Recovering From Reality

For this week's episode, Alexis is solo and does a little Q&A for you guys! Alexis addresses questions from our listeners and covers topics like; surgery, shame, relapse, tattoos, spirituality, adventures with Tess, porn, and The Bling Ring—just to name a few. Read more about this episode on our blog!

Connect w/ Alexis here

If you or someone you love needs help, go to alorecovery.com

#ANDSOITIS

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We have the lovely and inspiring Lauren Sundstrom on the podcast this week. Lauren is a proud trans woman and advocates for the LGBTQ community. She shares her story and insight with us, and we are so grateful to have her on! All women, trans and cis, deserve to speak up about their rights. Lauren’s strength and activism is amazing. People can relate and learn from her story and knowledge.

Read more about this episode on our blog

Connect w/ Alexis here

Connect w/ Lauren Sundstrom here

If you or someone you love needs help, go to alorecovery.com

#ANDSOITIS

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Our special guest on this week’s episode is Vanessa Fitzgerald! Vanessa is an amazing holistic health coach who helps people become their best selves. She joins us to talk about her practice, and some health/lifestyle tips to clean up our guts and minds. Her Instagram feed shares gut health info and clean eating tips, but what really drew Alexis in was her Adderall detox. Her open discussion and work detoxing clients is inspiring. So stay tuned!

Read more about this episode on our blog

Connect w/ Alexis here

If you are interested in contacting Vanessa for a session, go to veeshoney.com or email her at [email protected]. She offers phone sessions as well!

If you or someone you love needs help, go to alorecovery.com

#ANDSOITIS

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In this episode, we have the lovely Sarah Landry joining us from The Bird’s Papaya! Sarah is all about body confidence & loving yourself on & offline. We sit down to talk about her journey, the dangers of diet culture, & how we can benefit from body neutrality. Sarah believes creating awareness is key. Thank goodness for recovery, body confidence, & for Sarah’s amazing work! We are all worthy of the self-love message she is spreading. Read more about this episode on our blog. 

If you or someone you love needs help, go to alorecovery.com

#ANDSOITIS

Connect w/ Alexis here

Connect w/ Sarah Landry here

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Given the current events taking place in the Unites States, individual states stripping away a woman’s right to make her own reproductive health care choices, we felt the need to address this topic. Abortion access is a human right period. This is an issue that effects 1/4 women, across party lines and religious affiliations. Alexis opens this episode with her perspective. Later we dive into reproductive health care with Robyn Pool, a licensed midwife here in the Los Angeles area. We discuss an array of topics such as VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean), circumcision, body autonomy, informed consent and much more. At the end we’re wrapping this episode with a little something new, so stick around and we hope you enjoy it.

Read more about this episode on our blog

Important links: PUSH Midwifery, ICAN (International Children Assistance Network, Hospital Cesarean Rates, Yellow Hammer Fund, Planned Parenthood, Leap Frog Group - Compare Hospitals, ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union),

Connect w/ Alexis here

Connect w/ Robyn Pool here

If you or someone you love needs help, go to alorecovery.com

#ANDSOITIS

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This week’s episode features special guest Lauryn Evarts Bosstick from The Skinny Confidential.  She joins us to talk about her goals with her brand, being her authentic self, and dealing with a family member’s addiction.

The Skinny Confidential has become a multi-platform brand full of blog posts, social media content, podcast episodes, and even YouTube videos.  From wellness, to business tips, to life advice, Lauryn has it all covered. Talk about total lady boss!

Lauryn’s goal is to stay as authentic as possible with her followers and show them that it’s okay to have a balance of health and fun.  Or as she calls it, “holding kale in one hand and champagne in the other.” Hilarious!

Having this balance between healthy living and doing whatever the F you want is really important, especially in our age of social media. Lauryn has no shame in sharing her experience getting plastic surgery, while still sharing the message of health and self-love.

We need to be more accepting of those choosing to enhance their appearance. There is no shame in the botox game! Just remember not to compare yourself to others no matter your body type.

You do you, and don’t care about what others think.

This mantra has even helped Lauryn get through pushback she’s had online.  She is a self-proclaimed over-sharer (perfect influencer personality!), and totally accepts hat not everyone is going to be on board with her and her journey. #ANDSOITIS

Not only does Lauryn stay true to her authentic self, she also wants her followers to be informed, which is why she brings incredible experts onto her podcast. (Seriously, listen to this episode with Khalil Rafati owner of Sun Life Organics) This brings the perfect mix between authenticity and relying on authoritative perspective to her audience.

