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I find that when we communicate with others, in any way, we are either helping or hurting our relationship with them. Yet every day, more and more of our communication is digital. I cut my relationship teeth as a kid on Dale Carnegie’s book, “How To Win Friends and Influence People.” But this assumed we were face to face. How do we win friends and influence people from a digital perspective? A few years ago I sat down with an expert, Erica Dhawan. She wrote a book titled, Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust and Connection, No Matter the Distance. Erica says if you look at the next text, email, or DM as simply a method to deliver a message and not as a human interaction, you are missing it. If you think your all-caps or exclamation points or brevity or emojis are sufficient, you’re about to be schooled. Ultimately it comes down to this, continue doing it as you have, or realize there is a far greater opportunity for your work and life success if you listen in and hear how you can make some key adjustments and use every text, email, or zoom to solidify and enhance your relationships and significantly increase your relational success. 

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Listen to those three questions again - Can I Succeed? Do I Belong? Am I Loved? I’m tempted to feel those questions address the root issue of every human on earth. As I continue to research personal identity and how we as a culture seem to be more fragile and threatened than ever, I feel these questions are primary. So I had a conversation with Dr Gregory Walton. Greg is the co-director of the Dweck-Walton Labs. Dweck as in Carol Dweck, the legend of mindset. Greg is also a professor of psychology at Stanford. Much of Greg’s research investigates psychological processes that contribute to major social problems. His research is supported by many foundations, including the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. As weighty as all this sounds, Greg’s quest is to discover simple psychological shifts that build trust, belonging, and confidence. He’s culminated his findings in a new book, titled Ordinary Magic: The Science of How We Can Achieve Big Change with Small Acts. So can addressing these huge questions be so simple? What I came to as we talked, was, yes, the answers can be simple, because they cut to the root cause issues of ourselves. But. I don’t call them easy. Not at all. At the top of the show I pull this quote out from Greg, “An hour-long surgery can change your life forever. Is there any reason a precise psychological exercise can’t do the same?” But going under the knife is a big decision. So is choosing to believe differently than you have.

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We are at a time when anyone with a message is pushing to have a book and a podcast. I have been in the podcast game a long time and things have changed a lot. But the question of what makes a good podcast and if you should even have one, hasn’t changed. So I’m bringing back a discussion I had a few years ago with Jordan Harbinger. Jordan has an incredibly large and successful podcast with The Jordan Harbinger Show. He started his show from scratch and built it up by doing the hard work and playing the long game. He’s fairly skeptical about podcasting and right at the beginning of this talk you’ll hear Jordan flat out state he feels very few people should start or have a podcast. Do not be disheartened, as he qualifies this throughout the show and I strongly encourage you to listen and I think you’ll find incredible insight into podcasting and whether you will be well served to have a podcast. Or not. This episode will give you some wisdom on having a valuable podcast, and likely save you a lot of time and hassle if you realize it’s not a good fit. If you appreciate Jordan, find him at The Jordan Harbinger Show wherever you get your podcasts.

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The topic today is courage and my guest defines courage as, consciously choosing to act in the presence of fear and potential risk, real or perceived, and she cites it as a learnable skill. Dr. Margie Warrell is a five-time best-selling author and Forbes columnist. She’s the author of the upcoming book The Courage Gap: 5 Steps to Braver Action which is what got my attention. This is not looking at monumental feats of bravery against life-threatening circumstances. This is the everyday fears we seem to be failing from culturally. I’ve been thinking of our current fear culture like a toxin in the air at your home and office that you don’t detect, that is slowly poisoning you. And you grow steadily more sick and don’t understand why. As you’ll hear me discuss with Margie, throughout history human kind was only exposed to a couple fearful issues per day. If that. Today we are flooded with infinite fears from around the globe and even the galaxy. We can’t eradicate fear, and shouldn’t, but we sure can decrease it. And then, we can be conscious and choose when to be courageous, which again, is not something we do once we’ve overcome our fear. It’s something we do while we are still afraid. I really enjoyed and benefitted from this talk with Margie, we really resonated, and it helped open up my understanding of both fear and courage, and gave me tangible concepts of where I’m not being courageous, and how I can be far more. You can find her book, The Courage Gap, anywhere, and find her at the Live Brave podcast and Margiewarrell.com

