Absolutely Not

By Dear Media

What's Absolutely Not about?

"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic discussion or call in the Hotline or should we say "Absolutely NOT-Line" with your life complaints. We will discuss it all. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments.

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LAST EPISODE

Jennifer Lawrence: She's Go...

10.21.2020

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews a true acting icon and apparently the podcast's biggest fan, Jennifer Lawrence. Yes, you read that right, JLAW. The two discuss life in the biz, Heather's lack of winning awards, ...

Absolutely Not episodes:

10.21.2020 Jennifer Lawrence: She's Got An Oscar, I've Got Sciatica On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews a true acting icon and apparently the podcast's biggest fan, Jennifer Lawrence. Yes, you read that right, JLAW. The two discuss life in the biz, Heather's lack of winning awards, ...
10.15.2020 CANADIAN SK8R BOI On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is in her last week of Canada Glory. She has become a local, eating the fish, wearing the beanies and blasting Avril Lavigne at the top of her lungs. She is ...
10.07.2020 Doing Zoomies in Europe On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is revved up after a wild tweet that sent her into a tailspin of laughter, confusion and sadness. She is also recapping her favorite new "escape show" Emily in Paris, which ...
09.30.2020 ADD IT TO THE LIST, MIKE On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather uncovers some uncomfortable truths about herself and gives you a full rundown of her last week locked up. She's made a list and she's checking it twice of all the shit ...
09.23.2020 GO FUND ME FROM CANADA Heather is on the brink of a full blown meltdown coming to ya live from a new state-sanctioned Quarantine north of the border in Canada. She's in town for work and they legit sent her to her room and threw ...
09.16.2020 IM A SALESGUY On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather's dear friend, Andrew Collin, is here to bitch and swindle his way back into our hearts. He's still single and apparently getting "ripped" in quarantine.... not drunk, like in shape... again ...
09.15.2020 ALL THINGS VANDERPUMP IS AVAILABLE NOW! Join entrepreneur, philanthropist and celebrity host Lisa Vanderpump at Villa Rosa, where she spills the "English Tea” about today's hottest topics with a new guest every week! Listen today at https://link.chtbl.com/LVP
09.09.2020 STUCK UNDER THE TRUNDLE-BED TRISH On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather has hit her September shit show wall and is literally stuck under a trundle-bed of emotion. She is pulling out ALL OF THE FEELINGS from 2020 into one solid cathartic shitshow ...
09.02.2020 THE GA LAW LADY, ASHLEY MCMAHAN "GIVE ME A SIDE OF MAC SAUCE" On this episode of the absolutely not podcast, Heather is chatting with her ball busting, criminal defense attorney, big sis, Ashley. Also known as the Georgia Law Lady, she helps Heather break down some of y'alls most intense Voice Mails ...
08.26.2020 An Expert, An Asshole, An Alcoholic with Kate Kennedy of the Be There In Five Podcast On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather interviews Kate Kennedy of the "Be There in Five" podcast. It's their one-year anniversary since they met and now everything is coming full circle with these two ding dongs. They discuss ...
08.19.2020 Sandy Vag But Delta Diamond On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather breaks down her trip to Florida and is coming in guns hot after Robin Hijacks the episode. She hits the hotline and lemme tell you what, y'all are bitching more than ...
08.12.2020 RAZZLE DAZZLE ME, RICK! On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather catches you up to speed on her Hollywood ventures, buying a car from the Patriarchy and taking your Voicemails. We are getting dumber as the year goes on and it's very ...
08.05.2020 I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from her hippie trip to Asheville North Carolina, where she experienced Satan at work. Between the Dog fights, Spiritual reads, and kids falling in manholes, it was a wild, ...
07.29.2020 THE MAYOR OF NANTUCKET with Raymond Padilla On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather has her friend Big Daddy Raymond Padilla in town, fresh off his high horse from his luxury villa in Nantucket. He has decided to run for mayor, in a town he ...
07.22.2020 Do You Wanna Be My Surrogate? On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather has her hilarious and ball-busting sister, Ashley, also known as the Georgia Law Lady in the studio. They discuss their fucked up genes, what it was like growing up with Robin ...
07.15.2020 Dumb and Dumber On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather answers your pressing questions, like "Should my baby have their own instagram account", "Do you watch military return videos?" " Are you a swinger", and "Would you wear a penis sash ...
07.08.2020 WORK HARD PLAY HARDER On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is anxious and over caffeinated but doing her best to hold on to the future. The Voicemails this week are dumber than ever, but it doesn't stop Heather from losing her ...
07.01.2020 Tiny Urethra on the Broadway Heather is back in the studio, aka her Mom's "Office" with her Tour Producer, Chris Ketner. Since they can't be on the road together touring the world, the convo has taken a wild turn to REAL TALK TOWN. The discuss ...
06.24.2020 Blame the SnowBirds On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather takes a few calls from the new Hot spot of Florida and tries to figure out what the hell is going on. Were not even halfway through the year, and yet ...
06.17.2020 Be the You Today, You Wanna Be Tomorrow On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather hops back on the VoiceMails and legit LOL's till the cows come home. Y'all have taken it to another level. She discusses the chaos of living in construction, her concern for ...
06.10.2020 Let's Go Girls On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather takes a moment to pause and very bluntly let everyone know that if you are a racist, the unfollow button is easy. Bye Bye,Sir. We will not put up with that ...
05.27.2020 Robin Goes to Greece On this episode of the absolutely not podcast Heather shares the psychological torture she endures everyday living with Diva Red in lockup. These two are in the words of MegtheStallion “savage, classy, bougie, ratchet”. This is just the tip of ...
05.20.2020 WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON On this solo episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is falling apart at the thin ankles, literally. With a burnt taint, a rolled ankle and nothing to do, she has hit a new LEVEL OF NOPE. She cant even ...
05.13.2020 Burnt My Grundle On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather relives her emotional journey after having hot coffee spilled on her vagina in the Starbucks Drive-Thru. The Grundle is crispy, the attitude is sassy and for some reason she is super ...
