Help Me Be Me

Often when you grow up with caregivers or relationships with people who are inconsistent, unstable, deceptive and unreliable, as a natural result you end up completing the other half of the Yin-Yang and it becomes inherent to your make-up as a person. You grow opposite and complimentary strengths – and those strengths actually reward you in lots of ways, not to mention, it feels good to be able to take care of others and make it happen. However – here’s the kicker – as a result, in the rest of your life, you unconsciously seek out others you can compliment in the exact same way, which means you often end up with partners and friends who are just as incapable or flawed. It’s not your fault, it’s just the dynamic you’re comfortable with. It’s also because that’s who is drawn to you: they crave what you can give and once they see you giving it, they cling to you. You also have a very specific form of trauma in that you expect and anticipate disappointing behavior from everyone in your life. Why wouldn't you? Based on your life experience, to trust is to place yourself in harm's way. Not to fear! This is not a damning situation in the least. You have the building blocks for something much greater than if you hadn’t had this upbringing at all. You can build the muscle to trust others and you can also build the muscle that will allow you to find trustworthy people. Your solution will take conscious and consistent work, but it’ll be simple and somewhat automatic, so don’t stress. It will unfold on its own, and it can start right now with 3 very conscious, deliberate steps. I’m going to introduce you to those steps right now. For more about me and to read more of my writing, check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com If you likee please review me on iTunes! 'Twould help me a lot. xo Sarah May B.

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This is for anyone who’s in a place in their life where you feel like your body is an unpredictable enemy, or maybe you're terrified of it or you're stuck in a vicious loop of dieting. Maybe your body is acting weird and you cannot tell what’s going on with it at all. My friend Leila is a guest host today because she and I both went to the same amazing MD/nutritionist and the basic education we got was so blow-my-mind amazing, we had to share it with you. It’s amazing how many misconceptions we had about food and the way your body relates to it. In short – this episode is about Nutrition and Metabolism 101 – cause of a lot of us don’t know about that stuff! I didn’t. The goal of the episode is to help you build holistic health. It’s about why it’s most important to come from health if you want to look great and you want your body to look great. If you want that – build it right. Otherwise you’re screwing the future-you out of a whole lot of happiness and also likely putting a whole lot of stress on your metabolism. Check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com for the show notes with added info links! Link to the blog post is now here: Diet Fear http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com/blog/2014/9/28/diet-fear

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If you’ve recently gotten dumped or you can’t fit in with the crowd you want to hang out with, this is a blog for you. Firstly, I am sorry you are here because it’s definitely painful and lonely – but know that this is not forever, it’s not because of anything being wrong with you, and it’s actually a gift in disguise.

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This is about when people you love disappoint you. If you're stuck in a loop of bad behavior and find yourself set up again and again, maybe even to the point that a confrontation has come about, this is a podcast for you. Whether it's a friend, family member, or significant other, the solution lies in setting your expectations to zero. Not in a bad way - in a realistic and self-loving, healthy way. When someone you love constantly disappoints you, what is really hurting you is your expectation not being met. If you want to keep this relationship, you’ve got to be able to accept both outcomes, and be okay with that. I know that’s easier said than done so I will cover the what, why and how in these types of relationships in hopes that you will better find a solution if you happen to be in a relationship like this.

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This is an episode for anyone looking to foster their inner beauty: that glow of light that only comes from the inside out, an interview with choreographer (and one of my fave girls) Sophie Olson. It’s a bit of inspiration juice for anyone working on building their self-love or working on body image issues, from a girl who’s contagiously passionate and extremely sweet. Sophie Olson has choreographed music videos for Zooey Deschanel and is the creator of the S.O.D.E. Mobile Dance program. Visit her at SophieOlsonDanceExplosion.com Topics include creative inspiration, body-image and motivation. I hope you enjoy!

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This is for anyone stuck in a relationship that hurts them. There’s also a blog version on Hello Giggles and Teaspoon of Happy. Often people find themselves stuck in unhealthy relationships, anticipating negative behavior and growing sick inside with worry. Because so many of the unhealthy relationships are with people you would consider family, it’s extremely painful and confusing to get out of one. You will find yourself tortured with guilt, questioning and doubting your own motives. You might find yourself saying things like “But I have to!” rationalizing why it's easier to stay in it than try to leave. This is a relationship is felt much like a hostage situation would be: you have a proverbial gun held to your head by the implied impact of your actions. In other words: you’re damned if you do and damned if you don't, so for now you're trapped and can’t get out. If this sounds familiar, this episode is a toolkit for you.

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The Good Fight is an episode for anyone suffering and stuck in fights they don't want to be in, whether it's with a friend, spouse or coworker. I know it can be rough on the soul, but fights give you the potential to grow closer to others. If you’re fighting, it means you’re both invested in the relationship. Even if things seem dire, don’t lose hope— sometimes all you need are the right tools to help you get there. x Sarah May B.

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What is your "Achilles" type? Know that the bad choices you make are not your fault — it’s likely that you cannot see the patterns in your choices because it's encoded into your chemistry, based on your upbringing. It’s all part of your “love map” – basically the foundation for what you believe around love, commitment and relationships. This is an episode for anyone who has a track record of choosing bad relationships, whether it’s friends or love interests. I will go through the basics of bad relationship matches: how to spot them and why they are the way they are. I'll also offer you insight into what could be drawing you toward these types in the first place so that you can choose be intentional about looking for different types moving forward. Also, I have a special guest with me— the love of my life and my future hubby, Adam. Yay.

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This is to help you cure yourself of self-inflicted pain, the kind caused by a focus on what you believe is lacking in your life. Whether that suffering comes from worry, an obsession with weight, or a feeling that you need someone else in order to be happy, happiness comes from aligning your goals with your highest values. True happiness results from what is in your best interests, wholistically. Once you set the right goals, the recurring negative results fall away: things like self-bullying, worry and negativity. I invite you to take a listen and decide on a better set of goals - including a commitment to your happiness.

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This episode is about things that cause us to feel ashamed and what those things have in common. It's about examining the roots of these acts so that you can let them go, move on with your life and live more happily. If there's anything that you don't want in your life, you can decide to change it today.

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