“You have to be your own guru.”  Lauryn always tells her audience to go out and do research on their own.  If you are unsure about something, gain knowledge and form your own opinion.  Don’t just blindly follow everyone else.

This is what makes The Skinny Confidential’s brand so relatable and popular.  Authenticity is really important to followers nowadays.  We are stepping away from that perfectly curated feed, and leaning toward a more realistic image.

We want the in-between scenes, not just the highlight reel, of an influencer’s life.  Sharing your struggles and being real is highly valued.

Lauryn has helped pave the way, and has done so by sharing her story on her podcast.  A big part of her journey was handling her sister’s addictions and recovery. As a family member of an addict, she found it really difficult to relinquish control and allow growth to occur naturally.

“It’s hard to watch someone you love and care about kill themselves in front of you and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

The best thing you can do is stop trying to control your loved one’s situation, and allow them to see reality and the bottom for themselves.  Her family’s experience has given her a lot of empathy for family members of addicts, even for her own parents. Once her family broke that cycle of co-dependence, things started to look up.

There are plenty of ways you can support a family member going through recovery.  One way is to join a support group yourself, so you can gain some perspective. You can join groups like Families United for Recovery, which was started by Alexis’ mom.  Or you can go to free groups hosted by recovery centers, like the weekly groups at Alo.

Remember: recovery is not linear.  There will always be highs and many lows, so as long as you stay in tune with your loved one’s journey and come from a place of love and respect, healing will take place.

Speaking of love, there is an aspect of love that tends to go unnoticed for many women, especially moms.  And that is self-love! We need to find ways to wind down after a hard day, that doesn’t necessarily involve opening a bottle of wine.

Alexis explains a few ways she winds down, this includes spending time with her daughters, long showers, body scrubs, essential oils, and acknowledging her feelings, instead of suppressing them. Learning to talk yourself in a way that is nourishing can be more beneficial than you think.

Lauryn loves to practice grounding/earthing, whether that is sticking your toes in the sand at the beach, or walking barefoot on the grass. Getting in touch with nature is a great way to unwind.

From eucalyptus leaves to salt lamps, Lauryn is a wealth of information when it comes to self-care! And this is only a fraction of what you can find on her blog.

Lastly, we can’t talk about self-care without addressing our love/hate relationship with social media.  It can be hard to disconnect, especially when you are trying to build a brand that requires a lot of content and engagement.  Just thinking about all we “should” be and do puts a weight on our shoulders, and leaves an open door for anxiety and depression to enter.

As someone who produces lots of content each day, Lauryn knows that a healthy balance is important to keeping your sanity.  She tries to put more energy into creating content than consuming content. And when she does, she is careful about who and what she is looking at.  If we are feeding ourselves with negativity from certain accounts, we need to take a step back. Instead, we can start following people that make us do and feel better.

Try limiting your scrolling time on Instagram and narrowing down the stories you watch to about 5 accounts, some of her favorite business accounts being Ed Mylett and Gary Vaynerchuk.  She also recently spoke to the author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, and his biggest advice was becoming more disciplined about the type of content you are consuming online.  

This way, if certain accounts are making you depressed, just unfollow. We’ve all been there and could use a good cleanse once in a while!

Ultimately, learning to be your own guru, finding what works for you, and living as your authentic self is going to bring you joy.  If you want more info on how to reach these goals, check out Lauryn’s podcast, The Skinny Confidential, and stay tuned for a special round table episode she has in store!  

#ANDSOITIS

If you or someone you love needs help, visit Alo House Recovery.

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In this week’s episode, we have the lovely Arielle Lorre on to chat about her journey to sobriety, spirituality, and her new podcast, Over the Influence!

Arielle is a blogger and health and fitness guru that spends time posting delicious recipes, fitness tips, and curating her beautiful Instagram account. We are seriously jealous of her aesthetic! But what some people might not know about Arielle is that she is sober, and uses her recovery journey to help others.

Much like Alexis and Evan, Arielle and her husband met in recovery, and have a significant age gap between them. Part of recovery is joining a community of people from all different walks of life and age ranges. So instead of seeing someone’s age, we just the amazing, strong person and the struggles they’ve been through. Likewise, Arielle just sees the man that she loves, and not a number.

