In It: Raising Kids Who Learn Differently

It’s no secret that physical activity can make a big difference for kids with ADHD. The hard part is figuring out how to give kids the time and space to move when they need to.

In this episode of In It, hosts Gretchen Vierstra and Rachel Bozek welcome Dr. Andy Kahn. Andy is a licensed psychologist and the associate director of behavior change and expertise here at Understood.org. He’s also the host of the podcast Parenting Behavior with Dr. Andy Kahn.  

He helps us take a good look at movement and why it makes such a difference for kids with ADHD. Tune in for easy tips to get more activity into your child’s daily routine.

Related resources

• Teaching tip: My “go to” teaching technique for overstimulated kids 
• What can I do if my child’s teacher takes recess away?
• How to get your child involved in sports
• 7 tips for improving your relationship with your child’s teacher
• Listen: How to get your child to try new things

Timestamps

(1:15) Exercise vs. physical activity

(3:53) “Spending” energy to regulate

(9:42) Ideas that encourage movement

(10:20) How much time is the right amount of time

(13:04) Afterschool sports and activities

(16:29) The importance of recess

(21:52) 504 plans, IEPs, and movement

(22:18) Getting creative

For a transcript and more resources, visit the episode page on Understood.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at u.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when a child with learning and thinking differences gets labeled as the “bad kid”? In this episode of In It, hosts Gretchen Vierstra and Rachel Bozek welcome Aleesha, a parent of five children, four of whom have an ADHD diagnosis. Aleesha has seen the effects of a child being perceived — and named — as the “bad kid.”

She shares what it’s been like to navigate school systems and the painful experience of seeing her child misunderstood.

We talk about why kids with ADHD and other learning differences are often mischaracterized. And Aleesha shares tips about what parents can do to support their children—and themselves—through it all.

Related resources

• What should I do when my child says “I’m bad”?
• 7 tips for improving your relationship with your child’s teacher
• Feeling socially isolated as a parent? You’re not alone
• 8 things I wish people knew about parenting a child with ADHD
• What to do when your child is the bully

Timestamps 

(2:19) First sign of a “bad kid” perception

(4:17) First parent-teacher conference

(4:48) End-of-year experience

(7:04) Important sign of a challenge with the teacher

(11:27) Talking with your child who feels like the teacher doesn’t like them

(12:39) Another perspective

(15:25) Talking to teachers about the impacts of their words and actions

(19:02) Advice for parents in a similar situation

(21:50) Focusing on the positive

For a transcript and more resources, visit the episode page on Understood.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at u.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, hosts Gretchen Vierstra and Rachel Bozek welcome Amy Lang. Amy is a sex educator who works with kids with learning and thinking differences. She is also the founder of birdsandbeesandkids.com. She helps the hosts tackle a tricky but essential topic: talking to kids with ADHD about sex. Here are just a few of the topics Amy talks about:

• Ways to talk about — and not talk about — body parts.
• Helping kids understand how to navigate these topics both inside and outside the home.
• Why these conversations are so important.

Listen for tips on how you can make these talks comfortable and effective. It’s a thoughtful, honest conversation that will help parents, caregivers, or anyone wondering how to support kids as they learn about sex.

Related resources

• 8 ways to help teens with ADHD avoid dating trouble spots
• ADHD and sex
• Sex, intimacy, and ADHD
• Birds + Bees + Kids

Timestamps

(1:39) When your child starts the conversation 

(7:00) The importance of social cues

(9:21) Kids being well-informed

(11:28) What age to start talking about sex with your kid

(14:00) Using the real names of body parts

(17:04) Talking to kids at different ages

(20:00) Potential challenges

For a transcript of this episode and more resources, visit the episode page on Understood.org.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at u.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This week on In It, we’re sharing an episode from another Understood podcast. It’s called Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson, and we’re big fans.

When she first became a parent, Rae experienced a bout of severe postpartum depression. But at the time, there wasn’t much information about ADHD and women, let alone ADHD and postpartum mental health.

