The grass is greener... where you water it.

In some chapters of life, partnership takes a little bit of a back seat. The ebbs and flows are part of life but if it’s put on the back burner for too long, that’s where couples can find themselves feeling lost. Prioritizing your own needs, prioritizing your partner’s needs, taking on more of the work when you can and ensuring that your partner is doing the same when you are feeling overwhelmed… these are great places to start.

Today we bring in our own experience, what has worked for a few of our close friends, and what definitely didn’t work to give you some ideas if you’re feeling a bit resentful, unsatisfied, or keep stubbing your toes when it comes to prioritizing your relationship.

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Also Mentioned In The Episode:

The Gottman Institute Marriage Minute

If you struggle with confidence, judgment, or self-acceptance even in the slightest, this episode is for you. Rachel is a wealth of information on showing up for yourself and finding your truth so you can live a life you were meant to live. We dig deep into brain mechanics and how a lot of this stems from our need to simply survive.

SO interesting and SO empowering. Thank you Rachel for showing up for our community in the ways you do best!

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Sometimes the episodes we record are the ones we need in that moment, and this is definitely one of those. There are a lot of tears as we dive into personal happenings and where the power of AND shows up in parenthood, marriage, fur baby mommin’ and life in general. It is possible to feel two things at once and although it can be confusing and conflicting, there is beauty in the AND.

Sink into it.

Let yourself feel both.

There can be space for all of it.

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As a pediatrician, author, and mother, Dr. Whitney Casares brings a lot of value to this week's episode. As two working mothers who both love our children AND our work, we appreciated the reminders and recommendations in her responses.

We discuss the stress and workload that the pandemic has caused for mothers, returning to work after maternity leave, your inner critic vs your inner coach, and how to thrive in both your career and motherhood. Thank you Whitney for sharing your truth on wearing multiple hats and helping guide this community to a better place!

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We have a lot of firsts and new content on this episode! Dr. Cassidy found her calling as a therapist from the need for more in her own life. She helps women prevent the issues that happen in motherhood by working through triggers that can cause overstimulation, overwhelm and mom rage. Is perfectionism holding you back from feeling your best? Does the dog barking feel like one more demand on your life? Do you need a break from social media or something else that is tugging at your time?

Thank you Dr. Cassidy for opening up about your own experiences to help us navigate through our challenges!

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We know you have felt it. Those heavy days, weeks, months where you are pulled in a million directions and the overwhelm creeps in. Maybe it’s from plans changing last minute or too much on your plate. Maybe it’s from needing to delegate or setting unrealistic expectations in the first place.

Wherever you are, we are standing with you in solidarity. This episode provides a warm hug if you need it right now and also some solutions on where we have been able to help prevent overwhelm from happening in our own lives.

Xo, Amy & Abby

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Dr. Angel Montfort is a mother of four and a perinatal mental health psychologist. She understands the heaviness that comes with motherhood and is here to coach us through the changes and challenges this role brings. This is an episode we both wish we would have had when we were brand new to motherhood. We hope it hits home to those of you struggling through the baby blues, mom guilt, speaking to yourself kindly, and accepting yourself in your role as a mother.

MEET DR. ANGEL MONTFORT

Article: This is Your Brain on Motherhood

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Shayla (known as @heyshayla on Instagram and YouTube) has a hilarious yet real take on motherhood. She is the mama who questions everything and gets all the answers so we don’t have to do the research. Ummm, yes please sign me up! We loved talking with her about her pandemic pregnancy, marriage after kids, and how she talks about the tough stuff to help others not feel so alone (but also where she draws the line). Thanks for the laughs and wisdom Shayla, this was such a fun one to record!

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We invited our husbands back on for their 6th HERself podcast interview! This one takes a different spin as a follow up from @decoding_couples in episode 79. We talk through a partner’s perspective on relationships after children, where we can continue growing in our communication, prioritizing marriages in full seasons, and how finding ourselves as individuals can improve our marriage. This is a great one to invite your partner to listen to as well!

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We have had several therapists on the podcast but Jenna is the FIRST who specializes in Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). The perfectionism, intrusive thoughts, and over-checking many of us do can be linked to OCD and these can all increase postpartum. Luckily there are solutions we can start doing today to reinforce a healthier habit and future for those who do struggle with these issues and Jenna lays out tangible ways we can begin to feel like ourselves again.

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