Setting boundaries is one of my favorite topics because it took me forever to figure out how to do it right. 

So I enjoy sharing with you the perspectives that have worked for me. 

There're some questions that come over and over whenever I'm working with new clients. 

How do I deal with someone who doesn't honor my boundaries? How do I set up boundaries in the first place since I'm a people pleaser? How do I do it if no one taught me about this? 

Today, I will offer a framework to help you address these questions. 

What I mention in this episode:

• Your boundaries are yours to uphold
• My experience when I started learning about boundaries
• The importance of setting up boundaries ahead of time  

What you'll learn from it:

• The definition of boundaries
• What to do when someone crosses your boundaries
• Why the "firmly but gently" approach works 
• What is the appropriate energy to set boundaries 

I am so glad and honored to connect with you. Thank you for tuning in. 

Until next time, Kavetha

PS- Boundaries are crucial in relationships. They are established for you and the other person, not against them. 

So if you want to learn how to uphold boundaries gently, firmly, and healthily, I have a program to help you. 

Heal Your Relationships is a program created for women. It provides evidence-based tools, training, and a community to learn how to build rock-solid connections.

In this 8-week program, you will get the HYR™ Framework and Tools and weekly calls with certified coaches both privately and in a group environment. 

Most importantly, you won't be by yourself on this journey. Many other women will walk side by side with you.

Learn more by booking a breakthrough call with me: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

In This Episode:

00:00 Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

01:00 Thank you for tuning in

01:39 Why boundaries is one of my favorite topics?  

02:17 Questions that come over and over when working with new clients  

03:09 What are boundaries? 

05:33 Examples of boundaries 

07:22 First rule for setting boundaries 

10:50 Second rule for setting boundaries 

13:26 Third rule for setting boundaries  

15:23 Summary of the framework 

16:14 An exercise for you

Sexual health is still taboo in many circles. Even for physicians. 

Many of us didn’t get enough sexual education when we were studying. Surprisingly, this also applies to OBGYNs. 

This is the reason why today’s guest, Dr Sadaf Lodhi, decided to become a sexual coach. She noticed a massive gap in her knowledge and took the matter into her own hands. 

Dr Sadaf Lodhi is a board-certified OBGYN and executive coach for women based in New York. She graduated from the University of Michigan with honors, receiving a Bachelor of Science in Biochemistry. 

Afterwards, she acquired her Doctorate in Osteopathic Medicine at Michigan State University. Then she completed her residency in gynecology and obstetrics in Michigan.

She earned her life and executive coach certification from Rutgers University and is now a sex counselor and educator. 

As a practicing OBGYN in New York for over 20 years, her mission has always been to empower and educate women. Most recently, she opened up a telehealth practice serving patients in New York and Michigan for sexual and menopausal health. 

Dr Sadaf Lodhi helps women with sexual confidence through coaching so that they can find pleasure in their relationships. She believes that all women, regardless of their backgrounds, have the potential to live life to its fullest.

What we discuss in this episode:

• The reason why did Dr Sadaf Lodhi become a sex coach 
• The explanation of the sexual response cycle
• The definition of “good enough sex”  

What you’ll learn from it:

• How to develop a more sex-positive mindset
• How to bridge the gap between sexual and emotional intimacy
• How to spice things up in a relationship that feels stale  
• How to activate your sexual desire when your plate is full of obligations 

I learn so much from this conversation. I hope you enjoy it and learn as much as I did.   

Thinking of you, Kavetha

PS- Everybody deserves to feel loved. You too. 

So if you want to become a vessel for love and nourish fulfilling relationships, I have something for you. 

Heal Your Relationships is a program I designed explicitly for women. HYR provides evidence-based tools, training, and a community to build an unshakeable foundation and rock-solid connections.

In this 8-week program, you will get the HYR™ Framework and Tools and weekly calls with certified coaches in a group environment and privately. 

Besides, you won’t be by yourself on this journey. A community of women will have your back every step of the way.

Do you want to learn more? Book a call with me: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

In This Episode:

00:00 Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

01:07 Introducing Dr Sadaf Lodhi

03:48 How did Dr Sadaf Lodhi get into coaching? 

06:53 When did Dr Sadaf Lodhi decide to become a coach?  

07:37 The discomfort associated with talking about sex 

08:49 How to develop a more sex-positive mindset? 

10:48 Some of the most common sex-negative thoughts 

12:01 How to bridge the gap between sexual and emotional intimacy?

15:19 How to spice things up in a relationship that feels stale? 

18:07 People who feel uncomfortable scheduling dates with their partner  

21:35 Explanation of the sexual response cycle 

26:53 How to activate your sexual desire when your plate is full of obligations?    