05.06.2020 A Little Bit of CRAZY! On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather decides to flip the script on Love and find out whats been happening to her single friends during LOVE, LOCKED UP RAW! Just because we are in quarantine doesn't mean people ...
04.29.2020 I Hate Everyone with Jackie Schimmel of The Bitch Bible Podcast On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather has dear friend and fellow shit talker extraordinaire, Jackie Schimmel in the studio. They both look as equally hideous on zoom as they do in person, so no surprise there. The ...
04.22.2020 AND THATS ON GOD On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is sweating from the leather couch in her Mom's basement and has a whole lot of attitude. She is hitting the hotline hard and taking your calls from quarantine. Since we ...
04.15.2020 Pia Baroncini - Thriving in Pasadena On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather interviews her sister from another mister, Fashion Icon and fellow podcast host, Pia Baroncini. These two have eerily similar lives that have led them both to marrying Italians and moving back ...
04.08.2020 Here Come The Facts with Ashley McMahan On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather is joined by the Georgia Law Lady herself, Ashley McMahan. They may be sisters.... more of a Kourtney and Khloe kinda relationship if you will. Two McMahan's in one room is always a ...
04.01.2020 NEVER BLAME THE SWEET TEA with Andrew Collin On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with her fra-t daddy- ding -dong comedian friend, Andrew Collin. He's been on the podcast before and now that he has been cooped up in his Brooklyn Apartment he's extra ...
03.26.2020 Your Body My Choice with Jeff Daniels AKA The Italian Stallion On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits in quarantine with her Italian Stallion, Jeff Daniels. Since every single thing he is doing has been driving her up a fucking Ficus tree, she figured it would be a ...
03.18.2020 Locked Up Raw On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is coming to ya LIVE! from Atlanta, Georgia. She took the Oregon Trail to escape NYC in this wild time were living in and realized after all is said and done, ...
03.12.2020 A Weho Eviction Story with Raymond Padilla On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Raymond Padilla, Heather's half Chinese, half Mexican, but 100% full of shit bff, is back again to break down his most recent trials and tribulations, his pending apartment eviction. After being accosted ...
03.04.2020 Meet me at the Beverly Center On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is fired up hotter than a her Irish skin on the Fourth of July. She calls out some haters and challenges them to a duel.... at the Beverly center! It’s a ...
02.26.2020 Hydration Station Situation On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh off a 3 day gal-a-palooza girls tip to Minneapolis where she was promptly roofied & witnessed a shoot out. The Midwest is a crazy place where you should never ...
02.19.2020 Cartier Bamboozlement On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back in the studio, fresh from Asia and answering your phone calls and hot fire voicemails. Things take a turn for the best when she calls back a feisty fan ...
02.12.2020 A SONG AND A SCHLONG On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with her very own Gayle King, Raymond Padilla. He is coming In "guns hot" as the kids say, sassier than ever. They catch up on life and take your ...
02.05.2020 BONEMARROW BITCH On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is back from Asia, feeling like a piece of pickled kimchi with the Jet-lag and soy bloat but ready to take on the week! She gives you a full cultural recap ...
01.29.2020 ASIA WEIGH IN On this weeks episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is still on the road with her bff and travel buddy, Chris Ketner. They have one more week in Asia and while they recap their travels they also hop on ...
01.23.2020 BIGGEST LOSER, ASIA EDITION On this episode of The Absolutely Not podcast, Heather gives you live and in the moment updates from her trip with Tony award winning producer and bestie, Chris Ketner. When Chris isn't on the road hold Heather's hair back on ...
01.15.2020 A Little Sancerre & DMT On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with her T.V. business buddy and fellow creator, Jen Zaborowski. This episode is a rare-BTS look at a project they've had in thr works but are too afraid to discuss ...
01.08.2020 It Can Only Go Up From Flavor-Town On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh off her Mexican vacay with a strong case of diarrhea & more sass than ever. After being completely bamboozled by Guy Fieri at the Cancun Airport, witnessing a full ...
12.25.2019 Dry Heat On this Episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather tackles the most complicated and bitchy Voice Mails yet. We wrap up the year with gratitude and lots of grundle sweat coming to ya live from Hot Phoenix Arizona! It has ...
12.18.2019 SHRED THE GNAR BRAH with Becky Robinson On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather sits down with fellow comedian, Becky Robinson. She is a true ding-dong goof ball in every sense of the word and were are HERE FOR THIS LEVEL OF STUPIDITY. The girls ...
12.11.2019 WELLNESS UPDATE; SHE'S BUSTING OUT OF JACKSONVILLE On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is fresh off the 10th leg of the Farewell Tour and sits down with dietitian and health guru Sammy Previte, who is truly trying to make sure Heather survives Road life! ...
12.04.2019 WE GOT A P2P PROBLEM On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather has had it up to her flawless eyebrows with idiots this holiday season. It is truly hard to remain calm when you're trying to do the Lord's work but haters wanna hate...... and ...
11.27.2019 Safety First Leslie On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather takes a moment to really breakdown what she is grateful for..... and then of course gets right back to bitching. It's been a wild ride on the road hitting 8 new ...
11.20.2019 The Broadway Gospel Featuring Chris Ketner On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with her bestie and Farewell Tour Producer, Chris Ketner to talk about surviving on the road. Chris is a tony award winning producer who now has to shove "pepto" ...
11.14.2019 HIRED BUT TIRED - Heather McMahan and guest, Jeff Daniels On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is fresh off her Italy tour and quite honestly, NOT WELL. She is gearing up for the next two weeks on the road and got ahold of some of the Devil's ...
11.06.2019 Pi Kappa Pasta On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is coming at ya live from Fonté de Medici out in the sweet rolling hills of Chianti, baby. She is running an entire sorority out of a medieval castle in Tuscany ...

