Your Secret Is Safe With Me

If you've ever been the "other person" in an affair, you're probably familiar with how challenging that role can be. And, it can feel even more complicated when being the "other person" turns into a pattern. So, if you've found yourself in this position repeatedly and it's not fulfilling your desires, what can you do to change your situation?

According to Dr. Marie Murphy, sometimes being the "other person" can feel like a tragic curse that you can't shake. However, if you want things to be different, only you have the power to change your circumstances. Today, Dr. Murphy is here to share her expertise so you can stop feeling stuck and start building the life and forming the relationships you actually want.

In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy discusses why some people habitually find themselves in the role of the "other person" in an affair. Listen in as Dr. Murphy explains why your personal narrative could be preventing you from getting what you want and how you can break the patterns that aren't serving you. Plus, Dr. Murphy shares three questions that can help you better understand your behavior. Stay tuned!

Relationships can be tricky to navigate under normal circumstances, but if your partner struggles with addiction, you'll likely find yourself faced with additional challenges. Society's biases toward addiction can make it difficult to talk about — especially if the only advice people give is that you should leave. But, if you're not ready to end your relationship, how can you improve your situation and let go of the guilt and shame of staying in a difficult partnership?

Certified Life Coach Karilyn Ivers says that many of her clients initially come to her hoping that she can "fix" their partners, but relationships and addiction don't work that way. If you want to improve your circumstances, it's not about changing the other person — it's about changing yourself. After all, you can't control the world around you, but you can alter how you respond to it. If you want to feel less guilt, shame, and worry, Karilyn has some tips for learning to process your emotions and set better boundaries in your relationship.

In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Certified Life Coach Karilyn Ivers joins Dr. Marie Murphy to discuss how you can create your own happiness, listen to your intuition, and trust yourself — regardless of the difficulties in your relationship. Karilyn describes how addiction impacts relationships and explains why blaming, adopting a victim storyline, and attaching yourself to an outcome might end up doing more harm than good. Stay tuned!

Being the "other person" in an affair can be exciting, but it also comes with its own unique challenges. You may sometimes feel like you're stuck or powerless in your situation. And, because of the taboo nature of the relationship, you might not have anyone to talk to about your feelings besides your affair partner. So, how can you figure out what you really want from your relationship and start changing your circumstances today?

According to Dr. Marie Murphy, you have more power over your situation than you think. However, you need to get clear about your feelings and desires in order to access that power. While simply wishing for things to change won't help, there are techniques that you can use to navigate your relationship and make choices that will serve your best interests.

In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about the experience of being the "other person" in someone else's affair. Dr. Murphy describes the various challenges that the "other person" typically faces, the importance of getting clear on how you feel without judging yourself, and the tried-and-true strategies for regaining your power. Stay tuned!

How does the way you think affect your sex life? What causes the excitement of a new relationship to fade? And, can changing your mindset create more pleasure in your relationship and life?

According to pleasure expert Danielle Savory, you can transform the way you experience your relationship simply by changing how you think. As she says, people in long-term relationships often unintentionally eliminate the things that create desire and make the relationship exciting — but it doesn't have to be that way. By understanding yourself and your expectations more clearly, you can break out of old patterns and invite connection and passion back into your life.

In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks with Danielle Savory, a Certified Life Coach and pleasure expert, about how your mindset can affect your relationships and love life. Danielle explains how the stories you tell yourself influence your sex life, the importance of evaluating your expectations in a long-term relationship, and why understanding your brain may be the first step in the healing process. Stay tuned.

If you aren't getting what you want out of your relationship, what can you do to make a change? Couples therapy is one option, but it doesn't always work for every relationship. Fortunately, there are other ways of improving your relationship and satisfying your individual needs.

According to Dr. Marie Murphy, there is no simple, one-size-fits-all solution — and no one but you can tell you what you need. As she says, you'll have to decide for yourself what's truly right for you. However, there are techniques that can help you identify your wants and desires and learn the real motives behind them. With this clarity, you can start prioritizing your own needs and gain insight into how you should move forward in your relationship.

In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy shares her expert strategies for clarifying what you want from a romantic relationship. As she says, knowing your individual needs and desires can help you improve your relationship with your partner and yourself — and positively impact your future relationships, as well. So, grab a pen and a sheet of paper, and get ready to follow Dr. Murphy through her valuable coaching exercises.

When everyday life is chaotic, difficult, or unfulfilling, affairs can offer an escape from reality. However, the deception of an affair isn't always limited to the lies we tell others — trying to escape reality can also be a way of deceiving ourselves.