29:33 Balancing the household chores to increase the libido 

33:47 Definition of “good enough sex” 

36:52 Dr Sadaf Lodhi’s faith and its connection with her work

41:26 How can we help younger people be more sex-positive? 

43:59 Different religious backgrounds and sexual health

45:09 Does an increase in emotional intimacy reduce passion? 

47:47 How to create mystery with a long-term partner?

49:44 How to start teaching emotional mastery?

54:39 Don’t compare yourself to others

55:59 Where can we find Dr Sadaf Lodhi? 

57:04 Final words of wisdom

Resources mentioned: 

- Book “Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle” by Emily Nagoski PhD and Amelia Nagoski DMA - https://www.amazon.com/Burnout-Secret-Unlocking-Stress-Cycle/dp/1984818325/ 

Connect with Dr. Sadaf Lodhi: 

- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/drsadafobgyn/ 

- TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@drsadafobgyn 

- Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-muslim-sex-podcast/id1603471810 

- Website - https://drsadaf.com/ 

Life is short. Are you focusing on what matters most? Or do misunderstandings, hurts, and rumination consume your precious time and energy?

In this bonus episode, I share why being intentional with your relationships is important and how you can learn practical ways to stop arguing for good. Tune in and register for the free 5-Day Marriage Communication Challenge that runs June 5th - June 9th, 2023. 

Click here to register for the free 5-Day Marriage Communication Challenge: https://drkavetha.com/communication-challenge

How to make big decisions? This theme has come up over and over in my sessions with clients.  

People who struggle to make big decisions are immersed in confusion and hesitation. 

Besides, they may be waiting for something to happen before making these big decisions. 

And they also think that they are not brave enough and that some other people are wired to jump, but they simply can’t do it. 

It doesn’t work like that. 

Everyone has the same design in their brain. It’s not that they’re brave and you’re not. 

The people who make big, bold decisions have overridden the fear installed by the primitive brain. 

And you can do it too. 

So today, I share with you guys how I have made big decisions in my life and the framework I use to walk myself through the other side, especially when I’m really scared and don’t know what I will find once I make the leap.  

What I mention in this episode:

• The big seven leaps I made in my own personal life
• The reason why vagueness is the enemy of action
• The role of consistency when making changes 

What you’ll learn from it:

• The definition and characteristics of a big decision
• The four steps to making big decisions 
• A practical exercise for overriding the fear center of your brain  
• How to deal with the fear of loneliness 

I hope this episode helps you realize that you must be willing to blow things up a little bit to find the beauty waiting for you on the other side. 

With love, Kavetha

PS- Are you looking to create a solid emotional foundation and nourish fulfilling relationships?

Then I have something to help you. 

Heal Your Relationships, my program specifically designed for women, provides evidence-based tools, training, and a community to build an unshakeable foundation and rock-solid relationships.

In this 8-week program, you will get the HYR™ Framework and Tools, and weekly calls with certified coaches, both in a group environment as well as privately. 

You’ll also be accompanied by a group of women who have each other’s back. 

Do you want to learn more? Click here and book a breakthrough call with me: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

In This Episode:

00:00 Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

00:33 I want to invite you to a free marriage communication challenge

02:02 Today we are gonna talk about how to make big decisions 

04:09 Vagueness is the enemy of action 

04:50 What is a big decision?  

06:58 The big seven leaps I made in my life 

14:20 The first step to making big decisions

18:42 A practical exercise for implementing the first step 

24:15 The second step  

30:43 The third step 

33:16 The fourth step   

38:31 There is no achieving but deepening confidence in your capacities 

40:49 Your next version of yourself is knocking 

44:27 How to deal with the fear of loneliness

45:41 The role of consistency when making changes 

51:06 You can do the things that seem impossible to you today

Register here for the free 5 Day Marriage Communication Challenge —> https://drkavetha.com/communication-challenge

When Breath Becomes Air, the book written by Dr. Paul Kalanithi, moved and inspired me. 

Many of you said you enjoy my takeaways about a particular book. 

So today I want to share some lessons from this piercing work. 

Recently, I read this book for the third time and got more from it this time than ever. 

I think the reason is that I’m older and have had more experiences. 

Some of them have been exhilarating. Others have been sobering. And I have also experienced grief more acutely. 

Even though the book is imbued with the wisdom of death looming, it is life-affirming. Reading it has definitely opened up my life. 

What I mention in this episode:

• Why the depth of experience I went through has made this book more precious to me
• Paul Kalanithi’s biography 
• Four main lessons I learned from the book

What you’ll learn from it:

• The importance of deciding what’s really important to you to make the most of your time
• How to live in your questions rather than rushing to get answers 
• The sacredness in finding the work you are meant to do on this Earth
• Why you don’t have to explain the reason you like or dislike something

I hope this book gives you the same goosebumps it gives me every time I read it. 

xo, Kavetha

PS- Want to create an unshakable foundation and cultivate meaningful relationships?