Rae had heard that there was a link between ADHD and postpartum depression. But with a tiny baby to care for and a life to navigate, she had more pressing things to deal with. 

But the question kept bugging her: Does ADHD make you more likely to have postpartum depression?

This week on Hyperfocus, Rae finally gets some answers to questions she has had for years. Her guest is Dr. Catherine Birndorf, an expert on postpartum mood disorders and co-founder, CEO, and medical director of The Motherhood Center of New York.

Related resources

• Catherine’s book: What No One Tells You
• 3 things I’m learning as a new mom with ADHD
• 72 hours in the life of a working mom with ADHD
• Parenting tips when you and your child have ADHD

Timestamps

(02:55) ADHD as a postpartum concern

(09:47) PMADs: Not just the ‘baby blues’

(14:21) What can struggling parents do?

(21:07) Medication and pregnancy

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Hyperfocus podcast page at Understood.org

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at u.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode of In It, hosts Gretchen Vierstra and Rachel Bozek welcome Christina Cipriano, PhD, MEd. Dr. Chris is a psychologist, and an associate professor at the Yale University Child Study Center. She is also the author of Be Unapologetically Impatient, which comes out this summer.

Dr. Chris has four children, including a daughter who has ADHD and sensory challenges and a son with a rare, regressive disease. She has given a lot of thought to the idea of apologizing when you have nothing to be sorry for. 

What can we say instead of “I’m sorry”? And what do we do when others say they’re sorry to us, just because something in our lives is a challenge? Dr. Chris has helpful tips for many of these scenarios. 

Related resources

• What families wish you knew about learning disabilities
• Tips from an ADHD coach: Saying sorry too much
• Why I stopped saying “sorry” as a mom (and started saying “no”)
• What to write in an email to your child’s teacher
• Need help advocating for your kid at school? We talk to a pro
• What is self-advocacy? 

Timestamps

(1:43) The problem with the words “I’m sorry”

(7:35) What is a deficit frame?

(11:42) Alternatives to “I’m sorry”

(19:54) More alternatives for apologizing

(21:11) Teaching our kids to be unapologetic

(23:42) Starting with “thank you”

(24:46) The science of it all

For a transcript of this episode and more resources, visit the episode page on Understood.org.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at u.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode of In It, hosts Gretchen Vierstra and Rachel Bozek welcome author and therapist KC Davis. KC is a therapist who hosts the podcast Struggle Care. Her new book Who Deserves Your Love will be out in May 2025. She is also the best-selling author of How to Keep House While Drowning.  

KC talks about being a “messy” person and reasons why we could all benefit from caring a little less about messiness. She offers tips for getting your home to “work for you.” And she helps us understand reasons to care less about the mess.

Related resources

• Messy room? How to help your child keep it neat
• Why kids with executive function challenges have trouble starting tasks
• Listen: ADHD and messiness (Jeannie’s story)
• My Home Is Messy, and I Don’t Feel Bad About It (KC in The New York Times)

Timestamps

(3:08) What makes us special can also be what makes us scattered

(4:41) The tendency to be messy

(5:52) Identifying solutions

(7:32) Executive function and home management

(10:18) The steps involved in a task

(11:20) Helpful tips

(14:28) Focusing on function

(16:37) How you talk about mess

For a transcript of this episode and more resources, visit the episode page on Understood.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at u.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode of In It, hosts Gretchen Vierstra and Rachel Bozek welcome professional parent advocate Danielle Ward. Danielle started out advocating for her own kids, several years ago. 

Now, through her company Encompass Parent Solutions, she offers families of kids with learning and thinking differences non-legal help with advocacy, support, and education counsel. 

Danielle chats with Gretchen and Rachel about some of the most important dos and don’ts for parents who are advocating for their child at school. Danielle outlines the steps to take when your child is struggling and how to recognize when a parent advocate might be necessary. She also explains the difference between a parent advocate and a special education attorney.