According to author Gina Frangello, nothing is really an escape. She understands how, at first, leading a double life can feel exciting and intoxicating. But, while it may initially seem like a neat compartmentalized part of your life, your affair will eventually overlap with your other relationships and challenges. Once this happens, Gina suggests that the best way forward is finding a way to face your fears, accept yourself for who you are, and make the necessary changes to live a happier, healthier life.

In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy sits down with author Gina Frangello to talk about her new memoir, Blow Your House Down. Together, they discuss why infidelity often overshadows all other aspects of a relationship, the discrimination middle-aged women face in today's society, and how fear can prevent you from putting your well-being first. Plus, Gina explains why it's so important to find a way of accepting yourself for who you are. Stay tuned.

Heartbreak can be devastating. And, it's not just the loss of the relationship itself that is so painful — there are also messy feelings involved with the practicalities of untangling your life from someone else's. So how do you move forward in a healthy way? Is there a technique for transforming your pain into something better?

According to Breakup Coach Dorothy Johnson, you can turn your pain into power with the right tools and perspectives. As she says, your internal beliefs are much stronger than your external circumstances. So, if you believe that things are going to improve, you have the power to change your situation and create a healthier and happier future for yourself.

In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy sits down with Breakup Coach Dorothy Johnson to talk about heartbreak and healing. Together, they explore the difference between attachment and commitment, the logistical and financial aspects of recovering from a breakup, and how to begin the healing process. Plus, Dorothy discusses co-parenting and why the no-contact rule isn't the answer for everyone. Stay tuned!

Unfortunately, sexuality and shame frequently go hand-in-hand, and religion's messages about sex may be partially to blame. Even if you aren't religious, you can still be affected by the messages that have seeped into society — such as the ideas that masturbation is bad or pleasure is wrong. So, how can you overcome these problematic frameworks and rewire your relationship to sex?

As a Sexual-Spiritual Advisor, Melissa Hite helps her clients reframe their sexual response cycles and embrace their natural sexuality. As she says, you can't suppress sexual energy; it's a part of who you are. But, religious messages can cause this energy to become distorted and lead to harmful feelings like shame. Fortunately, Melissa has some strategies for rewiring the beliefs and patterns that are causing you harm.

In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks with Melissa Hite, the Founder and Sexual-Spiritual Advisor at Higher Sex Education, about the intersection of religion, sexuality, shame, and healing. Melissa explains the complicated problems that can arise from religious messages about sex and shares her tips for reframing your beliefs and embracing your natural sexuality. Plus, Melissa discusses her 12-week course about mastering boundaries. Stay tuned!

Wanting relief from uncomfortable feelings doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. In fact, it's a natural, human response. However, it's important to determine whether you're actually dealing with your discomfort or simply avoiding it.

As Dr. Marie Murphy says, the short-term satisfaction you find through avoiding uncomfortable feelings is typically outweighed by long-term consequences. But, many people aren't taught how to deal with discomfort in a constructive way. That's where Dr. Murphy comes in. She has the tools and strategies you need to increase your capacity to tolerate discomfort without numbing your feelings or looking for a distraction, such as an affair. With her help, you can gain more control over your decisions and improve the relationships you have with others and yourself.

In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy discusses the complicated relationship between discomfort, drama, and infidelity. Dr. Murphy explores the various ways people respond to discomfort, the consequences of avoiding your feelings, and the appeal of drama and infidelity as a form of distraction. Plus, Dr. Murphy shares some helpful questions you can ask yourself if you're currently having an affair. Stay tuned!

What does it mean to have good sex? Has science uncovered the truth about what feeds desire? And, is there a way to redefine your understanding of sexuality and rekindle a positive sexual relationship with your partner?

According to Dr. Barry McCarthy, sexuality consists of three components: intimacy, pleasure, and eroticism. For a healthy sexual relationship to exist, those components need to be balanced and approached with realistic expectations. So, how can you start having better sex today? Dr. McCarthy suggests that instead of viewing sex as a pass or fail experience, couples should work on finding their own unique sexual style — one that feels good for everyone involved.

In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Barry McCarthy joins Dr. Marie Murphy to talk about what "good enough sex" actually means. Dr. McCarthy reveals some surprising statistics about sex and relationships and explains how shifting your perspective can awaken a happier and healthier sexual relationship. He also shares his advice for rekindling desire with your partner. Stay tuned!