My program for women, Heal Your Relationships, offers evidence-based tools, training, and community to build an unshakeable foundation and rock-solid relationships.

In this 8-week program, you will get the HYR™ Framework and Tools, and weekly calls with certified coaches in a group environment and privately. 

Besides, you’ll be surrounded by a community of women who have each other’s back. 

Click here to learn more and connect for a breakthrough call with me: https://healyourrelationships.com/ 

In This Episode:

00:00 Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

01:38 Today I have a special treat for you 

03:58 Introduction to the book When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

06:55 General summary of the book 

11:19 First lesson from the book

16:47 Second lesson from the book

19:03 Third lesson from the book 

23:33 Forth lesson from the book   

25:44 Connection of this book with the five remembrances  

27:31 I would love to hear from you  

Resources: 

- Podcast episode about Viktor Frankl’s teachings - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wiseish-010-5-lessons-from-viktor-frankl/id1622617195?i=1000565759860 

- Book “When Breath Becomes Air” by Paul Kalanithi - https://www.amazon.com/When-Breath-Becomes-Paul-Kalanithi/dp/081298840X 

- Book “Cutting for Stone” by Abraham Verghese - https://www.amazon.com/Cutting-Stone-novel-Abraham-Verghese/dp/0375414495/ 

- The five remembrances from the Upajjhatthana Sutta - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Upajjhatthana_Sutta

Parenting a sensitive child could be difficult. Especially when they come from sensitive parents who are thoughtful and want to acknowledge their emotions while, at the same time, establishing the appropriate boundaries. 

Many of us, as healers, whether physicians or coaches, want to help our clients heal in a wholesome way. 

This also applies to our children. 

We may fumble with finding how to help our children when they struggle with the same problems we had when we were younger. 

It is true that we heal ourselves through each client that we heal. And also through raising our children in an emotionally safe environment, with all the wonderful and scary things this process entails. 

To learn more about raising sensitive children, Erica and I have invited Dr. Ceara Deno. 

She's a mom to two boys, ages 11 and 13, a newborn medicine physician in Boston, and a parent coach for sensitive families to build peaceful homes. 

In today's episode, Dr. Ceara Deno explains the characteristics of a sensitive child and a sensitive family. 

Besides, she shares her thoughts on how to start developing emotional mastery, the role of trauma in parenting, and the common thread that caring parents bring to coaching sessions. 

If you have a sensitive child or if you are a sensitive person, this episode will provide invaluable wisdom to connect with your loved ones respectfully and vulnerably.  

I hope it helps you as much as it helped me. 

In This Episode:

00:00 Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

01:01 Welcoming Dr. Ceara Deno

01:54 Helping sensitive families to build peaceful homes

03:24 How did Dr. Ceara Deno start working as a parent coach?

07:45 Migrating into the niche of sensitive children and parents

10:39 How to know if you are a member of a sensitive family

13:02 The sensory oversensitivity associated with being neurodivergent 

15:28 Adults who were sensitive children   

17:11 Dr. Ceara Deno’s entry point to developing emotional mastery  

20:44 The role of trauma in parenting  

24:29 Anger means unmet needs and what to do about it

29:17 Common thread that parents bring to coaching sessions

32:35 Incorporating role play in parenting 

35:45 How to deal with pressing issues that seem unsolvable 

40:43 The human side of parenting

43:44 Connecting before correcting 

47:30 How to contact Dr. Ceara Deno

48:55 Concept of repair in relationships

Resources: 

- Jai Institute for Parenting - https://coaches.jaiinstituteforparenting.com/ 

Connect with Dr. Ceara Deno: 

- Website - https://www.sweetspotparenting.com/ 

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

• Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

Our relationships could feel boring or distant. We may think that we no longer have much in common with the other person. We may not even know if we find the other person interesting or exciting. 

Believe me, you are not the only human being in the world who has doubts about their relationships. 

And I'm not only speaking about romantic connections. Every relationship has its seasons, also the ones that you have with your parents, your coworkers, your friends, other members of your family, or even with yourself. 

So how do you restore vitality and aliveness in your relationships?  

It's a real dilemma. 

To revive the relationship, you must put energy, effort, and attention into it. 

But since you find the relationship boring in the first place, you don't want to dedicate your precious time to fix it. 

It's like chasing your own tail. You want that feeling back, but you want the feeling before putting in the effort. 

In today's episode, I explain why you feel bored in your relationship. 

Two of my personal stories will illustrate the importance of being you, unapologetically, to bring back joy and aliveness in your day-to-day life and connections with others. 

