Absolutely Not

By Dear Media

What's Absolutely Not about?

"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic discussion or call in the Hotline or should we say "Absolutely NOT-Line" with your life complaints. We will discuss it all. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments.

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LAST EPISODE

Pack of Skanks

04.21.2021

On this episode of the absolutely not podcast, Heather is talking about civilian chemistry and mixed signals from her stallion. She is spiraling from the human growth hormone and trying to understand why everyone is being the worst and why ...

Absolutely Not episodes:

04.21.2021 Pack of Skanks On this episode of the absolutely not podcast, Heather is talking about civilian chemistry and mixed signals from her stallion. She is spiraling from the human growth hormone and trying to understand why everyone is being the worst and why ...
04.15.2021 Pu$$Y Poppin On this episode Heather breaks down one of her most embarrassing moments from this past weekend at the airport and explains why no one knows how to behave themselves. We're all wildly socially awkward and no one knows how to ...
04.07.2021 Raymond Padilla Wellness Check Heather catches up with friend and OG podcast guest Raymond Padilla! They discuss Ray's recent move to New York (spoiler: its been a bumpy ride) and how he is living his "gay ass truth". Head over to WOO More Play ...
03.31.2021 Take That Trish! On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather claps back at herself bc the hormones are making her feel like a genetically modified chicken tender with a side of sassy dont-give-a-F#ck ranch. She takes your voicemails and realizes y'all ...
03.24.2021 Pregnant Pirates Meet Olivia Benson On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather Breaks down her recent surprise in the Turks and all the trouble she stirred up in Charleston. There was leather, edibles, bootcut jeans and lots of questions. She also hits the ...
03.17.2021 Hollywood Tower of Terror On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with herself in a downward spiral about this dumbest shit ever, per usual. It's her birthday and she is reporting live from the Turks and Caicos. RIGHT BY THE BEACH ...
03.10.2021 Spilling the English Breakfast Tea Heather's long time friend and fellow thespian extraordinaire, Tina T, is in town and the ladies are spilling the literal HIGH TEA on their weekend debauchery and breaking down the riveting Oprah interview. Heather is wildly concerned the Monarchy is ...
03.03.2021 ET, TU BRUTE? On this episode of the absolutely not podcast Heather is stepping in her pisces self-loathing season and realizing her physical well being is important but also almost impossible to keep up with. Her pants are tight, her skin is dry ...
02.24.2021 Sisterhood of the Traveling Wind Breaker On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather checks in on her friends down in the hill country and has some major Absolutely Nots. She isn’t fucking around with weather shaming, COVID shaming or grandma shaming. ITS ENOUGH. She's ...
02.17.2021 Shout Out To Maurice with Jeff Daniels AKA The Italian Stallion On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews her husband, Jeff Daniels on all things love and marriage. It's Valentine's week and who better to answer your relationship questions than Tony Soprano himself. Receive 20% off PLUS Free ...
02.10.2021 Reach for the Stars On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is about to lose her shit with EVERYONE and clearly y'all are on the same wavelength. The voicemail line is buzzing with bullshit and Heather is here to help you wade ...
02.03.2021 LEFT BEHIND On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather Breaks down what's been happening these past two weeks. It's a RAW AND REAL episode full of zero medical advice, lots of sweating and saying the F* word as many times ...
01.27.2021 Wellness Check: How YOU doin?! Ask and you shall receive! This week, Heather is responding to YOUR voicemails on the Absolutely Not Line. Buckle up, hunker down and get ready to laugh your tush off! Check out Olipop and get 20% off PLUS Free Shipping ...
01.20.2021 Half Owl with Ashley McMahan On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is chatting with her sister, the GA Law Lady about vax'n their mom, basic childhood trauma and finding their inner animal. Ashley is pissed her episode got basically erased last time ...
01.13.2021 EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather spins her New Years Wheels straight to crazy town. She has no fucking idea what is happening in the world and is trying to give you sage advice even though her ...
01.06.2021 Supply and Demand with Benito Skinner AKA @bennydrama7 On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast Heather sits down with her favorite comedian and BFF Benny Drama to discuss their major glow-ups. Benny is the king of impressions and he gives Heather the in's and outs of who ...
12.30.2020 Winslet Wellness Check On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is majorly concerned with Kate Winslet's wellbeing and whereabouts. She answers your insane End of the Year Voicemails and has a slight bit of optimism for the new year... just a ...
12.23.2020 Health, Wellness and Botox with Arielle Lorre Heather is joined by Arielle Lorre, host of The Blonde Files Podcast to talk all things self care, motivation, wellness and how she overcame personal challenges to get to where she is today. She is also a plastic surgery and ...
12.16.2020 Funeral Arrangements with Jackie Schimmel On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews dear friend, host of The Bitch Bible Podcast and CYA next Tuesday companion, Jackie Schimmel. And trust and believe they are throwing everyone under the bus. They have no time ...
12.09.2020 Fried Fridays and Online Dating with guest, Elizabeth Howard Heather Sits down with one of her oldest and dearest Delta Gamma sisters, Elizabeth Howard, to discuss the trials and tribulations of online dating with her single sister. SHE IS APPALLED and shocked to find out that men will message ...
12.02.2020 Calories Don't Count, RICK On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather breaks down the age old question.... "Why exactly does Jeff sleep with tape on his mouth AND still works in New York?" We survived Thanksgiving by the skin on our Turkey ...
11.25.2020 Has Anyone Seen My Tooth? with Guest Casey Balsham On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews fellow comedian, Casey Balsham of the SHADY SHIT podcast! Casey is literally looking for her loose tooth while bitching about what a fucking whirlwind of a year its been. From ...
11.18.2020 OASIS GOODTIME EMPORIUM On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is sweating through her shirt dealing with one technological meltdown after another. Sis can't catch a break! I mean what are we even doing anymore? It's almost Thanksgiving, which means everything ...
