotional attunement, and how small, intentional actions can rebuild a sense of partnership.

If you’re moving through the holidays feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or like two ships passing in the night, this episode offers clarity on the deeper patterns at play—and practical, realistic steps to help you reconnect without needing more time.

Join my 10-Day More Than Roommates Challenge

Download my free 10 Questions to Challenge Your Stories: https://drtracyd.mykajabi.com/assumption

RESOURCES:

Order my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother

Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠    

Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠

Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠

LINKS:

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In this short, impactful episode, Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish answers one of the most common questions she hears: Should I hold out for an apology from a parent or in-law?

When you share your hurt and they respond with defensiveness, justification, or minimization, it often triggers shame and escalation—leaving you feeling unseen and even more frustrated. Dr. Tracy explains why some family members simply cannot apologize due to long-standing patterns, emotional immaturity, or generational dynamics, even when they care about you.

Instead of staying stuck waiting for repair that may never come, this episode helps you shift toward what you can control. You’ll learn why cutting people off isn’t always the answer, and how all-or-nothing estrangement can become another form of avoidance.

You’ll leave with an understanding of forgiveness—not as excusing behavior, but as releasing the emotional hold the situation has on you and redefining the relationship on your terms.

RESOURCES:

Order my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother

Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠    

Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠

Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠

Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠

LINKS:

Calm: Save 40% off at calm.com/Tracy

NativePath: Special Bundle deal at getnativepath.com/Tracy

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What really happens behind closed doors when two iconic artists build a marriage, a family, and a creative life together?

In this intimate conversation, I sit down with Canadian musicians Raine Maida (Our Lady Peace) and Chantal Kreviazuk to talk about the real work of long-term love. We explore the story behind their documentary I’m Going to Break Your Heart, the “burnt chicken” moment that revealed deeper invisible labor dynamics, and how everyday micro-heartbreaks can either chip away at connection or strengthen intimacy.

We dive into maximizer/minimizer patterns, why conflict is inevitable in marriage, and how a simple pause can stop a spiral. You’ll hear how they use tools like CPR (Catch, Pause, Repair), eye-gazing, and intentional autonomy to stay connected through parenting, touring, hormonal shifts, and the evolving seasons of a decades-long relationship. We also unpack men’s resistance to therapy, reframing it as coaching, and why interdependence—not perfection—is the foundation of lasting partnership.

If you’ve ever felt alone in the messiness of marriage, this episode will help you feel seen, supported, and equipped to build a stronger, more resilient relationship. Tune in to hear the truth behind long-term love.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Check out Raine and Chantal’s Substack: A Rock and Roll Love Story: https://raineandchantal.substack.com/

Raine and Chantal’s Documentary: I’m Going To Break Your Heart

RESOURCES:

Order my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother

Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠    

Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠

Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠

Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠

LINKS:

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In moments of conflict, it’s easy to feel unheard—and to keep “piling on” examples in the hope that your partner will finally understand.

But what if that very habit is the thing preventing real repair?

In this episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish unpacks why we overload our partners during arguments, how it triggers defensiveness, and what to do instead to foster connection and accountability. You’ll learn why slowing down, naming one feeling, and allowing space for emotion is the key to creating lasting change and deeper understanding in your relationship.

Tune in to feel seen, supported, and equipped with practical tools to navigate conflict with compassion and clarity.

Grab my new book ⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠!! Available on all formats

RESOURCES:

Want your questions answered on the show?⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠⁠    

Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠

Ready to deepen your connection?⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠

Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the⁠⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠

LINKS:

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Keywords: relationship repair, piling on in conflict, communication skills for couples, defensiveness in relationships, emotional validation, Gottman method, couples therapy insights, relationship podcast

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Do you ever feel like you’re just going through the motions in your relationship—managing, reacting, doing, but not truly connecting? In this candid conversation, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish and her husband Greg explore what it means to slip into autopilot mode—that state where we function out of habit rather than intention. They unpack the science and psychology behind it, revealing how early experiences and nervous system responses shape the ways we disconnect from ourselves and our partners.

Together, they share real-life examples and practical exercises to help you become more present, rebuild emotional attunement, and reignite connection—one small, conscious shift at a time. Whether you’re stuck in the same arguments, feeling like roommates, or simply moving through your days on repeat, this episode will help you slow down, tune in, and show up differently. Tune in to feel seen, supported, and equipped to reconnect—with yourself and your partner.

Grab my new book ⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠!! Available on all formats

RESOURCES:

Want your questions answered on the show?⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠⁠    

Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠

Ready to deepen your connection?⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠

Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the⁠⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠

LINKS:

⁠⁠Factor Meals:⁠⁠ Save 50% off your first box and get free breakfast for a year. Use code TRACY50OFF at factormeals.com/TRACY50OFF

Rula: Get the support you need with ⁠⁠rula.com/Tracy⁠

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Keywords: relationship autopilot, emotional connection, relationship patterns, mindfulness in relationships, couples communication, relationship awareness, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, Be Connected

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In this From the Couch episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish answers a listener’s question about navigating conflict with a sister-in-law. Using her expertise as a psychologist and couples therapist, she unpacks toxic family patterns, explores loyalty binds within families, and shares practical strategies to help couples stay united when extended-family dynamics create tension. Learn how to set boundaries, communicate effectively, and protect your marriage from outside drama.

Keywords: sister-in-law conflict, toxic family dynamics, mother-in-law, boundaries, marriage advice, family relationships, couples therapy.

Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠

RESOURCES:

Want your questions answered on the show?⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠⁠    

Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠

Ready to deepen your connection?⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠

Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the⁠⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠

LINKS:

⁠⁠Calm:⁠⁠ Save 40% off at ⁠⁠calm.com/Tracy⁠⁠

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⁠⁠KiwiCo:⁠⁠ Save 50% off with code TRACY ⁠⁠KiwiCo.Com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Vionic Shoes⁠⁠⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com

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