My strategies to unveil radical honesty will allow you to pay attention to the whispers of truth in your ear. 

Take some time. Let it simmer. And keep tending to your truth until you hit something surprising. That hidden truth is what will bring realness to your relationship.

In This Episode:

00:00 Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

01:00 It’s so good to connect with you! 

02:05 A question has been marinated in my brain

03:46 What do we do when a relationship feels boring?        

05:01 The dilemma of fixing a relationship that feels boring

06:22 Your relationship with yourself could feel dull too

07:22 The reason why you feel like this 

08:01 An example from my personal life  

11:36 What happened when I start feeling better 

13:42 Another personal story I want to share with you

17:19 Speaking your truth and connecting with radical honesty

20:17 The first thing you need to do to connect with your truth

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

• Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair
• ● Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

Sometimes what bothers us is not actually what bothers us.

There is something underlying our angst, discomfort, emptiness. But what's at the bottom of these feelings? 

It could be many things. And it's hard to pinpoint the reasons. 

At the same time, there is a method that helps us identify all of these reasons. 

In today's episode, I share this method. Undoubtedly, it will help you discover the core of what you have to shift to get the feeling you are chasing NOW. 

It will help you avoid abstractions and noise to get to the root of the issue and start acting from that place.  

And furthermore, it will prevent you from blaming others for your situation. You don't have to absolve yourself from ownership and responsibility. You must be in the driver's seat of your life. 

I know you can do it, and this method will certainly help you get there. 

In This Episode:

00:01 I’m recording this in New York City!   

01:54 News from my personal life 

03:04 Introduction of today’s topic 

04:10 The 5 Whys method        

07:41 Focus on your own responsibilities

10:05 Using this method to analyze why you are upset

11:53 The amount of “whys” you ask to get to the root 

13:05 Situations where you can use this method  

14:31 What to do when you find the root of the issue 

15:27 I would love to hear from you!

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

• Email your answers at [email protected] 

Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

Writing down the situations when you feel triggered is an excellent exercise to get to know yourself more. 

Besides jotting down these moments, you must write the feelings that come up in every instance. 

Not the thoughts. Not the stories you tell about it. Just the FEELINGS. 

Anger, disappointment, overwhelmed, confusion, fear, happiness, worry, rage. Whatever it is, write it down. 

In today’s episode, I will help you look for the patterns emerging in those upsetting moments or events. 

You will also discover the different coping strategies you may choose when you experience uncomfortable feelings. 

We all have at least one of these mechanisms: ruminating, venting, yelling, becoming passive-aggressive, shutting down, or distracting ourselves with wine, food, or work. All of us. 

But awareness is the first step. Once you unveil your patterns and how you act upon them, you can implement the strategies to change and grow from them.  

In This Episode:

00:34 I hope you are having a good day    

00:55 Topics already covered on the podcast 

02:14 Today’s exercise 

03:08 Different coping mechanisms       

04:48 Writing down your actions when upsetting feelings come up

05:43 Our membership program Mastery is open again  

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

● Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

● Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

Rumination is not just thinking repeatedly about something. This is introspection. 

Instead, rumination is persevering on distressing ideas. It is an intrusive and obsessive act rather than a deep reflection. 

In fact, rumination is our go-to place when things are uncomfortable. 

Someone may have said something upsetting to you. And then you repeat that conversation in your head. 

Five million times. 

So ruminating is tough. 

On the one hand, it gives you a sense of power and control over the situation. But, on the other, it can be very destructive. 

Besides, rumination is like a stationary bike. It goes nowhere. 

Today’s guest, Dr. Kristi Angevine, will help us understand why ruminating is a habit and how to deconstruct it. 

Dr. Kristi Angevine is a board-certified ObGyn and also a certified life coach. She specializes in helping high-achievers change unhelpful habits into intentional ones. 

Today, Erika and I spoke with Kristi about habits in general and rumination in particular.  

I hope you get as much from this interview as we did. Enjoy. 

In This Episode:

01:20 Introducing Dr. Kristi Angevine    

04:54 Kristi’s background 

06:28 Reason why Kristi focuses on habits 

13:18 Definition of the habit of rumination      

16:43 Why do we ruminate?  

19:19 Rumination doesn’t feel like a choice

22:05 Actions that could be done when ruminating 

28:31 How to prevent the emergence of rumination 

35:10 Examples of helpful resources 

44.15 What to do if your inner critic emerges

45.44 Kristi’s childhood memory that she really cherishes 

47.42 Connecting with Kristi’s work 

Dr. Kristi Angevine

• Website - https://habitsonpurpose.com/ 
• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/habits.on.purpose 
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kristi.angevine/
• LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristi-angevine/ 
• Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/habits-on-purpose/id1609275644 

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

● Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair