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#164 – Being Defensive is a Losing Strategy – Most Popular Episodes of 2024

It’s easy to see when someone else is getting defensive, but when we get defensive, it feels justified. Being defensive, no matter where it is coming from, will often begin a trajectory of downward spiral in a relationship. 

The way your brain is interpreting what the other person is saying or doing will create a reaction in your body, especially when it is perceived that they are trying to hurt you. When you are aware of your own reactions, and you choose to respond with intention, you begin to have more freedom and less suffering in your life. And your relationships will be much less likely to spiral downward. 

If you have difficult family members, or a difficult situation going on in your family right now, it’s easy to be anxious about what might happen when you all get together. That anxiety overtakes you and your peace during the holidays. 

I’ve used this guide, and the process I walk you through and it has really helped me to feel more in charge of myself and my emotions. I feel more confident in myself and more forgiving of others and myself when I use it. 

This guide will be your holiday lifesaver. 

The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It takes one person to begin changing unhealthy patterns. You can be the one.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

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#163 The Unseen Mental Load of the Holidays

The unseen mental load = all the behind-the-scenes thinking, planning, and worrying that goes into running a household—especially during the holidays.

Most of this unseen mental load falls on the shoulders of women, and this can lead to stress, overwhelm, burn-out, and resentment. It is easy to feel isolated and unappreciated when you are the one taking on the unseen mental load. 

It doesn’t have to be this way. There is a different way to handle the holidays, and this episode will give you 4 things you can focus on instead. 

If you have difficult family members, or a difficult situation going on in your family right now, it’s easy to be anxious about what might happen when you all get together. That anxiety overtake you and your peace during the holidays. 

I’ve used this guide, and the process I walk you through and it has really helped me to feel more in charge of myself and my emotions. I feel more confident in myself and more forgiving of others and myself when I use it. 

This guide will be your holiday lifesaver. 

The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It takes one person to begin changing unhealthy patterns. You can be the one.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Send us a text

#162 – Moving Through Family Conflict, part 2

When you’re in conflict with another person, that’s normal and should be expected. The way you handle that conflict is important and can either damage the relationship or strengthen it. 

This episode goes into the tools of Differentiation and how we can use these tools to navigate conflict while strengthening ourselves and the relationship. 

If you dream of a PEACEFUL holiday season with your family, but someone or something always throws you out of peace and into web of stress, this guide is for you. 

Wouldn't it be nice if everyone would behave just the way you want them to?

It's time to stop wishing for a miracle, and deal with the reality of your family dynamics. 

This guide will be your holiday lifesaver. 

The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It takes one person to begin changing unhealthy patterns. You can be the one.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Send us a text

161- Family Conflict

Conflict doesn’t have to be a dirty word and signify something is wrong with your family. It can be an opportunity to get to know each other better and create stronger bonds in your family. But, for that to happen, you need to know where to begin and what tools to use. This episode will help you to know where to begin. 

Do your holiday family get-togethers get a little (or a lot) dramatic and difficult? If they do, you’re not alone. I’ve created a free pdf guide called: 

The 3-Step Process to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

You can’t change your family members, but you can manage yourself around whatever happens. This guide will help you to feel more in control of your thoughts and emotions no matter what happens. 

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It takes one person to begin changing unhealthy patterns. You can be the one.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Send us a text

#160 – Break Free from Negativity

Our brain is biased towards focusing on negative things. This is hardwired into each of us. If we leave our brain to go on default, we will be on a downward spiral, and that affects everything in our life. 

Be intentional about seeing beyond the negative. The positive things are there, but you have to intentionally direct your brain towards those things. 

Listen to this episode for 3 small things you can do each day that will help you to begin breaking free from the negativity bias of your brain. 

Do your holiday family get-togethers get a little (or a lot) dramatic and difficult? If they do, you’re not alone. I’ve created a free pdf guide called: 

The 3-Step Process to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

You can’t change your family members, but you can manage yourself around whatever happens. This guide will help you to feel more in control of your thoughts and emotions no matter what happens. 

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It takes one person to begin changing unhealthy patterns. You can be the one.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Send us a text

Episode 159 - How to Ride the Waves of Life Without Drowning

We all get caught up in trying to arrange the people and situations in our lives just the way we want them to be so that we can be happy. 