For a transcript and more resources, visit the In It page on Understood.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Related resources

• 8 steps to advocating for your child at school
• Where to find legal help
• The difference between special education advocates and attorneys
• What is the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA)?
• Listen: An attorney’s advice on special education disputes

Timestamps

(00:59) What does a parent advocate do?

(02:56) Description of Danielle’s first IEP meeting

(04:57) Understanding the difference between parent advocates and lawyers

(08:13) Whether or not kids should be in meetings at school

(09:22) Steps to follow when you sense your child is struggling

(10:33) What to do when your child has a diagnosis

(15:24) Tips for writing an effective letter or email

(19:02) Dos and don’ts for child advocacy

(22:06) Guidelines for recording meetings

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at u.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode of In It, hosts Gretchen Vierstra and Rachel Bozek welcome parenting coach Mary Van Geffen. Mary offers online classes including a special one for moms of what she calls “spicy ones.” She also shares fun, funny, and relatable posts every day on Instagram.

Mary talks with Gretchen and Rachel about parenting spicy kids and how to know if you, too, are spicy. What does it mean to be spicy? Are you spicy? And what should you do about it?

Related resources

• Parenting tips when you and your child have ADHD
• Body doubling for ADHD: What it is and how it works
• 5 oddly specific ADHD strategies that help me work
• Listen: ADHD and: Parenting fails
• Listen: Double trouble: ADHD moms share what it’s like to parent kids with ADHD
• Mary Van Geffen: Parent Coach for the Spicy OnesTM

Timestamps  

(1:10) Defining “spicy ones”

(4:41) Parents’ worries about themselves as parent  

(7:36) What impacts children most

(8:59) Dealing with sensory overload as a parent

(16:51) Organization challenges for parents with ADHD

(18:55) Body doubling

For a transcript and more resources, visit the In It page on Understood.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at u.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

For kids who struggle with ADHD, building skills like executive function and self-advocacy can be difficult. 

In this episode of In It, hosts Gretchen Vierstra and Rachel Bozek welcome Dr. Andy Kahn. Andy is a licensed psychologist and the associate director of behavior change and expertise here at Understood. He’s also the host of the podcast Parenting Behavior with Dr. Andy Kahn.

Andy discusses why skill-building is important for kids with ADHD. He also shares many ways families can help.

Related resources

• Understanding impulsivity in kids
• The 3 areas of executive function
• ADHD medication shortages: 8 ways to cope
• Listen: Talking through social struggles
• Listen: The power of self-advocacy for kids at IEP and 504 meetings

Timestamps  

(1:27) Reasons why some kids do not take meds 

(3:42) Areas where skill-building can help kids with ADHD 

(5:33) Skill-building for executive function 

(10:38) Skill-building for social situations

(15:40) Skill-building for impulsivity 

(19:25) Understanding and working on self-advocacy 

(23:00) The connection between access to medication and skill-building

For a transcript of this episode and more resources, visit the In It page on Understood.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at u.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What makes learning to read difficult? And how does having dyslexia make it even more challenging?

In this episode of In It, hosts Gretchen Vierstra and Rachel Bozek welcome literacy expert Louise Baigelman. A former teacher, Louise is the co-founder and CEO of the literacy organization Storyshares. She explains why reading can be so challenging for kids who struggle with dyslexia, and shares tips and strategies to help.

Tune in to get Louise’s expert advice on how to help struggling readers.

Related resources

• 9 terms to know if your child has trouble with reading
• The difference between dyslexia and dyscalculia
• 9 free public library resources for your child (and you)
• What is explicit instruction?
• Listen: Dyslexia is more than mixing up letters

Timestamps 

(1:08) Why reading is such a challenge for kids with dyslexia

(2:06) The meaning of explicit instruction

(2:37) Common reading struggles for kids with dyslexia

(4:18) Reasons learning to read gets harder as kids get older

(5:19) Ways to engage struggling readers

(8:14) How audiobooks can help

(12:16) The science of reading

(17:11) Activities to help support reading  

(22:53) Next steps and tips for parents of struggling readers

For a transcript and more resources, visit the In It episode page on Understood.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at u.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.