11.11.2020 HEART HEALTHY with guest Christopher Ketner On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with her friend, Christopher Ketner on some raw dog topics of how their bullshit threshold is at an all time low. America has spoken and the wild DM's have begun. ...
11.04.2020 TWO DICKS TOO MANY On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather shares a cool comedy experience that is literally giving her a will to live. There is a light at the end of this 2020 tunnel, even if it means we will ...
10.28.2020 Keeping Up with the McMahan's Heather sits down with Big Red and the Georgia Law Lady, also known as her mom and sister for a deep dive into internet scammers and the hot mess that is 2020. As usual, Robin is serving all the sass ...
10.21.2020 Jennifer Lawrence: She's Got An Oscar, I've Got Sciatica On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews a true acting icon and apparently the podcast's biggest fan, Jennifer Lawrence. Yes, you read that right, JLAW. The two discuss life in the biz, Heather's lack of winning awards, ...
10.15.2020 CANADIAN SK8R BOI On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is in her last week of Canada Glory. She has become a local, eating the fish, wearing the beanies and blasting Avril Lavigne at the top of her lungs. She is ...
10.07.2020 Doing Zoomies in Europe On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is revved up after a wild tweet that sent her into a tailspin of laughter, confusion and sadness. She is also recapping her favorite new "escape show" Emily in Paris, which ...
09.30.2020 ADD IT TO THE LIST, MIKE On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather uncovers some uncomfortable truths about herself and gives you a full rundown of her last week locked up. She's made a list and she's checking it twice of all the shit ...
09.23.2020 GO FUND ME FROM CANADA Heather is on the brink of a full blown meltdown coming to ya live from a new state-sanctioned Quarantine north of the border in Canada. She's in town for work and they legit sent her to her room and threw ...
09.16.2020 IM A SALESGUY On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather's dear friend, Andrew Collin, is here to bitch and swindle his way back into our hearts. He's still single and apparently getting "ripped" in quarantine.... not drunk, like in shape... again ...
09.15.2020 ALL THINGS VANDERPUMP IS AVAILABLE NOW! Join entrepreneur, philanthropist and celebrity host Lisa Vanderpump at Villa Rosa, where she spills the "English Tea” about today's hottest topics with a new guest every week! Listen today at https://link.chtbl.com/LVP
09.09.2020 STUCK UNDER THE TRUNDLE-BED TRISH On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather has hit her September shit show wall and is literally stuck under a trundle-bed of emotion. She is pulling out ALL OF THE FEELINGS from 2020 into one solid cathartic shitshow ...
09.02.2020 THE GA LAW LADY, ASHLEY MCMAHAN "GIVE ME A SIDE OF MAC SAUCE" On this episode of the absolutely not podcast, Heather is chatting with her ball busting, criminal defense attorney, big sis, Ashley. Also known as the Georgia Law Lady, she helps Heather break down some of y'alls most intense Voice Mails ...
08.26.2020 An Expert, An Asshole, An Alcoholic with Kate Kennedy of the Be There In Five Podcast On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather interviews Kate Kennedy of the "Be There in Five" podcast. It's their one-year anniversary since they met and now everything is coming full circle with these two ding dongs. They discuss ...
08.19.2020 Sandy Vag But Delta Diamond On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather breaks down her trip to Florida and is coming in guns hot after Robin Hijacks the episode. She hits the hotline and lemme tell you what, y'all are bitching more than ...
08.12.2020 RAZZLE DAZZLE ME, RICK! On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather catches you up to speed on her Hollywood ventures, buying a car from the Patriarchy and taking your Voicemails. We are getting dumber as the year goes on and it's very ...
08.05.2020 I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from her hippie trip to Asheville North Carolina, where she experienced Satan at work. Between the Dog fights, Spiritual reads, and kids falling in manholes, it was a wild, ...
07.29.2020 THE MAYOR OF NANTUCKET with Raymond Padilla On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather has her friend Big Daddy Raymond Padilla in town, fresh off his high horse from his luxury villa in Nantucket. He has decided to run for mayor, in a town he ...
07.22.2020 Do You Wanna Be My Surrogate? On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather has her hilarious and ball-busting sister, Ashley, also known as the Georgia Law Lady in the studio. They discuss their fucked up genes, what it was like growing up with Robin ...
07.15.2020 Dumb and Dumber On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather answers your pressing questions, like "Should my baby have their own instagram account", "Do you watch military return videos?" " Are you a swinger", and "Would you wear a penis sash ...
07.08.2020 WORK HARD PLAY HARDER On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is anxious and over caffeinated but doing her best to hold on to the future. The Voicemails this week are dumber than ever, but it doesn't stop Heather from losing her ...
07.01.2020 Tiny Urethra on the Broadway Heather is back in the studio, aka her Mom's "Office" with her Tour Producer, Chris Ketner. Since they can't be on the road together touring the world, the convo has taken a wild turn to REAL TALK TOWN. The discuss ...
06.24.2020 Blame the SnowBirds On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather takes a few calls from the new Hot spot of Florida and tries to figure out what the hell is going on. Were not even halfway through the year, and yet ...
06.17.2020 Be the You Today, You Wanna Be Tomorrow On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather hops back on the VoiceMails and legit LOL's till the cows come home. Y'all have taken it to another level. She discusses the chaos of living in construction, her concern for ...
06.10.2020 Let's Go Girls On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather takes a moment to pause and very bluntly let everyone know that if you are a racist, the unfollow button is easy. Bye Bye,Sir. We will not put up with that ...
05.27.2020 Robin Goes to Greece On this episode of the absolutely not podcast Heather shares the psychological torture she endures everyday living with Diva Red in lockup. These two are in the words of MegtheStallion “savage, classy, bougie, ratchet”. This is just the tip of ...
05.20.2020 WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON On this solo episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is falling apart at the thin ankles, literally. With a burnt taint, a rolled ankle and nothing to do, she has hit a new LEVEL OF NOPE. She cant even ...
05.13.2020 Burnt My Grundle On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather relives her emotional journey after having hot coffee spilled on her vagina in the Starbucks Drive-Thru. The Grundle is crispy, the attitude is sassy and for some reason she is super ...