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I grew up with parents who had me reading Dale Carnegie’s book, How To Win Friends & Influence People, when other kids were reading comic books. They modeled being respectful to all people, especially those in the least positions of power. I actually found them to be far more intolerant of those in power. Four years ago I sat down with my Dad, Dan Miller, famous for his career book which has become a classic, 48 Days To The Work & Life Love, to talk about it. At the time my parents were living in a gated community in Florida where they often frequented the neighborhood club for meals. As soon as they pulled up in the parking lot, you’d think they were royalty in how the staff treated them. Literally. It was almost embarrassing. But it wasn’t because my parents were well known. It wasn’t because they tipped well. It’s because they cared. They knew what was going on in the lives of the valets, the hostesses, the servers, the manager of the place. They did it because it’s what they believed was right and best. But from the care they received, people could get the idea they lived a charmed life. But what I witnessed was that they planted the seeds…for a charmed life. So here is a discussion I had with my now deceased Dad, in his previous office, about the reasons and benefits behind treating all people with respect. 

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What is healthy and helpful self-reliance? I submit that few of us know and most of us are falling to one side or another of unhealth. On one side we exercise very little self-reliance, which means if we are not relying on self, we are relying on others. On the other side is an overabundance of self-reliance where we rely almost exclusively on ourselves and hardly at all on others. So is there a happy medium? Or are there some aspects of our lives where we should be super self-reliant and other areas where we should seek out help? This is why I brought on Maha Abouelenein, as her new book is titled, 7 Rules of Self-Reliance: How to Stay Low, Keep Moving, Invest in Yourself, and Own Your Future. Maha is a personal branding expert, CEO and founder of global communications consulting firm Digital and Savvy, and a best-selling author. She has a long, impressive pedigree of success in the corporate world in the Middle East and in America, but none of it is why I brought her on the show. Maha had a challenging upbringing that gave her every reason to be a victim and not practice self-reliance. And she’s experienced the consequences of unhealthy self-reliance on both sides. My focus was taking on the topic of self-reliance to understand how we are doing it poorly, and how to do it with greater success. Find her at mahaabouelenein.com/

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Welcome. I'm Kevin Miller and this is a podcast for your personal evolution.  In this episode we’re talking about trust. In today’s culture more than ever, trust is the number one asset of success. But we are often failing to gain people’s trust, and we don’t understand why. We inherently think of trust as something you have and are, or don’t have and are not. Most everyone hearing this will believe themselves to be trustworthy because they are honest, moral people who live with integrity. But you are about to hear eight aspects of trust you must intentionally and proactively engage in if you want to really be viewed as trustworthy and benefit from it in your life and business. If you have a business, it takes more than you think to create loyal clients and get their referrals. It takes more than you just having good character and being honest. David Horsager is with me and this is his devotion and area of mastery. He’s CEO of the Trust Edge Leadership Institute, and national bestselling author of The Trust Edge

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I find people who are seeking to evolve personally, greatly desire to contribute to humanity. The people in need are endless and there are global plights that we feel impotent to address. What I’ve come to learn is how much good we can do with our simple grocery store purchases. This isn’t an ad, just my normal curiosity in evolving myself and maturing my impact in this world. Paul Rice founded Fair Trade and just came out with a book about it. I’ve known vaguely about Fair Trade but didn’t realize what it really meant. In this conversation you’ll hear Paul’s story about living in Nicaragua for a decade to help small coffee farmers. Then coming back to America to create Fair Trade and how it helps people and really doesn’t cost us any more. You can literally walk into your grocery store and look for a product like cherry tomatoes, and for no greater price, buy the ones with the Fair Trade stamp, and know you are helping a truckload of people live a sustainable life and treat the earth well. You’ll learn all you need about converting some of your purchases to Fair Trade, right in this episode. I also really enjoyed getting to know Paul. I may be joining him in Costa Rica later in the year to visit some coffee farmers and work to spread the message. His new book is, Every Purchase Matters: How Fair Trade Farmers, Companies, And Consumers Are Changing The World. I found the book intriguing, but you can engage right now by looking for Fair Trade products in your next grocery trip.

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