We will find ourselves trying to hold onto things that want and need to change and pushing away difficult situations we don’t want to have. 

The true cycle of life is of expansion and contraction. Things we love come and go. Things we don’t love come and go. If we can learn to not get caught up requiring the circumstances of our life to be a certain way so that we can find happiness, we will have a much more peaceful life.

To help you begin to learn how to get out of the push/pull cycle, I’ve included a meditation in this podcast. 

Meditation: minutes 16:17 – 25:40

Did you enjoy this meditation and want more of these? Email me at [email protected] and give me your feedback. 

Do your holiday family get-togethers get a little (or a lot) dramatic and difficult? If they do, you’re not alone. I’ve created a free pdf guide called: 

The 3-Step Process to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

You can’t change your family members, but you can manage yourself around whatever happens. This guide will help you to feel more in control of your thoughts and emotions no matter what happens. 

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It takes one person to begin changing unhealthy patterns. You can be the one.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Send us a text

Episode 158 What is in your control. What is not in your control. 

It’s very common for us to think that if we do certain things, we can control the way someone else thinks about us. And we think that if we do certain things, we can control their reaction to us. 

Both of these things are not true. We don’t control anyone else’s thoughts, and regardless of what we do, we don’t control how anyone else treats us. 

This episode will outline what is not in your control, what is in your control, and what is in your influence. Listen until the end for a journaling question that will help give you insight into what you are thinking is in your control that actually isn’t. 

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Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It takes one person to begin changing unhealthy patterns. You can be the one.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Send us a text

Episode 157 - Giving Your Full Focus and Attention to Create Connection

Most people do not know how to give someone their full focus and attention. But, as David Augsburger says, “Being listened to is so close to being loved that most people cannot tell the difference."

Our fast-paced, instant gratification culture is shortening our attention spans and making it very difficult for us to know how to truly pay attention to someone or something long enough to create connections that are meaningful. 

If you’re wanting to start giving your family more of your focus and attention, listen to this podcast for where to begin. 

If you need help working on your focus and attention, or any other skill you’re learning about in this podcast, let’s connect. I’ll be releasing a new program to help parents heal the connections in their families later this year and those on my email list will be the first ones to know all the details. I send out emails each week that will help you get a new perspective on old problems. 

Sign up for my email here

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It takes one person to begin changing unhealthy patterns. You can be the one.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Send us a text

Episode 156 – How to Take a Time Out That Really Works

When you get emotionally flooded, that is a signal you need a time out!

This week’s episode outlines Terry Real’s 10 New Rules of Time Out

1.       The time out is a circuit breaker

2.       Take your time out from the “I” position.

3.       Take distance responsibly.

4.       Use the phrase “time out” or gesture the T signal with your hands. 

5.       Don’t let yourself get stopped.

6.       Use check-ins at prescribed intervals.

7.       Remember the goal. 

8.       Return in good faith. 

9.       Have a 24-hour moratorium on the original topic.

10.   Know when, where, and how to get help. 

Get some help from Tina

If you are feeling stuck, not sure how what you’re hearing on this podcast can work in your life and aren’t quite sure how to create that future vision for yourself, let’s talk. I offer a handful of free calls each month and they are snatched up quickly. Set up your free call today so you can feel better about what the future holds for you. 

CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE CALL

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It takes one person to begin changing unhealthy patterns. You can be the one.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information

Send us a text

Episode 155 - Respond to Your Family Members Intentionally, Don’t React from Automatic Programming

Everyone is capable of learning to control their reactions to other people and situations. No one needs to take on the identity of a person who can’t control themselves. Learning to manage your own responses to the world is a skill you can learn just like any other skill. It takes consistent effort over time. Learning to manage your own responses to others is your responsibility, not anyone else’s. 

Get Bite-sized help in your inbox each week:

Click here to subscribe to Healing Connections - weekly emails from family relationship coach, Tina Gosney

Get some help from Tina

If you are feeling stuck, not sure how what you’re hearing on this podcast can work in your life and aren’t quite sure how to create that future vision for yourself, let’s talk. I offer a handful of free calls each month and they are snatched up quickly. Set up your free call today so you can feel better about what the future holds for you. 

CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE CALL

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She helps her clients move past contention in their homes and move into connection. It takes one person to begin changing unhealthy patterns. You can be the one.

Tina is a positivity practitioner and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information