Come Together with Erin + Abe Lichy

We've been wanting to have Dr. Shefali on for a while, and this conversation did not disappoint. She's a clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and one of the most clear-eyed people we've heard talk about what's actually happening to this generation of kids — and what parents can do about it.

We get into the crisis of masculinity and why boys are being pathologized for being boys, the war on girls' authenticity, and why the algorithm is essentially raising our children whether we like it or not. She also gets into conscious parenting, the difference between controlling your kid and connecting with them, and why boredom is one of the greatest gifts you can give a child right now.

There's a moment in here where she says, "Wake the f up." She means it. So do we.

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We've been getting real estate questions forever, so here it is — the full story, from the 670K railroad-adjacent apartment in Hell's Kitchen to the Bushwick two-family we bought off a construction frame, to the Hamptons house nobody wanted because grandma had wallpapered every single room.

We walk through every flip, every 1031 exchange, every moment we almost overcomplicated it, and what we actually learned. The big takeaway: stop buying real estate for yourself. Buy it for the market you're eventually selling to.

We also get into why renting your city apartment is not the flex people think it is, why a dump with good bones will always beat a pretty property with bad ones, and what we just picked up upstate — four acres on a creek for reasons that will make sense once we explain it.

None of this is legal or tax advice. But it is everything we know.

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Special Edition: We're recording this one from Baha Mar, which sounds glamorous until you factor in four kids, an early flight, a sleepover the night before, and a baby who definitely didn't nap enough.

We talk about the wellness industrial complex and why all the cold plunges and sleep scores might actually be making you more stressed, not less. Then we get into what's actually worked — cooking at home, heavy weights, and the gamified abusive AI coach Abe built for himself that calls him a fat piece of shit if he skips the gym. It's a whole thing.

And then it goes somewhere unexpected. We end up talking about grief, losing a parent, and that strange moment on the other side of it where you feel both older and somehow freer. Abe talks about meeting his dad on his journey. We didn't plan to go there, but we did.

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@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We've been thinking a lot about what it actually means to raise a daughter — and this week we go there. Erin gets into how her relationship with her dad shaped everything: her confidence, her career, the reason no man has ever made her feel small. Abe gets into the pressure of getting it right with Layla, and why making her feel safe being herself is the whole job.

We also get into the patriarchy, which we don't fully agree on. Surprising to no one.

Then we debut a new segment: things that annoy us. Slow walkers who stop in the middle of the sidewalk, over-apologizing in texts, couples who call each other baby (Abe has a theory about this and it's unhinged), and the long birthday post that is actually a red flag. You'll know exactly what we mean.

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@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Gabriella Pomari is a divorce lawyer from Australia who got so tired of watching families break from the process that she built an entire platform to help couples before they ever need her. We loved her.

We get into the patterns she sees over and over — silent quitting, the invisible load, what it actually means when you stop wanting to share your news with your partner first. She breaks down her four pillars of communication, why the pause is more powerful than winning the argument, and how to ask your partner for space without them thinking you're blowing everything up.

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ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You asked, I answered — and nothing was off limits.

We get into why you haven't seen the new house yet (it's coming, I promise), the insecurities I actually have even if I seem confident, and yes, the full breakdown on the breast surgery — what I got, who I'd recommend researching, and the things nobody tells you until after.

We also talk postpartum timelines, intuitive eating, the workout routine that keeps me sane, why I put almost everything back into real estate, and what Abe and I will actually do when the kids are grown. Spoiler: I'm not worried.

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@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week we chat with Amy Chan, a relationship expert and author of the new book, "Unsingle: How to Date Smarter and Create Love That Lasts." We get into the highs and lows of modern dating, how to differentiate between chemistry and an activated nervous system, and why people are preferring IRL experiences over dating apps. Amy also explains the phenomenon of "over-icking" and how women will refuse a second date because of a tiny quirk! She talks about her dating bootcamps, the skills she teaches participants, and we even get into people falling in love with their AI chatbots. Whether you're actively dating, recovering from heartbreak, or looking for a healthier approach to love, this conversation offers actionable advice for finding deeper, more meaningful connections.

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ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We get a lot of questions about parenting, and honestly, it makes sense. Raising kids in 2026 is totally different from how it was for our parents! 

We talk all things kids and tech, including when we do--and don't--allow screens in our kids' lives. We also talk about internet safety, and how Abe accidentally freaked our kids out about posting anything about themselves online. (Honestly? It's probably for the best.) We chat about taking kids to restaurants--spoiler: no iPads!--and shed light on our parenting philosophy and when we actually find it helpful to treat our kids as our friends!  

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ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

As you get older and "life starts life-ing," you might notice your friendships starting to change. And that's what we dive into this week: times when we've grown in a different direction than our friends, how we started getting more selective about our inner circle, and how we've let go of the guilt that can come with changing friendships in adulthood.

We also talk about clingy friends Abe had when he was dating Erin (which of course, Erin warned him about!), differences between guy and girl friendships, and the friends we rely on to watch our kids without worrying about whether they'll keep them alive.

And finding couple friends that both of us actually like? We get into that too.

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ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Everyone wants to know how to keep things spicy... and pretending there one at all might actually be the problem.

This week we get into what's worked for us — the '1-10 Rule' that that has genuinely saved us from so many stupid fights, why a little distance and independent interests can do more for attraction than any date night, and the story of how Erin told Abe to quit corporate law. (Spoiler: He did. We don't regret it.)

We also talk prenups (which is less dramatic than it sounds), non-negotiable date nights when you have small kids, and what to actually do with the two hours after bedtime.

Get More Erin + Abe

ORDER ERIN'S BOOK 'She's A Host' HERE!

@cometogetherpod

@erindanalichy

@abe.lichy

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.