Older episodes

Absolutely Not

What's Absolutely Not about?

Download our free app to listen on your phone

Absolutely Not episodes:

Jennifer Lawrence: She's Got An Oscar, I've Got Sciatica

CANADIAN SK8R BOI

Doing Zoomies in Europe

ADD IT TO THE LIST, MIKE

GO FUND ME FROM CANADA

IM A SALESGUY

ALL THINGS VANDERPUMP IS AVAILABLE NOW!

STUCK UNDER THE TRUNDLE-BED TRISH

THE GA LAW LADY, ASHLEY MCMAHAN "GIVE ME A SIDE OF MAC SAUCE"

An Expert, An Asshole, An Alcoholic with Kate Kennedy of the Be There In Five Podcast

Sandy Vag But Delta Diamond

RAZZLE DAZZLE ME, RICK!

I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING

THE MAYOR OF NANTUCKET with Raymond Padilla

Do You Wanna Be My Surrogate?

Dumb and Dumber

WORK HARD PLAY HARDER

Tiny Urethra on the Broadway

Blame the SnowBirds

Be the You Today, You Wanna Be Tomorrow

Let's Go Girls

Robin Goes to Greece

WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON

Burnt My Grundle

A Little Bit of CRAZY!

I Hate Everyone with Jackie Schimmel of The Bitch Bible Podcast

AND THATS ON GOD

Pia Baroncini - Thriving in Pasadena

Here Come The Facts with Ashley McMahan

NEVER BLAME THE SWEET TEA with Andrew Collin

Your Body My Choice with Jeff Daniels AKA The Italian Stallion

Locked Up Raw

A Weho Eviction Story with Raymond Padilla

Meet me at the Beverly Center

Hydration Station Situation

Cartier Bamboozlement

A SONG AND A SCHLONG

BONEMARROW BITCH

ASIA WEIGH IN

BIGGEST LOSER, ASIA EDITION

A Little Sancerre & DMT

It Can Only Go Up From Flavor-Town

Dry Heat

SHRED THE GNAR BRAH with Becky Robinson

WELLNESS UPDATE; SHE'S BUSTING OUT OF JACKSONVILLE

WE GOT A P2P PROBLEM

Safety First Leslie

The Broadway Gospel Featuring Chris Ketner

HIRED BUT TIRED - Heather McMahan and guest, Jeff Daniels

Pi Kappa Pasta

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