If you know your truth and rise above the judgment of others, you will never care what people think of age difference in a relationship. 

This shared understanding among people that are sober is not just for spouses, but for everyone.

“You can go anywhere in the world and walk into a room of sober people and not know them and still have that bond. We are all kindred souls and have this shared camaraderie.” 

There are also no age limits in the recovery world, which is why recovered people have friends of all ages. Everyone is on the same journey of healing and growth.

As far as Arielle’s backstory goes, she does not have the “conventional” traumatic history that most addicts do. She lived a relatively stable life growing up, and didn’t have much trauma. It wasn’t until she began drinking alcohol at age 17 that everything changed. 

For the first time in her life, Arielle felt at ease. She realized that up until her first drink, she had felt nothing but unease her entire life.  

Once she knew the feeling of relief, there was no turning back. She began partying and using cocaine, and at age 19, was sent to her first recovery program at an outpatient center. 

For 10 years, Arielle was in and out of treatment, swinging back and forth between recovery and relapse. It wasn’t until a completely traumatic experience that she finally chose to gain control of her life. 

She was living in California at the time, and remembered her parents flying in to host an intervention. At this point she was abusing alcohol, cocaine, Xanax, and Adderall. Seizures from overuse would completely overtake her body, and she was once found unresponsive in her apartment by the police and rushed the hospital.

Arielle knew she needed to surrender, but the idea of facing life sober seemed too overwhelming.

This is a common experience for those in recovery. For so long, you are used to numbing out any emotion with the high of a substance. Without anything to fall back on, you are left to feel those raw emotions. And it is so hard. 

Unfortunately, there is no way to wean into life. But Arielle truly believes that her community of support is what got her through to the other side. Then, you must surrender to the process of healing and be humbled by it.

We have to be strong enough to admit that we don’t know everything, and that we must re-learn how to live life.

Learning to be okay with suffering is difficult, but that is where a spiritual foundation can be a real game changer. We can choose to believe in something greater than us, and rely on that to guide us through life. It is then our connection to something bigger that keeps us going. 

“With faith, it makes the waves of life less turbulent. Life becomes calmer.”

All the joy, suffering, and pain that we feel on this earth are the essence of life. Without the pain and suffering, we can’t experience the pure joy.

Like the voice that called Arielle said, “There is something beautiful on the other side of this.” We need to hold out hope and remember the lessons we’ve learned from our painful experiences. 

These principles are what Arielle is communicating on her new podcast. The community she’s cultivated with Over the Influence is really important, and she believes it is a true part of recovery.

Her online presence has allowed her to be open about her struggles, and help those that are struggling as well. She calls on her experiences with sobriety and health to create her amazing content and change people’s lives.

With a world that places a lot of value on numbers, we need to ask ourselves what really matters to the followers, and that is community. Even though engagement in the comment section might be low, there are a ton of DMs waiting to be answered, where people want to have a real connection.

Social media can be a great tool for fostering genuine connection between like-minded souls. Then, our relationships blossom into something empowering and real.

To wrap up and end on a light note, Alexis and Arielle play a fun game of Would You Rather. Because let’s be real…who wouldn’t love to choose between sex with Jason Bateman or a complete unattractive stranger?! You’ll just have to listen to find out!