Older episodes

Absolutely Not

What's Absolutely Not about?

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Absolutely Not episodes:

Pack of Skanks

Pu$$Y Poppin

Raymond Padilla Wellness Check

Take That Trish!

Pregnant Pirates Meet Olivia Benson

Hollywood Tower of Terror

Spilling the English Breakfast Tea

ET, TU BRUTE?

Sisterhood of the Traveling Wind Breaker

Shout Out To Maurice with Jeff Daniels AKA The Italian Stallion

Reach for the Stars

LEFT BEHIND

Wellness Check: How YOU doin?!

Half Owl with Ashley McMahan

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

Supply and Demand with Benito Skinner AKA @bennydrama7

Winslet Wellness Check

Health, Wellness and Botox with Arielle Lorre

Funeral Arrangements with Jackie Schimmel

Fried Fridays and Online Dating with guest, Elizabeth Howard

Calories Don't Count, RICK

Has Anyone Seen My Tooth? with Guest Casey Balsham

OASIS GOODTIME EMPORIUM

HEART HEALTHY with guest Christopher Ketner

TWO DICKS TOO MANY

Keeping Up with the McMahan's

Jennifer Lawrence: She's Got An Oscar, I've Got Sciatica

CANADIAN SK8R BOI

Doing Zoomies in Europe

ADD IT TO THE LIST, MIKE

GO FUND ME FROM CANADA

IM A SALESGUY

ALL THINGS VANDERPUMP IS AVAILABLE NOW!

STUCK UNDER THE TRUNDLE-BED TRISH

THE GA LAW LADY, ASHLEY MCMAHAN "GIVE ME A SIDE OF MAC SAUCE"

An Expert, An Asshole, An Alcoholic with Kate Kennedy of the Be There In Five Podcast

Sandy Vag But Delta Diamond

RAZZLE DAZZLE ME, RICK!

I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING

THE MAYOR OF NANTUCKET with Raymond Padilla

Do You Wanna Be My Surrogate?

Dumb and Dumber

WORK HARD PLAY HARDER

Tiny Urethra on the Broadway

Blame the SnowBirds

Be the You Today, You Wanna Be Tomorrow

Let's Go Girls

Robin Goes to Greece

WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON

Burnt My Grundle

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