#ANDSOITIS

If you or someone you love needs help, please go to alorecovery.com

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In this week’s episode of Recovering from Reality, we get to hear from Dave, the host of the Dopey podcast. Dave and Alexis talk about his recovery journey, if AA is still “anonymous”, and what Dopey is all about. Dave is an awesome guy that has a way of turning the darkest experiences into the funniest stories.   His show Dopey is the perfect mix of discussion and debauchery, and has become one of the best recovery podcasts out there. At least we think so! I mean, he had Jaime Lee Curtis as a guest, how much better can you get? Recently, the show’s shift from silly to serious came with Chris’ tragic death. Dave has had to find a happy medium between laughter and mourning the loss of his friend. But it’s this vulnerability about his struggles that resonates with listeners the most. Back in the early days of Dave’s AA experience, he found himself shying away from the identity of “former addict”. There is still such a stigma around addiction, that he knew it would be hard to find work if he came out about it. This stigma is one that ordinary people face every day. And it is where the “anonymous” in Alcoholics Anonymous comes into play. Anonymity helps protect the people that are trying to get their lives back on track. Yet unfortunately as a public figure, Alexis didn’t have much of a choice in this department. She was recovering in the public eye, and everyone watched her struggle. Now after much growth, Alexis embraces her sobriety and her ability to speak out. She is out and proud about sobriety! And without people like her and Dave, the stigma will never end. Dave had a slightly different experience with anonymity. He attributes the program to his sobriety now, and took his anonymity very seriously in the beginning. An old sponsor told him that if he opened up and then relapsed while recording Dopey, he would be giving the 12-step fellowship a bad name. An old boss of his even said, “Once a junkie, always a junkie.” Sure, Dave was afraid of relapse and the risk of coming out about his issue, but after Chris’ death, he truly realized being vulnerable is really important to helping others. Chris was someone who knew all too well how important sobriety is, yet he couldn’t defeat his demons. He was 4 years sober when he relapsed, and died quickly after. Dave was in shock, and soon began to realize that not everyone recovers. This is what motivated him to continue with Dopey. The message of death is the strongest he could send to his listeners. And fighting through the mourning and grief and coming out with joy on the other side is truly inspirational. Remember, Alcoholics Anonymous is not the only method of healing. While AA helped Alexis in early recovery, she discovered her spiritual practice and holistic approach to be most helpful. But both Dave and Alexis agree that whatever works for you is what’s most important. Now that the whole world knows their story, Dave and Alexis have to share it with those most important to them: their children. While Dave’s 9-year old is too young to know all the details, she does know that her dad is sober and that he goes to meetings. Likewise, Alexis’ 6-year old daughter knows that her mom and dad don’t drink and they help other people stop drinking at Alo Recovery Center. Keeping things light and matter of fact with children is key. When Dave got clean, he realized he was doing the best he could do on drugs for 41 years. Now, he wants to see what his best is without them, in the next chapter of his life. If it weren’t for his desire to be a good father, he wouldn’t have gotten clean. He knew getting sober was the only way. Finally, Dave appreciates the adventure of sober living. He sincerely enjoys his life, and showing his genuine self to the world. “We spend so much time here on earth, frustrated about the highs and lows of living and expect life to be a certain way. But if everything was on a straight path, wouldn’t it be so boring?” It would feel more like death than life. “If you were happy all the time, there would be no happiness. Because you can’t compare the feeling to anything else.” We have to feel the lows to know the highs, and being sober allows you to check in with those emotions instead of check out from them. Instead of just living “bleh” life on drugs, you can live a beautiful life full of all the feels! With Dopey, Dave uses his voice to help others, because so many people helped him along the way. He spreads the message that if you are addicted to something, there IS joy on the other side.

…And that looking back and laughing at our old, crazy selves can bring the greatest healing of all!

#ANDSOITIS

If you or someone you love needs help, please go to alorecovery.com

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Romantic relationships in sobriety get a pretty bad wrap, so on this episode of Recovering from Reality, I sit down with my husband (and best friend) Evan Haines as we share some lessons we've learned along our path to recovery. This week we're celebrating our 7 year wedding anniversary and it feels like the perfect time to reflect on the story of how we met. When I first met Evan (yes, we met in AA) I would listen to him talk and feel almost envious of the things he would say. He seemed so... enlightened. I looked up to him in a way and he inspired me from our very first date. On our second date he asked to meet my mom and later that night he broke up with me. Here's just one example of the wisdom Evan drops throughout the episode, "In recovery, we learn to accept ourselves, and in finding that compassion for ourselves we can find it for others." #andsoitis

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It's episode # 7 of Recovering from Reality and I'm sitting down with my wonderful, hilarious sister Gabby! We talk about everything from our upcoming Vegas trip to the different perceptions we each held of our childhood. Gabby and I spent quite a few years working through our own sh*t before we could get close to one another and have a real sister relationship. Sisters have such complex, chaotic, and sometimes telepathic bond. Throw in traumatic upbringing into the mix things are bound to be a little messy. We examine the different dynamics and roles we each played within the structure of our family unit and talk about how we don't want to extend those roles into our own families. This episode covers themes of forgiveness, resentment, and emotional oppression. We also play a pretty hilarious inappropriate game of 'would you rather' which gives y'all a shining example of the women we've become today. #goals #mauture #andsoitis

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